SilverOrDaggers: Hey! This is my first ever story, though not my first fanfiction. I've been too scared to publish 'till now 0.0
Hiei: Get on with it, onna.
Kuwabara: Hey, how come I got no lines in this chapter?
Hiei: Because you're an idiot and no one wants to hear you make a fool of yourself.
Kuwa: You little punk! You think you're so smart? Let's see when I pound you, demon or not! *starts toward Hiei*
SilverOrDaggers: Oh, hush, both of you. Anyway, I hope you like it! Disclaimers, because we have to: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its characters. I own my story and my OC. That's it. (Also, I got the idea for my author's notes from reading a couple different ff7 and yyh fics which had authors interacting with characters. Seems to be a kind of established thing, but since I'm new, I'll put it out there that the style isn't my original idea.)
Aaand, onward!
God, what a day, I thought as I turned the steaming hot water off. Could I sleep for the rest of my life? That'd be lovely. Probably would mean a pretty short life, though. Hmm.
I stepped out of the shower onto the tile floor and wrapped a black towel around me. Another bound up my hair, turban-style. I glanced at the mirror, but it was so fogged up I could see only a blur where my reflection should be. Not that it mattered, really; I was just going to bed. I flicked the fan switch on as I left the bathroom, hoping that it would take care of the steam, despite past experience (it had done absolutely nothing from day one, but I still held out hope).
When I reached my room I finished drying my hair, then dropped the towel carelessly on the ground. I straightened up, flipping my hair back and adjusting the towel still around my body as I moved, and then turned to my closet to look for a t-shirt to wear to bed.
A blue haired, pink robed girl poked her head out from between the clothes.
I screamed and jumped about three feet.
"Hiya!" the girl's hand materialized in a wave. I screamed again.
"Oh, shh," she waved a hand and stepped out of the closet. "I'm not going to hurt you!"
"Fuckshitshitfuck, oh my - what the hell? Who the hell are you and what the fuck are you doing in my room?" I screamed. "Oh my god!" I ran for the door, but she grabbed the back of my towel and yanked me back. I fell right on my bum and looked up at her, my fear fading as I saw that while she looked ridiculous, her face was happy and open, not threatening in the least.
"My name is Botan, and I'm here to talk to you!" she said. "I'm sorry I scared you. I thought you'd think me coming this way was funny and kawaii! And you Americans are always on about kawaii." I stared at her, uncomprehending. "Are you alright?" she offered a hand to me. I ignored it and stood up on my own.
"Fine," I muttered. "But seriously, who the hell are you? What the fuck do you think you're doing breaking into somebody's house and hiding in the fucking closet? I don't even know you! Oh my god, are you some crazy stalker?" I lunged for the pepper spray I kept under my pillow and pointed it at her. She sighed.
"Calm down. Not everything's as it seems. I'm here to ask for your help!"
"What do you mean by that?" I asked, mentally calculating how many seconds it would take me to get to the nearest phone and call the police. She'd been quick, but maybe...
"I'll show you!" she grabbed my wrist faster than my eyes could follow and dragged me towards her. I screamed again and the world swirled around me.
Oh my god she drugged me! I don't think I'd ever been so scared in my life. Colors hit me in waves and I had the sensation of floating - flying, maybe - for several moments until for the second time in as many minutes I landed flat on my bum.
In a towel.
In front of five men.
"What the fuck?" I screamed, pulling my thin black layer of protection around me more tightly. I saw the blue haired girl next to me and scrambled up to hide behind her. "What the hell are you thinking, you freak?"
"Whoops!" she blushed, glancing back at me apologetically. "You were freaking out so much! I just wanted to get you here so we could explain things to you! I was flustered!" yeah, she sounded pretty flustered now.
"Damn, this is the chick you told us about?" One of the guys asked. "What a babe! Sign her up for our team!"
"Yusuke, please," another one said in a much calmer voice. "The girl is obviously frightened; try not to make it worse."
"I am going to kill you." I growled at the girl in front of me. She laughed nervously and tried to inch away from me but I grabbed her arms and held her in front of me, not bothering to keep my nails from digging painfully into her skin.
"H-hey, why don't we get you a change of clothes and then come back to talk about -"
"No," I said, my voice still dangerously low, "you are going to send someone to get me a robe, and then you are going to tell me what the bloody hell is going on, and then you are going to take me home."
"Ehh...Koenma, sir?" she addressed one of her companions. "Could we see about getting her a robe?"
"Here," I peeked over her shoulder in time to see the man - teenager? I couldn't tell his age - produce a robe seemingly out of thin air. I bit back a gasp. I was definitely on drugs. I mean, the guy had a fuckin' pacifier in his mouth. Oh, god...I just hoped they didn't do anything bad to me. Or that I was dreaming.
"Here," the girl reached back awkwardly to give me the robe, which I snatched up and put on, not bothering to remove my towel beneath it. The more layers, the better, I figured. Fortunately, It came down to my ankles, providing enough coverage for me to feel a bit better about stepping out from behind the girl.
Looking around the room, I saw it had light green walls, a light pink and yellow desk with a chair behind it and a blue tile floor. Pillars ran the length of the room, though they looked more ornamental than functional. My only thought was that clearly the decorator had a thing for ugly colors.
I suddenly had the urge to cry. But that wouldn't solve anything, so I swallowed hard, blinked, and said in a perfectly controlled voice, "Someone tell me what is going on. Now."
"My name is Koenma," said the guy who'd conjured the robe. "I am the acting ruler of the Spirit World."
"What the hell's -"
"The Spirit World is exactly what it sounds like. It is a place for spirits. It's where you humans go when you die, the place where your fate is decided. It's also where we take care of administrative matters, store information, etcetera."
"Right," I said. This kid's crazy. They're all crazy. I'm definitely dreaming. I must be!
"There is much to tell you, but for now we'll stick to the short version," he continued. "Most humans know nothing of the existence of the Spirit and Demon worlds - yes, there's a Demon world as well, and that, too is exactly what it sounds like - but a select few humans, who possess special talents, are chosen to act as protectors of the Human Realm. We call them Spirit Detectives.
"The two boys to your left are examples of such people," he pointed to a tall, orange haired guy and a shorter, dark haired one. The orange haired one was looking at me with a mixture of embarassment and attraction, while the other was arrogant enough to wink at me and grin. I threw them both a dirty look.
"The two to your right," Whoa, freaks, much? Wicked cool hair. Bet they're into the punk scene. "Are demons in my service. They also work to protect the realm of mortals."
Okay, scratch the bit about the punk scene.
"Now, I'm sure what you're really wondering is why we've brought you here."
I gave him a withering look - Spirit Ruler be dammned - and didn't deign to reply.
"You are a strange case, Miss Anderson." Yikes. He knew my name.
"How so?" I played along. Might as well; if it was a dream, it didn't matter and if (less likely) it was real, then I needed as much information as I could get.
"You don't remember your parents, do you?"
"No," I admitted. "I grew up in an orphanage."
"Yes," he nodded. "Well, as I said, you are a strange case. You are the product of a human and demonic union, a rare occurance indeed." He paused a moment, until I realized I was supposed to react.
"Okay...?"
He huffed a little at my lack of shock. "This means that you possess very valuable talents which quialify you to be a Spirit Detective!"
I couldn't help it; I laughed.
"This is far from a laughing matter, Miss Anderson!"
"Oh, oh my god," I managed to squeeze the words out while still laughing, "this is crazy. Batshit crazy...ah..." I recovered myself and looked about more amiably than before. "So how do I wake myself up, exactly?"
"Excuse me?" Koenma said.
"Usually I wake up the minute I'm sure it's a dream..." I walked to one of the walls and started pushing on it. Funny, it felt as solid as a wall in the waking world. "I mean, really, this has been interesting, but I'm tired of it." I tried snapping my fingers in front of my face. Didn't work.
"Is there a window I could jump out of?" I asked, turning to face them again.
"What?" both Koenma and Botan (that was the blue haired girl's name; I remembered now) shouted.
"Miss Anderson, you are not dreaming!" Koenma exclaimed.
"Oh, bullshit," I said, barely looking at them. "Ah, here we go," I found a window along the back wall, opened it, and hopped up on the sil.
"Not today, human," A voice said behind me, and suddenly I was tugged back, falling through the air until -
I hit the floor.
I hit the fucking floor.
My eyes widened.
"Oh, god," I whispered. I stood up slowly, blinked, rubbed my face and turned around to find them all staring at me. "I'm...I'm not dreaming."
Yaaay Chapter 1! Reviews welcome, but no flames, of course.