Disclaimer: This is a Rossi/Strauss story, I love Rossi, I love Strauss and therefore I love Rossi and Strauss. I don't own the characters or anything dealing with Criminal Minds, except this story. I don't like the way they killed off Erin, so I change it to suit my own twisted mind.
This is what happens when I have too much time on my hands, a power outage and a full laptop battery. Reviews are appreciated, but be nice please, you can tell me you hate it without being mean.
This story was written for AgentWannaBe, something they said one time stuck in my head so I wrote this for them.
Rossi's Horror
David Rossi and Jennifer Jareau left the BAU on their way to revisit the dumpsite of their latest case in Aquia Harbour, VA. Getting into the SUV they drove out of the parking lot, off the Marine Base, merging on to the I-95 south. Pulling up into the lot at the park, they got out and headed for the wooded area just past the swings. Walking the perimeter something felt off to Rossi.
"JJ get to the SUV, this doesn't feel right. The hair on the back of my neck is standing up." Dave said pushing her toward the parking lot. Everyone on the team trusted Dave's intuition.
As they approached the Suburban a van pulled up, two men jumped out with semi automatic weapons pointed at them, taking their weapons, credentials and cell phones. "Get in the van, both of you."
Doing as they were told, Rossi pulled JJ behind him keeping himself between the gunmen and her. "What do you want?"
"You, Agent Rossi, we want you." The second gunman spat tying both up and blindfolding them.
"Fine, you have me, let her go. She doesn't need to be here." Dave said.
Laughing, "Why would we do that? As long as we have her, you might behave." They traveled for almost an hour. Stopping at an old farm house off a back road, the kidnappers escorted them to a shack behind the main house. Took off the blindfolds, sat them in chairs, tied them up then left.
"Rossi, do you know these guys, any idea what they want with you?" JJ whispered.
Shaking his head, "No, but I'm sure I've made a lot of enemies in my lifetime." Looking around Dave tried to loosen the ropes that held him to the chair.
/
Sometime later the two men came back. The younger of the two, walked to JJ ran his finger down her face, "You are a pretty thing. I bet we could have some fun." JJ pulled back.
"Don't touch her, you said it's me you want fine you do whatever you want to me, but you don't touch her." Dave yelled at them. "You touch her and when I get out of here and I will, I'll kill you myself."
Stepping away from JJ they untied Rossi and lead him out of the shack. Returning him a while later, they tied him back up. He was bleeding and she could see he was hurt.
"Rossi, what happened? You're bleeding."
"I'm fine." Dave said wincing as he took a deep breath.
"Do you know why they took us or what they want with you?"
Again Dave winced, "From what I gathered, I had something to do with the death of their father. They blame me, and this is payback."
/
Aaron Hotchner walked into the conference room, "Any word for Dave and JJ?"
"Nothing." Morgan said. "I've tried to call both their cells and they go straight to voicemail."
"Morgan, you and Blake drive out to the park and see what the hell is going on."
/
Arriving at the park, they saw the other agents SUV in the lot. Walking around, they didn't see any sign of Rossi or JJ. Morgan opened the truck; nothing seemed out of place, closing the door her spotted Dave's wallet on the ground by the front wheel. "Something's wrong, I need to call Hotch." Taking out his phone and dialing. "Hotch, we're at the park, the Suburban is here, but there's no sign of Dave or JJ, but I did find Rossi's wallet on the ground under the front wheel."
"We'll be right there, don't touch anything."
/
The rest of the team arrived at the park, each with an assignment. The only clue seemed to be Rossi's wallet. "Whoever has them must not have seen him drop this." Hotch said.
Looking inside, Morgan commented. "Looks like everything is here, driver's licenses, credit cards, and cash, why does the man need to carry around this much cash?"
Smiling, "He's Rossi." Hotch commented, "Now let's get to work, they've been gone at least 5 hours and we have no clues. Morgan, you take their vehicle back, have it gone over and see if there is anything we've missed. "
Heading to the cars, Morgan asked, "Hotch, are you going to tell Strauss and Will?"
"I don't see how I can't tell them, especially Erin. We all know she'll stop in to see Dave sometime in the day or at least try to call him. I'm surprised she hasn't already."
/
/
Back at the farm, the unsubs had come for Rossi again. This time when they brought him back they didn't tie him up; they just pushed him in the shack and locked the door. When he didn't move JJ became increasingly worried.
"Rossi," No answer, "Rossi, talk to me." She heard him moan a little and saw him move. "Dave, what did they do?"
Trying to sit up, "I'm okay."
"Rossi you're not okay." JJ screamed, needing to find a way to get some help, she didn't know what they were doing to Rossi when they took him away, but knew he couldn't take much more. He was in good shape, but he wasn't as young as she or Morgan.
They took him one more time that day. When he came back, they untied JJ and gave her a couple blankets, towels and washcloths. Once they'd gone she looked for a way out, finding nothing, she took the cloths, wet them and tried to clean some of the blood.
Standing with some help, Rossi looked out the window; it was made of something unbreakable. He'd tried to put his elbow through it.
"Damn it Rossi, stop. You're hurt enough without you doing more damage to yourself." JJ begged.
Sitting on the edge of a chair, "I'm fine JJ. Stop worrying about me."
"You're not fine, you're bleeding and those wounds are going to get infected if we don't do something." She looked at him, but he wouldn't look at her, he'd look anywhere but at her. Stooping in front of him, she took his hands, made him look at her, "Dave, what are they doing to you? Will you tell me?"
Shaking his head, he stood walking away from her. Evening turned to night; it was getting cold in the shack. Dave noticed JJ shiver; taking one of the blankets he wrapped it around her, then took her hand and led her to the small bed in the corner. Making her lay down, he covered her with the second blanket. "You better get some rest."
"What about you, you need to sleep too."
"I'll be fine." Dave said again.
"Stop telling me you're fine or that you'll be okay." JJ said sitting up. "Rossi lay down here, we can both sleep and the body heat will help keep us warm." Reluctantly Dave lay down beside her, covering both, he tried to sleep. Hearing his partners breathing even, he closed his eyes, but sleep never came.
/
/
Erin and Will sat in the conference room with the rest of the team listening to Hotch talk. When he was finished, Strauss stood. "What do you mean you don't know where they are or what happened to them?"
"Ma'am…Erin, They were working on a case, they went to the dumpsite and disappeared. The SUV was still there but they weren't. We did find this." Morgan said handing Erin Strauss-Rossi her husband's wallet.
Without even opening it, Erin knew, "its David's wallet."
"Can you look through it and tell us if there is anything missing, or out of place?" Hotch asked.
Erin opened it, looking through the contents, "I don't see anything missing."
"What about pictures, he doesn't seem to have any pictures. That's kind of unusual isn't it?" Alex asked.
Shaking her head, "No, he doesn't carry pictures in his wallet. That way if something happens like today, no one can tell he has a family. Nowhere in his wallet does he carry anything that might give an unsub any insight to our personal life. He told me that kept the kids and I safer, off the radar."
"Well he's right there, the less you carry on you the less an unsub can learn. Right now we have to find some clues to where they've been taken, if they're hurt and why someone would want them." Hotch said running his hands over his face. "It's been almost 9 hours, and it's dark out there. Erin, Will why don't you go home get some sleep. I'll call when we know something."
"I'm not leaving this building until we know where David and JJ are and that they're safe." Strauss said, everyone knew she was standing her ground. "Does the director know we've two missing agents?"
"Yes, I called him earlier."
/
/
Sometime in the night JJ woke, reach to touch Rossi, he wasn't there, the bed was empty. Looking around the dark shack, she spotted him sitting in a corner bleeding again. His shirt was ripped this time. Climbing off the bed she went to squat in front of him, "Dave, what is it?"
"Nothing, I'm fine." He whispered.
Reaching for his hand, he pulled it away. "Rossi, come on you need some rest and you won't get it setting on this cold floor. Lie back down and try to sleep. I'll protect you tonight."
"You can't protect me, JJ. We have to get you out of here. I have to find a way for you to get away." Dave said sitting on the edge of the bed. So far they hadn't touched JJ, but he knew it was only a matter of time before they did…to watch him suffer.
/
/
Sometime after 2 AM Aaron Hotchner walked by Dave's office, the light was on. Opening the door he saw Erin Strauss-Rossi standing staring out into the rainy Virginia night. She was clenching one of the pillows from his couch to her breast. Sensing the unit chief she whispered keeping her eyes on the window, "They've been out there for a long time. If we have no clues how are we going to find them?"
"Erin, they're both smart, Dave is a brilliant agent, they'll find a way to let us know something."
"What if they can't, Aaron? I'm not ready to lose him." Tear began to slip from her eyes, but she wouldn't let him see it.
Walking into the room and up behind her, Hotch took her shoulders, turned her to face him and embraced her in a hug. "I won't let you lose him, Erin. I promise we'll find them.' Pulling away, "Now you need to get some rest. He will need you when we find them. Why don't you lie down on the couch over there and try to rest. I'll come get you, when we hear something."
She nodded, sat on the couch, then stretched out, Hotch reached for the throw on the back and covered her, "Hug the pillow and try and rest." He knew she clasped the pillow because it smelled like Dave.
Closing the door Hotch walked down the stairs into the bullpen, "She doing okay?" Morgan asked. '
"She's worried like the rest of us. Hopefully she'll sleep for a couple hours. We should all try to get some rest. I know none of us are leaving but everyone find a place to stretch out and catch some sleep. We won't do either of them any good if we are exhausted. Not much we can do tonight anyway." He left and went into his own office, wondering if they didn't get any more clues than they had now, how in the hell he was going to find JJ and his best friend.
/
/
Dave woke startled, sitting up he looked over and JJ was still resting. Standing up he explored the shack again. He had to find a way to get her out of there. Wincing in pain, he saw a light through a board in one wall. He did his best to make the opening bigger, finally he moved the board it made a cracking sound.
JJ sat up, "Rossi, what are you doing?"
"I think I found a way to get you out of here." Pulling on the board next to the loose one, it moved as well. "You should be able to squeeze through this space. When they come for me, you shimmy out and run like hell. Go get help." Dave instructed.
"I'm not going to leave you." She said.
Holding his side, "If you don't we may neither one get out of here. If you escape at least we have a chance."
"Never leave your partner, isn't that what we're taught? I don't want to leave you."
"I'm not asking you, Agent Jareau, I'm giving you an order as your superior." Dave ordered. Tears in her eyes, she nodded. Rossi hugged her, "I'll be okay, you just get help. Promise me, you'll not stop running until you're far away from here."
"I promise."
"One more thing, if something happens to me, make sure Erin knows how much I love her. Promise me."
"She knows, Rossi."
"JJ, promise me."
Again JJ told him. "I promise, but nothing's going to happen to you."
Whispering to himself, "It already has."
/
Erin woke while it was still dark, standing she looked out the window again; she could see the sun began to make its appearance. She didn't hear the door open as she whispered, "David, where are you and Jennifer? Hang in there Amante'."
She hadn't heard the door open or close until she sensed someone behind her. Turning she walked in the open arms of Director Andrew Shepherd, as he wrapped them tightly around her she began to sob. "Andy, what if we don't find them? I can't lose him, not like this."
"Kiddo, Dave's tough, and he's clever they'll be fine."
Wiping her eyes and stepping back, "What if he's not, Andy? The last thing he heard me say was how he didn't care about anyone but himself. I was angry, not at him, but at the circumstances, a situation he had no control over, but I took it out on him. I didn't tell him I love him, like I should have, I said only mean things before I left for that meeting."
"Erin, don't beat yourself up, we all say things we don't mean and Dave is a smart man, he knows you love him. Now let's see what Hotch and the team are up to, maybe there is something new this morning."
/
Just as the sun was coming up, the two men came into the shack again. Grabbing Rossi, "Today is going to be more fun than yesterday. Let's go."
As soon as they had gone JJ counted to twenty, moved to the opening Dave had made. Pulling back the boards she slipped out the hole, headed for the wooded area that ran parallel to the road. She wasn't sure how long she'd been running, but the sun was almost overhead so she knew from her training it was almost noon. They'd been gone over 24 hours; turning to her left some she searched for a main road, silently praying that they wouldn't hurt Rossi anymore. She wondered as she ran what they had done to him, what they were doing to him now, the light she usually saw in his dark eyes was gone.
JJ was tired but she had to find a phone and get some help. Finally after hours she spotted a house, she knew she was far enough away that these people wouldn't be associated with the unsubs. Banging on the door, a little old man answered. "Sir, I'm sorry to bother you. My name is Jennifer Jareau, I'm with the FBI. I can't show you my ID as my partner and I were taken hostage yesterday. With his help I managed to escape. Do you please have a phone I can use to call for help? Please I'm begging, my partner is in grave danger." She was in tears.
"Sure, come on in." The old man said holding the door and pointing to the old-time rotary phone on the wall. "It's right over there."
Picking up the phone she dialed. "This is agent Jennifer Jareau, I need to speak to Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner, it's an emergency."
/
The team was in the conference room, with Shepherd, Strauss and Will going over everything they had which wasn't much, when Hotch saw Anderson at the door. "Sir, there's an emergency call for you on the orange line, they said it's SSA Jareau."
"Garcia, trace this call." Putting the phone on speaker and pushing the emergency button, "This is Agent Hotchner"
"One second sir and I'll patch you through. Go ahead." The agent on the other end said.
"JJ?"
"Hotch, they still have Rossi and he's hurt bad."
"Where are you?" He asked.
"I don't know." She turned to the old man, asked his address and repeated it Hotch. "Aaron, we have to get to Dave. I don't know what they'll do especially once they realize I'm gone. Oh and Hotch, they have our guns and credentials."
"JJ stay where you are we'll be there as soon as we can." Hotch said, hanging up, "let's go. Erin, Will…"
"Don't tell me to stay here, Aaron. I'm coming with you. That not just an agent out there, that's my husband."
"With all due respect, Ma'am that's why I think it would be best for you to stay here."
"No, Aaron, I need to be there, I'll stay out of the way."
Looking at the director, Hotch shrugged, he knew when he'd been beat, "Okay, let's go, we're wasting time here."
/
When JJ hung up she turn to the gentleman, "Thank you, Mr.?"
"Mitchell, Grover Mitchell." He told her offering her a chair. "You look tired, hungry and thirsty; let me make you a sandwich and some tea while we wait on your friends to get here."
"Thank you, Mr. Mitchell that would be wonderful."
/
Back at the shack, the unsubs were furious that JJ had escaped. They took their rage out on Rossi, torturing him more than before. He was finding the way to deal with what was happening was to let his mind go someplace else. He tried to go to a safe place; the place he chose was her. He'd think of Erin and something happy they did together.
Pushing him again into the shack, the unsub snapped, "We'll be back Rossi. We'll break you yet, to bad your little girlfriend got away."
"Bring it asshole, you'll never break me." He would never let them know how close to breaking he was. He was sore, bloody; his back felt like it was on fire all the time now. The beatings were to the point of being more than he could take. Most of what was happening to him, he would chose to forget when…if they found him. Even if he didn't forget it completely he wouldn't let anyone else know he remembered or what they did. Leaning against the wall, he closed his eyes and let his mind go to a happier time and place.
/
/
JJ was pacing around Mr. Mitchells yard when Hotch and the team arrived followed by local police and S.W.A.T... Immediately she was in Will's arms. Pulling away, but holding on to him she looked at Hotch, "We've got to get to Dave."
"JJ calm down, do you know where he is? How we get to him. We need as much information as you can give us before we go storming into someplace we have no information about."
Jareau knew he was right, taking a deep breath she looked up and saw Erin Strauss-Rossi standing behind Alex, Morgan holding on to her. Tears began to stream down the younger profilers face as she stepped up to the deputy director. "Ma'am…" She couldn't go on she didn't know what to say to the woman she had grown to care about.
Erin hugged her, "its okay, JJ. Just tell us what you can, then let's go find David and bring him home."
J.J told them everything she could remember, she told them about their abduction, the trip there, some of what happened, how she escaped and how far she walked and ran. Mr. Mitchell, said he thought he knew the place JJ was talking about, it was about 20 miles south of his property along the dirt road on the west side.
Having their plan formed, the group loaded into the SUV's and headed the 20 miles to where they thought the shack was. JJ rode with her eyes closed hoping she would remember the feel of the road. When she did open her eyes, she saw Strauss watching out the window; once in a while she would wipe her eyes as if she were crying. Reaching over she took the older woman's hand and gave it a squeeze.
/
/
Several minutes later, JJ told them they were at the right place as they pulled up to the house. Exiting the suburban with guns drawn, the unsubs came out of the barn, with Dave in front of them. "Come any closer and I'll shoot him."
"You can't get out of here, you shoot him and I'll shoot you." Hotch yelled, he could tell Dave was hurt, "Let Agent Rossi go and we can talk about this."
"He's killed our father; it's time for him to take responsibility, an eye for an eye, now it's his turn to die." The younger one said putting the gun to Dave's head.
"Just kill me and get it over." Dave said, keeping his eyes on Hotch.
Reid, Morgan and three SWAT members had circled around behind them. "Put the guns down." Morgan told them. Whirling around, the unsub hit Rossi hard then pushed him to the ground as shots were fired and both unsubs fell. Checking for a pulse, they were pronounced dead by the police chief.
Hotch was immediately at Dave's side. "Stay still, the medics are on the way."
Trying to sit up, "I'm fine." Rossi did his best to get to his feet. Once standing he saw J.J coming toward him, tears streaming.
Hugging him, but making sure not to hurt him, "I did what you said, Dave, I ran and didn't stop until I was safe."
"I never doubted you. I knew you'd get help." Wobbling a little, Morgan was there to support him, smiling slightly at the younger agent; he looked over to see Erin step out of the SUV, but make no move toward him. A part of him wanted to grab a hold of her and never let go and another part didn't want anyone, not even his wife to touch him.
Hotch was the one who spoke, as paramedics approached the men standing with Rossi. "Dave we need to get you to a hospital."
"In a minute" he told his friend, keeping his eyes on his wife, as much as he didn't want to be touched, he need to let her know he would be okay and no matter what he loved her.
Hotch saw where his eyes were and motioned her over. Stopping in front of him, Erin let the tears go. Instinct took over and Dave pulled her into a tight embrace. "Don't cry, baby."
"I'm sorry, David." She sobbed.
Pulling back just a little, "Why are you sorry, you didn't do anything."
"I'm sorry that I said all those mean things to you yesterday."
Dave smiled a little, "Don't, Erin. It's okay."
Again Hotch interrupted, "Erin we need to get Dave to a hospital, you can go with him." Turning to Dave, "Go, get checked. We'll be there as soon as we're done here. JJ you go too."
/
/
Hotch and the team arrived at the hospital to find JJ, Will and Erin sitting in the waiting room. "How is he?"
Erin shrugged, "They haven't told us anything, just asked us to leave so they could do a thorough exam. I'm not sure what happened out there, Aaron, but something awful did and he's not talking."
"He may not remember, we found some drugs we're pretty sure they were giving him. Also he may choose not to remember." Hotch said taking Strauss' hand sitting next to her.
It wasn't long before the Dr, came out, "Mrs. Rossi?" Erin stood, "Well I can't say he's the best patient I've ever had." The entire team laughed, they all knew Rossi. "He's been treated rough for the past couple days. He has numerous cuts, and bruises, he's been drugged and doesn't remember some of what happened. I don't know if it's from what they gave him, or if he's blocking out what happened. I know he needs rest, a lot of it. His back is in rough shape, it's going to need bandage changes twice a day."
"Can I…we see him."
"Sure, I'll take you back." Erin and Hotch followed the Dr.
Taking her arm, Aaron pulled her off to the side. "I'm going to wait out here for a few minutes, give you some time with him."
Nodding, Erin entered the room, closing the door; Dave was sitting on the edge of the bed staring at his feet. She moved to stand near, but not touching him, wanting to let him make the first move. Slowly he looked up, letting her see into his dark eyes. Like JJ earlier she noticed the light, the life had gone, they were dead and it made her heart ache. Placing her hand over her breaking heart, she took a tentative step towards him, watching, finally after several seconds he opened his arm and allowed her to step in.
"I'm sorry, Erin. I'm so sorry." He spoke into her hair as he felt her tears on his shoulder, rubbing his hand up and down her back.
"David, you don't need to be sorry. They did this to you; you didn't do it to yourself."
"I'm not even sure I know what they did to me. Erin, at first I let it happen, then to deal with it I went somewhere else. I let my mind go to a place where I was happy." He said loosening his grip on her just a tad bit. "I don't remember most of it, Erin."
"That could be the drug they gave you." Hotch said as both looked up to see him standing in the doorway. Stepping in the room, "Dave, we need as much information as you can give us."
Erin stepped out of his arms, but sat on the bed next to him, "Do you have to do this now?"
"Erin you know it's better to get what information we can while it's fresh." Hotchner told her.
Taking her hand and kissing it. "It's okay, Miele." Dave recounted as much as he remembered…would let himself remember. "That's it, that's all I remember. I don't even remember that much about you guys being there until I saw Erin step out of the SUV."
"Okay, get some rest; we'll talk again later, maybe tomorrow." Hotch said as the Dr came into the room.
"Dr. Winston, how is he? What did your tests show?" Erin asked.
Sitting in the chair across from Dave talking to him, the physician began, "Agent Rossi, you have a concussion, many bruises and lacerations. Your back is torn up badly. There's this drug in your system, we still haven't identified. These are all signs of physical abuse, torture so to speak. Our tests show no permanent physical damage. You're going to be sore for several days, especially your back and sides. I suggest sleeping on your side or stomach if you can for a few days. I'm giving you something for pain and I'm ordering you to find someone to talk to. You may not remember now, but those lost memories may come back and they most definitely aren't going to be pleasant. They may come as flashbacks or dreams." Turning to Erin, "He's going to have times when he's fine, normal so to speak, and then there are going to be times when he's quiet, withdrawn, even distant. There may be times when things bother him that usually wouldn't. There may be points when he wants to just be held or there could be periods where he doesn't want to be touched. You don't go through the trauma he's been through and not. Just be patient, make sure he knows you're there and you love him."
"How long do I have to be off work and when can I go home?" Dave asked.
"I'm going to discharge you today as long as you agree to go home, rest and there is someone with you for a least the next 48 hours. As for work, today is Wednesday you can go back to a desk job on Monday. As far as going back into the field, per FBI rules, that will be determined by the doctor you choose to talk to. I'll give Erin a list." Standing, "your discharge papers will be ready in a few. Also, you'll need to schedule an appointment with your physician to check those deep cuts."
/
/
Arriving home, Erin and Dave went into the house; she put her things on the counter while Dave leaned against the island, crossing his arms over his chest, letting out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. The slight sound brought Mudgie into the kitchen, where he nudged his master's leg. Absent mindedly Rossi rubbed his ears until the retriever found his food bowl.
Shifting to stand in front of her husband but again not touch him, "What is it, David?"
Shaking his head, "Nothing, Baby, I just need a shower. I think I'll go up and take one, okay?"
"Sure, you do what you need too. Are you hungry? I could make something."
"Maybe something light," he answered leaning forward and kissing her on the cheek, before leaving the room.
/
/
Coming out of the shower, Dave caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror; he didn't like what he saw. Unable to control himself he smashed his fist into the glass breaking it. Erin who was still downstairs heard the crash came running up the stairs, as Jessie can out of her room. Both entering the master bedroom, seeing the mess and the blood on Dave's hand and clothes, Erin went into the bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit. "Jess, go to your room please."
"Mom, what's going on?" The teen asked.
Kissing her daughter on the forehead, "I'll be in to talk to you in a bit, please just go to your room."
Wrapping a towel around her husband's hand, she cleaned up the glass, led him back into the bathroom to clean the cuts. Once she saw the cuts weren't serious, she bandaged it, following him into the bedroom.
"I'm sorry, Erin." Dave said changing out of his bloody clothes into another pair of sweats and t-shirt.
Leaning against the wall, "Want to talk about what happened in there?" pointing to the bathroom.
"I'm not sure, I got dressed after my shower, went to comb my hair. I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw."
"What did you see?" She questioned.
Moving to look out the window, "I saw someone weak, pathetic."
"Oh David, you're not weak. You're one of the strongest people I know." She walked up behind him placing her hand on his shoulder, she felt him stiffen but she didn't remove it only letting it fall when he turned to look at her.
"How can you say that? Look what happened the last two days and I let it."
"David, you were beaten, tortured and God knows what else and you're still here with me. What you went through would have broken a weak man. You are not weak. You protected JJ, she told us." She saw what fight he had left in him drain from his body. Opening her arms, she wasn't sure if he would walk into them or not, but she needed him to know she was there.
Burying his face in her hair, he wrapped his arms around her holding on like she was his life line. Neither was sure how long the stood. Finally, he spoke, "I love you, Erin. I know the next few weeks aren't going to be easy on you, so no matter what, remember I love you."
"Amante' you've been there for me through all the bad the last few years, even before you loved me. I'm not going anywhere; I'm going to be right here by your side, loving you and supporting you. We will get through this together, David."
Smiling a little he pulled back so he could look into her beautiful eyes. "I think I've always loved you, Erin. I was just too stupid to admit it." Seeing her smile, he leaned in and kissed her for the first time since they found him. They broke the kiss when they heard a soft knock on the door.
"Mom, Dave, is everything okay?" Jessica asked timidly.
Dave stepped out of his wife's arms toward his bonus daughter hugging her, "Jessie, come over here and sit down." Leading her to the couch by the window, putting her between Erin and himself. "Kiddo, I've had a couple rough days. I'm sorry if I scared you."
"Dave what happened? Mom called yesterday and said you and JJ were missing."
Pulling the young girl into another soft hug, "Someone who was mad at me for doing my job wanted revenge, but I'm okay. I'm not going to tell you the next few weeks are going to be easy as I deal with the things that happened, but I promise I'll try not to scare you again. On days when I think it will be a bad day, I'll make sure to let you know okay?"
"Okay. Can I do anything for you right now?"
"Maybe one more hug." Jessica Strauss wrapped her arms around him; Dave reached for Erin pulling her into the group hug.
/
/
For the first week things were going pretty well. Dave talked to Dr. Reynolds twice a week; he'd been going to work, doing paperwork and consults while using his brain to help when the team had to be away. He'd seen his family Doctor and his wounds were healing. He was slowly getting back to himself or so they all thought.
In the second week after his ordeal, waking looking at the clock at 2:47 AM, Erin reached over to touch Dave, but his side of the bed was vacant and cold. Sitting up, looking around the room, it was empty. The light in the bathroom was off, but she thought she saw a shadow. Getting up, she walked slowly toward the figure; Dave was sitting on the floor in the bathroom, knees up to his chest, head resting on his knees.
Kneeling in front of him, not touching, "David?" When he looked up at her, there was something in his eyes. A look she'd never seen before, something close to terror. Shifting to sit on the floor, "David, what is it?"
He didn't say anything, just pulled her into an embrace. She felt him shiver as he whispered into his hair, "Don't leave me. Please don't leave me."
Tightening her hold, "I'm not going anywhere, David. I'll never leave you, I'm right here." She wasn't sure how long they sat on the bathroom floor holding onto each other, finally she pulled back a little to look at him. He seemed calmer, his breathing was normal, but the terror in his eyes was still there. Standing she reached out her hand, he took it and they walked into the bed room. Pulling back the blankets, she climbed in, pulling him down with her. Covering them both, "I'm right here, David. I've got you, you're safe." She felt him begin to relax. "Sleep, I'll protect you."
/
/
The next two days were hard for both. Dave tried to keep control and Erin gave him what space he needed, but she could see him pulling away more and more. There was so much anger. Aaron Hotchner walked into his office to find her sitting in a chair head in her hands tears streaming. Looking up when she heard him enter. "I'm losing him Aaron."
Hotch dropped his briefcase and knelt in front of Erin Strauss taking her hands in his. "Erin, you're not going to lose him, we won't let that happen. We don't know what happened in that house. We don't know what he went through during those two days and he's not talking. Until he does, until he lets someone in and talks about it he's going to be this way. He blames himself for everything."
"I know, Aaron, he's just so angry. Not at anyone, just angry. He tries not to take it out on me, but the silence and distance is almost as painful." She took the tissue he offered.
"When does he see Dr. Reynolds again?"
"He has an appointment today, but he's not talking to him either."
"Try not to worry, Erin we'll get the Dave we know and love back."
/
/
Dr. Reynolds motioned Dave into his office. "Sit down, Dave. How have you been since the last time we talked?"
Letting out an exasperated sigh, "Not good."
"Would you like to tell me about it?"
Dave opened up and actually talked to the Dr, once he was finished, "Wow, that's a lot to carry around."
"I know I need to tell some of this to Erin and the team, but how? Once she finds out everything, how weak I was, how is Erin every going to still love me?"
"Dave, you tell them the same way you just told me. You've made progress today, that's what we want. If you're to get better you have to get it out there. That way they can help. They can understand. Erin is your wife, Dave she's not going to leave you because of something you had no control over." Dr. Reynolds told him. "What do you say we schedule an appointment, we bring your wife and team in and you tell them what you told me? I'll be here to direct things and be your save place? I'll call and set it up for later today if possible." He saw Dave nod.
/
/
It was after 5 when Dr. Reynolds ushered Erin, Hotch and the rest of the team into his office where Dave was waiting. Standing her wrapped his arms around his wife in a gentle hug, giving her a quick kiss.
"Please everyone have a seat." The Dr sat in a chair across from Dave who sat on the couch between Erin and JJ. "Dave has made some real progress today. He decided you need to hear some of what he told me, but you have to sit quietly until he's done. It's going to get emotional, I'm going to warn you now, if you can't handle it then now is the time to leave." Looking at Dave, "Also I'm going to ask no one touch him, if he wants physical contact he'll make the moves. I know this will be hard; because you love him, but this is the way we're going to start the healing process. Everyone understand?" Everyone nodded. "Okay, Dave, start when you're ready."
David Rossi sat staring at his hands for a long time; he wasn't sure where to begin. The room was silent for several minutes, Alex Blake was about to say something when Dr. Reynolds turned to her and shook his head. Dave would talk when he was ready; he had to get everything he needed to say worked out in his mind. Looking at Blake, he wasn't sure how to feel. She was a member of this team, his team, but there was something about her he was skeptical of, even after over a year. Was it because she and Erin had a past? Everyone who knew him knew he was loyal to his wife, even when he thought she was wrong he was on her side.
Finally after a few more minutes Dave began, "I'm sorry if I've been distant. I'm sorry if I've been unpleasant and nasty." He stopped and turned to Erin, he watched as she urged him on with her eyes. "I'm angry and I seem to take it out on the people I care the most about, except for the kids, those people are in this room. So before I really begin, let me apologize. When JJ and I were taken, I knew I had to be strong; I couldn't…wouldn't let anything happen to her." He looked over at the younger profiler, she smiled a sad smile and he saw the tears. "Just so everyone knows, I wouldn't change anything that happened."
Reaching for Erin's hand he squeezed it and stood up. Pacing, "The two days they had us, all I could think about was getting JJ out. I knew from what they were doing to me that it wouldn't be long before they decided the best way to break me was to hurt her. They tried everything they could to get me to crack, but I refused. One of the ways I dealt with the torture was to go to a different place, let my mind go someplace else. Usually that place was with Erin. A couple times I'd go to something this group did as a family, like a cooking lesson or a soccer game. I'm supposed to be the writer and the words aren't coming like I want them too, I feel like I'm stumbling."
Dr. Reynolds smiled, "it's okay, Dave, go on. You're doing fine."
He continued, "For a week or so after we got home, I couldn't remember most of what had happened, I didn't want to remember. One night Erin found me sitting on the bathroom floor, that night so many memories came flooding back. I couldn't handle it. Every fear I had in that shack rushed back slapping me in the face." Turning to his wife he sat on the table in front of her, taking her hands in his, "My biggest fear is that once you know everything, you won't love me anymore, you'll leave me."
Erin's heart hurt, she knew not to say anything, he needed to get it all out without interruption, but she needed for him to know his fears were just that fears and she loved him and wasn't going to leave him. Squeezing his hands tightly she leaned forward and kissed him softly. The room saw him smile for the first time in weeks, it was a tiny smile, but it reached his eyes. "These unsubs took us because years ago, before I retired, I worked on a case that ended in their father being killed. He was a serial murderer, who killed 5 men and his wife who was pregnant at the time was also killed. I was the lead on the case so they blamed me. They spent almost 20 years planning."
Standing he paced again as he continued, looking at his doctor, he saw the man nod. "The first time they took me to the barn, I thought piece of cake I could take this. It was just a few punches, I could take it. The next couple times, they were more intense, I think they used a whip or strap, the physical I could take. Then they started the mental abuse. They knew things about this team, about each of you. They knew about Jack, Henry and Erin. Luckily they didn't know about the kids or that Erin is my wife, they only knew she was a member of the team. I've done everything I can to not let the world know who my family is. When the mental didn't break me, along came sexual abuse, this is when I knew I had to get JJ out. I'm not going to go into detail what they did, but…" He took a deep breath, looking again at Dr. Reynolds, "I knew that if I wouldn't give them what they wanted, they would go after her sexually, they would take it and I had to protect her no matter what it cost me. They could do whatever they wanted to me and they did, but I had to make sure they didn't touch her. That night when I knew she was asleep, I searched for a way to get her out. Thank God there was a loose board in the wall and I could make it big enough for her to squeeze through. When they found out she'd escaped they were really pissed. That's when they started the real torture, the beatings were more extreme. Before it was just being held by one while the other punched, this time it was being strung up, chained while both threw blows, they used a whip, they used shock, hitting with boards and other objects and even a hot poker to my side. It got to a point where even going to the safe place in my mind didn't help, I was tired, I had done what I needed to do, I got JJ out. It was time to let them do what they wanted, that was killing me. I even told them to go ahead." Dave looked around the room at each of his team mates, his voice became softer, "I was weak, I felt weak. I knew at that point I was done; I'd made peace with myself that the last face on this earth I'd see was theirs. Then you guys came and rescued us, JJ had gotten help. Again it hit me I was weak, I needed help to take down the unsub. I found out I wasn't that strong FBI agent everyone thought I was. I kept hearing in my mind people saying, of course he'll be okay, he's Rossi." When he looked at the group his eyes were watery and a lone tear slipped down his cheek.
Again he sat on the table in front of Erin, taking one of her hands and one of JJ's. "This time I don't know if I'm going to be fine. I don't know who Rossi is anymore, they took that from me. You two have been through some of the same things, JJ with the physical torture, and Erin with the mental from Curtis. You both got through it and are stronger for it. How? How do I put this behind me and go on? How do I stop seeing myself as weak, as a failure? If I can't get past this they win. I can't let them win. I need help." Pulling both ladies into a group hug, "Will you help me?" Sitting back letting go, he wiped at his eyes. "If I'm going to get through this, I'm going to need everyone in this room's help. Will you help me? I don't want to feel like this anymore." Looking at the doctor to let him know he was finished, Dave sat back down on the couch, putting his arm around his wife.
Dr. Reynolds lean forward, "Okay, there you have it. Dave wants to get past this, are you all willing to be there and support him?"
Hotch was the first to speak, "I think I can speak for the entire team. Dave's been there for all of us in one way or another; we'll be there for him. We just need to know how to help."
"Dave, you want to answer that?" Reynolds asked.
"When I'm having a bad day, I'll tell you. Listen if I want to talk or just sit with me until the demons leave if I don't want to talk, don't push. If you see I need a minute away tell me, Dave let's take a walk. Get me out of my own head. That's my main problem; I think too much, we all do. Don't assume just because everyone else thinks I'll be fine because I'm David Rossi that I am. Don't avoid talking about things, or stop a conversation because I walk in. Just be my friends, I'm going to have bad days, I'm human. "
Reassuring him they would all be there for him, each hugged him and left. They decided they would talk as a group more tomorrow. They would all go to Erin and Dave's for pizza and if Dave needed to talk more he could. If not they would just hang out. JJ stayed behind with Erin.
JJ walked up to him, took his face in her hands, "You David Rossi, are not weak, you are a rock, my rock. You protected me and you saved us. Never feel you're weak because someone tortured you. They did that, you didn't. If it had been a fair fight, you would've kicked ass. You asked how to put this behind you, how I did it when it happened to me? I had you there to support me, to love me and to hang on to, always me telling me you'd catch me if I fell. I fell several times and you caught me each time. Now it's my turn. I love you, Dave Rossi. I'll be there to catch you if you fall, and support you. Lean on us. Okay?" She looked deep into his eyes as he nodded. Kissing him, she hugged Erin and left.
There was more Dave wanted…needed to tell Erin, they sat and he talked to just her for another hour. Telling her his doubts, a little more of what they'd done to him and how she could help. He told her they needed to tell the kids some of what happened but not the gruesome details. Again he expressed his fear of her leaving him. She reassured him; she loved him and would be there for him always.
Emotionally exhausted Dave looked at Dr. Reynolds, "I'm done. I've got nothing else."
"You did great. You made remarkable progress. Last week I would have told the director it could be months, before you were field ready. After today, if you keep going I think I might release you in a couple weeks. Let's see how it goes. Now take you're beautiful wife out for dinner, go home hang on to each other and enjoy the weekend. I'll see you Monday."
/
/
Dave did just as the doctor ordered, stopping at Erin's favorite dive restaurant, he picked up some chicken with sides and iced tea, then drove to a secluded spot in Prince William Forest Park. Taking the food to the picnic table, they ate in easy silence. Dave had enough talking for today; he just wanted to enjoy the quiet and the beauty of the park with his wife. When they finished, She put the trash in the garbage can and walked back to where he was. Dave sat on the table over looking one of the lakes. He pulled Erin between his legs, nuzzling her neck, loving the way her hair ticked his nose and the smell that was true Erin. "I love you." He whispered, enjoying the calm his soul felt.
Tightening her hold on his arms that were wrapped around her, she said, "I love you too, David." They sat wrapped in each other's arms watching the sun go down. For the first time in weeks Dave felt like Dave.
Standing he took Erin's hand, led her back to the car. Opening the door, "I want to go home, Erin. I want to go home with you; I want to crawl into our bed in our house. I want to wrap myself in you, make love to you and fall asleep with you. I want to wake up tomorrow and spend the day together. I want to get back to where we were, where I was before this nightmare began. I don't want to talk anymore tonight. I just want to feel."
Kissing him passionately, she smiled to herself, this was the first time since the ordeal began he didn't stiffen or flinch when she kissed him. This time he kissed her with as much fire, and she felt they would be okay, he would be okay. "I think we can do anything as long as we do it together. Hold on tight David, I got you and I'm not letting go for as long as you need me."
"I need you, Baby, I'm always going to need you."
"Let's go home, David." Getting in the car, they both felt a new peace they hadn't felt in days. Together they would be okay, he would be okay after all they were the Rossi's.
