Note from the author:
This is the first story I've written in for-freaking-ever :] More than that, it's my first story based around comedy, instead of the 'naughty dance'. (But I think I might work some in. It's no fun otherwise.) Thank you for reading it, and please review. Your comments count!! ;D
WARNING!! All characters are ghetto for some reason. I also do not own the rights to TMM or any of it's respective characters, for the mere fact that I do not want to own that little pussy bitch Masaya.
What would have REALLY happened in Tokyo Mew Mew: VOLUME 1!
Ichigo and Masaya are walking through an environmental museum on a lovely day. Ichigo sighs. She walks forward, thinking of how much she would rather be somewhere else. Why did he have to bring her here? I mean, sure, it was noble how much he cares for the environment, but the goody-two shoes hadn't said one word to her about anything except grass and penguins. It was a good thing he was cute, or she would have bolted hours ago.
But, aside from the obsession with the environment, and the brief encounter with the fire ants, the date was going swimmingly and Ichigo was enjoying herself. She was starting to really like Masaya. That being said, she snuck off as soon as she could, after 'accidentally' tumbling down on top of Masaya and an encounter with an anonymous snooty bitch. She saw a glimmer in the distance. "Wow!!" she exclaimed, "What a cute café!!!"
Random writer's interruption #1: Does anyone else think that the Joker from the Dark Knight was the hottest thing to ever hit the movie theater? God, I thought I was a lesbian until the moment I saw him walk out of that hospital in a dress… Good lord, I've got problems.
The large, pink structure glittered in the distance, as though it was encrusted with a thousand diamonds. God knows how she knew it was a café Atop the red shingled roof stood a golden cat statue. "Maybe I can get Masaya to take me there after we escape this boring hell-hole!" Another voice chimed in, "True love can be so difficult!" Snooty bitch had joined back into the story. Ichigo was pissed. "Hey! Why don't you just back off already? This is none of your business, I don't even know who you are!!" she hissed. The blue haired wonder just stared back at her in amusement as Ichigo's inner ghetto came out.
She laughed, "because you two are a little bit more interesting than these displays." She winked, just in time to see Ichigo's fist collide with her perfect, beautiful face. Onlookers gasped and stared as Mint punched Ichigo in the stomach, bringing her down to the ground.
Random writer's interruption#2: Why don't boys listen when you tell them you don't want they're nasty feet anywhere near you?
A single tear slid down Ichigo's face as the wind was knocked clean out of her, but she would not give up that easily. She gathered up her strength and dove into Mint's ankles, biting one as hard as she could. Mint screamed as Ichigo's teeth dug deep into the tender flesh of her ankles, and kicked Ichigo hard in the face with her other foot. Suddenly, their scuffle was broken as large, burly security men escorted them both off the premises.
"Sorry, Masaya." Ichigo apologized again through the bars to the museum courtyard. "I didn't want to ruin our date, but she pissed me off…" Masaya looked at her like she was crazy, but faked a smile and told her, yet again, that she had made no folly and that they would simply reschedule a new date for the following week. Ichigo sighed in relief. Not only had she kicked someone's ass, but she had gotten out of that museum AND got another date with Masaya.
Ichigo turned to face Mint. "You know, we wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for you." She told her loathingly. Mint simply laughed at her. "You act like you didn 't want to get the fuck out of there." Their rising argument was interrupted by a better, more interesting quarrel on the other side of the courtyard outside the museum.
Random writer's interruption#3: Karma is a bitch, and it goes down like a sweet muffin. Sure, it tastes good for a minute or two, but then it goes straight to your thighs and FUCKS YOU UP.
"B-but I brought you hot coffee like you asked me too…" A green-haired girl stuttered as a group of much uglier girls laughed at her. "HEY!" A small girl appeared out of buttfucking nowhere. "Why don't you pick on someone your own size?"
To be continued, because I'm lazy…..
So what did you think? Love it? Hate it? Wanna burn my house down out of pure anguish? Tell me in review, even though I know the topic was totally overplayed.