They Say That The Night Is Peaceful
They say that the night is peaceful. Everything in the world seems to settle down in sequence, letting their guards down, taking in a breath, closing your eyes, and find sweet serenity of tranquility.
He opened his eyes to the moon light, reflecting off of his dilated pupils. 'I miss those days' He thought to himself, adjusting his upright position. The blanket that did cover him was found all clumped up on his legs, as his backpack shifted away from being used as back support. He knew it wasn't much of a resting place, but when you're sojourning your way through chaos, you wouldn't want a permanent place to stay. The room wasn't really what a retailer would call a "bedroom", but in this state, a mattress in a secure place was a "bedroom". And it really was just that, four paint faded walls, some steel shelving, an old mattress, and a couple of comforters they stumbled upon in the closet.
He found himself slowly taking a deep breath in, letting out a soft, even sigh. Hiking use to be something he looked forward too, until it became the primary source of travel, now it was just exhausting and tedious. 'just a few more miles away from camp now' optimism perked up in his mind, 'just a few more hours away from a meal and a hot shower'. The pickup was taking a little longer than expected, some group of people have been like messengers, sending out orders from Bill's side of the country out west. The problem wasn't that they got lost, the problem was that Bill had apparently blocked off his own helpers, nearly killing them with his booby traps. Why does a loner like Bill look for helpers, when he doesn't want help? Who knows, over the years it seems that Bill has been losing it a little bit more with each passing day. With that mix up, it set things back about five days.
The mid-aged man glanced at his broken watch, who really cared about how much time things take now and days? The only group of people who actually bothered keeping track was the Military, and anyone who was stuck under their grasp. Outside of that, it was just a matter of night and day, and even then, just because it's nighttime doesn't mean that you are going to get some sleep.
Stirring noising of something shifting caught his sensitive ears, as his eyes looked over at the mattress. After some protesting, there she finally rested with her gear by her head. Sleeping arrangements always seemed so complicated. Neither one of them try claiming the bed, it was more like one pushes the other to accept the bed. I guess after a few nights of not sleeping well, the bed starts to sound more and more pleasing.
His soft brown eyes became even softer. 'She hasn't been herself lately.'
Ever since they had returned from their grand chase from the fireflies, Ellie had been lost in another world. Her green eyes just distant and dull with whatever pictures floated through her mind. It reminded him a lot of himself dwelling in the past. Sometimes you just can't let your past go…
A noise escaped from her, causing the company to grow rather uneasy from the sound. It just was unnatural, restless, and not remotely normal from a good restful sleep. He grasped the blanket to uncover himself, and quietly got on his feet to observe the girl more directly. Her limps twitched uncomfortably, her face wincing with tears rolling down her cheek, her little whimpers were getting stronger the longer she was in the dream.
"Ellie." He whispered as he witnessed her struggle with her memories… "Ellie." He knelt at the side of the mattress, as he rested a tender hand on her quivering shoulder.
She flinched at the touch, as her body convulsed in fear as her voice started shrieking.
His found himself taking both of his hands and grasping both of her shoulders, "Ellie, come on Ellie," He gently coaxed her awake. Her eyes wide, sweat just beading on her brow, as her breathing was rapped. Her tense fingers found themselves digging into his toned arms, seeking for something to ground her to reality.
"Holy shit." She breathed. "I thought I was dead."
His looked at her face with concern, "You alright?"
Ellie's eyes quivered back and forth as she focused on his shirt, still not completely in reality.
"Hey." He said, bending his head down enough so that he could look her right in the eye, "are you alright?"
Ellie's eyes looked up at his, "Ah, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine, Joel. Just a dream right..?" fake confidence showed in her soul, "… nothing to get all worked up about."
Nightmares… though not necessarily dangerous, can slowly wear out your sanity. Nightmares seem to be a more and more reoccurring thing as the years go by in this new era of life. Chaos in this world causes chaotic memories. Even so, just because it isn't unheard of does not make night terrors less disturbing.
Joel let his hands soften around her shoulders, gently rubbing one in a comforting gesture. "You wanna tell me about it?" He felt his brows knit together; as he was starting to grow more and more concerned the longer it took for her to reply.
She seemed unsure, as her lips tried to form voiceless words, struggling to find a way to speak.
"Listen," Joel's baritone voice was merely a breath from the sound, "You don't need to tell me anything you don't want too. I'm just trying to help the best that I can." He took a moment to examine her face, looking for some sort of sign to know that she was alright.
"I know," she breathed, "It's just…" her hands came up in balled fists, rubbing her face in frustration, "Ugh! I don't even know how to even friggin' explain it!"
For some reason, Joel found himself amused at her frustration, tugging a smile. "Well, how about you get back to sleep, and we can try to figure things out in the mornin'."
"Are you kidding me?" She looked at him in disbelief, "You want me to go to sleep after I just dreamt of people wanting to cut into my head like it was some sort of cake!? Yeah… That ain't gunna happen!"
Joel felt her shudder at the thought. Causing her to cross her arms, for some sort of relief, "… it was so real, Joel…" she breathed.
He lowered his hands, collecting them back in his lap. Swallowing hard at his own build up of the memory; Breaking past the security of the fireflies, busting down the doors, shooting everyone that was involved in cold blood… before they cut into her head like some sort of cake.
"Yeah… I can see how that can rattle yourself up, alright." He whispered.
Traveling a crossed the states, fighting their way through infected and hunters, looking for the fireflies, for the fireflies were looking for Ellie. They seemed to be the hope for everyone and at one point the hope for them. Sometimes, the things that you rely on most turned in the ugliest of ways. Ellie is immune to the infection, and the fireflies needed her for the cure. The government has this strategy of "you sacrifice the few to save the many", and the fireflies were no different, "you sacrifice one to save many".
'No… What good is humanity now since it went to hell? Why sacrifice the good to keep the evil?' He closed his eyes, 'it wasn't going to make people live longer. It was just going to make them stronger.'
His sight opened to his hands… scarred…. Callused. 'these hands use to build things, but now…' His hands balled up into fists…. 'so much has changed….'
Her hand rested on his forearm, causing him to relax, loosening his hands. "Thanks for waking me up out of that." She gave a weak smile, before taking her hand back.
"You're welcome, kiddo." He returned the weak smile.
She found herself lying back down on the worn out mattress, trying to find that warm cozy spot that she had left before. Joel was glad that she was heading back to sleep, as he stood up, not wanting to overstay his welcome. He turned towards the corner where he tried to sleep, when something stopped him.
"Hey… Joel…?"
He looked over his shoulder to speak in her direction. "Yeah…?"
"What do you do when you have nightmares?" She asked softly.
It wasn't every day that a tender moment would arise, but every time it showed itself he savored it.
"How do you know that I have nightmares?" He asked as he turned to face her.
"I've watched you sleep, remember?" She raised a brow, "I'm surprised you don't remember that. You know I said that you mumble and talk in your sleep, sometimes you-"
"okay, okay. Yes. You made your point." He jumped in before she could further explain his venerable moments. He sat at the very edge of the mattress, down by her feet, as he found himself running his fingers through his greasy, salt and pepper hair. "Uhh…" He sounded as he rubbed the back of his neck in deep thought.
"Dude…" She looked at him strangely, "What are you doing sitting on the edge of the bed? You think I'm going to bite?"
Joel felt another small tug of a smile, "No, I know you ain't gunna bite."
"Then come on up! You're the next contest on the Price is Right!" She smiled wide and proud at her little role play.
He gave a grunt of amusement, "Where on earth did you hear that from?"
"On some sort of TV guide thing that I stumbled upon at the bar. I guess it was their saying or something."
Joel started scooting up on the bed, finding himself sitting beside her, "It was a TV game show that has been around long before I was born. It was old even back in that time. But everyone still loved watching lucky people spin the big wheel to see how much money they would win…" He found himself crossing his arms, "Back then, everyone was greedy in a different way."
"A game show about prices?" She looked at him confused.
"Basically."
"That's stupid." She rolled her eyes, as she flopped back down on the bed. Resting on her back, as Joel was sitting up, propped up by the concrete wall.
"Yeah, it was kind of stupid."
"So! Anyway," She said "What were we talking about before crappy TV shows?"
Joel looked over at her with a cocked brow, "You should be sleeping…"
"Oh that's right, nightmares." Her smile weakened to a more somber expression. "How do you handle them?"
He found himself looking up at the worn out ceiling, pondering on his nightmares triggered by his memories. "I… try not to think about it too much."
"But… Don't they bother you?" She asked weakly.
"Well…" He started, finding himself sigh. "I wouldn't say I enjoy them…" His eyes closed, remembering all the times he woke up in a cold sweat, sometimes screaming in the middle of the night attracting the infected. A few times, Tess would walk in on him and shake him awake, which would lead him in a panicked state, causing him to attack his comrade.
"No duh." Ellie grunted, rolling over on her side, turning her back on him. "Just forget it."
Joel looked over at her, with a confused look, "What?"
"You're telling me things that I could have figured out on my own." Her agitation sounded from her voice. "I'm not stupid."
"I didn't say that you were." Joel sighed heavily, "It's just… Honestly I'm not sure how I deal with it. I just, get use to it I guess." His eyes lowered, "I know that it's just things in the past that keeps reoccurring in my dreams. I just keep looking for something to hold on too, something that keeps me going, even if it's as small as eating a good meal that night. There is too much chaos, and I figured that it's best that I don't add to it. Though, there are times in which I felt I have done more harm than good." His hand found the back of his neck again, "In films and even TV shows, they always show the good guy standing out from the bad. The hero in all things, the one that does nothing wrong and always looks for the good in everyone and in everything." His hand fell slowly from the back of his neck, and rested on his thigh, " What they don't show is that, when the world goes to hell, the perfect good guys are the first ones to die. It seems as though the only way to survive is to do deeds that you're not entirely proud of…"
"Like when you were with the Hunters…?"
Joel looked over at Ellie, who rolled over towards him, looking up at him with her jade eyes. He found himself slightly nodding his head, "yeah… like that."
"So…" Ellie took a moment to think… "Where do you see yourself? As one of the good guys? Or the bad guys?"
He looked outside, at the full moon pouring in the light in the room…. "I see myself as the guy trying to get by…"
"You wanna know what I see you as?"
He looked back over at her with down casted eyes. "What do you see me as, Ellie?"
She sat up next to him, so they were seeing each other closer to eye to eye. "I see an old guy." She snickered at that little joke.
His face was a little scrunched up, not expecting her to reply by taking a jab at his age. But, he went along with it. "I was wondering why my hair was turning gray. Thanks Captain obvious."
"You're welcome Lieutenant Sarcasm!"Her tired body started resting into his shoulder a little more.
He blinked at that, "That was pretty good. Did you get it out of that joke book of yours?"
"Eh, something like that. You'd be surprised how much a girl can pick up by reading random stuff." She hid a yawn, leaning into his shoulder a little more.
"Ellie, why don't you get some sleep."
"But I'm not even tired.." She said during another yawn.
"Uh huh…" He grasp the blanket and covered her up in it, then without even a thought, wrapped his arm around her, bringing her closer to his chest. "Just try to get some rest, alright?"
"mhmmm…" she mumbled, as she found herself snuggling right into his warm body.
"we'll talk more in the morning." Joel found himself closing his eyes, as his body slowly started to rest with hers. It was different compared to sleeping with just a blanket in a cold room, neither of their bodies had to fight to keep themselves warm, for their body heat radiated off of each other, causing a perfect sleeping environment.
"Joel…?"
"hmm?" he mumbled, half asleep.
"Just so you know, I don't think you are the bad guy." She whispered, her voice very heavy with sleep.
He found himself softly smiling as he rested his cheek on the top of her head. "oh?"
"No. I think you are the guy people can rely on the most to survive and endure."
He cracked open his eyes, "Are you saying that I'm like the guy in one of your comic books…?"
"If it means something to you, I know I can rely on you with everything, like the people do in those comic books. I'm glad I have you."
His smile was warm, as he pressed his lips on the top of her head. "I hope you can always do that."
She nuzzled into him, as he instinctively brought her closer to him with both of his arms. "Goodnight, baby girl." He whispered softly.
The nights can be peaceful and sweet, when you are not alone in times of darkness. Sometimes, the night can be bright when you are accompanied by the moon and the stars, twinkling in the distance, guiding your way through the darkest of days. When you are not alone, you will always find the light in the darkness, the good in the bad, and the drive to keep going when the whole world seems hopeless.
"I'm glad I have you too." he breathed as sleep finally came over his senses, and took him away to sweet peace.