My first real shot at writing a love scene. That's what this really is- a romantic one-shot from Adrian's p.o.v. Rated R just to be on the safe side. As always, Adrian and Colleen are the property of Y&R. Hope you enjoy!

"Last Breath"

By Seras Serenity

"Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it."

-Woody Allen

The only light comes from the neon glow of the motel sign.

I step out of the car, stretching the muscles in my legs after the forty-five minute drive. Hearing something, I turn around, my eyes nervously scanning the area. The current situation has me on high alert, my nerves on edge. But the parking lot is empty, save for an old Chevy parked several spots over. Everything is silent except the rapid thundering of my pulse in anticipation.

It's one of those cheap out-door motels, but I'm definitely not here for the rest. In the flickering neon light, I look for the door that has #5 on it. Spotting it two doors to the right, my steps are silent as I take quick steps to stand in front of it. Raising my hand to knock, I hesitate, my gut clenching. It seems to happen whenever I see Colleen. She has the ability to ensnare my senses on multiple levels- the scent of her skin, the taste of her lips, the look of tempestuous beauty. My entire world narrows to her.

I knock once, softly, knowing she'll hear it. Knowing she's been waiting- we've both been waiting.

There's movement behind the door, and I hear the lock unlatch, and suddenly, she's in front of me. The woman I've dreamt of for nearly a week straight, and she's here, in the flesh. Her eyes are the diary her heart's been keeping, and for a moment, I can see everything written in them- the lust, the longing….the love. I reach for her and close the door behind us, eager to be alone with her for the first time in….God, how long has it been? Too long.

Catching her by the waist, I touch my forehead to hers. In that moment, I can't read her mind, but I can definitely read her body, and she quivers beneath my touch, boldly communicating what she's been waiting for, what she wants. Right now, all I can think of is being with her in every way possible for as long as this night lasts. When the morning sun touches this place, it will not find us here. We meet in darkness and under the shroud of secrecy, the night concealing what we are forced to hide during the day, and away from prying eyes and judgment.

My mouth claims hers with a mixture of desire and urgency, crushing her lips like soft petals, yet I know that for all the softness her body offers, there is steel in her spirit. She places her hands on either side of my face, nipping at my lip. I grin and sweep my leg under her feet. With a surprised yelp, she falls back onto the bed we somehow reached, and I plant my hands on either side of her body. Her laughter fills the room.

Pulling me down on top of her, I'm lost in sensation as she runs her hands through my hair, electrifying the nerves there. Pushing her head to the side, I trace fiery trails with my lips down the hollow of her neck.

I am thief stealing time with her, but as I cradle her body against mine, I'm not sorry. I will never regret loving her. I pull Colleen against me, trying to touch every part of her, physical and otherwise, desperate to maintain the connection that we have.

Warm, smooth, intoxicating- she's like a heady wine and I'm under her influence.

Colleen looks at me, and her lips turn up into a sweet smile, while her eyes speak to me in a language only I can understand. Reading the message there like a secret love letter meant for me alone, I see her passion, her need, her tenderness- and her desperation. I reach down and bury my face in her hair, filling my lungs with her scent. And I hold my breath, willing to keep it inside me- to keep Colleen inside me.

When I was almost five, I spent a lot of time playing at a nearby lake. One day a friend and I were rough-housing, and he pushed my head under the water. I'll never forget that- the sensation of not being able to breathe. Of struggling to bring my face to the surface, to suck in a breath before he plunged me back into the icy darkness. Desperately sucking in oxygen to fortify my lungs, not knowing the next time I would be able to breathe….not knowing if there would even be a next time.

That's exactly how I feel about Colleen and this moment.

Suddenly, I feel her hands beginning to unbuckle the belt at my waist and I gasp, forced to begin breathing again. She holds the belt up triumphantly, as if disrobing is a contest and she's won the trophy. My laughter mingles with hers, and she pushes off my blazer. Then her experienced fingers begin on the buttons of my shirt. It takes a few moments, and I wonder which of us is more frustrated by them, her or me. With the last one, I shrug out of the shirt and let it fall to the floor along with my reservations and frustration.

She reaches for the next barrier between us, but I stop her as she begins unzipping my pants. This won't do-I shake my head. Colleen stops, but she bites her lower lip in an endearing pout that makes me want to kiss her senseless. Instead, I catch her lips between my teeth and tenderly nip at them. Her soft sigh of pleasure reminds me what I'd been about to do. I look into her eyes, communicating in no uncertain terms - 'my turn.'

I bring my face only inches from hers, until I can feel her breath. Closing my eyes, I lose myself in the hypnotic sensation of her breath brushing over me- warm and steady. Sharing such a simple but important act such as breathing is somehow incredibly profound to me. And it reminds me of how, for some reason, it's much harder when I'm not with her.

I reach up to cup her face between my hands. Her body is a temple to me- magnificent, mysterious, beautiful. My lips pay homage to her, and I draw them gently across her forehead, then move to kiss each of her eyelids. Her soft cries are all the encouragement I need to continue my journey.

As my lips roam her neck on a determined path, my hands slowly slide down her arms, my fingertips catching the edge of her shirt. For a moment, I let my hands touch the warm flesh beneath, then push the fabric off her torso. After a few moments and slight repositioning, her shirt joins mine on the floor. But by removing one article of clothing, it's as if I've removed all our inhibitions, and our desperation rises to the fore.

Collarbone, shoulder, stomach, knees, ankles…..when my lips reach the end of their pilgrimage, Colleen is gloriously bare. I sit back, letting my eyes greedily drink her in. She's so beautiful- the way she her eyes become more blue when she smiles, the way her hair catches the light, and how she can lift my spirits on the airs of her laughter.

She's also the only woman who's managed to coax a poem out of me dedicated to the endearing nature of her ankles- I even have the scotch-stained napkin it's scribbled on to prove it.

My eyes seek hers- it has become a ritual for us, this silent exchange. Sometimes I ask and she answers, and sometimes the invitation she seeks is mine. I read it now in warm tides that wash over me in green and blue, and I move to cover her body with mine.

I move my body with Colleen's to the rhythm that is pounding in my veins. With each thrust, I feel myself growing closer to touching the secret place inside her. The place in her heart and soul that bear my name and know my touch alone. My body, my mind, my soul- all that I am is centered in this moment. Moving against her, touching her, skin to skin- it's the panacea that cures my soul of the ills of the world. I never want it to end.

But it does.

Holding each other in the darkness of a cheap hotel room, catching our breath, reality begins to creep in, tainting the moment. I pull the covers over us in an attempt to ward off the chill that has nothing to do with the temperature but everything with what's to come. More than anything, I want to stay like this- I want to stay inside Colleen, to hold her close to me and greet the morning together.

But we won't.

Nothing and everything has changed since the first time we made love together during the ice storm. The lust has developed into love. But while she is no longer with J.T., the bondage remains, merely changing. Duty, taboo, my job, her education….all of it is one more link in the chain that keeps us from being together openly.

Back then I watched her leave with J.T.- today I will watch her leave with the sun, taking with her all the warmth and light I have come to know.

We get dressed in silence, passing small smiles and articles of clothing to one another. I know in my heart that it's only a matter of time, that this secrecy won't always be necessary. That Colleen and I will one day have our feast of freedom rather than the famine that is stolen moments we sustain ourselves with now. But the knowing does little to ease the ache inside me.

I pull Colleen into my arms, again committing to memory the feel of her, of every curve. Then I press my lips to hers in a promise. I am not a man to make them lightly, because I do everything in my power to keep them. Looking into her eyes, I know she will hold me to it- I will make sure that she does.

I take one last look at Colleen before she leaves- before we go back to the lives we've cast aside and pretenses we've abandoned. In this moment of transition, I hold her. I don't know when I will be able to do so again; it could be tomorrow, or maybe a few days. In the face of the unknown, I give into the irrational impulse and do the only thing I can think of.

I take one last breath and hold it.

For this one-shot, I have to thank Imogen Heap for her musical inspiration- and MaiTaiPencils' amazing first person p.o.v. fic, "All We Ever Find"- sometimes the best inspiration can come from someone who raises the bar on all your expectations.