A/N: Don't even ask what the heck is this story. I'm writing this at 11 PM where I live and I'm really tired. I don't even know what I'm doing. Just enjoy this almost-sitcom of Midoriya and Kirishima acting like idiots.
"Ah... ah... a-choooo!"
And so, along the sound of a loud sneeze came a tremendous noise of a green haired boy hitting the ceiling.
Izuku Midoriya abruptly landed with his face on his now messy bed after falling down from the ceiling. Scared due to his sudden awakening from his deep sleep, the green haired boy quickly recovered as he raised his head and glanced at where he was: his bedroom at U.A. Posters and toys of All Might could be seen almost everywhere, a desk featuring plenty of notebooks was in desperate need of organization and the curtains were closed.
Midoriya could say that his bedroom was the same as it always was, with no crucial changes. That is, until he noticed that the ceiling was smashed, and the mark of his own silhouette was right up there as well.
"W-what is… what is that?" Izuku quietly said to himself, as he started to sweat. He had barely wakened up, yet panic was already there, slowly consuming him.
The boy left his bed as he stood up, still looking at the ceiling with a frightened look. His mind ran through lots of thoughts: how in the world did he end up there, after all? Midoriya was sleeping seconds ago, and then he woke up as he was falling from his ceiling. That's certainly not the best way to wake up in a test poor boy thought that things couldn't get worse than that, until he heard the door banging.
"Hey, Midoriya!" The voice of Kirishima yelled. "Is everything OK?"
"Oh no…" Midoriya thought. "How am I going to explain this to Kirishima and the others?!"
Still wearing his All Might-themed pajamas, Izuku walked to his bedroom's entrance and lightly opened the door. The green haired boy had to cover his face for some seconds due to the light of the hallway promptly invading the room, making his eyes a little hurt as they were still sleepy. Upon lowering his hands, he was met with a confused look on Kirishima's face.
"Uhm… should I be seeing this?" The red-haired boy, who was wearing pajamas, honestly asked.
"Seeing what?" Izuku questioned as he looked back and forth, worried that his friend would notice the condition of his ceiling.
"I'm talking about your pajamas."
"W-what do you mean? You're also wearing pajamas."
"But not an All Might-themed one. Your obsession on All Might is cute… but it creeps me out sometimes."
Midoriya frowned at first as he did not understand what Kirishima meant, until he looked to his own pajamas. With a blush rising on his face, he averted his eyes from his friend.
"W-wh-why did you come here, Kirishima?" The green haired boy nervously asked.
"Oh, yeah!" Eijiro's eyes lighten up for a second. Looks like he got distracted for a moment. "Uhm, what happened in your bedroom?"
The blush in Midoriya's face was gone, and he looked to his friend once again, now in doubt.
"What do you mean with 'what happened in my bedroom'?"
"Well…" The red-haired boy sighed before speaking. "I woke up to a noise, I mean, two noises. And I mean big noises. The first one was of a strong sneeze and the other of a… I don't know, a bed breaking?"
Izuku gulped after hearing those words.
"Besides…" Kirishima continued. "Who the hell would be waken up at this time?"
"At this time?" Midoriya asked. "Wait, what time is it?"
"Dude, it's 3:45!"
"PM or AM?"
"Why are you even asking that?! Of course it's AM!"
"I-I'm sorry!" Izuku cried. "I'm just worried about Aizawa's test today! B-besides, I've just waken up, I'm still sleepy and confused!"
"Whoa, whoa, wait a second. Why would you be worried about losing a test? You're one of the smartest guys in our class!" Kirishima affirmed. Slowly, the boy started to realize that something serious happened to Midoriya.
Izuku Midoriya, getting increasingly nervous with the situation, looked back to his smashed ceiling. He wondered if he should tell Kirishima about what happened. After all, the green haired boy did need help on what he should do. However, could Eijiro actually do something about it?
Midoriya looked back to his friend, who now had a serious yet kind look on his face than before.
"Midoriya, if you're not against it, could you tell me what's happening?" Kirishima asked.
"K-Kirishima…" Midoriya stuttered. "I-I don't know if I should tell you…"
"Why not?"
"Because it's… it's…" Suddenly, the will to sneeze once again came in to Midoriya. "Ah… ah…"
Meanwhile, Kirishima at last came in to a conclusion on what was happening with his class colleague.
"Oh… I get it, Midoriya. Look, it might seem abnormal for you at first, but you'll get used to it. See, it's common for a man to be sleeping and then suddenly wake up ejac-"
"Achoooooo!"
After sneezing once again, Izuku was launched to his curtain and hit the window, provoking another immense noise. Meanwhile, Kirishima didn't have any time to react and he was thrown to the hallway's wall, cracking the wall. It didn't take much long for the red-haired boy to open his eyes and see where Midoriya landed. He stood up and rushed to his room, and he was met with a giant mess probably caused by the green haired boy's strong sneeze: papers were scattered everywhere, the bed's sheet was laying on the ground along with the table and the chair and the curtains were now broken.
Slowly, Izuku opened his eyes and cleaned his nose from the liquid coming out of his nasal orifice. As he looked to Kirishima, once again blushing, he simply said:
"I need your help, man."
Kirishima, with a confused look on his face, replied:
"Alright… so the problem isn't teenagehood."
Later that night…
"Wait, wait, wait." Kirishima's brain tried to process the information he had just heard from Midoriya. "Let me get this right: you still don't know how to fully control your quirk. Because of that, every time you sneeze due to the probable cold you got, you accidentally use your quirk and create what you call as a 'plus-ultra sneeze'."
"I-I guess so." Izuku replied.
It was now 4:00 AM. Izuku Midoriya was sitting on his bed, holding a tissue right under his nose. His friend Kirishima was sitting on his now-tidy chair, right near the also tidy table. For the last fifteen minutes, the two boys made their best to arrange the bedroom after the chaos made by Midoriya's plus-ultra sneeze. Unfortunately, their hard-work still wasn't enough. They couldn't fix the curtains, and they had no idea on what to do with the cracked wall on the hallway and the smashed ceiling. Time was running out for them as well, since they would have their test at 7:30 AM.
"Man, I should have never left my bed." Kirishima sighed.
"I-I'm sorry for bothering you, Kiri…" Izuku said, ashamed of himself.
"Don't worry about it, Midoriya. Things would probably be worse if I wasn't here to help you."
"Y-you think I-I couldn't handle this by myself?"
"Knowing you, you would be freaking out for about an hour before doing something about it."
"T-that's rude! B-but fair enough…"
"At least you're brave enough admit it."
"Yeah… a-a… a…"
"No, no, no, not again!"
As Izuku got ready to do the plus-ultra sneeze for the third time, Eijiro quickly stood up and held Midoriya's arms while he activated his hardening quirk, enhancing his strength so he could hold his friend after he sneezes.
"Achooooo!"
The green haired boy's plus-ultra sneeze not only destroyed his tissue and made it into dust but it also pushed Kirishima onto the ground. However, since he was holding Midoriya's arms, the latter also got dragged down with him. They broke the bedroom's table and chair apart as they fell, but those objects had lessened the impact's effects, thus not smashing or cracking the ground. Now, Izuku found himself on top of Kirishima in an awkward manner, as they were facing each other.
"T-thanks, man." Izuku said, heavily breathing.
"Y-you're welcome." Eijiro replied, blushing. "N-now, could you get off me? I-it's starting to look weird…"
Unfortunately, before the young Midoriya could do anything else, he was taken aback by the sound of someone's voice in the hallway.
"It's literally 4:00 AM and I just want to sleep in peace! Instead, I just wake up to the sound of whom? Of Midoriya screwing around, of course!" A thin voice exclaimed in the hallway, as it got closer to Izuku's bedroom. "This… this son of a good mom could at least lower it down, but no, he has to wake me up even though we sleep far, far away from each other!"
The door suddenly opened, and there in the hallway was no one other than everyone's (not really) favorite student in class: Minoru Mineta. He busted into the bedroom with an anger never seen before. If Kirishima could say something right now, he'd say that Mineta was looking like a mix of Bakugou with a purple Bart Simpson.
"If could at least lower down the freakin' volume, Izuku, I would gladly-" Mineta stopped complaining when he saw Midoriya on top of Kirishima. His eyes widened as he saw that unexpected scene.
Immediately, Kirishima and Midoriya said at the same time:
"This is not what it looks like!" Kirishima said.
"T-this is totally what it looks like!" Midoriya said.
"What are you even talking about, Midoriya?"
"U-uhm, I-I just assumed that Mineta would look at the destroyed table, chair, curtains, the smashed ceiling and the cracked wall and h-he would assume that I'm having a problem with my quirk and I needed help-" Izuku said as he got totally nervous.
"How the heck would Mineta put all these pieces together, Midoriya?!"
"F-forget about it… I-I'm just going t-to my bedroom." Mineta stuttered and quickly turned around and walked away.
Some seconds pass, and Midoriya and Kirishima still don't know how to react to what had just happened. Eijiro is the one who breaks the silence.
"Could you just get off me already, please?"
"R-Right, s-sorry…"
Izuku finally gets up, and he offers his hand so Kirishima can get up as well. As the two boys stand up, they finally decide to comment on the Mineta situation.
"That… wasn't manly at all." Kirishima affirmed.
"A-and now w-we have to deal with my plus-ultra sneeze, the destruction I've made in my bedroom, Aizawa's test coming in three and a half hours a-and Mineta! M-Mineta will probably tell people what he saw and will distort the entire story! O-oh my gosh, w-what do I do? W-what do we do?!" Izuku's desperation began to increase.
"M-Midoriya, calm down! Breathe man, breathe!" The red haired boy exclaimed as he got worried for his friend.
"I-I'm sorry… I-I just don't know what to do."
Izuku sat on his bed, and frowned. This entire situation was getting much and much worse. He knew that it would sound ridiculous if he said that to Kirishima, but he wanted to cry so much out of the pure desperation he was having. That depressed look on his face made Eijiro quite sad as well. He sighed and sat by Midoriya's side. He did have an idea on how to help the poor boy, but he was worried that would end up making things worse.
"M-Midoriya… f-for the sneeze thing-"
"It's 'plus-ultra sneeze…" Izuku interrupted, still depressed.
"Right… for the 'plus-ultra sneeze'… I think I might have the solution for it. But it might make things worse…" Kirishima said.
"I-I don't have time to waste now, Kiri… what is it?"
"You're not even asking what is it?"
"I-I'm desperate, okay?"
"Fine… I'll be back in one minute."
Eijiro quickly stood up and left Midoriya's bedroom in a rush, leaving the green haired boy by himself in his bedroom.
The last fifteen minutes or more had been so agitating for the young Midoriya that he was creeped out when the calm and the silence of the night took over. It's like he hadn't had this much peace in a long time. At that moment, he had the chance of think of what could happen if he didn't stop his 'plus-ultra sneeze'. How many more damage could he possibly cause if he didn't stop it quickly? How would he stop Mineta from spreading what he saw to the entire class? How would people see Midoriya after that, especially his crush, Ochaco Uraraka? So many questions flew in his mind…
But unfortunately, all of that was interrupted when Kirishima busted into the room holding a syringe without a needle, yet full of water. Hot water.
Eijiro didn't even say anything; he just put the syringe into Midoriya's nose. The green haired boy's eyes widened, but Kirishima wasn't sure if it was of surprise or horror. Maybe both.
"Don't ask questions." He simply said.
He injected the hot water into his nasal orifice with no previous warning, shocking the poor young Midoriya. He quickly fell on the bed and tried to breathe, while his nose burned.
"W-what was that, Eijiro?!" Izuku cried.
"I-it was the only way! Y-you see, when I was a kid my parents used to get a syringe and inject hot water into my nose and I would stop sneezing in a couple of minutes!" Kirishima nervously said. He was afraid that Izuku got mad at him for doing that.
"Y-you could at least tell me what you were doing!"
"Too late for that, sorry Midoriya." Eijiro apologized, and put the syringe in his pocket.
Izuku got up from his bed, although he still sat on it. He looked to Kirishima, with a sleepy look on his innocent face. Kirishima, however, had no sleepy look: that situation made him too active to even consider sleeping.
"Well, I hope this-" Izuku stopped talking, and suddenly… "Ah… ah…"
"Oh… I forgot to tell you something." The red haired boy added. "For the next couple minutes you'll plus-ultra sneeze like crazy."
"Achooooo! Achooooo! Achoooo! Achoooooooo!"
And with the repeated sound of Midoriya's plus-ultra sneeze, the poor green haired boy was thrown to the wall, then to the ceiling again, to the ground and to the broken table, as if he was some kind a ball in a Pinball machine. Kirishima ducked and covered his head, afraid that his friend would hit him at any moment. He was relieved to see that he had stopped once he hit the broken table… until Izuku plus-ultra sneezed again, hitting Eijiro and throwing him into the wall, smashing it and leaving the mark of his silhouette.
Izuku's body was in pain, but not much. He had been through worse before. He was handling it just fine, and this was notable at the moment he stood up after plus-ultra sneezing five times in a row, as if nothing had happened. The same couldn't be said for the poor Kirishima, though. The red haired boy slowly stood up, with one of his hands on his back.
"My back…" He tried to walk, but couldn't do it properly. "My back!..."
Eijiro fell into the ground and fainted.
"What have I done…" Midoriya said to himself after seeing the chaos in his bedroom.
Later…
It was 7:15 AM in the morning, and with the same null expression on his face, Shouto Todoroki, walked in the hallway of the boys' dorm by himself. He was ready for class, as he had taken his breakfast and was already wearing his U.A. uniform. He did not want to be late for class, and he planned to review everything he had studied the day prior with Momo Yaoyozoru before taking Aizawa's test.
Shouto's mind was currently focused on revising what he had studied as he walked by Midoriya's bedroom. That is, until he noticed a crack in the hallway's wall. Todoroki's expression changed from 'null' to 'surprised' as he saw that peculiar scene and he got closer to the crack. Before even managing to touch the crack, he almost jumped after hearing a door behind him being slammed against the wall. Todoroki turned around and saw a sleepy Deku and a hurt Kirishima leaving the room.
"We… gotta go…" Midoriya tried to say something to Eijiro.
"Gotta… go fast…" Kirishima tried to reply.
Shouto frowned in confusion after seeing the state of his two classmates who left Midoriya's bedroom at the same time. As they left the door open, he decided to check on what happened there to find the cause of such condition for the two boys. He saw what he shouldn't have seen: a bedroom that was so messed up that it looked like a nuclear bomb exploded there.
Todoroki could only pronounce four words after seeing that scene, words that he thought he would never say.
"What the fuck, Midoriya."
At the U.A. building…
Izuku Midoriya and Eijiro Kirishima walked down U.A.'s hallway, as multiple eyes of various students glanced at them as they passed by. The reason was simple: Izuku had a face of who did not sleep last night, and he held Kirishima's arm, as the poor boy had his back hurt.
"Having hurt my back…" Said Eijiro. "… is not manly at all."
"I-I'm sorry for that, Eijiro… but at least your syringe worked! I'm not plus-ultra sneezing anymore!" Izuku tried to see the bright side.
"Yeah, but you couldn't sleep because you wanted to take care of me. Now you're sleeping, now I'm in pain. Yay, we're both going horribly in this test…" Kirishima reminded him that there's no bright side.
"A-at least we'll do the test!" He insisted on a bright side.
"And get a horrible grade." He did not.
"But think about- oh, here we are! Class 1-A!"
Izuku and Kirishima had finally arrived at their class, after desperately running so they could be there before the bell rang. Midoriya opens the door, only to be met with one of the worst things that could have happened to him and Eijiro.
"I'm telling the truth! I've went there to investigate the loud noise, and when I get there, I see Izuku and Kirishima kissing each other! Violently! On the ground! They even broke the entire bedroom!" Mineta stood at the teacher's table, saying that out loud to the whole classroom. All the girls were listening to him, but no one believed what he was saying.
"No way, ribbit." Tsuyu affirmed.
"Mineta, I didn't know you were into that kind of fanfiction." Hagakure said, bored with the boy's story.
"I-I'm being serious! I saw it with my own eyes!"
"I mean… I'd shipp it." Jiro Kyoka said, smiling and chuckling. "What about you, Uraraka? Would you like that or would you be jealous?"
"W-why would I be jealous? W-why would I l-like that? J-just leave me out of this…" Ochaco buried her face with her hands, covering how much she was blushing.
"C'mon, guys… we all know how Mineta's full of bullshit!" Mina Ashido affirmed. "This story is fake. Totally fake! I would only believe it if somehow Midoriya arrived at the classroom holding Kirishima or something and if they looked totally tired-" The pink girl turned around and saw Izuku holding Kirishima's arm as they looked totally tired. "Oh. My. Gosh."
Everyone in the classroom turned around, even the boys, who were minding their own business. The only one who didn't care was Bakugou. Needless to say, all the girls squealed immediately after seeing that, except for Uraraka who blushed even more. They all went to the two boys and surrounded them with numerous questions and comments.
"H-how did this even happen?!" Hagakure asked.
"Why you didn't tell me about this, Eijiro?!" Mina exclaimed. "Why didn't you ever told me you're playing on the same team as yours?!"
"That's… hot." Jiro said, smirking.
"N-n-no! No! No!" Izuku started stuttering, as he got increasingly nervous. "Y-you got it all wrong! T-that's not what happened!"
"Women, this is none of your business!" A voice said from far away. Before the two boys could even notice, Iida was running in their direction. Upon his arrival, he grabbed the two boys by their shirts and walked in Mineta's direction, dragging them alongside him. "If this is true or not, they're the ones who can reveal it! If so, we have a serious problem here, as you two destroyed Midoriya's bedroom! Which providences will U.A. take with you two after that?!"
"Ouch, ouch! My back, my back!" Kirishima cried.
Iida stopped walking once his feet hit something on the ground. He immediately looked to what did he hit, and got surprised by it.
"I suppose we'll take providences later." Professor Aizawa said, as he laid inside his traditional sleeping bag. "Now get back to your seats and don't cause any more confusion, the test will begin in ten minutes."
"S-since when you were even here, Aizawa-sensei?!" Denki exclaimed from his seat.
"Doesn't matter."
Quickly, the classroom recovered from the chaos it found itself in barely seconds ago. Izuku could now breathe in peace without being pressured with questions of something he didn't even do. As Kirishima, still having a back pain, went to his seat, Midoriya went and did the same, sitting next to Uraraka who was blushing too hard. Some seconds later, Todoroki arrived at the class and sat next to Yaoyozoru, and they started talking.
Izuku could say that the situation was finally back to normal. Or so he thought.
"Ah… ah…" He started.
Although Eijiro was far away from Midoriya, he quickly realized what was going on as soon as he recognized the sound of the plus-ultra sneeze.
"Oh no, oh no! Everyone, look out!" Kirishima yelled.
"Look out for what-" Mineta, who was sitting right by Midoriya's side, was interrupted by the latter.
"Achoooooooooo!"
The effect of the plus-ultra sneeze was strong enough to create a huge wind that made tables and chairs fly. Mineta, who was right by Deku's side, was thrown out of U.A. after getting through the now-destroyed wall of the classroom and going right through the now-destroyed glass window. Besides him, nobody else was hurt in the class.
Everyone in class looked straight at Midoriya after that incident.
"W-what in the world was that?!" Sero said, surprised.
"That, my friend…" Eijiro said. "… is Midoriya's plus-ultra sneeze."
Katsuki Bakugou, who was surrounded my tables and chairs, stood up and looked at Midoriya as blood ran through his veins, pumping more than ever. His will to kill that green haired bastard had increased even more.
"Deku…" Bakugou started. "… what the hell do you have in mind?!"
"It's not his fault, Bakugou." Todoroki stated. "Ever since I've woken up to some noise at night, I've been hearing someone sneezing and hitting something. I saw Midoriya's bedroom today, and it was totally destroyed. I think he cannot control his quirk when he sneezes."
"Shut up, Canadian flag! I'm killing this bastard right now, either way!"
"N-no, Bakugou! P-please, don't!" Izuku begged for his life.
"B-Bakugou, no!" Kirishima yelled.
"Bakugou, yes!"
Sparks started to come out of Katsuki's hands. As he walked closer to Midoriya, he started hearing a familiar noise coming from him.
"Ah… ah…"
"You know what? Forget what I said." Bakugou completely changed his mood in under a second, and took a step back.
"Everyone, stay back!" Iida warned. "Kirishima! Do you have any bright ideas?!"
"I-I'm trying to think of something!" Eijiro screamed. "Think, Kirishima, think… H-hey, I got a few!"
"Great, then use them!"
"Alright… Midoriya!"
Izuku tried to hold the will to plus-ultra sneeze for a little longer so he could listen to Kirishima.
"W-what?!" He asked.
"You know when you try to, y'know, hold a sneeze?!"
"W-what do you mean holding a sneeze?!"
"When you're going to sneeze, yet you don't sneeze, yet you did… I-I guess you understand me."
"O-oh! I-I get it, you want me to hold my sneez- ah, ah…"
"Yes! Do that! It might not activate your quirk and everything will be fine!"
"It's not going to end fine." Aizawa said to himself, facepalming.
"A-alright, Kiri! Ah, ah…"
And so, Izuku held his plus-ultra sneeze.
Minutes later, he was in the infirmary, and his body was completely covered in bandages. Kirishima's tip made Izuku use his quirk in his own body, as if he was activating a bomb but never letting it go. That way, the bomb exploded in himself, and Midoriya had broken his body once again.
Kirishima and Aizawa sat by Deku's side, and the green haired boy looked at his friend with a disapproving look on his face.
"I don't know why I listened to you." Izuku said.
"H-hey… it worked at least! Nobody got hurt!" Eijiro replied.
"Except for Mineta." Aizawa added.
"Who's Mineta?"
Suddenly, the infirmary door opened and no one other than All Might came in, wearing his traditional and symbolic uniform. He did not have a smile on his face, something very rare for the number one hero. He sat on another chair right by Izuku's bed, and looked at the others by his side.
"First of all, good morning to you all. Thanks for calling me, Aizawa. Now…" All Might changed his voice tone a little bit to sound more serious. "Young Midoriya, I've received much news about you today. It looks like you destroyed your bedroom at the boys' dorm, cracked a wall in the hallway, threw a student out of the U.A. building, destroyed your classroom and you hurt yourself, and you were sent to the infirmary afterwards. Could you tell me what happened to you? Why did you do all of this? There has to be a reason behind this."
Kirishima and Aizawa looked at each other, as they already knew the ridiculous answer Midoriya would have to give for his teacher. They looked back at the green haired boy, who looked at All Might, and simply said.
"I got the cold."
THE END.
A/N: It's midnight already and I don't know what have I written. I hope you somehow enjoyed and laughed at this non-sense story, either way. Don't forget to leave a review.