Disclaimer: I do not own the Dresden Files.
I recently encountered a writing challenge, which I thought I'd respond to:
React to the following scene. You are Harry, about to face off against a Velociraptor in a McDonalds. In one to three paragraphs, detail what happens. You must kill the Velociraptor by dispatching it in a Harry-quality manner (e.g. frozen turkey from the sky, zombie T-rex, "Fuck subtle", etc).
In my defense, I was pretty sure I was dreaming at the time.
Last thing I clearly remembered as definitely being awake, the Alphas were helping me home before I fell unconscious or the cops showed up, after I blasted a magical rampaging psycho elephant which some total nutjob unleashed on the circus. You don't want to know. Really, you don't. Anyways, the Alphas, who'd come to the circus with me on the grounds that they had nothing better to do, had held their own pretty well, while I had been smacked on the noggin by the crazy elephant more than I thought was my fair share. I know, there's no justice.
So on the way back to my apartment, they decided it'd be a... friendly gesture to bring me to get food, and I think this is the part where I fell unconscious and stopped contributing, because otherwise we'd have been at the Burger King across the street. I came to in the booth, with a burger, fries, and a drink in front of me, with the cheerful McDonalds wrapping paper assaulting my eyes, and screams assaulting my ears. Billy, across from me, was taking off his shirt, and I'm fairly certain that the combination of a stripping Billy, a present velociraptor, and me in a McDonalds convinced me it was all a nightmare. I don't like nightmares. Really don't like them. At all. And, as a well trained wizard, I know exactly how to deal with nightmares. It's quite similar to how I solve many of my problems, namely taking my ire and slapping an 'F' on the front of it.
I stood straight up, still swaying from the head injury, pointed my staff at the grills in the back, then swung it to point at the dinosaur while drawing on my power and shouting "Fuego!" Huge balls of fire leapt from the back, and incinerated the creature, leaving the meat on the grills suddenly frozen again. I know, probably not the best or subtle of ways to handle things, and the Alphas probably could have dealt with it, but it got the job done really quickly, practically instantly, and I thought I was asleep at the time, so sue me. Not that that's an invitation. I still haven't been paid for the elephant.