Author's Note: This is my first ever fan-fic. It deals with the start of Tony and Michelle's new life together after Season 4. It is AU, and Jack Bauer is really dead. This way the events of Season 5 won't happen, and T/M will have their happy ever after.
Chapter One- "Reflections".
Tony pulled the SUV into the driveway of Michelle's apartment and killed the engine. For a few moments he rested his head against the side window and stared silently into space, his mind was busily trying to process as much of the previous day as possible.
This time yesterday he had been lying on a sofa at Jen's drinking a beer and watching some kind of Soap Opera…. The show was crap, but that suited him just fine… so was his life. There were shows on that he liked, but he had no intention of watching them they caused too much heartache and pain. Whenever he watched them they reminded him of the times he would watch them whilst snuggled up under a blanket with Michelle, holding her in his arms and planting soft kisses onto her head of perfect reddish brown curls.
Then the phone call from Jack came and he was sucked back into the world that was essentially responsible for putting him in this situation… But it also sent him back to her. He remembered the 12 hours or so that they had worked together gradually, warily lowering their barriers, each allowing the other back into their heart… But at first the bitterness and anger had been strong and undeniable.
"The last time I saw you, you couldn't stay sober long enough to keep a job!!"
Those words had been like a knife to his heart, cutting deep into him. It wasn't the subject of the outburst that hurt so much, hell, it wasn't like she was making an unfounded and erroneous accusation, he had been too dam drunk to be of any use to an employer! What hurt was the fact that she was the one who said them, and that her anger and bitterness was his fault, the fact that it showed just how much he had hurt her.
But now looking back on it, he realised that the woman who stood before him saying those word was just "Michelle Dessler CTU Director". She wasn't his Michelle; she was a façade of an emotionally detached cold woman… Everyone else bought it but he didn't. He could read her true feelings in her eyes, the slightest mannerism or gesture. He'd been her lover for three years, two of which they had been married for. He could read her like an open book, more easily than anyone else could ever hope to do. That intimate knowledge meant that he knew she was putting on a public face, and his heart shattered into a million pieces to think of her going home at night and breaking down with no-one to comfort and sooth her.
As they'd worked together, she gradually began to forget her act, returning to her true nature, to the Michelle that he knew and loved. They had been drawn back to each other like this, until eventually she had agreed to leave CTU with him and start fresh.
"I can't spend another day without you. I'm ready to leave here; I'm ready to go with you"
Then with all the bitterness of their initial reunion gone, he'd kissed her, kissed those soft lips whose sweet taste he had so long craved. She'd told him to be careful on the mission to capture Marwan's associate. Her words were soft, loving and sincere and spoken in a tone she saved only for him, and which was so radically different from the sharp, bitter icy one she'd used several hours earlier.
Then, after this sweet moment of happiness, the mission had gone to hell. He'd been taken hostage, and his beloved Michelle had made the reluctant and tortured decision to choose the nation over him, when the female mercenary working for Marwan had tried using him as a bartering chip. The woman who had taken him had then fooled CTU into believing she had committed suicide and taken him with her. He had been so fortunate that Jack had been able to work out that they had been tricked, and saved him.
His thoughts were interrupted by the voice of the woman sat next to him.
"You okay sweetheart? " Michelle inquired, with a voice filled with love again.
He took her hand and tenderly kissed the palm
"Yeah, 'Chelle I'm okay, just thinking..."
"About what?" She asked, lightly stroking his arm.
"About today, returning to CTU, being reunited with you, having you agree to trying again with our relationship…" Tony took a few seconds to regain his composure before saying the next words
"About how we were unable to save Jack."
Tony looked over at Michelle, as the tears began to flow.
"Shh.." Michelle soothed him, shuffling closer, pressing her lips lightly against his forehead before gazing into his eyes. "sweetheart, we did everything we could, Jack would have understood…"
She paused for a moment nodding gently to reinforce her words.
"We took a gamble and it didn't pay off, the Secret Service agent was determined to kill Jack, that's why he fired those final few rounds into him as he lay on the ground."
She lightly kissed his lips, and wiped his tears away.
"But I was right there, I could have stopped him." He replied, swallowing hard to control his emotions.
"Maybe, but had you tried something, you could be dead too. Jack was your friend; he wouldn't want you sacrificing yourself needlessly." She kissed him several times on the lips, whilst running her fingers through his hair.
"Come on sweetheart, let's go in home, and I'll make you some Coffee." she whispered once she had made sure he had calmed down a little.
For a few seconds he allowed those simple words to echo in his head "In home" he had never been to this apartment, but she was already calling it his home as well as hers.
He nodded climbing out, walking round to her side of the SUV and opening her door. Michelle smiled as she got out, and was soon pulled into a tight embrace.
"Oh Michelle, I love you" he whispered, sighing deeply and nuzzling his face into the crook her neck, breathing in her sweet smell, like he had so many times before.
"I love you so much Tony" she replied pressing her lips against the side of his face.
Then, taking his hand in hers, their fingers intertwined, she led him into the apartment.