Author's Note: This was inspired by a recent conversation that I had with alyssialui regarding how Bellatrix was envious of Narcissa. I just had to do something more with that. This story will alternate between Bellatrix's and Narcissa's points-of-views and will show how two people can view the same situation differently from one another. This story also has many time period jumps. It begins with Bellatrix and Narcissa as children and ends after the events of Deathly Hallows. Hopefully this isn't just some huge mess. It all sounded really good in my head.
Bellatrix was Cygnus's and Druella's first child and therefore their first chance to spread their beliefs in blood purity to a new Pureblood. And they did so with great excitement. They just knew that their little Bellatrix would one day be a proper Pureblood just like they were.
Being the firstborn, however, had its drawbacks. Cygnus and Druella, for instance, expected the most out of their oldest daughter. She was, after all, the first of a new generation of Black women; and she had to do her generation proud. She was also expected to be the role model for her two younger sisters.
There was no denying that a lot of pressure was placed on Bellatrix, but there also no denying that Bellatrix was born to be a Pureblood. She was always wild and dramatic, and her antics stressed her parents to no end. They appreciated that she hated Muggles and Mudbloods like a good little Pureblood girl, but they did not appreciate as much her disdain of authority (including them).
Bellatrix also seemed to have been born with a taste of cruelty in her blood. It was not out of the question for Bellatrix to do things such as starting a fire or tormenting animals with a dagger.
And she was doing these things even before Andromeda and Narcissa were born, even before she had to endure the pressure of being her sisters' role model of proper Pureblood behavior.
It was no secret that Bellatrix hated Andromeda. The two were complete opposites, with completely different beliefs. The only thing that the two sisters shared was their extremity in showing those beliefs.
There was no way that anyone could ever fail to notice Bellatrix or Andromeda. They naturally drew attention to themselves.
And Bellatrix hated Andromeda for taking the attention away from her, for being different, for not being a proper Pureblood.
Narcissa was a completely different matter. On the surface it seemed as if Bellatrix had no problems with her youngest sister. Narcissa was a beautiful child with blond hair (which stood out against Bellatrix's and Andromeda's darker hair), but Narcissa was also a quiet and shy child. She was never loud, and unlike her two older sisters, she always did as she was told.
Cygnus and Druella completely adored Narcissa because she was such a good little girl. She believed in blood purity, but she also stayed out of trouble.
Narcissa was so perfect, and Bellatrix couldn't stand it. And Bellatrix hated how her parents favored Narcissa over her. Cygnus and Druella were always buying presents for their precious little Narcissa. But they rarely bought anything for Bellatrix.
It didn't matter to Bellatrix that Andromeda received even fewer gifts. All that mattered to Bellatrix was that Narcissa was taking undeserved attention away from her.
And Narcissa was such a spineless little thing who didn't have the courage to show how much she believed in blood purity. She talked about it and said all the right words, but she wasn't willing to take the next step.
Why was it, then, that Narcissa was seen as the perfect Black girl?
It would have taken Narcissa completely by surprise to know that Bellatrix was so envious of her, especially since Narcissa herself was so envious of both Andromeda and Bellatrix. Narcissa admired both of her older sisters' strong wills and how they were able to stand up for what they believed in without any fear. Narcissa wished that she half of her sisters' courage.
Andromeda and Bellatrix were so confident in themselves and they carried themselves with such pride. Narcissa was just glad that she was able to walk without tripping over her feet or without doing anything else foolish. She was much too little to yet have Andromeda's and Bellatrix's grace.
Unlike her two older sisters, Narcissa preferred silence. But there were times when she wished that she could hold the attention of an entire room like Andromeda and Bellatrix could.
Narcissa appreciated all of her parents' presents, but she would have appreciated more their actual attention. But since Narcissa was such a good little girl, her parents didn't need to bother with her much. Besides, they were too busy trying to keep Andromeda and Bellatrix under at least some degree of control. The two older Black sisters just had to be rebellious. Nothing like perfect little Narcissa.
Except that Narcissa did not feel perfect. In fact, she often felt weak and pathetic, especially when she compared herself to her sisters. And Narcissa didn't like how her blond hair made her look so different from Andromeda and Bellatrix. It was because of her blond hair that Bellatrix would often suggest that she was in fact adopted and not a true Black.
Bellatrix felt like it was completely unfair that Narcissa had been arranged to marry Lucius Malfoy, while she had been promised to Rodolphus Lestrange of all people. True, Rodolphus Lestrange was a Pureblood, but he had nothing on Lucius Malfoy.
It didn't matter to Bellatrix that Lucius was younger than her, nor did it matter to her that she completely despised the Malfoy heir. Bellatrix hated how Lucius was not afraid of her, and she especially hated how he had no problem with challenging her in front of others.
No, what mattered to Bellatrix was that the Malfoys were wealthier and held more influence than the Lestranges.
And it would be Narcissa, and not Bellatrix, that would one day be a Malfoy.
Narcissa was the baby of the family, while Bellatrix was the oldest. Wasn't the oldest supposed to have all the rights? It was completely unfair that Narcissa was the one who got the best of everything.
Narcissa completely adored Lucius. He was so graceful and elegant. He was so confident in himself. He carried himself like a proper Pureblood, and he looked like one with his aristocratic features.
And he adored Narcissa. He always treated her with respect, and he was the only one who seemed to realize that she had actual feelings.
Narcissa felt so lucky that out of all the Purebloods she could have been promised to, she had been promised to Lucius. He was a gentleman. Unlike that Rodolphus Lestrange. A part of Narcissa felt sorry for Bellatrix.
But another part of her felt that Bellatrix and Rodolphus were perfect for each other. Besides, Rodolphus could be nice at times. Plus, he wasn't nearly as extreme as Bellatrix. In fact, Rodolphus seemed content to follow Bellatrix's lead.
Rodolphus was nothing like Lucius. Lucius was actually brave enough to stand up to Bellatrix. Narcissa wished that she had Lucius's courage. She wished that she could stand up to Bellatrix as well.
Bellatrix often went out a night. She had never been afraid of the dark. No, she had always embraced the darkness.
It was on one particular night that Bellatrix's life changed forever, changed for the better.
Bellatrix did not see the hooded and cloaked figure until it was too late. She tried to reach for her wand, but she didn't even have enough time for that. The figure already had its wand out and pointed at her. Before Bellatrix could do anything to defend herself, she felt herself become completely immobilized.
For the first time in her life, Bellatrix was at someone else's mercy.
"Bellatrix Black," a voice, a man's voice, spoke. It wasn't a question. It was a statement of fact. Whoever this man was, he already knew who she was.
"Who are you and what do you want with me?" Bellatrix asked, pleased by how confident she sounded. She would not be afraid. She was not just a Black. She was also the oldest of the three Black sisters. She was practically royalty.
The man laughed as he pushed back his hood. Bellatrix suddenly found herself staring into the face of someone who looked more snakelike than human.
And Bellatrix completely liked it. This snakelike man radiated a power that she had never before felt in her life. It was an intoxicating feeling.
And Bellatrix was starting to discover that she didn't mind being at this man's mercy. He was the first person that she had ever met that was actually worthy enough to dominate her.
"I have been watching you for some time, Bellatrix," the man said, "and your devotion to blood purity is like none other I've ever seen before. I find you to be quite admirable, actually. You have been held back for too long, Bellatrix. But it is now time for your full potential to be fulfilled. No longer will the rules of society bind you. No, you will be free, free to be yourself, without any restraints. I know that you desire power and glory. I know that you desire for your name to be feared by others. I can give you all these things and more, Bellatrix. All you have to do is promise yourself to me, and I shall welcome you into my inner-circle of Death Eaters."
The Dark Lord. This man was the Dark Lord. And he wanted her. And he appreciated her devotion to blood purity. And he admired her. How many times have her parents been annoyed by her antics? How many times have they not shown her the respect that she deserved? How many times have they not been as proud as her as they should have been?
Bellatrix was completely delighted. She had been waiting for most of her life for such a moment like this.
"I will do whatever you ask," Bellatrix breathed. "I am yours. I am honored."
The Dark Lord laughed. "Show me how honored you are."
Bellatrix suddenly found that she was no longer immortalized.
"Show me how honored you are," the Dark Lord repeated, "and the world will be yours." He made a gesture that Bellatrix immediately understood.
And it was a gesture that Bellatrix had no problem with following. All that mattered to her was that she was no longer going to be held back. All that mattered to her was that she was finally going to be free to do whatever she wanted, without any consequences.
Bellatrix threw herself at the Dark Lord's feet. "I am yours," she said for the second time that night.
"And I welcome you," the Dark Lord replied. "Rise now, Bellatrix."
Bellatrix got to her feet like an eager child.
"My Lord," Lucius spoke, "this is my wife, Narcissa."
The Dark Lord turned to look at Narcissa. Only her Pureblood breeding kept her on her feet. She immediately knew that she meant nothing to this man. She immediately knew that this man would destroy her if it suited his purposes, and it would not bother him to do so. This was a man she didn't want to get on the wrong side of. This man was evil.
"My Lord," Narcissa said with a slight but polite curtsy, "I am honored to meet you." Only her Pureblood breeding kept her from trembling in fear. She could not, however, keep herself from going slightly pale.
"Of course you are, Narcissa," the Dark Lord replied. He then directed his attention back to Lucius.
Out of the corner of her eye, Narcissa noticed that Bellatrix was frowning at her. What had she done wrong now?
Narcissa then noticed that the Dark Lord was bidding them goodbye. Lucius bowed his head respectfully. The only thing that Narcissa could manage to do was to give the Dark Lord a slight nod of her head. She was completely terrified of him, and she didn't want to draw attention to herself. For the first time in her life, Narcissa didn't want to be noticed. It suddenly didn't feel so bad to be the quiet, shy Black sister.
A curtsy. And not even much of a curtsy. That was all Narcissa could give to the Dark Lord? Just a curtsy? Who did she think she was? Narcissa really did think too highly of herself. And Lucius allowed her to get away with that? Where was his respect for the Dark Lord?
Bellatrix had to do something to make up for Narcissa's lack of respect. "My Lord," she said with deep reverence, "I eagerly look forward to our next meeting. I cannot wait to put those Mudbloods back into their proper place."
Out of the corner of her eye, Bellatrix noticed that Lucius was rolling his eyes. What was wrong with him? And where was his deep devotion? He should be throwing himself at the Dark Lord's feet and apologizing for Narcissa's lack of respect. How could he just stand there and allow Narcissa to think that she was better than even the Dark Lord?
The Dark Lord placed a finger under Bellatrix's chin and forced her to look him directly in the eyes. She did not resist. Her body trembled with joy at the Dark Lord's touch.
"Your devotion is always appreciated, Bellatrix," the Dark Lord said. He then gave Lucius one final look before turning to leave.
Bellatrix was so happy that the Dark Lord had not even spared Narcissa a glance. That would put her in her proper place.
Bellatrix's joy was short-lived, however. As soon as the Dark Lord was gone, Lucius turned to Narcissa and said, "What's wrong, Narcissa? You don't look well. Are you sick or something?" And he sounded so concerned.
Why did it always have to be about Narcissa? So what if she was a little pale. That didn't mean that she was sick or that she needed to be fussed over. Lucius really did spoil her.
"I'm fine, Lucius," Bellatrix heard Narcissa speak. "I'm just a little tired, that's all. You know how much I like my sleep."
And then Narcissa had to make things even worse by smiling so sweetly at Lucius. Where had that sweet smile been when the Dark Lord had honored her enough to meet her here in Malfoy Manor, here in her new home?
"Maybe you should leave, Bellatrix," Lucius ordered rather than suggested. "We really don't feel like entertaining right now."
He dared to dismiss her just because Narcissa was feeling a little tired. Bellatrix huffed, but she left. One day Narcissa would realize that she wasn't as important as she made herself out to be, and Bellatrix would make sure that she was around to see that day.
"Narcissa, what's really wrong?" Lucius asked as soon as they were in the privacy of their bedroom. "You're as pale as a ghost."
"It's silly, really," Narcissa muttered under her breath, not really wanting to talk about it.
"Silly?" Lucius said in disbelief. "Narcissa, if I've ever given you reason to believe that I think you're silly, I'm sorry."
"It's nothing important," Narcissa insisted.
"Well, you are looking rather pale for something that is not important."
"It's the Dark Lord," Narcissa blurted out. "He scares me, Lucius. The way he looked at me. The way he looked at you. We mean nothing to him, Lucius. Nothing at all. I felt like such an insignificant bug, and I'm afraid that he might one day decide to crush me. Even worse, I'm afraid that he might one day decide to crush you."
Lucius didn't say anything at first.
"This is the part where you tell me that I'm just being silly," Narcissa spoke.
"No, Narcissa," Lucius replied, "every word you spoke is true. It is dangerous to fall out of favor with the Dark Lord."
"Then why do you serve him?"
"I serve the cause, not him," Lucius answered. "I will be loyal to him for as long as he works to make life better for us Purebloods. And that means putting Muggles, Mudbloods, and Blood Traitors into their proper place, so that they can no longer threaten our existence or our culture. You are wise to be wary of the Dark Lord, Narcissa, but I do not want you to be afraid. The Dark Lord is pleased with me, very pleased. All will be well. We will rule the Wizarding World as we should, as we deserve to."
Narcissa just nodded her head. Lucius walked over to her and embraced her.
With anyone else, Narcissa would have been ashamed of her tears. But she had never been ashamed to cry in front of Lucius. Unlike Bellatrix, he had never mocked her for her tears or had called her weak for crying.
"All will be well," Lucius repeated.
What was wrong with Narcissa? How could she keep on defending Lucius after his miserable failure in the Department of Mysteries? Narcissa had been nothing but upset since she had received the news of Lucius's capture and imprisonment. Why couldn't Narcissa understand that Lucius had failed the Dark Lord and that he deserved everything that he now got?
And why did Narcissa not want Draco to serve the Dark Lord? Bellatrix had never had the chance to have an heir. She had never had the chance to give to the Dark Lord a child to serve him. Bellatrix would have given anything to be Narcissa. Bellatrix would have given anything to have a Draco of her own to give to the Dark Lord.
Pureblood women were expected to continue their Pureblood line. But Bellatrix had not been able to do so. She had not been as fortunate as Narcissa. Why couldn't Narcissa realize this? Why was Narcissa still so full of herself?
Bellatrix would have given anything to ensure that the Dark Lord would have had her continued service, even after her death.
How could Narcissa be so selfish? Didn't she realize that the Dark Lord was fighting for the rights of Purebloods? Didn't Narcissa still care about that?
Or was Narcissa starting to become like Andromeda? Was precious, perfect little Narcissa trying to become a little rebel? Was it finally going to be revealed for all to see that Narcissa wasn't as perfect as she pretended to be?
Narcissa could barely stand to look at her sister. Bellatrix had often been cruel to her when they had been children, but Narcissa had always believed that a part of her sister did truly love her.
But now Bellatrix was asking Narcissa to sacrifice not just a part of herself but also a part of Lucius.
Bellatrix just didn't understand. She had never loved Rodolphus like Narcissa loved Lucius. Bellatrix had never had the joy of having a child. Bellatrix couldn't understand because she had never had the chance to understand.
A part of Narcissa felt sorry for her sister.
Narcissa still did not get it. Despite the fact that both her husband and her son were nothing but complete and utter failures, Narcissa still insisted on being in charge. She still insisted on getting her way in her house. Oh, so it was her house now? Lucius had truly fallen far from grace if he was allowing his wife to call his house hers. Who did Narcissa think she was?
Narcissa was finding it harder and harder to think straight. She just wanted things to go back to the way they once were. She just wanted her family to be whole and together. She had to keep her husband and her son from breaking. Lucius and Draco were her entire world, and Narcissa knew that she would break if anything ever happened to them.
Lucius and Draco were now all that mattered to Narcissa.
Victory was finally going to be theirs. And for once, Narcissa wouldn't be able to ruin it. Her husband and her son had fallen so fall from grace that Narcissa had finally come to realize that she was no longer that important. Narcissa finally looked as dejected as Lucius.
Narcissa had finally been put in her proper place.
Narcissa didn't know what to think as she looked at Bellatrix's tomb. A part of her still couldn't believe that her sister was actually dead. Bellatrix had always been the strong, wild one.
While Narcissa had always been the good girl, the quiet girl who had never caused any trouble.
Yet it was Narcissa and not Bellatrix that was still alive.
Narcissa glanced over her shoulder to where Lucius stood several feet away, waiting for her.
Narcissa smiled. She really was fortunate to have Lucius in her life. She knew that he had never liked Bellatrix. Yet he had still come here to Bellatrix's tomb, out of respect for his wife's feelings.
Narcissa then thought of Draco, and her smile grew even wider. Draco had not wanted to come, and neither of his parents had faulted him for that. None of his memories of Bellatrix had been pleasant.
But it didn't matter to Narcissa that Draco did not have any tender feelings towards Bellatrix. Narcissa was just glad that she still had Draco in her life.
A part of Narcissa was sad that Bellatrix was gone.
But another part of her was relieved. Unlike Lucius, Bellatrix had served the man instead of the cause. The Dark Lord had meant more to Bellatrix than her own family. Bellatrix had proved after Lucius's imprisonment that she didn't care if anything happened to Draco, her own nephew.
And since then, Narcissa had come to realize that Bellatrix no longer cared about her. Bellatrix would have done anything for the Dark Lord.
Even sacrifice her own sister.
Narcissa walked over to Lucius. "I'm ready to go now," she said. "Thank you for coming with me."
"It was the least that I could do," Lucius mumbled under his breath, "after everything that you have done for me."
Narcissa took her husband's hand. "You don't owe me anything, Lucius," she said. "You kept me and Draco safe from harm whenever the Dark Lord was angry at us. And you were the one who convinced the Dark Lord to let us go with him to Hogwarts. I would not have been able to do what I did if we had not been there. And we were there because of you, Lucius. Don't you ever forget that."
Lucius and Narcissa began to walk through the cemetery. They were silent for several moments.
"Do you miss her?" Lucius finally asked. "Bellatrix?"
"A part of me does," Narcissa answered, "but a bigger part of me thinks that her death was for the best. She had become too lost in the Dark Lord." Narcissa suddenly laughed. "It's funny, I use to think that Bellatrix was the strong one, and I use to envy her for that. I always use to wish that I had her courage. But at the same time, I wanted to be the perfect little Pureblood girl, so I kept on playing by the rules.
"Bellatrix used to taunt me for being weak and spineless, but I now believe that she was just jealous of all the presents that my parents gave me for being such a good girl. They were always on Bellatrix's case, but never on mine. A part of me, though, still wished that I could be like Bellatrix, brave and strong. But now I realize that I've been wrong about her this whole time. She allowed the Dark Lord to control her every move. She followed him to her death. She wasn't strong enough to resist him. And a part of me will always feel sorry for her."
"It seems to me that you were both envious about lies," Lucius responded. "You were wrong about her strength, and she was wrong about you being spineless. She was wrong to think that you were weak and delicate." Lucius laughed. "You lied straight to the Dark Lord's face. If that isn't strength, then I don't know what is.
"You managed to escape the chains of everything that we have been taught. You put family over blood. That is what allowed you to defy the Dark Lord and to save both me and Draco. And even though I refuse to be anything but proud of my Pureblood heritage, I will no longer let it be the only thing that defines me. You truly are an amazing person, Narcissa. Don't you ever forget that."