Note: BoboboX7 fan fiction. This one is about everyone's favorite Pillsbury Doughboy lookalike, Dengaku Man !
"I've got tofu on a stick ! YAY !"--Dengaku Man
"Memories of one thousand ancient flicks flooded my forebrain ! Stop them ! It could be an execution-death by firing squad. Do something !"--Mad rambling in a SPAM email
Chapter 1—Not Your Ordinary Doughboy
On screen, Dengakuman might come across as sort of a namby-pamby, pantywaste momma's boy. But he is nothing at all like that. Denga, as some of the ladies call him off screen, is quite the ladies' man. He's strong, buff, and ridiculously handsome for someone of his stature. The guest of many talk shows and a constant curiosity of onlookers. He is anything but ordinary. Sure, he's the best of friends with Bobobo, Beauty, Suzu, Don Patch, Jelly Jiggler, Gasser and the rest but he's possibly the most requested guest in the history of television. You might think that Beauty, Bobobo or Don Patch get this designation but such is not the case.
Dengakuman also recieves the most fanmail out of anyone else in the cast of the anime.
It may seem as a surprise but if anyone has ever met Dengakuman falls under his spell. He seems to have a magnetic personality and is rather likeable. But one thing many people tell me is to avoid making him angry. He can become exactly like The Incredible Hulk. That reminds me, I really need to check the stage and set it up for next weekend's episodes. Anime episodes just don't make themselves you know !
Chapter 2—Lunch With His Highness of Cute
After cleaning the set and putting up all the props, dollies and backdrops I found myself sweating profusely and hungry enough to eat two whole horses. Perhaps that was too much of a hyperbole, but I was quite famished and I couldn't wait to have a nice, tall glass of cool, fresh water.
Along my way outside of the studio, I happened to run into Denga. He waved eagerly at me and grinned.
"Hey Sulia, why are you eating all by yourself ? You know there's room for more than one over at my favorite picnic spot.", Denga said in that saucy baritone of his. I admit, even coming from a midget, the voice made me feel a little weak in the knees. I couldn't resist his offer, so I came over to judge him. I was surprised there weren't any other women around him, because usually wherever he went, women were drawn to him like moths to a flame.
I sat down next to Denga and he opened up his picnic basket. Not very many people are aware of this but Dengakuman is an exquisite chef. Only the people on the cast and people like m'self who know Denga well enough to realize he is very generous. Sometimes he has to go out on a limb (literally) to prove how caring and compassionate he is, but I must say I am lucky to have him as a friend.
I savored Dengakuman's homemade curry. Absolutely the most delicious curry I have ever had, save what my mom makes. Dengakuman told me what he had to look forward to in the next show. What I loved most is the scene changes I had to do and he congratulated me on how seamless and simple I made it look. But, I was starting to blush.
"It's nothing really, Denga. You know I adore working on the show. It might not be the most well-paying job but the health benefits are terrific !", I said, chuckling. I finished up a ramane soda I had picked out of the cooler section of Dengakuman's picnic basket and sighed happily. I was competely full and I thanked my friend for a fantastic meal. I still couldn't quite overcome how horrificly cute Dengakuman was although his actual voice was so masculine.
I then realized I had to get back to work to install scene transitions.
"It's been a pleasure as usual, Sulia. Take care, ok ? Don't go pulling any muscles, ok, sweetie ?", Dengakuman said, winking at me. I felt rather special. He didn't call any of the other girls that hung around him "sweetie", so I suppose I was garnering some special treatment from him. Lucky me !
Chapter 3—Hazy, Crazy, Never Lazy
Most people call me by my last name, York. Sometimes I feel like I am working for the Army, but 'soright. I work hard and work until the job gets done. Sometimes I take breaks with some homemade smoothie mix or lemonade to cool myself off after a hefty lifting job. It's always refreshing to take a break after getting sweaty, but I make sure not to take too much time out of my busy schedule to keep everything on stage looking perfect.
Over is such a flirt ! Every time he sees me doing something he has to "comment" on how "cute my butt is" or the fact I have "nice jugs". What a pervert ! I am not one to boast about my lovely, supple breasts but puleeeeze ! This guy goes too far just so he can try to impress me. He's nothing more but a nitwit who believes the quickest way to a woman's heart is through supersilious words and acts of strength. Feh. It's ridiculous, and there is no way I am falling for it. But beyond being flirted with by the most chauvenistic member of the cast, I sometimes go clubbin with Beauty, Gasser and the little dwarf who plays Don Patch. The real Don Patch is not so insane, trust me. This little guy is a ball of proverbial energy and the life of the party, but at the end of the day, he goes into his trailer and snores louder than a lumberjack felling timber.
Once we get ready to tape a Bobobo episode, everything is chaos. Pure, unbridled mayhem. I haven't had this much fun or laughter since being involved on the crew for Cromartie High School. This crew is just as enjoyable as the Cromartie crew. But the director from this production can be a little anal. I don't mean to be cruel to the guy, but he seriously needs to reconsider how he critiques some people. This guy is Sam Cowell on acid people. Now I love Mr. Truart loads but he makes me so irate at times I could hang him. He sounds a bit like Jon Lovitz and Ben Stein combined. Granted it's not the voice that irritates me but his personality.
If he would learn to mellow out I think he would have a hell of a lot easier time getting the cast to work with him instead of against him. It's not rocket science really. Enough about Mr. Truart.
On to real drama.
Yes, there are some dangerous scenes in the anime and no I don't condone little kids to be trying to imitate any of the characters. And for those parents who let their kids get away with such behavior SHAME ON YOU ! Ahem. I digress. I am not a stunt double for Suzu although I do resemble her a little. But, if anyone gets hurt I dispense first aid relief. Our stunt doubles get paid more than anyone else because of their medical expenses, but 'sno problem. But just to remind the littlest fans out there please don't try anything the characters do in reality...Ever.
It is dangerous. Though we are trained professionals, we too can get injured on the job.
Even m'self when I'm setting up the props by cherry picker. I once had a terrible fall and was in traction for a month. The others in the crew made certain I didn't have to put up props from such dangerous heights.
Chapter 4—Go Kart Insane
By the time the weekend arrives, the cast and I are out go karting and I am running around corners shouting "WOOOOO!"at the top of my lungs. Most people tell me I need to lay off the Mountain Dew when I go to those events but I DON'T NEED THEIR FRIGGIN APPROVAL.
Ahem. Now that I have that little chip off my shoulder and the boulder off of my chest, more about how I win every single time I go to the track.
Not only do I whip everyone's butts when I go putt putting next door and when I win gobs of tickets playing Ski Ball but go karting is my time to shine. They give me a little plastic trophy but it is my baby ! My pride and joy ! My chance to gloat and say,
"That was some mighty fine racing...BY ME !"
Ah, yes. Good times. Good, good times. It's too bad they are so soon gone and I wake up Monday morning realizing I have to go to work again. Ah, c'est la vie.
Epilogue
Now if you're wondering if Dengakuman and I are an item, no. We're not. Plus, he and I have a relationship more like siblings. He's got too many girls hanging around him and personally I just don't have time for a romantic relationship. Sure I have plenty of friends and the concept of a possible dating relationship with whatever that bishy boy's name is but, I like being single too much. I'm havin the time of my life. Top o' the world maw ! I couldn't want for anything else and I was livin' the life only Riley could've ever dreamed of. That, my friends...is enough, and nothing else matters.
Ramblings of one who sleeps in leather restraints, and cammo pants...
Sulia York
August 25, 2006