Kim Possible and all characters belong to Disney. I just like to borrow them and poke them with spears. The spear-poking may turn them OOC at some points...that's just how these things work.

On with the show! And don't forget to leave a review if you like my story. Hell, leave a bad review or a flame if you hate my story because I don't even mind that.

01/17/11 - EDIT! SEE CHAPTER FOUR IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY THIS STORY WAS BUMPED! Long story short, I re-wrote it, fixed problems with it, and made it less embarassing for myself. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 1: A Bon-Diggety Dansah.

Ronald Stoppable, high school sophomore, fashionably-challenged dresser, and bottom-rung resident of the high school food chain strolled into the gym during cheer-squad practice, megaphone in hand.

Ron was hoping that today would be his lucky day.

Yesterday had not been one of the best days in Ron's recent memory. Rufus had temporarily gone missing; Mr. Barkin had given him extra homework seemingly out of spite alone; Drakken and Shego had made off with some giant Japanese toy factory, but not before almost killing him with a forklift, and Brittina and Miss Kyoko had both shot down his requests for a date to the upcoming Spirit Week Dance. Not that he had really expected either of them to say yes, but it was the icing on the cake.

Actually no, scratch that. The icing on the cake had been Kim telling him that not only would she not be going to the dance with him, as they always had in the past, but that she had every intention of asking Josh Mankey to take her to the dance.

And then she went completely ga-ga as soon as she saw Monkey.

Ron's jealousy was so thick you could've cut it with a knife.

But now, he was hoping to change all of that. Ron was nothing if not resilient and willing to go with the flow. He'd gotten over his flash of jealousy as quickly as it had occurred. He and Kim were just best buds, after all. If Kim wasn't going to attend the Spirit Week Dance with him, maybe one of the other cheerleaders would.

Ron raised the megaphone of unknown origin to his mouth and proceeded to interrupt the gyrations that were currently taking place, courtesy of Middleton High's varsity cheer squad.

"Attention ladies! It is I, Ron Stoppable! Contrary to popular belief, I am not dating Kim Possible! Which is good news for you, Josh Mankey!"

"Hey." was Mankey's emotionally-charged response.

"Oh no..." Kim didn't know whether to run away, try to hide, or to maybe just take Ron down with a few well placed kung-fu moves before he could embarrass her further. That last option would've been cruel and possibly injurious to Ron, but probably best for both of them in the end.

"There is a rare hole in my social calendar for this Friday. Please note that I am a bon-diggety dansah. A-thank you!" Ron bowed gracefully and exited stage left.

As he walked away, several of the girls, including Jessica, Tara, and Hope all began to giggle uncontrollably. Unfortunately for Ron, they weren't laughing with him, but at him. Shamelessly.

However, one of the girls was standing there with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Hey, Ron! Wait a second!" Ron, and everyone else turned to see where the voice had come from. It turned out that Liz, the headband-wearing other redhead of the squad, had called his name.

"Yeah, Liz?" asked Ron, eyes open a bit wider in surprise.

"I'll be your date this Friday."

"WHAT?" three different voices squawked out at once.

Ron was shocked that his ploy had actually worked. He'd expected to be laughed at at best, possibly assaulted in some way at worst.

Bonnie was both incredulous and enraged that a member of her squad was willing to do anything with Stoppable that didn't involve jabbing him with a sharp stick.

Kim was just plain shocked. Her expulsion had been the loudest of all, and a few of her fellow cheerleaders were eying her strangely.

"You mean it? You'll go to the dance with me?" Ron's 'smoove guy with a megaphone' persona had rapidly given way to 'slack-jawed-yokel', who was now stumbling for words, still completely flabbergasted that he would be taking one of Middleton High's cheerleaders to the dance.

"Yes, Ron. I'll go to the Spirit Week Dance with you."

"This isn't like a joke or anything? You're not planning to do something cruel and unusual to me later, are you?"

Ron did occasionally learn from past experiences.

"RON!" Liz was irritated now.

"What?"

"You keep that up and you won't have a date at all." she snapped.

"Gotcha. A-booyah! The Ronman has a date!" Ron did an amusing (to himself) little dance to celebrate before giving Liz his trademark dopey grin and waltzing off the floor to take a seat on the bleachers.

It was Bonnie's turn. "How can you go on a date with that...that...froob! He's totally at the bottom of the food chain! He's barely even on the food chain!"

"So what?" asked Liz.

"I can still hear you from over here, Bonnie." called Ron from the bleachers.

"Shut up, Stoppable!" snapped Bonnie before returning her attention to Liz. "What about your status on this squad? What about your reputation? What about your place on the food chain? You're going to throw it all away! On that...that...stupid lapdog of Kim's!" Bonnie was practically shrieking now.

"You mean my status as the beady-eyed girl in the background who never says anything?" asked Liz.

Nobody quite knew how to respond to that.

"You can't go to the dance with Stoppable, I refuse to allow it!" said an imperious Bonnie. "You're going to drag the whole squad down."

"You can't tell me what to do." Liz backed that up with an ice-cold gaze that had even Bonnie shivering.

"But, but but..." Bonnie stuttered.

"Look Bonnie, I don't have a date for this Friday, and neither does Ron. He asked, I said yes. What's there to understand?"

"But he's a total froob! And a LO-SER!" snapped Bonnie, tossing her head.

"So? He seems like a nice guy, and he's never been a jerk to any of us. It's not like I'm marrying him or something." Liz paused. "Hey Kim!"

Kim, who had been airing out her mouth and giving her jaw a rest on the gym floor, snapped to attention.

"Huh?"

"Ron's a good guy, right?" asked Liz with a small smile.

Kim's mind was racing. Ron? Date? Date? Ron? Liz? Cheerleader Liz? Date? MY RON? Ron and Liz on a date? Nonetheless, she was able to pull herself together just a little bit. "Oh yeah, Ron's just spankin'." she offered weakly, giving an equally weak thumbs up.

"See?" Liz asked Bonnie.

Meanwhile, Ron and Rufus were sitting on the bleachers, listening to everything the ladies had to say.

Ron turned to Rufus. "You know what, little buddy? I'll always be amazed by the way women can just talk about me like I'm not even there."

"Ugh! Whatever! Go on a date with the freak, see if I care." sniffed Bonnie. "Let's just get this stupid practice over with. KIM!"

Kim's head snapped around. "What, Bonnie?"

"We don't have all day, are you going to get practice going or not?" Bonnie glared at Kim with her hands on her hips.

"Oh..uh..right. Okay everybody, Dog-House Pyramid! From the top!" Kim clapped her hands to punctuate the order and the squad immediately got themselves into position.

The Dog-House Pyramid was wobbling like a fat man in an earthquake.

Bonnie was still fuming over Ron daring to ask the cheerleaders for dates, and at Liz for daring to actually accept his request...and then talk back to her! Just who did Liz think she was, anyway! It's like she thought for herself or something!

Kim's mind was awash in a sea of thoughts about Ron, Liz, and Josh Mankey, the guy who had been the center of her world to this point but was now being shoved slightly to the side in favor of visions of blonde hair and purple headbands.

Between Bonnie's and Kim's lack of attention, the pyramid was already an injury waiting to happen.

Then the Kimmunicator beeped. Ron pulled out his megaphone.

"Kim! It's for you!"

The Dog-House Pyramid went down like a house of cards at a chili-bean eating contest. "Waaaah!"

As the pyramid fell, Kim's desperate attempts to keep herself from crashing to the ground resulted in her desperately grabbing hold of Josh Mankey's lovingly-prepared banner for the upcoming Spirit Week Dance.

"Kim! Bonnie!" None of the girls were pleased about what had just happened. Especially Marcella, whose face was currently trapped under Tara's shapely rear end.

Ron handed the Kimmunicator to Kim. Wade's pudgy face was already on the screen. "Kim! Hot tip on the Nakasumi heist. Can you cut practice?"

Kim looked up at a very forlorn-looking Josh, before glancing over to Liz and then to Ron. "I'd rather be anywhere but here."

As Kim and Ron left, Tara, Marcella, Hope, and the rest of the other cheerleaders turned on Liz.

"You're really going to take Ron to the dance?" asked Tara in a seemingly shocked but not disapproving manner. "You're not planning to do anything mean to him, are you?"

Tara always did have a soft spot for the cheerful blonde.

"No! I'm not going to do anything mean to Ron!" snapped Liz. "We both need dates so we're going to the dance, what's so hard to figure out?"

"But why not a hottie like Jason Morgan or a cool guy like Josh." asked Hope quietly.

"Every girl who has ever gone out with Morgan said he was a gropey creep, and I'm not in the mood for date-rape, thank you very much. And I honestly have no idea what Kim and Bonnie see in Josh Mankey. The guy's about as masculine as Liberace and about as interesting as the paintbrushes he keeps in his pockets. And he keeps paintbrushes in his pockets! That's not cool, that's just weird!" replied Liz as she kept her voice down to make sure Josh, who was still sitting on his ladder at the opposite end of the gym, wouldn't hear.

"Yeah, and Froobable is just a total paragon of manliness. Chuck Norris has nothing on him." was Bonnie's snide remark. "And he keeps that freaky pink rat thing in his pocket, how is that better than paintbrushes?"

"I'm not saying Stoppable is the coolest guy in the world, but I'm pretty sure Josh spends more time fixing his hair than I do. And at least when Stoppable talks to that pet rat thing, he's talking to a living creature that sort of responds back. Josh talks to his paintbrushes like he expects a reply." was Liz's retort. "And at least Ron does that save-the-world thing with Kim. All Josh does is paint and yammer on about brush-strokes and what paintings 'say' to people."

Bonnie had no real comeback to that. "I still think you're making a big mistake." said Bonnie haughtily before she walked off. Without Kim, practice was effectively over anyway

Chapter 1. These chapters are going to be short. Because this is a short story. The next couple may be longer though. Of course, you'll figure that out, because I'm posting this story all at once.

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