Note: Supercorp will get together… but not at the beginning… so stay patient and thirsty my friends

I Can't Ignore the Way You Look at Me

Kara is perched on the edge of her seat at Noonan's. Her fingers are drumming out an inconsistent beat on the table. Her teeth are painfully biting at her bottom lip as she tries to do something to stop herself from drinking the third cup of coffee she ordered. Today is the day. She nods to herself and tries to calm herself down.

It works for a second because when she spots Lena's driver opening the door to her town car and offering his hand to help her step onto the sidewalk, her eyes travel up Lena's legs and she feels anxious all over again.

She swallows down the lump in her throat. Thinking that Alex probably lied when she told her that if she could beat villains her cousin could never take down, then surely asking someone out couldn't be tougher. Because Lena comes into Noonan's and the minute their eyes meet and her friend smiles at her, she knows that there's nothing harder than admitting her feelings.

Kara tries to wave back to her friend/crush but she's so frazzled that her knees hit the edge of the table and her cups of coffee go flying everywhere. As she's trying to steady the table she hears Lena laugh from across the room and her heart flutters. Lena smiles when their eyes meet again and even though she's blushing from the embarrassment her friend's eyes are soft and Kara thinks she can be brave today.

Lena points to the cash register and tilts her head to the side, Kara smiles and nods.

While she's gone, Kara smooths down her sweater and cleans up the mess she made. Needing to keep her hands busy to stop them from shaking.

Lena's name is called out and she makes her way to their table with a low chuckle. "Kara Danvers, graceful as ever." Kara blushes and pushes her glasses back onto her face. "Lena Luthor, always willing to rescue a friend in need of caffeine." Lena chuckles and hands her the warm cup. Their hands brush and just like that the nerves she was feeling before are multiplied. Her stomach is in knots.

"Well you know us Luthors, when we're not building a new hospital wing we like to give to the community by buying overpriced coffee." Kara laughs and when Lena smiles at her she knows that she would do anything for that smile.

"Thank you… but I didn't ask you here to get a hospital wing out of you…" Kara starts and Lena smiles fondly. "Of course not. Just the free coffee then?" Kara blushes and pushes air behind her ears, as if she forgot her hair was up today because of how nervous she is around Lena. "Well yes… that and I actually… I mean… I wanted to ask you… there's a bar and my sister." Lena laughs at her friend's rambling and Kara blushes. Maybe being brave at this whole feelings thing is harder than punching bad guys.

Taking a deep breath she tries again.

"I mean… there's this bar that my sister likes, and I think you'd like it too, so I guess I was wondering if you'd like to go there with me sometime? Like maybe this Friday night?" Lena smiles down at the table and nods. "Kara, of course I'll go out to this bar with you."

Kara's body floods with relief. Feeling lighter than she does when she's floating. "Great! I was so nervous to ask you out… I've been trying to figure out what kind of date you'd like, and I hope you like this bar… it's not too intimidating so I think it's perfect for something low key… unless you want something nicer… Oh golly you're probably used to expensive things like lobster dinners with champagne and —"

Lena frowns and shakes her head. Kara stops rambling and looks down at her hands. Feeling stupid because of course someone like Lena Luthor would want one of those restaurants that Cat Grant always went to. The ones with months on a waiting list and celebrities. She's about to take back the whole bar idea when Lena breaks the silence between them first.

"Kara… I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression about us… but my relationship with Veronica is monogamous."

Kara blushes at how stupid she feels. All this time, the looks, the touches. The staying late at the office to talk and hang out… she never realized that Lena wasn't single.

Lena is about to ask her friend what made her think that she would be open to dating her when Kara answers that very question as she's blushing and looking chastised. "I'm sorry… I didn't know you had a girlfriend... whenever we hung out and stuff you never mentioned Veronica… but I mean… of course someone as amazing as you wouldn't be single."

Lena stares at her friend in confusion before realization dawn upon her and it's her turn to feel embarrassed. In all the months that she'd been cultivating a friendship with Kara, she'd failed to mention her girlfriend.

"Oh."

"Yeah… sorry. I wouldn't have asked you out if I knew you were in a relationship…" Kara's shoulders slump and she wishes an earthquake would strike National City so that the earth could swallow her whole.

She googled Lena and Veronica's names together and she saw a picture of them at some fancy Luthor gala and her heart constricted. Veronica looked like the type of person who would ask Lena out on a proper date. Not some dingy bar. She was the type of person that belonged with someone like Lena Luthor. She felt herself shrink. "Some reporter I am… I never even thought about googling you, but here you guys are… first result and everything…" Kara says as she waves her phone in Lena's face.

"Kara, I…" Lena wants to apologize because now she can see why this misunderstanding happened in the first place. Her friend cuts her off. "It's fine, really. You guys look very happy together… Veronica seems like an incredible woman… I mean she has to be, right? She's with you."

Lena smiled at that. Relieved that even though she inadvertently led her friend on, Kara wasn't lashing out at her.

"Thank you for saying that, Kara. You're a good friend." Kara felt her heart break at the word 'friend.' She tried to smile at Lena and even though she knew it was clear that she wasn't okay, she appreciated that Lena didn't press her on it.

"You really are a very special person Lena and I'm glad that you still want to be friends. Because your friendship is very important to me… and don't worry, I'll get over myself."

"No, I—" Before she can continue Kara's phone starts vibrating and Alex's picture is flashing on the screen. "Sorry Lena, I have to take this… thanks for the coffee, I'll catch up with you later."

/

That night, as Lena sits in her apartment and pours herself a drink, she thinks back to the first couple of meetings she had with Kara Danvers. She didn't think much of the awkward and bumbling girl trailing behind the legendary Clark Kent. She was too worried about the disapproval she felt coming off in waves from him to take a second look at Kara.

It was when she was off again with Veronica. Or maybe they were on again. Lena doesn't really know. What she does know is that she failed to register how flustered she made Kara during these meetings. She didn't pick up on how much Kara liked her, even though looking back at some of their interactions before, she wonders how she could have missed all the signs.

She blamed Clark Kent. His midwestern charm and good looks that made her skin crawl. She knew it was an act. Not the whole being nice. He probably could be very pleasant, but he always seemed to ignore her whenever Lex was around. Barely acknowledging the fact that they knew each other until she could be used as a source for the story that would take her brother down.

Although she agreed that Lex needed to be stopped, she never liked how Clark Kent had turned out to be less genuine than she made him out to be. He was exactly like everyone else in her life. Unwilling to befriend her when they could have Lex's friendship. Only wanting to be near her when they thought she could give them something in return for a reluctant friendship.

Kara Danvers had been different.

Lena realizes that Kara had liked her from the beginning. Developing a crush since the day she teased her about not seeing her name on the by-line. But she'd never tried to cross the line. She was always her friend first.

She sighs and downs her glass.

Everything would have been so much easier if Kara didn't have these feelings for her… then again… she wonders why she never told her about Veronica. They'd been friends for months and she'd never brought her up. All the late nights when they gossiped. Falling asleep in Kara's apartment after a movie marathon… all the times they talked about their families and Veronica never once came up.

Even though it's a little too late to take it all back, Lena knows that she didn't tell Kara because deep down, even when she didn't let herself see it, she still liked being desired. Lena liked the idea of being with someone like Kara. Someone that was sweet and liked Lena for Lena. Not for the Luthor name or fortune. Her shoulders drop and she rubs her face with her hands.

"What a fucking mess."

She says aloud before pouring herself another drink.

/

The next time they meet for lunch it's so painfully awkward that Jess says something under her breath as Kara leaves.

Lena frowns and asks her to repeat herself a little louder. Jess' face turns a dark shade of red but she doesn't back down. She stares Lena right in the eyes and waits until the doors to the elevator close before she repeats herself.

"Like I tried to discreetly say to myself, poor girl, she not only has a crush on you but I'm guessing she stupidly said something to you while you were on again with Ms. Sinclair?"

Lena blushes.

Jess continues.

"I only say this because usually, when I interrupt your time with Ms. Danvers I'm shooed away like re-scheduling a meeting with investors from all over the world is as easy as getting you a coffee from the break room. But today I reminded you that you have lunch with your mother, a lunch that always ends with a call to your therapist, and suddenly you couldn't show her the door fast enough."

"Yes… well… I mean…" Lena tries to defend herself but comes off looking like a fish out of water with the way her lips can only seem to move up and down without any words coming out of them.

/

Lunch with her mother is as painful as it's always been.

Lillian is on her phone. Gossiping with a friend while they wait for their food to arrive. It had been like this since the limo ride over. Lillian had been texting and answering emails. Not looking up when Lena tried to engage her.

As soon as they sat down she ordered salads for them both and got on the phone with her friends once the waiter left.

Lena sighed and looked at the other tables longingly. Everyone else was engaged in conversation except her and her mother. Who could be a thousand miles away even when sitting across from her.

When the food arrived, Lillian put her phone down and criticized Lena's latest exploits. Not the ones she heard directly from her daughter, but from other board members or even the media. Lena could feel herself shrink into herself, wishing she was back in her office. Even when Kara was being awkward, it was only because she was trying to navigate that line between being friendly and acting too friendly with someone who was unavailable to reciprocate her feelings. It had been bad but not as bad as this.

She let her mother berate her up until the waiter comes back to pour them some more wine. With someone else near them, Lillian lets up, but Lena knows it won't last long. So, she goes onto the safest topic she knows: Veronica. The minute Lillian hears the other woman's name, her demeanor changes. Suddenly she's interested in Lena. Asking when Veronica is going to be back in town from her business trip, making plans to have dinner together and generally talking about how happy she is that Lena could find a woman like Veronica.

It hurts, to know that her mother only tolerates her being gay because she approves so much of her girlfriend. They always ran in the same circles, and even though she found tattoos trashy, Lillian didn't say one word about the ones Veronica flaunted during galas.

Lena tried to smile and pretend she shared her mother's excitement. But it felt empty. Like she was putting on a show and her mother didn't know her enough to catch onto it. She continued drinking her wine and pushing her salad around, so it didn't look like she'd lost her appetite halfway through their meal. Making the right noises or comments. Her phone vibrates in her purse. She ignores it. Knowing that only Lillian was allowed to be aloof during their time together.

Towards the end of their lunch, Lillian excuses herself to go to the bathroom, Lena takes her phone out and reads the texts from Kara. Apologizing for making things awkward between them and promising to work on being better about the whole thing. Lena bites her lip and looks around the restaurant before typing out a quick answer. Wanting to reassure her friend that it's fine.

Three glasses of wine in and she can be a bit honest with herself.

Lena admitted that she wasn't entirely honest about Veronica because she was flattered by the attention Kara gave her. It was selfish. Such a Luthor thing to do. But she couldn't stop herself from craving it. The reporter is sweet and genuine and so kind that Lena failed to mention her girlfriend because she liked being seen for who she was, who she wanted to be. No preconceived notions about her last name or expectations on what she should be doing next.

A part of her was afraid that once Kara found out she wasn't single; the attention would disappear and so would their friendship. She'd been down this path before. Where, without the possibility of more, people would drop off her life. Men and women have lost interest in her once they realized they wouldn't move beyond a certain point with her. She wouldn't be a conquest or a connection or even someone who would shower them with lavish gifts just for saying hi to her. The minute Kara figured out Lena wasn't single, she didn't lash out, she apologized, said she wanted to be friends because Lena was important and even though she could see how much it pained the reporter to be her friend while she was still crushing on her, she didn't stop being the same person she was when they met.

Her mother returned while she was thinking about this and she sounded concerned. "Don't tell me Veronica is cancelling on us." Lena looked up and shook her head. "No, it's not her. We're fine. She's fine... It's Kara… Kara Danvers… she's a friend, she was just apologizing for something she said earlier." Lillian's face went through a transformation that Lena couldn't understand until it settled on anger. An emotion she was familiar with.

"What did she say? I can get Kitty to fire her… you know that her mother and I go way back. Kitty may not be an accomplished writer like her, but she still runs that little magazine and I'm sure I can—" Lena shook her head and laughed. It felt odd that her mother was trying to defend her against someone like Kara when she always took everyone else's side before she would back Lena up. "No, it's nothing like that, mother. Just, she confessed she had feeling for me and I told her I didn't reciprocate so she was apologizing for making me feel uncomfortable."

"Honey, it's not your fault. You're stunning. Of course, women would throw themselves at you… but you did the right thing by telling me… don't worry, mommy is here and she's going to take care of this thing." Lillian held her chin up and Lena felt a surge of affection flood through her. Maybe that's why she didn't flinch at the vitriol Lillian injected into her sentence when she said the word 'thing.' Lena wouldn't understand what her mother was talking about until months later. In that moment she took the care Lillian was giving to her for the first time and forgot about how everything in her household came tied with strings. Lena was so desperate for her mother's love and approval that she smiled and nodded. Liking the idea that this could always be them. Pretending, for a moment, that her mother had always cared for her.

"Thank you, mother, for taking care of everything."

"Of course, honey, I love you."

Lena knew she was lying, because Lillian didn't love her, but the wine in her veins made her heart foolishly hope for this to be real.

/

The night Supergirl disappear, she was meant to backup the NCPD in their pursuit of Guardian. She was midflight when a frequency hit her full force and made her ears bleed. She held her head as she felt her body heal her burst eardrums and a voice greeted her.

"Hello Kryptonian."

"Cadmus."

"Got it in one." The smug voice replied. "And do you know why we call ourselves that? Cadmus was the very first Greek hero."

"If you think you're a hero, you're crazier than I thought." Kara replied. Appalled that this woman believed herself to be a hero when she was doing horrible things to off-worlders like herself.

"I'm inviting you over. We already have a guest waiting for you. Your Daxamite friend. But if you tell anyone where you're headed, he dies. If you refuse to come, he dies. Come to me Supergirl. But I should warn you. In the myths, Cadmus was really only famous for one thing. He killed monsters."

Supergirl didn't stop to think about herself. She knew how Mon-El felt. Scared and alone in a world that was overwhelming. She couldn't do that to someone else. Abandon them. No matter how much he got on her nerves, he deserved to be saved. He deserved another chance to continue to grow into a better person. Maybe he couldn't be a hero like her, but he could start over in a planet that saved so many aliens like her. Aliens without a home to go back to. Untethered to the worlds that birthed them.

She flies straight into danger, knowing it was a trap, because Supergirl knew that no one deserved to feel scared.

Breaking through the window and bracing herself against the ground, she takes a minute to get her bearings. She hopes she made the right choice.

/

Kara doesn't know how long her and Mon-El have been down here. Time is a hard concept to tell without being able to see a clock or the days go by with the setting and rising of the sun.

They don't get much food or water. She feels weak, but she refuses to give up hope. Her sister knows she's missing. If she can't figure something out on her own, Alex will find her, she always does.

/

It's been a couple of days and Lena hasn't heard back from Kara. She's sent her text messages and left her voice mails but nothing.

Radio silence and she understands that Kara was just like the others.

She's looking out the window, feeling sorry for herself, when the doors to her office burst open.

"Where is she?"

Lena turns around, ready to face her attacker when she sees a distraught Alex Danvers looking around the room. Comically searching behind her desk and underneath the pillows of her couch.

"Where is who, Agent?" Lena asks while trying to regain her composure. They're at odds. The calmer she feels the more the woman in front of her seems to be unraveling with each passing second.

"My sister. Her apartment is empty, untouched in days. She hasn't reported into work… her phone just goes to voicemail…she was supposed to help out a friend… but she never showed up… and that's not like her. It's not like her at all." Her shoulders drop with disappointment. "I'm sorry that I burst in here but… she just talks about you so much and I know it's stupid but I hoped that she was safe and happy because she was with you… I knew it was a long-shot, but I had to try… I need to find my sister."

Lena's heart drops. She feels stupid and guilty at not having noticed that her friend was missing. She wasn't being blow off because she couldn't give Kara what she wanted. Her friend was missing and in danger and all she could do was drink and feel sorry for herself.

"Don't worry Agent. I'll have some of my people find her." She tried to reassure Alex, who scoffed.

"I work for a federal agency and I haven't been able to find her. What makes you think your people will?" She asked petulantly.

"Precisely because you work for an agency… my people don't have such trivial constraints as following the law and respecting people's constitutional rights… I know it's not going to be entirely on the up-and-up, but I really want to find my friend." Alex nods and grabs one of her pads of paper off her desk. "Thank you… here, if you find anything, let me know. I don't care what time. Just call me." Lena takes the paper and nods.

/

The door opens and instead of one of their captors throwing water at them or bits of food against the bars of their cells, it's a woman. She's tall and dangerous. It thrums beneath her skin. Like an animal, waiting to be let out. She is so dangerous, but her eyes are so familiar that Kara feels herself suffocating with the knowledge of why she feels like she could fall in love with eyes like those.

"I've seen you before. In Lena Luthor's office. What were you doing there?" Supergirl asks, afraid of hearing the answer she already knows.

"I might ask you the same. I don't like the idea of you around my daughter."

"You're Lillian Luthor. Lex and Lena's mother."

"I'm a lot of things Ms. Danvers. A doctor, a patriot, a mother…"

Kara swallows down the bile she feels rising up in her throat. A woman as dangerous as Lillian Luthor knows her identity and now here she was, at her mercy. She knew she shouldn't anger her, but she couldn't help herself. She hated the woman standing before her for how she treated her daughter. For how dismissive she was of her. "A liar, a kidnapper, a killer. Does Lena know about Cadmus? Does she know who her mother really is?"

"And what are you to my daughter?" Lillian asks, low and dangerous.

"I'm a friend." She answers honestly.

"I've heard that before. Years ago, Superman came to my son, Lex, and promised him the world. A new dawn for mankind. Lex believed him, poor thing. And then he watched as your kinsman infected this country with his propaganda, as his power became unchecked. And when Lex tried to take that power back, Superman convinced the world that Lex was evil." Lillian was circling her cage. Barely able to contain her anger. Even while having the upper hand.

"My darling boy. My genius son. An actual Superman behind bars for life. Because you and your kind will stop at nothing to poison the Earth. To take my children from me… I know all about you and your perverted attentions… how you tried to seduce my daughter… without realizing that I would always come to my children's aid… even with Lena being a disappointment, she is still a Luthor and you are still a danger to her. She may not see you for what you truly are, but I do. And you need to be stopped."

Kara is hurt but she can't let Lillian know how much she got to her. Instead, she continues to goad her on. "You're out of your mind."

"We'll agree to disagree." Lillian says, as if she had won the argument.

"So, what am I doing here?" Kara asks. Curious as to what Lillian plans to do to her for having a crush on her daughter while being an alien.

"I need something from you. I need you to be human for a little while." She finally admits. "I know from your fight with Red Tornado, when you expel enough of your heat vision, you deplete the solar radiation in your cells, leaving you as helpless as any mere mortal." This is where Kara notices Hank Henshaw enter the room. Carrying a visor looking device. Lillian points to it and waves him forward. "I've designed this helmet to absorb the radiation."

"You want me to solar flare?" Kara asks. Not understanding why Lillian wants her to be powerless but afraid of what the woman plans to do with her. "That's never gonna happen."

Lillian smiles. As if Kara played right into her game, even while she refused to give in. "I can't hurt you. But I can hurt him." She calmly walks over to one of her many armed body guards, takes his gun from his holster and shoots at Mon-El, who quickly drops to the ground in his cell as he shouts in pain.

Kara screams his name out and tries to reach through the bars for a way to help him. But the Nth metal refuses to budge, as it had before.

"Now we've been studying your friend. He's powerful, but has a very bad lead allergy." Lillian smiles coyly at her. Knowing she already won but wanting to rub it in Supergirl's face that she has always had the upper hand. "Say you'll do it and I'll let him live."

Kara shakes her head, she can't give Lillian what she wants.

"Or I could just put one in his heart right now." She takes aim and Kara wants to cry.

"No! Okay, Okay! I'll do it. Stop!" She agrees. She can't let an innocent life be taken.

Mon-El chooses this moment to try being heroic for once. "Please. Don't." He asks. Even while feeling light headed.

"I'm not gonna let you die." She reassures him.

She walks towards the front of the cage and asks for the helmet. Hoping that Lillian will keep her promise and let Mon-El live. That she's important enough to keep alive until she can be rescued. But understanding that this could be the last thing she does. She looks at Lillian's eyes and for a moment pictures Lena and sends a small prayer to Rao to take care of her friend before she solar flares.

/

It's been over a week and Lena is unraveling.

She sent someone out to Midvale and Metropolis, desperate for any kind of lead. She wanted to know if Kara was out hiding among family. She didn't know her cousin's name in Metropolis, but she remembered mentioning he was living in that part of the country. Alex had called her as soon as her mom pepper sprayed the man she had sent to follow her and told her that although she was happy that Lena was committed to finding her sister, she should trust Alex enough to have checked with their mom first.

She apologized and told her she was frustrated with having found nothing but a cold trail.

It had gotten to the point where even Veronica couldn't ignore how on edge she's been.

After a while Lena admits that she's been stressed out and could use a break. Veronica smiles and suggests that she attend one of her masquerade nights. Lena wants to say no. She thinks MMA and all those sports with guys giving each other brain damage for the benefit of the rich are barbaric, but she's weak and eager to please Veronica. So, she readily agrees.

Lena is wearing an exquisite dress that shows off her shoulders and pretends she can't see beyond the masks.

National City's wealthiest citizens are all there. Heads of banks, hedge fund managers, city councilmembers, board members to LCorp and at the center of it all, her mother.

The only one who she doesn't see is the person she came here with. Until the music dies, and she hears an ominous voice through the sound system.

"They came from beyond the stars, across the vastness of space. Light years. Parsecs. Infinite distance." Veronica says. Forgoing a mask altogether. She has two of her bodyguards help her off the red carpet she walked in through. Never breaking her stride or her spiel.

"And why? Did they come to invade? No." Veronica makes her way through the crowd. Captivating the audience. "Or did they come in peace? Neither. They came to entertain."

"There are no rules in my cage tonight. No laws. Every fighter knows the risks and they are here for you." Her back is to the cage. Cheers and applause can be heard throughout the crowd. Lena feels sick.

"Tonight, it's triple stakes, everybody. Because we've got the killer Brevakk himself… Quill! And he'll be facing M'gann M'orzz." As her girlfriend continues to talk, the whole place seems to grow restless. Bets are placed and Lena is sure she's going to collapse. She needs to get out of here.

Her mother's hand touches her forearm, grounding her.

"Don't worry honey, this isn't even the best part… Supergirl is also here to fight… and once she's defeated, she won't give you any more problems." Lena feels bile rise in her throat. Her head is spinning, and the room feels like it's closing in on her.

/

The last round is near, and Veronica smiles coyly at the crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have an unexpected and new main event for you tonight. Something very special."

A door opens and Supergirl comes stumbling forward. The room explodes with excitement as everyone realizes who will be fighting. People run to place bets. Heavily favoring Supergirl. National City's darling champion.

"The Girl of Steel, the Maid of Might, the last Kryptonian female herself, Supergirl!"

The crowd looks delighted and Lena wants to run away because before she could pretend the other fighters wanted to be there. With Supergirl there, the last piece slotted into place. Now she knew why her mother adored Veronica Sinclair. They were one and the same. They both valued alien life so little that ideologically they understood each other in a way that had left her isolated from her family.

Once the bets are in and the fight begins, Supergirl starts trying to reason with Draaga.

Veronica returns and kisses Lillian's cheek in greeting. Lena hears how her mother whispers a question and Veronica smiles in response.

Lena wants to know what is happening when the whole place seems to shake. Supergirl is thrown against the wall and struggles to remain upright.

Before it can get too out of hand, there's a scuffle and shots are fired in the air. "POLICE!" a woman shouts with authority. Everyone scrambles in different directions.

Lena wants to go help Supergirl but her mother pushes her back towards the secret entrance they came in through. There's blood all around Supergirl and her eyes are unfocused. She looks toward Lena and for a second her eyes soften in such a way that Lena feels it like a punch to the gut. It's the same look Kara gives her. Supergirl shakes her head, as if trying to determine if what she saw was real, in a cowardly act Lena lets herself be led further into the crowd.

If that wasn't enough proof that Supergirl and Kara are one and the same, Alex Danvers makes her way towards the stage. Gun in hand, shooting at the field with no success. Then she aims at the generators powering the electricity and she doesn't stop. Even when she had witnessed how Draaga had pummeled Supergirl, she's fearless.

Her heart constricts as she's running away. Veronica is holding her hand, walking confidently as she reassures her men that they all made off with a big payday because at the end of the day, the Girl of Steel still lost. And her mother is close at her heels, congratulating Veronica on being able to make use of such a great opportunity and for helping her take care of her little problem.

All Lena can do is hope Kara is still alive. And that her friend didn't recognize her behind the mask. That the universe would grant her this one mercy.

Author's note: this fic wouldn't leave my head so I had to write it. I hope that when it's out of my brain I can get back to my historical fiction AUs.