"Naruto," Sakura began staring blankly at the sunset just above the horizon. A pair of strong arms wrapped securely around her seated frame, drew her back closer to a well toned chest.
"Yes, Sakura-chan?" A huskily low voice asked as it blew strands of pink against her cheek.
"If things had been different…if you could do everything all over again knowing what you know now, would you still have joined the Academy?"
"Well," the blond squinted into the sunset pondering hypotheticals. "I can't say that I've ever thought about it before. I really can't imagine being anything else but a ninja." The young blond could feel the soft sigh that escaped the teenaged kunoichi as her shoulders slumped slightly forward. Gently he coaxed her back so her head lay against his shoulder and kissed the top of her strawberry head. "What is it, little one? It sounds like you've been thinking a lot about it."
"I…I don't know. It's just," Sakura fumbled for the right words finally letting out only another soft sigh. Naruto, traced the outline of her arm with the palm of his hand.
Relax, Sakura-chan, he thought to himself. Just tell me what's on your mind.
"Naruto, remember when we were kids and we played our games?" Sensing a 'but' coming on, Naruto remained quiet. After so many years as teammates, he'd learned when the medic-nin was being rhetorical or just needed to talk out her thoughts. He also knew when to push her on to working through whatever problem she faced. It was this that caused her to be so comfortable with him, why they were such intimate friends. She knew she could bare her soul to him and he would never stand in judgment. The past year especially, he had become her sounding board or her strong shoulder to lean on. A shoulder he leant her freely. "We were never really certain how the reality would end. Continually practicing to become stronger, sharper, ready for anything."
"Hm," Naruto half laughed his agreement, the memories bringing a small smile to his face. Leaning slightly forward to lay his chin on her shoulder, "yes, I remember."
"The truth was, we had no clue just how far we had to go. We were anything but ready. We were completely clueless to the cruelty that was to come. Some of us were nonchalant about it. Some of us remained ambivalent and some of us were just plain naïve." Laying a hand on his thigh so she could readjust her seated position as the two continued to watch the yellow ball turn to orange, she pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them, much the same way as when she was the kid she had just referred to. "As kids we thought ourselves strong. Our choice to become shinobi, the protectors of our village, was a choice full of pride and honor. But it was complete with so much heartache and pain. The darkness we would travail clouded our vision and our childhood's death came swiftly. I mean, before long it was like we were these mini prepubescent adults with the weight of the world on our still growing shoulders."
Sinking a little deeper into the young man's embrace, Sakura felt some of the fire leave her with her rant complete. Without asking, Naruto obligingly pulled her closer still. "Hai, Sakura-chan. I know what you mean. Sometimes I watch the smaller kids as they play ninja in the park or the old school yard, and you can just see it on their faces. You can see how they've been dreaming the dreams that led us to our path. And…well, I want to stop them."
Naruto relaxed his embrace and taking the opportunity, Sakura turned to gaze into the still blue pools. Does he…could Naruto understand how I feel?
"Sakura-chan, I will admit that some days I have to fight the urge to take away their toy weapons and replace them with dolls and skateboards, jump ropes and trading cards. But then…" the blond broke off his comment as his eyes turned slightly downcast.
"But what, Naruto-kun?" Grasping his hands in hers, she squeezed lightly.
"Then I recognize that it's already too late for them." Blue pools darkened along with emerald gems at this observation. "Nothing could sway their minds just as no one could change ours. And so our mistakes, and the ones passed on by generations before, are laid full strength on the following generations." A nervous chuckle broke free of his lips as he rubbed the back of his head. "It's like I finally get what the Sandaime meant when he said, 'a vicious cycle, this shinobi life we lead'."
"The Sandaime said that, huh? Perhaps it's just the burden of being a protector."
"Maybe," Naruto spoke as he readjusted the kunoichi in his lap so she wouldn't miss the end of the sunset, and embraced her as he had before.
"Still, knowing what we know now, I wonder if we would have made the same decisions. Or would we cling to our youth and innocence like it was the essence to our survival? I think I sometimes envy the other girls who practice tea setting and flower arranging without the added twists of utilizing these skills for covert ops." Naruto softly chuckled into the crook of her neck.
"No, seriously, Naruto…I wish I could pick up a sewing needle solely for the purpose of creating something beautiful without it being a cover for what are actually poisoned senbon. Oh, just to be able to walk outside and not constantly register chakra signals and read everyone's body language for malevolent intent. Haven't you ever noticed how even the ordinary every day things are just impossible for us, how everything takes on a whole new meaning for us?"
Interlocking his fingers with hers, he gently raised her hand to his lips. "You mean like how walking hand in hand with a special someone," Sakura blushed at the reference. "…could really just be a cover to lure a hidden enemy out of the shadows of dusk?" At his words, the kunoichi instantly tensed for the ready. "Shhh, relax Sakura-chan. I was only using this setting as an example. We're safe. You're safe," with me. He held her tighter, lips barely grazing the crook of her neck as he breathed in her scent.
"Oh." Only slightly affected by his lips, Sakura resumed the prior conversation. "Yeah, that is a good example…or how about when mission rations and a roaring fire become the replacement for dinner and a movie." Naruto laughed heartily at that, remembering the mission she spoke of.
It had not been long after the failed attempt to retrieve Sasuke. Yamato and Sai had already gone to sleep and Naruto was on watch. Both he and Sakura had been completely heart -broken over Sasuke's refusal (and death threats) to come back. Realizing that the petite kunoichi was still awake, Naruto had incorrectly deduced that Sakura was still in love with Sasuke. So despite his own feelings toward her, he attempted to console her shattered heart. Only she wasn't heart-broken over Sasuke but for Naruto. She understood how like a brother Sasuke had been to him, how in many ways they were kindred spirits. That was really her only reason for still wanting to bring the defector back. Naruto needed him. Or so she thought. In truth, it had been that night the solidified their friendship and caused each of them to realize the potential of what they might have…together. However, each was uncertain of how to proceed because neither wanted to damage what they had.
Still thinking about Sasuke, Sakura asked, "how come, as ninja, we can't even enjoy our own strength and abilities unless they're chakra enhanced? We're all so strong compared to any civilian and yet, it isn't enough for us. Take Lee, the poor guy nearly kills himself everyday just trying to keep pace with the rest of us since he has no nin or genjutsu. Still, Lee and all of the rest of us, wouldn't trade it for all the ryu in the world. What happened to us, Naruto-kun? When did our careers become our lives and our lives cease to exist?"
The last flashes of orange turned to red then purple, against the horizon, but the green eyed young woman was still preoccupied with her thoughts. "Maybe we're all crazy." She rose from the comfort of Naruto's loving embrace causing him to really look at the beautiful kunoichi before him. The strength and power that she possessed in such an unassumingly tiny frame and that face, so angelic in his eyes, yet a cloud seemed to hover over her.
What's wrong Sakura-chan?
"Maybe it's me," the pink headed teen blurted out. "Sometimes I ask myself if I would rather be a wife than a shinobi." That's not what I meant to say…I meant civilian, not wife. Kuso.
Nani! "You do?" Sakura nodded, too embarrassed to meet his gaze, instead hiding the faint blush that rosied her cheeks.
Oh no, I've said too much. I need to do damage control. "It's not really a question that I can answer." Naruto quirked a brow at her sudden indecision, unsure of where she was going with this. Oh well, here goes. "The truth is I want them both. I want the normalcy and the thrill; the house and kids one week with adventure and espionage the next."
At this, Naruto smirked a little at her worries. To him, they were such non-issues. If she really wanted children, she may have to take some time off, but that would be far from complete retirement from shinobi life. But if Sakura wasn't over-thinking something, well, she just wouldn't be his Sakura-chan. Her almost neurotic worrying was part of what made her so endearing. As he stood to walk toward her, she took a few hesitant steps closer. Placing a large hand under her chin, he lifted her head so he could look into her eyes, into her very soul. The once hyperactive, ball of energy, seemed to root himself to the spot in front of her. His free hand touseled a lock of pink, as Naruto continue to try to read underneath her underneath. "Sakura-chan," he began leaning his forehead against hers and enveloping her slender shoulders with his one arm. "Who told you, you had to choose one over the other?"
Sakura's breath caught in her throat and she immediately tried to pull away, but the blond was having none of that. "Naruto…"
Speaking just as low and hushed as he had been all evening, he pressed her closer then bent so his lips grazed her ear. "Just who has stolen your heart and caused you to second guess the life you know you want?"
"Who? What do you mean?"
"Who told you that you couldn't be both a wife and a kunoichi? I…" He paused to trace his thumb along her cheek, "I don't see why becoming a wife would suddenly make you unable to go on missions or be a medic. It would be your choice to do one over the other rather than both."
"Naruto, most men don't…"
Grasping her more roughly than he meant, he caught her by surprise with his gaze becoming even more intense. "I can't speak for most men, I can only speak for this man. The one standing here with you right now, holding you." Sakura's eyes grew wide and her breath hitched for the second time that evening. "Sakura-chan, our lifestyle isn't easy but any man who would make you feel like you'd have to choose him over your own dreams and desires, doesn't care about you," like I do, "like he should. He should want to make you happy. He should be grateful for the love of such a beautiful, intelligent, driven young woman."
Sakura's head fell at his words. Her own insecurities, no doubt fueled by the constant mind games Sasuke used to play with her, made it hard for her to hear such flattery. Taking her chin in hand once again and lifting her eyes to his, the blond continued. "If he loves you, he should support you as much as you support him. Sakura-chan, do you hear what I'm trying to tell you?"
"Naruto-kun," only the whisper of his name escaped her soft lips, so choked with emotion any other thoughts flew from her mind.
"Sakura-chan," Naruto tenderly kissed her forehead. "Tell me I haven't waited too long. Or have I lost you to someone else." Again. A single tear slipped from the corner of a tightly shut eye and down a suddenly less boyish whiskered cheek.
"Naruto?" Sakura gasped as she wiped his tear away with the pad of her thumb. What is this? It can't be. "Naruto, there's…" It's now or never, "no one I love more than you." Without thinking, she rubbed the chakra scar on her upper arm, remembering the day Naruto slipped into the biiju's demon cloak and Yamato nearly voiced what had been clear to anyone with two eyes, yet what was still twisted in her heart. "I thought, after all these years that you'd lost interest." Tears began spilling from those emerald gems. "I didn't think…" The opposing dams broke as both sobbed uncontrollably, clinging to each other to remain on their feet.
As intimate friends, Naruto was always careful to keep composed and even the physical contact, though flirtatious, was as chaste as possible. But at that moment, he could no longer keep the true feelings for his Sakura to himself. What he had imagined as their first innocent kiss grew with such intensity it overthrew all of his higher reasoning. Now all he could do was try to let her know how he felt with this kiss. Every emotion he kept bottled up since the first time they met, as toddlers, when she smiled and waved at him before her father roughly pulled her away from the monster, that was this jinchuuriki…every nuance of love and passion that he felt for her, he tried to convey to Sakura's ever receptive lips.
Sakura felt every bit of sadness, loneliness, and pain that Naruto had ever endured in his short life and she couldn't help but to hold him tighter and try to comfort him. But before long, the kiss burned with so much hope, desire, and passion that she found herself lost in the tidal wave of emotions. I'm so sorry, Naruto-kun. I didn't realize. Breaking the kiss, Sakura trembled at the loss of contact, "Naruto-kun, can you ever forgive me?" The usually strong kunoichi found herself too nervous to wait for a response and averted her gaze.
"Sakura-chan," Naruto chuckled. "Do you really need to ask? I've loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you." It was his turn to blush at how freely the words tumbled from his lips. "Come with me," Naruto said as he took her hand in his. The two walked through the forest clearing, processing how their relationship swiftly changed before their very eyes. I hope she doesn't think I'm crazy. After finding the jacket he'd slung over a fallen tree, he placed the large jacket over the kunoichi's slim shoulders when something hard hit her hip.
"What was that?" Sakura wondered out loud.
"What was what?" Naruto asked, pretending not to know. Sakura reached into the inside pocket and felt a small velvety box.
"N-Naruto?" The kunoichi's eyes went wide with shock. In the meantime, Naruto had sat down on the fallen tree to watch her expression.
"There's a story behind the box that you're holding. Would you like to hear it?"
Not trusting her voice, she merely nodded and moved to sit next to the ever surprising young man. She was too nervous to hold onto the box and gave it to Naruto unopened. He smiled at the irony of her obvious anxiety. "When I was with Ero-sennin, he would always try to get me to go with different girls. He said it wasn't 'natural for a young man to live like a monk'."
"Naruto, you don't have to tell me this. Our relationship was so different back then. I don't care what you did back then."
The shinobi chuckled, "hush Sakura-chan, let me finish." A confused expression crossed her face, but she remained quiet so he could proceed. "I told Ero-sennin all about you, though I never mentioned your name. He told me that it was nice to have a girl back home waiting for you, but…well, I was sure you were waiting for Sasuke, and I think he figured out my dilemma."
Sakura cringed when she heard her former crush's name come from her new love's lips. "I made a vow to myself that I would do anything to make you happy. But there wasn't much I could do during the interim that I was away. It hurt so much being away from you. On one of the usual days when he was 'researching' and trying to set me up with random girls, I left him in the company of a group of women he was flirting with and went into a nearby shop. He was annoying me so much because he just couldn't seem to understand how much I loved you. I think he thought I was crazy. I just needed to get away, so I went into the shop not even knowing what kind it was. When I walked inside, it was weird, because I felt like I was supposed to be there. I moved toward the counter and that's when I saw it." He lifted the small box between them.
"There were so many things that I wanted to do for you, Sakura-chan. I would often spend my nights dreaming of the possibilities of us. I wanted to be there with you; to love you and protect you and heal the damage that Teme had done to your then fragile heart." A new wave of tears spilled from Sakura's eyes but she could not look away this time. Her heart thumping so hard in her chest, she was sure Naruto could hear it. "So you see, when I saw this," he slowly opened the box so she could see its contents. "It made me think of you and me together, at last."
He lifted the small gold and jade ring from the box so she could get a closer look. Sakura exhaled, wondering when she had stopped breathing. The gold intertwined with jade all around the ring and broke off to lift a small emerald setting. "Naruto-kun," she breathed unable to find words.
"When I saw this, I thought immediately of all the promises I made to myself. I promised to return to you stronger so that we could…"
"You have, Naruto, you have." Thankful that she kept him from saying his name again, he took her hand in his.
"I also promised that, if you'd let me, I would love you for the rest of my life. I promised to take care of you in any and every way you needed. But mostly, I promised that you would never have to worry or wonder how I felt about you…I guess I didn't really do so well with that one. But Sakura-chan, from this day on, you will never have to wonder. You have my heart in your hands."
"Naruto-kun, I don't think I've ever been happier than I am right now."
"Really?" The childish innocence that his eyes conveyed faded as he began to form his next thought. "Well, I'm glad. Because then, I made a lot of promises to you. But now, I want them to be a reality; our reality." The blond kissed each finger of the kunoichi's left hand before placing the ring on her finger. "You'll probably think I'm crazy, but I've known what I wanted for a long time now. Marry me, Sakura-chan?"
"You're not crazy in the least bit. But I think I am. Naruto-kun, I realized that I'd fallen for you before you came back to Konoha. I missed you so much I thought I would go insane without you. The day you came back, I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around you and never let you go. But that Konohamaru, interrupted our moment." Shaking her head to get her thoughts in order, "I should have told you sooner how I felt. I should have let you know, that you were all I ever wanted. I just didn't realize it until after you were gone. I thought maybe, my chance had been lost."
Sakura-chan, you're killing me, yes or no. I know I've waited years but I can't wait anymore.
As if reading his thoughts, Sakura hugged him around the neck and cried softly into his shoulder. "Yes, Naruto-kun, if you will have me, then yes." Wrapping his arms around her, he sprang to his feet and brought her into a bear hug then kissed the top of her head, and set her on her feet. Taking her face between his hands, he bent to kiss her again. The pain of his past permanently locked away, as new hopes and dreams of the future whirled through his head.
Without warning, he broke off the kiss and sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "Um, Sakura-chan, can I ask you something?"
" Of course you can, you don't have to ask."
"Um, about that house full of kids..."