IM BACK MWAHAHAHAHAHA

No but seriously hi! I haven't completely given up on Royals but here's a new story with cross dressing murdering Levi!

Disclaimer: Don't own SNK

Have you ever been woken up by someone screaming in your ear? At four fucking thirty A.M? Because if you haven't, consider yourself lucky. As soon as I heard the scream I jerked awake knocking my forehead against someone else's. It was dark and I couldn't see anything. I squinted then reached over to turn my bedside laugh on. That resulted in my falling off my bed and bumping my already bruised forehead on the night side table.

"OW SON OF A BITCH THAT HURT!"

I heard someone cackle from above me. That would've scared the remaining shit out of me except I recognized that voice. I stumbled towards the light switch, and then walked into a wall. I banged my fist against it in fury and screamed;

"GOD DAMNIT HANJI JUST HELP ME!"

She let out another insane laugh then suddenly the room was flooded with light. I squinted at the sudden brightness then turned around to give my best friend a piece of my mind. "WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL HANJI? ITS FOUR FUCKING THIRTY HOWD YOU GET IN?"

She didn't answer me, just ran out yelling "We're going to headquarters! Get your shit together!" I followed her outside where she was waiting by the door. I crossed my arms stubbornly. "Oh hell no. You will NOT just burst into my room in the middle of the night and drag me into one of your schemes which will probably get me arrested, scarred for life or both!"

She smirked at me. "What if I told you we had information about Erwin Smith?"

My mind went blank for a second. It took me a minute to register what she had just said. I ran into my room and threw my clothes on at lightning speed, then ran outside and jumped into her car before she was even out the door. I started honking the wheel frantically. Hanji calmly slid in next to me and started the car.

"How'd you get in?"

"I stole your keys."

"That's creepy as fuck."

She just hummed in response.

When we got to headquarters she commented; "This is probably the most emotion you've showed. Ever!" I glared at her then jumped out of the car. "I finally have some information about this asshole. How the hell do you think I would act? Dumbass." She grinned at me. "Admit it, you love me!" I glared at her and flipped her off.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO DRESS LIKE A GIRL?!"

Hanji's boyfriend, Moblit was cowering behind his desk. "Th-he winter ball is tomorrow night and we just got news he's going." He squeaked out.

"SO WHY DO I HAVE TO DRESS LIKE A GIRL!?"

Hanji rolled her eyes. She was currently perched on Moblit's desk eating gummy worms. "How hard can it be? Put a dress on, dance, grab him and slit his throat!" She threw another handful of sugary candy down her throat.

She said it so casually it unnerved me. Moblit leaned forward and grabbed the bowl of candy from her. "Levi, I'm not sure if he'll pay attention to you if you look like that." He gestured to my face which was probably not very appealing at the moment. "Petra and Hanji already offered to help with the changes. We will escort you there along with Eld, Gunther, Farlan, Isabel and Ourou. But of course the mission is mostly up to you. Meet me here in the lobby at exactly 7:30 tomorrow."

I tried to soak up all that information. "Why can't Hanji do it instead?" Moblit looked at Hanji who was still perched on the desk happily scrolling through her phone. "She'd probably scare him off." He answered truthfully. Hanji turned to face him and giggled. "Awww you're just jealous that I might dump you for him!" She leaned in and pressed her lips to his. I turned my head in disgust but I was secretly happy that she had found someone she loved.

When they separated Hanji winked at me.

I leaned forward and narrowed my eyes at her. "Where's the information?"

Moblit grinned. "So you accept the mission."

I took a deep breath. "I do."

He handed me a thin folder. I opened it checking through each paper. I found a picture of him and sucked in a breath. The last time I had seen him was 3 years ago. The night of the incident. Underneath his picture was the following information.

Name: Erwin Smith

Status: Alive

Age: 20

Fault: Murder

Notes: He has planned to meet one of the members (Name unknown) of the 104th at the Winter Ball

That was it. Nothing else. I was disappointed. That's all they got? The 104th was an amateur assassin group full of stupid brats who weren't put of school yet.

"Come on! Let's go check out your costume!" Hanji chirped.

I just stared at her. "Hanji, its 4:00 am. I'm going home."

I walked out the door then walked back in realizing it was her car and I would have to wait for her.

"HANJI GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE AND DRIVE ME HOME!"

"CALM YOUR DAMN TITS LEVI ILL BE THERE IN A SECOND!"

Moblit's voice rang through the halls.

"YOU GUYS SHUT THE HELL UP YOUR GOING TO WAKE UP THE WHOLE BUILDING!"

Hanji screamed back at him. "NO ONES IN THE CASTLE AT 4:00 AM!"

Moblit replied in a normal voice. "Hanji, I'm sitting right next to you please be quiet."

Hanji cackled then joined me outside.

The next day I found myself sitting in one of the many rooms at headquarters, sitting on a stool, surrounded by Petra's makeup kit.

Hanji was currently applying lipstick on me and Petra was trying to find a suitable wig. I glared at my reflection. I looked incredibly stupid with eye shadow and lipstick on. Hanji ran a brush through my hair, and then pulled my bangs into a high pony tail.

Great. I was Levi the palm tree now. Petra brought the wig over. It was shoulder length with heavy bangs to obscure my half of my face. She pulled it onto my head then adjusted it. "See, you look exactly like a girl!" I hated to admit it but I did look way more feminine than before. Hanji added some last minute touches to my face then pulled me over to pick a dress. I grabbed a random black dress and jumped behind a screen to change.

When I came out, I could hardly recognize myself. My eyes were lined with a smoky eye liner and I had long hair brushing past my shoulders and covering half my face. The dress was loose on me so I could probably pass as a flat chested girl. I turned to look at Hanji who did a double take and adjusted her glasses.

Petra gave me a thumbs up then handed me my gun and knife I strapped the knife to my right thigh and the gun to my left. Hanji grinned and patted me on the back. She handed me a leather jacket and draped it over my shoulders. I raised an eyebrow but she pointed to my shoulder. Oh yeah. The tattoo. All the agents had a pair of overlapped wings tattooed onto their right shoulder. I pulled the jacket closer and looked at into the mirror one last time.

Time to kill an asshole.

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K BYE!