One day the trolls were sinning. Very badly. Eridan told them, "Hey! Stop that! It is not wwhat God wwants!"
"God? Who Is God?" Said Kanaya because she has the easiest typing quirk.
"God is bigger than the boogie man," Responded Eridan.
"IS HE GREATER THAN GOZILLA OR THE MONSTERS ON TV?" Asked Karkat.
"He is wwatching out for you and me," Eridan said as he placed a hand on Karkat's shoulders and stared meaningfully into his eyes not in a gay way because that is sinful.
Eridan pulled out a bible and began to recite it all from memory. The bible is only for show. He has the Lord's word in his heart.
"Wwhat you're doing right now is called 'sinning' and if you keep doing it you will go to hell," Said Eridan.
"i DON'T WANT TO GO TO HELL!" Said Tavros.
"You don't have to if you believe in God."
"Hooray!" They all shouted as they jumped in unison. High five!
And thus they began the first day of the rest of their lives as Christians.
Stay tuned for chapter 2, the prayer meet!