Title: The Dating Game
Author: RobinL
Spoilers: This takes place after EOT, so anything through that is fair game.
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, I am just playing.
Prologue
Have you ever noticed that with men it is either feast or famine? Take my love life for instance. For the better part of three years I've had two swoon-worthy men in my life.
One was my on and off, hot and cold, sort-of-boyfriend, sometimes fiancé, Joe Morelli. The other was Ranger. Ranger's hard to describe. Part Rambo, part Batman, totally edible. He has been friend, mentor, protector, lover and tormentor all in one. Lately he's also been my boss.
Joe and I had a hot sex life, joint custody of a golden retriever and sometimes cohabitated. Ranger and I had enough sexual electricity to light all of Trenton and one night together that will be the gold standard by which I compare all future sexual encounters and I know that they'll all be lacking. Ranger had no problem making good on his threat to ruin me for all other men. Although the way he left the next morning left much to be desired. A little shaky on the dismount, big guy.
So I was not lacking for male attention. That was until about six months ago. It was a few weeks after I came to work for RangeMan. Joe and I had been living together, mostly because I felt slightly responsible for him getting his leg broken and I needed to be around to help him out. Meanwhile, Ranger and I were engaged in heavy flirting and large amounts of innuendo, which I only let go as far as my (slightly lax) moral code on cheating would allow.
After I was kidnapped by the latest in a long line of crazy men, which I regularly attract, Joe and I had a major blow-up. I mean big. It rivaled the fight that the Dick and I had after I found him being ridden by Joyce Barnhart like they were going for the Triple Crown. It was the apocalypse of fights. Apparently Joe was majorly pissed that I had gone back after Stiva, that I was working for Ranger, that I couldn't fit into the Burg mold, yadda, yadda, yadda. At least that was what I caught between the expletives and the things being thrown.
Come to think of it, Ranger was pissed, too. The difference was Ranger didn't yell. Ranger got quiet and kept his distance, physically and emotionally.
Well, after the fight to end all fights, I moved myself, my hamster and my clothes back to my apartment. The next day Joe left a message on my machine saying he was worn out and didn't want to ride the Stephanie Plum relationship roller coaster any more. Joe thought we should call it quits. And while I was angry he felt the need to break up with my machine, I had to agree with him. We were together more out of habit than anything else. The thought that I could finally enjoy Ranger's kisses guilt free didn't hurt either. What can I say, Ranger's hot and I think I love him.
The only problem was that ever since the incident with Stiva and my break-up with Joe, Ranger's been keeping his distance. At first I didn't really notice the difference. I mean, Ranger is sometimes the wind and just disappears for weeks on end. But after a few weeks I realized he was actively avoiding me. When I was at my desk, he was on assignment, when I was in his apartment using his shower and heavenly Bulgari, he was on the command floor, when I was on the gun range, he was in his office. It seemed wherever I was, he wasn't. The only time I saw him was at weekly RangeMan briefings, when he attended, and then I never got a chance to speak with him without an audience of Merry Men.
After a month of playing hide and seek with Ranger with no success, I sought out Tank for some insight.
Tank seemed uncomfortable with my questions and was as evasive as expected. He either didn't know why I was getting the cold shoulder from Ranger or he wasn't talking. He did assure me that everyone, including Ranger, was happy with my work. Apparently they were happy that I could contribute my female intuition and comic relief, 'cause my computer skills were hardly worth mentioning.
So, I left it at that. Batman and Robin weren't talking, so I was just going to keep my head down and do my work, go home to my lonely apartment and spend quality time with my shower massager.
Looks like I'm in for a long dry spell. Famine it is.