i missed you, a supernatural fanfic

Summary: a brief deancas coda based on these pictures (x) - takes place between 9x20-9x21

Finally, after several moments of strained silence, the angel took a step back from Dean's rigid body. Right before Castiel did, though, he whispered something in Dean's ear, speaking so quietly that his confession almost went unnoticed.

"I missed you."

Author's Note:I was going to focus on "I'll Have The Usual", but I couldn't help but write something about ep 9x21 based on the new promo pictures. They were just begging to be explained. Enjoy, and, as usual, you can always join me on tumblr!

"Finally," Dean mumbled as he and Sam walked up the stairs leading to Castiel's fancy new office, both peering anxiously through the glass to get a glimpse of the angel's lair.

It had been a couple weeks since Dean had received Castiel's frantic phone call and had hustled Sam into the Impala, wasting absolutely no time driving to the angels' secret headquarters.

As they'd parked alongside the road, Dean eyed the building suspiciously. The place seemed pretty unassuming from the outside, but, after walking through the entrance, the inside had him wondering if he'd somehow stepped into an alternate dimension.

Who would've ever thought that Mr. I Don't Understand That Reference would be holed up in a place filled to the brim with modern technology? Dean definitely hadn't considered it, and he didn't imagine that anyone who had known the angel beforehand would've thought of it either.

The countless evenings he'd spent wondering what Cas had become, what he was like now that he led a small squadron of pathetically obedient fallen angels and whether the new role had changed him or left him exactly the same, were those that he refused to discuss or acknowledge out loud. It kept him awake most nights, tossing and turning in a bed that- he really wished he hadn't considered it but- could easily accommodate another person.

Every morning, though, Sam never said a word. He knew Dean better than anyone else and quickly learned to ignore the dark circles under his brother's eyes after another sleepless night. He never addressed the issue, and, considering the stilted nature of their relationship recently, it was probably because he didn't care. Or, if Dean were lucky, maybe he just wanted to avoid another fight.

Quite honestly, Dean wasn't sure what he'd expected of good ol' Team Free Will's next meeting. He also did't know how he felt about the whole "thoughts of Castiel kept me from getting any goddamn sleep for the past couple weeks" issue. But, he did know one thing for sure: angels shouldn't be working out of a place like this.

The angel, whose name Dean could't seem to remember, gestured toward the nearest door and smiled. "He's in here."

Dean eyed the room skeptically. He'd been fooled too many times to just blindly accept orders. Plus, the headquarters' setup bothered him, and he couldn't seem to wrap his head around everything he'd seen since entering the building. It was… well, it was fucking weird.

Reluctantly, Dean stepped through the door with Sam trailing behind him, looking just as uncomfortable as his brother felt. He was pleased to see that he wasn't the only one who didn't feel right about the angels' new home away from home. The two had taken maybe three steps into the room before Dean froze, eyes widening.

Pictures and maps covered the walls, ranging from black and white images of Metatron's hideous face to ones of the sky on the night the angels had fallen from heaven. The pictures appeared to be grouped together, carefully arranged by whoever had hung them. Dean slowly surveyed the space, taking in the impressive collection of evidence, before coming to rest on the man standing over a pin board in the center of the room.

Even turned away, Castiel looked exactly the same as when Dean had last seen him. The trench coat, not as ratty or threadbare as the original, was still comfortably in place, although the blue tie had mysteriously vanished. The pants, the button down shirt, the shoes- nothing had changed. He couldn't tell exactly what Cas was doing from this angle, but he caught a glimpse of a pen clasped tightly in his hand. Dean's gaze leisurely progressed up the angel's body, skimming over the coat and outstretched arm, before eventually focusing in on the back of his head, smiling softly at the sight of his disheveled hair.

Admittedly, Castiel's unchanged appearance eased some of Dean's concern. When he'd first walked into the headquarters, he had grudgingly accepted the inevitability of Castiel's transformation. It only made sense that the new position would change him, whether it be small, subtle differences that only Dean would notice or obvious ones that even Sam would be able to detect.

And yet there he stood, dressed in his usual outfit, sporting the same adorably mussed hairstyle. Strangely, it was probably the best thing that had happened to Dean in weeks. Based on the bullshit he'd had to endure recently, he'd expected to fail miserably at identifying the angel as his best friend when they met again.

"Long time no see," Dean mumbled, unable to keep a smile off his face.

Castiel visibly stiffened and turned, piercing blue eyes widening like Dean's had when he'd first walked in the room. Shock quickly gave way to excitement, twisting his surprised gape into a delighted grin. Castiel rarely smiled. Hell, Dean could probably only count the number of times he'd seen the angel's upturned lips on one hand.

Then, the realization hit him: he'd really missed the son of bitch. The two had only been separated for a few weeks, but it felt as if they'd been apart for years. The thought- along with many other unsettling ones- prodded at Dean's brain, excitedly pushing the word "love" to the forefront of his mind. It scared the hell out of him, and he immediately tried to shove it back into his subconscious, where he could continue to avoid addressing the truth behind it.

Before Dean could say anything else, something disastrous, Castiel strode across the room and hugged him.

In every single one of Dean's imagined scenarios, he had been the one to hug Castiel. The idea of things being the other way around had never even crossed his mind. It had seemed far too ridiculous at the time, but, now that he thought about it, Cas had always done a pretty good job of surprising him.

Castiel clung to Dean as if he may disappear at any moment, as if he were a sinking ship in need of an anchor. It had been months since someone had embraced Dean the way Castiel was, like he was actually deserving of love, of compassion, of adoration. Only Sam and Bobby had shown him affection in the past few years, and, even then, that hadn't happened since he and Sam had fought. So, naturally, Dean allowed himself to indulge and appreciate the moment.

Carefully, he wrapped his arms around Castiel, drawing him in a little closer. He considered resting his chin on the angel's shoulder and fully reciprocating the hug, but decided against it. There were other people in the room, people who wouldn't understand the relationship Dean and Cas shared. Instead, he turned his head away. The unfazed expression on the other angel's face didn't surprise Dean, but the pleased look on Sam's face certainly shocked him.

Of course, he wasn't really sure why his brother's response surprised him. This wasn't the first time, after all. There had been several occasions when Cas had said something strange-or he had said something strange- and he had quickly turned to gauge Sam's reaction. Every time, without fail, his brother looked relieved by their interaction, as if it were exactly what he'd hoped for.

Dean swallowed nervously, but didn't push Cas away. He just needed to keep his expression neutral, to hide the maelstrom of confusing emotions swirling through his head as Castiel continued to cling to him. He had done it before, and he could certainly do it again. The only time he'd truly allowed his need for Cas to show through had been in Purgatory, when he'd practically thrown himself at the ragged angel. But Benny was the only one who'd witnessed that, and Dean wanted to keep it that way.

"I missed you."

Dean struggled to maintain his disinterested expression. The words completely caught him off guard, more unexpected than Castiel's abrupt display of affection. They played on a continuous loop in his head as he watched Castiel wrap his arms around Sam in a brief hug. Dean didn't even hear what the two said to each other, didn't hear anything at all, completely numb to the world around him. I missed you, I missed you, I missed you.

The next few minutes seemed to fly by. Dean could only remember informing Castiel about all of the information he and Sam had dug up about Metatron, reciting each detail like a mindless robot, and listening to the angel provide his own findings in return. The exchange went well, but it still passed by uneventfully in his eyes. He was far too distracted by what the angel had admitted to pay attention to a discussion centered around Heaven's biggest douche bag.

Once finished, the three prepared to leave the room and head down to where the rest of Castiel's lackeys eagerly waited, ready for their master's next order. Being his usual cryptic self, Sam shot Castiel a significant look before quickly fleeing from the room before either man could beat him to it.

Dean and Cas both stood and headed toward the doorway, moving with the same frantic haste as Sam. Dean wondered if Castiel could tell just how distressed he'd been throughout their conversation. He'd hoped to hide it, but it was hard to keep all of your emotions hidden from a fucking angel.

"I missed you, too," Dean suddenly blurted, hating himself the moment the words spilled out of his mouth.

Fantastic. Right as Castiel had stepped through the entryway, word vomit had gotten the best of Dean. The phrase he'd been dying to say for… no, he'd wanted to say it for far longer than that. The declaration had been on the tip of his tongue for a long time, and his brain had just decided that now was the right moment to let it all out.

Cas stopped but didn't turn to face Dean as he spoke. Softly, a smile clear in his voice, he replied, "I know, Dean. I know."