I Didn't Know!
A Dragon Ball Spamfic
By C-Dogg
As any Dragon Ball fan can tell you, Trunks is the son of Bulma
and Vegeta. There have been many stories written about how those
two got together. Sob stories, comedies, dramas, and even lemons.
But I've never seen any stories focusing on how Yamucha and Bulma
broke up. So I figured "Why don't I write one myself?" So without
a lot more ado, I present to you my product.
Disclaimer: To the owners of these characters, please don't sue me.
I have no money. Besides, my lawyer can beat up your lawyer.
* * *
3:00 P.M.
"Never again," he said. "Never again will I let any girl with
even so much as a blue highlight come near me."
Yamucha laid on his bed curled into a fetal position. The
phone rang. He didn't answer it. He was afraid of who might be
on the other end. Deftly afraid.
"I can't believe she did that to me. I'll never forget this day..."
* * *
8:00 A.M.
"What are you doing today?" Bulma asked Yamucha on the telephone.
"I didn't have anything planned," Yamucha answered. "Why?"
"Well, I was hoping you could take me to the mall."
"Sure. Is there anything that you planned on getting in particular?"
"Yeah. I'm choosing a birthday gift for my father and I need your
help. Then after that, you can help me pick out some lingerie for
myself," she told him in a sultry voice.
Yamucha's nose erupted in a gusher of blood. Puar rushed him
with handfuls of toilet paper.
"Pick me up at 11 o' clock," Bulma told him before adding, "And
please don't be late."
"Okay," said Yamucha in a nasal tone.
Yamucha had no idea that phone call would be the beginning of
the second worst day in his life, next to the day that the Saibaman
blew him up, of course.
* * *
8:03 A.M.
In the corner of a small studio apartment was a table with different
sorts of electronic recording equipment. At that table sat a sexy young
girl who wore nothing but a translucent red robe and a pair of black
thong panties. And a large pair of earphones. The girl removed the
earphones and cackled sinisterly.
"It's only a matter of time now before you're mine!" she said. The
girl got up from the table and laughed all the way to her room to change
into something more suitable.
* * *
9:05 A.M.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Puar went to answer the door and, after much work, finally managed
to open it. The door flew open and smashed Puar behind it.
"Who's at the door, Puar?" Yamucha called from his bedroom.
"It's me honey!"
"Bulma? I thought you wanted me to pick you up."
"I thought I'd surprise you!" she said in an impish tone.
"Hold on. I'll be right out." A minute later, Yamucha emerged
from his room and his jaw dropped down to the floor. His girlfriend
had bent over to pick up her conveniently dropped red purse. She showed
him just how tight her red skirt was. She also wore a black tube top.
"Hi Yamucha!" she greeted as she stood back up. Yamucha only waved
lightly in response. She giggled at him and helped him pick up his chin.
"Are you ready to go?" she asked with a kiss on the cheek.
Yamucha promptly snapped out of his trance.
"Sure, let's go!" The two of them left hand in hand. Yamucha closed
the door behind them and Puar fell from his dent in the wall.
* * *
11:30 A.M.
A woman stood at the sidewalk tapping her foot lightly. Take note
that this woman was super pissed.
* * *
12:45 P.M.
(Yes, the mall is that far away)
Yamucha and Bulma walked through the mall and stopped in front of
Victoria's Secret.
"Bulma, didn't you want to buy a gift for your father?" the
boy inquired.
"That can wait," she told him. "Right now I want to get something
for you!"
The biggest smile possible spread across Yamucha's face. Bulma
kissed him again. "Wait out here. I'll be right out."
* * *
12:50 P.M.
A pink motor scooter rolled into the mall parking lot. The rider
noticed a red car already parked in there and came to an abrupt
halt. She stepped off the scooter and pulled out a crowbar.
* * *
1:30 P.M.
Yamucha lay sprawled on a bench, bored out of his mind. "This
better be damn good if it takes this long," he said to himself.
"Were you talking to me?"
He opened his eyes to see Bulma standing over him. Yamucha
jumped up from the bench. "Oh, no. I was just mumbling to myself.
What did you buy?"
She gave him sly smirk. "I'm wearing it."
"Really? When can I see it?"
"Soon if you play your cards right. Now let's," Bulma looked
around casually and nearly had a heart attack.
"What's wrong?" Yamucha asked. He had never seen his girlfriend
act that way before.
Bulma grabbed his hand and began to rush through the crowd.
"Nothing! Let's go!" She led him to a door with a blue sign on
it and pushed him through it. She then locked the door behind them.
"Bulma, are you sure I should be in a woman's restroom?"
Yamucha asked. Bulma responded by kissing him hard on the lips.
She leaned him against a wall and bean to disrobe.
* * *
1:32 P.M.
A woman grabbed the doorknob for the women's restroom.
Much to her dismay, the door was locked.
"Well this has been one grand day. First my boyfriend stands
me up and now this." She pounded on the door. "Could you move
it along lady!"
"Go away! I'm busy!" a voice returned from inside.
The woman outside kicked open the door and gasped to see her
doppelganger sitting half-naked on top of her shirtless boyfriend.
"Yamucha?"
"Bulma? If you're there then this is..."
"Maron?"
"Oh $hit!"
"Yamucha, would you excuse us for a moment," Yamucha left the
bathroom and closed the door, still not quite sure what had
happened. He heard fighting and loud shrieks from within the room
followed by the sound of a flushing toilet and gurgling. Bulma
finally opened the door as she wiped a tiny bit of blood off of
her face with a paper towel.
"Where's Maron?" he inquired.
Bulma made a head motion toward one of the toilets. "Now it's
your turn!"
"But Bulma, I swear I didn't know!" Yamucha pleaded. Bulma grabbed
his throat, yanked him into the room, and slammed the door.
* * *
2:55 P.M.
A shattered, battered, and tattered red car pulled up in front
f the apartment. Yamucha crawled out and pulled his body through
the door. He crawled passed the still unconscious Puar and into
his bedroom where he curled up on his bed.
"Never again," he said. "Never again will I let any girl with
even so much as a blue highlight come near me." The phone rang. He
didn't answer it. He was afraid of who might be on the other end.
Deftly afraid.
"I can't believe she did that to me. I'll never forget this day.
Curse Kuririn and his damned exgirlfriend."
* * *
3:01 P.M.
Bulma slammed the receiver down. "Fine! If he doesn't want to
let me apologize then forget him! There are plenty of fish in the
sea!" She picked up the phone again and dialed a number. "Hi Kuririn.
What are you doing next Saturday?"
******************
Questions? Comments? (Intelligent) Flames? Praises? Shunnings?
Send them to bigc123485@aol.com or c_dogg@my-deja.com