Ursa stood in front of the door for a moment, her hands balled into fists at her sides. Why was she here? It had been weeks since she had seen him, the longest they had gone without seeing each other since they met. She sighed, biting down on her bottom lip. It had been ten years now, ten years of a beautiful friendship that had turned into a terrible mess. She raised her fist and knocked on the door lightly.
"Come in." His voice called.
She stepped inside the room. It was poorly lit and smelled of incense. "Zhao…" She said softly, staring at her friend who stood facing his desk. His hair fell around his face messily, his back was straight, his shoulders pulled back and chest pushed forward. He turned around and his amber eyes widened a bit. "Ursa…" He took a step forward, his face twisted in confusion. "What are you doing here?" His armor shimmered in the candle light.
"I heard…" Ursa swallowed and offered a weak smile. Her stomach was churning. "I heard you were shipping out tonight. Ozai told me."
Zhao's face relaxed, but Ursa could still sense his surprise. She wasn't shocked; he probably thought they would never see each other again after their fight. He rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. "I am, to the Earth Kingdom." He looked her over for a moment, examining her elegant silk robes. Ozai had given them to her as a gift. She felt almost ashamed for wearing them in Zhao's presence. She watched him frown and she could feel the churning in her stomach worsen.
"I see. I guess I just wanted to say good bye." She said gently. She looked down at her feet, bringing her hands together and clicking her nails.
"You're nervous." Zhao stated. She looked back up, flustered. "You know you never have to be nervous around me." His voice was filled with a dark sorrow.
"I know…" Ursa replied, placing her hands behind her back. "Just… Things are different now."
Zhao frowned. "I know they are, you don't have to tell me that." He muttered. They two of them stood in silence for a moment, staring at each other. Ursa wanted more than anything to cling onto to him, to beg him not to leave, to plead with him for forgiveness. But she couldn't. They were not who they had been a year ago, best friends with their entire lives ahead of them. Today they stood together as seventeen year olds with an unspoken love affair that hung in the air like smoke. Their new lives without each other were beginning, and there was nothing either of them could do about it.
Zhao sat down on his bed, bending over as he collected his hair into one hand. "Oh, let me." Ursa offered and walked over, sitting on the bed next to him. Zhao stayed silent as Ursa maneuvered his hair into a bun. She paused for a moment before using her free hand to pull a red ribbon that held her hair up from her head and finished the style off with it. The two of them sat there, another dreadful silence filling the air. Zhao stared at his feet, but Ursa stared at him. She watched the shadows of his face dance in the candle light and traced every outline of bone structure with her eyes. She never wanted to forget that face.
"I always thought…" She began. "I always thought you'd be at my wedding."
Zhao smiled softly, looking up at her. "I thought I would too, but…" Ursa cocked her head as Zhao looked away again, this time straight ahead. "I guess I always sort of hoped it would be because I'd be the one you'd marry."
Ursa could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks, but she didn't look away. Her eyes met Zhao's as he looked back at smiled at her. "I'm sorry…" She finally said.
Zhao's smile faded into a dark frown and he stood up. "You don't need to apologize to me, remember?" He walked across the room, his back to her.
Ursa rose as well with a sigh. "I'm sorry about what I said to you. It wasn't right."
"Then why'd you say it?" Zhao spat, whipping around. "Why are you even doing this? You don't love him, I know you don't."
Ursa throat suddenly felt swollen and she could feels her eyes begin to sting. All she wanted wad to bid him good bye, she hadn't been looking for another fight, she hadn't even expected the engagement to be brought up. "I do love him, Zhao."
Zhao's nostrils flared and he took a step closer to Ursa. "I know you don't mean that." He growled.
"What would you know about it, huh?" Tears began to roll down Ursa's face. "You know nothing about us."
"But I know about you and me, Ursa, I do." Zhao retorted. "I know that ever since I met you, you have been everything I've wanted, and I know that no one else can love you like I do, and I know you love me too. I know you do, don't you dare fucking deny that."
Ursa glared at Zhao, but did not respond. He was right. She knew he was. She knew that no one would ever look at her the way he did, she knew that no one would ever hold her the way he did, and she knew, most of all, no one would ever know her the way he did right now. "I don't know what to say…" She said finally.
"Tell me you love me." Zhao demanded. He took a few steps closer and placed his hands firmly on Ursa's arms.
"Zhao…" Ursa looked away.
Zhao brought a hand to Ursa's cheek, forcing her to look at him again. "Ursa, I may never see you again. I don't want to die in this war having never heard those words." He stared into her eyes, biting down on his cheek.
Ursa let out a soft sob and lunged her body forward, wrapping her arms around the man she had loved for so many years without ever knowing it until this very moment. She couldn't hold it back anymore. In that instant she forgot about her fiancée, about her soon-to-be-kingdom, abut every responsibility her engagement had bestowed upon her. "I love you, Zhao." She sobbed.
Zhao held Ursa tightly, resting his head on hers. He pulled back and lifted Ursa's chin. "I love you too." He whispered before pressing his lips against hers. The kiss was strong and passionate, years of tension being relieved in one simple act of desire. Ursa wrapped her arms around Zhao's neck, pressing her body again his, his armor digging into her skin. Moments passed before they two pulled away breathless. They stared into each other's eyes, each pleading for the other to stay in this moment forever.
"I don't want you to go." Ursa whispered, resting her head on Zhao's chest plate.
"If we don't meet again…"
"Don't talk like that." Ursa commanded, closing her eyes. "Just… just don't."
There was a knock on the front door of Zhao's house. They were here. Ursa pulled away, wiping tears from her face. "Don't you do anything stupid, okay?"
"I can't make any promises." Zhao laughed lightly, brushing a strand of hair from Ursa's face.
"I'm serious."
"Don't worry." Zhao cooed, stepping away.
"I'd like to stay here for a bit…" Ursa said. "I'll lock up."
Zhao nodded, smiling softly. "Good bye,Ursa."
Ursa forced a smile. "Good bye, Zhao."
He turned away and walked through the door way without another word. Ursa closed her eyes as she listened to the front door open and shut. She sat back down on Zhao's bed, burying her face in her hands. She said a prayer to the spirits before curling herself up on the bed, lying there pretending hsi arms were wrapped around her, inhaling his scent.