Disclaimer: I Do not Own Naruto
A/N the italicized, bolded words before the story are actually song lyrics and i've written them in the way I feel Hinata would think as she saw Naruto, lying on the ground, giving up. But read them how you perceive them. Also this story is set around the Pain and Naruto fight, so it's around the time Naruto is defeated and on the ground but before the demon fox takes control.
Chapter 1:
Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'll be the one, if you want me to.
Anywhere, I would've followed you. Say something, I'm giving up on you.
And I am feeling so small. It was over my head. I know nothing at all.
And I will stumble and fall. I'm still learning to love. Just starting to crawl.
Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
And I will swallow my pride. You're the one that I love. And I'm saying goodbye.
( Song: Say Something Artist: A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera Lyricist(s): Ian Axel and Chad Vaccarino)
As I Lay Dying
Naruto lay there on the barren landscape that used to be called his home. The wind, no longer his friend scattered the dust dolefully across the ground and his broken body causing him to choke up on the bitterness of the mixture.
What is the point in all this? He wondered. He was tired of fighting, what was so wrong with defeat? He was ready now, ready to accept it. He laughed maniacally in his head; who would have thought Naruto Uzumaki would give up, go back on his word and admit defeat. Oh well it was tiring, he was tired. All he did was fight, fight, fight, fight, fight and with enough resolve to move an army. How he held on for so long he didn't even know, where did the determination even come from?
He had always smiled when inside he was really hurting, charged ahead when inside he was completely lost and held on to his sanity as a beast rampaged inside of him. If that wasn't hard enough he also carried everyone's faith on his own shoulders and it wasn't light. Well now it had finally taken it's toll, he was falling down, down, down and fast. Deep into the abyss where he couldn't be saved. It was funny, everyone had always told him when you die, you see a kind of blinding white light that carries away all your troubles and welcomes you into the fold. But here as he lay dying all he saw were splotches of darkness that kept getting larger and larger. He would soon be completely blinded in the dark. It seemed that even in death he was a demon, driven into the darkness.
Oh well, he was ready to welcome death, he wasn't afraid of the dark; he'd practically been born into it. In fact in the dark he saw clearer, like right now his mind was finally perceivable, translucent.
Mother, Father? Did I let you down? Forgive me for my absolve
Jiraiya? Not everyone's a hero like the one in your book. In fact what is a hero? A person who's good? A person with courage? A person who disrupts evil?
A person's never completely good, there's two sides to every coin, after all. As for courage it is as simple as a trick in the mind, a perception that tries to fool reality.
Regarding the question of a hero as a being who can disrupt evil. The one and only answer is NO because anything can disrupt evil, even greater evil.
You might say the right word is conquer evil not disrupt however I came to realize that that's absolutely impossible. As long as humans exist there will be both love and hatred. It's impossible to have one without the other. And hatred will always without a doubt lead to evil. As a student of yours so cruelly sums up "We are all just ordinary people driven to revenge in the name of justice. But if revenge is called justice, then that justice breeds yet more revenge and becomes a chain of hatred."
So as he lay there dying Naruto asked himself again, what is the point in all this?
"NARUTO, YOU HAVE TO FIGHT, YOU HAVE TO SURVIVE" he heard a voice he'd only ever heard quiet shout loud. Hinata, it must be he thought as he felt a sharp pain in his heart.
Even now as he lay on the dusty ground, covered in both warm and dried up blood deep rich red in colour. Broken bones hidden underneath, twisted and cracked in odd positions. Bruises and dirt caking his skin blending in with the ravaged earth. Even now in this broken, weakened state of his, they still had faith, she still believed in him. He almost would have laughed, at her blindness if it wasn't for the sickening blows he heard as Pain destroyed Hinata, who had so foolishly tried to fight him in vain. Why? He would have screamed in anger and frustration but his energy had rapidly depleted. Anyway no matter, how loud he could have shouted, deep down he knew the answer, it was love.
He heard the loud impact of her crushed body, as Hinata was slammed onto the hardened ground. She let out a sickening, bloodcurdling screech only stopping, as she retched up blood. Naruto forced his eyelids open, fighting the darkness just for a few minutes so he could find her. She was foolish he thought distressingly as he saw her crippled body clinging to life but he was willing to forgive her because not too long ago, he was even more foolish. Luckily she wasn't too far away so with the last bit of his old determination he shifted himself along the ground, wiggling his broken body till he was by her side.
"Naruto-Kun, I'm sorry, I wanted to save you" she said in a barely audible whisper as tears slid down her face.
He slowly took her hand and whispered back, surprised by the hoarseness and quietness in his own voice "Forgive me, Hinata, I didn't want saving, I'm afraid I have wasted your life for I am no longer who you think I am. I can't bring peace not in this world with hate just as prominent as love. It would be a fruitless endeavour because even if hate was to disappear so would love and then what is a world without love?
"Your wrong" she whispers, struggling to form those words on her lips with her staggering breathes.
"I'm sorry Hinata but I gave up on both that dream and living in this beautiful and cruel world…...But if such a world; full of love and free of hate was plausible, I would fight to the death to achieve it. And once attained, I would spend the rest of my days happily by your side." He whispered back pain in his voice and his will clearly shattered.
So cold, he thought as he felt her hand go limp. It was a weird feeling he couldn't even pinpoint where the coldness was coming from. Was it his body? His heart? Her hand? He was turning numb; he could hardly feel the tears sliding down his, paled cheeks or the stinging pain in his heart. His senses were starting to shut down and his consciousness on the brink of slipping away.
It was time he decided, with the last wasps of his corroding will, he decided to choose peace, peace within. He wasn't some God, he couldn't become a hero and bring peace to all but he was his own person and he could make his own decision however, twisted or selfish it may seem. So he wasn't going to fight for his life, he was going to give in. He wasn't going to stay trapped in this world or fight for a lost cause. It was time to be free; he was tired of being caged. So whether death brought him to heaven, hell, or simply oblivion, as Naruto Uzumaki lay dying with his last ounce of consciousness he reached for freedom.
Thank you for reading, I really hope you liked it. Please COMMENT/REVIEW I would love to hear all your responses. Also if your interested in me as a fanfic writer please check out my other Naruto story called Worth The Trouble.
If you want to listen to the song of which I used the lyrics to it's called, Say Something and by A Great Big World ft Christina Aguilera. I recommend listening, it's a beautiful song and it somewhat inspired me to write this. Here's the link (v=iC8tP9Oo52Y) you can just copy and paste that straight into the youtube search bar.
