FIGHT FOR ME

Her laugh broke the silence. It's been twenty minutes, that they just sat and stared at each other. Nothing was said, just a laugh. This is a story of two teenage siblings, both aged at 17 years. A female, Jade, and Jordan, a male. Jordan has been going through a lot in his life, and always turned to Jade for advice. She was always helpful, and loved that her brother trusted her so much. Jordan was going through a lot of social changes. He's nearing the end of his senior year, so he has been visiting many colleges and filling out scholarships.

The confused look on Jordan's face gave a hint that he was really stressed out. Jade's laughing wasn't exactly what he needed at the moment. Jordan got up off of the black leather couch, and walked away to his bedroom. He slammed the door behind him and flopped onto his bed. In the nightstand drawer, he pulled out a set of headphones, and his iPod. Jordan then put is ear buds in and blasted his music at maximum volume. He just lied there, thinking of everything he's done, has to do, and wants to do. His thoughts weren't always positive and happy. Happy thoughts rarely crossed his mind.

He looked over at his sister, standing in his now open doorway. He removed one ear bud, and looked up at the ceiling with a frustrated look on his face. "What do you want?" He scolded. "Are you here to just laugh at me some more?"

Jade looked around the room slowly, trying to be sure everything was still in it's place. She was worried about her brother, and hoped he wasn't thinking about doing something he would regret. "No. I wasn't laughing at you either. I was laughing at myself."

"Sure seemed like it." Jordan replied sarcastically.

"I did something stupid today. And in 20 minutes of no talking, it was bound to cross my mind. And it was funny, so I laughed. I would never laugh at you, Jordan. Trust me. Now what's going on?"

Jordan sat up in his bed and turned off his iPod. He continued to look down, and started to play with the plug of the headphones, "nothing. It doesn't matter."

"Jordan, I'm not stupid. And it does matter. So tell me, or I'm not going anywhere." Jade walked over to the edge of the bed, and sat down by his feet. "I'll wait however long it takes until you decide to talk."

Jordan looked up at Jade and took in a deep breath. "Jenna broke up with me, I'm failing four classes, I lost my scholarship to UNH, and..." Jordan stopped to wipe his eyes to stop a tear from falling. "Dylan killed himself last night."

Jade sat still, speechless.

"I could of stopped him! But I didn't! I just sat here and watched him fall apart. He even called me last night. And I still didn't stop him. To be honest, I didn't think he was really going to do it. Why did he call me? Out of everyone else, and I had to be the one left with all of this guilt? I'm a horrible friend, a horrible son, and a horrible brother. I can't go through life knowing I'm responsible for the death of my best friend. I can't. He was practically family!"

"It's not your fault. It was a lot to pile on, and it all happened so quickly. You were shocked." Jade answered sympathetically.

"I can't believe this actually happened. The reality of all this just hasn't hit me yet. I feel like it's all just a bad dream. But I know it's not. I can't live with this on my shoulders."

"Yes you can. We all love you Jordan. It's not your fault! I have to go to work. Please, promise me you won't do anything stupid. I love you."

"I'm not going to do anything! Just leave me alone." Jordan snapped. Jade stood up and looked at her brother in remorse. She could feel themselves growing apart. Soon enough, he wouldn't talk to her anymore, about anything. Jade turned towards the door and walked off to go to work. Jordan lied back down and out his music back in. The dark room was soon lit up with the headlights of a car shining through the window. He jumped up out of bed, and ran around his room picking up laundry, trash, and his crumpled up homework.

"Jordan! I'm home!" A woman yelled through the house. His mother was home, six o'clock, the usual time. Her footsteps grew louder as she made her way to his room. She creaked open the door slowly and peeked in to see what Jordan was up to. By this time, he was already back in bed, doing homework. Well, pretending to do his homework that is. "What do you have for homework?"

Jordan replied throwing his books on the floor beside his bed, "nothing now." He stood up, and walked out of the room, pushing his mom out of the way. "I'm going for a walk." The whole time Jade was at work she couldn't help but worry about Jordan. She was scared that he might do something bad.

As he walked down the street all the thoughts piled on. Why didn't I think? Why am I so stupid? what am I doing? He crossed the street and began to run. He was going to the one place he still felt safe. The park across from his old house on the other side of town. As he thought more and more the pain was killing him. He reached the park and sat on the bench unsure about what to do anymore. Unsure about his future, and unsure what he might do. There was nothing he wanted more than a second chance. He just had no way of getting one.

He pulled a small notebook, and a pen out of his back pocket. In red ink, he wrote:

Dear "friends", family, and anyone else in my life who cares about me. I'm sorry I have to do this; but I can't go on. I've been trying to hold on and stay strong for so long now. It's been years, and things are just getting worse. I know I'm to blame for fucking up something I had so good. But no one has to worry about that anymore. I'll be in a better place, and I'll be making the world a better place. No one has to try and "help" me, when I'm a lost cause, and no one has to deal with me hiding in my room all day and night. I'm depressed. No one notices.. Except for Jade. I'm so sorry sis. But I have to do this. I love you..

-Jordan..

P.S. I'm so sorry...

Jordan then pulled two objects out of his pocket. One being a small hand held gun; the other being a freshly sharpened razor blade. He first took the razor blade. He inspected the shiny metal object, the sun glimmering off of the sharp edge. After a few seconds he put the piercing edge to his wrist and sliced through his skin, as deep as he could go. He repeated this three times before he looked. He couldn't move his hand and his fingers were cold. He grabbed a hold of his forearm, right above his new cuts, and squeezed as tight as he could. The blood poured out of his arm, and he sat and watched. He began to get dizzy, and very lightheaded. Everything was getting blurry, and he couldn't find a way to breathe. He took his unharmed hand and reached for the gun. Before he could even touch it, he fell to the ground, and he was gone.

-2 Months Later-

A cluster of people standing in the rain; all dressed in black. Some with umbrellas, some without. Men and women, keeping a strong hold to their children. One woman holding a small baby tightly in her arms. She was weeping uncontrollably, her face buried in another mans chest. She wore an all black dress, that ended just above the knee, black heels, and a black Northface jacket. She looked over at a slick black casket, covered with different types of flowers, pictures, and letters. The woman reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded piece of small notebook paper. The man with her held out his hands to take the baby as she started walking to the front of the crowd. She stood in front of the casket, and unfolded the piece of paper. She cleared her throat, and wiped a tear away with her sleeve. She looked down at the paper, covered in red ink, and blood.

She cleared her throat again, and looked up at the many faces in front of her; waiting for her to speak. "My name's Jade Hadley. A few months ago, my brother Jordan killed himself." She stopped to let wipe the water falling from her eyes. "He was going through a lot, and I tried to help him through it. No matter how hard I tried, I kept making things worse. I didn't understand what he was going through, and I hopefully never will. But he was such a strong kid. I loved him. It was the day he was at his worst, that I left him to go to work. I should of called in sick. I should've stayed with him. If it wasn't for me, he would still be here. But that's not the point of me speaking. He left this note for us all. For everyone who attended this funeral today. It's his apology for what he did. And why he did it. I would read it to you, but I find it best not to. I just want you all to know he was thinking of you. He doesn't want you to dwell on his death.

"He mentioned he was a lost cause. He didn't think he could have been helped. He loves you all, as do I. I wish so much that Jordan could be here to meet his nephew. I wish he could've been at the hospital when Dylan was born. I wish he could be at my wedding. But he wasn't, and he won't be. Thank you all for coming today. And I apologize to all of you about this depressing event."

Jade took the note, folded it back up, kissed it, and left it on the casket. She took one last look down the 6-feet deep hole in the ground, and walked back to her baby, and fiancé. Her son, Dylan, reached his tiny hand out to Jade. She gently brushed the palm of his hand and took him in her arms. She kissed him on the forehead, and they walked through the rain to their car. A small silver Toyota Camry. There was a small cushioned baby seat in the back for Dylan, but she ignored it and kept him tight in her arms, crying into the hood of his lion suit. Dylan wore small feety pajamas, with a lions head as a hood, and a little tail in the back. The paws were folded up so that he could stick his hands through the holes at the end of the arm.

The three and a half hour ride home was silent. No one said a word. The rain hitting the windshield was the only sound. They couldn't even hear the tires on the road. It was as if they weren't even moving. They pulled into the driveway and parked the car in the garage. "Mike, honey, can you take Dylan inside?" Jade said to her fiancé. "I'm gonna stay in the car for a little bit. I want to be alone."

"Are you sure you should be alone right now? I don't want anything to happen." Mike replied worriedly. He took Dylan from her arms, and took the key out of the ignition. He looked into her eyes and saw all of the sorrow she was feeling. She looked at the door to the three story house, and back at Mike. Mike didn't budge, knowing that she wanted him to go inside. "I'm not going anywhere until I know that you're safe."

"I'm not gonna do anything. You should know that."

"You're brother said the same thing. And look what happened. Please, just come inside. Lay down in bed, take a nap. Just please, come inside."

Jade unbuckled her seatbelt and opened her door in frustration. "Okay. Let's go." He followed her to the door, and into the house. Jade ran up the first flight of stairs and up to the bathroom. She slammed the door behind her and locked it tight.

"Jade! Honey! What are you doing?" Mike yelled up to her. He put Dylan in his crib, and rushed upstairs to the locked bathroom door. He could hear her crying, and he could hear a occasional whimper escape her mouth. "Seriously Jade! I'm not kidding! What's going on in there?" Mike panicked.

Then he could hear water falling from inside the shower. He walked into their bedroom, which was three doors down from the bathroom. He sat down on the bed, and waited. After ten minutes went by he leaned back to lay down on the bed. He closed his eyes slowly and fell into a light dream. He saw Jade and Jordan hand in hand. They were sitting on the bench that Jordan was last seen at. The gun was on the bench, as well as the razor blade. One thing was different in this picture. The blade was bloody, and the ground was covered in blood. Another thing that Mike hadn't noticed right away. They each had wings attached to their backs, and halos on their head. They were angels, they were dead. Their two bodies were on the ground, still, not the slightest movement, laying in a puddle of blood.

The sound of a loud thud made Mike jump up out of his slumber. "Jade!" He sprinted to the bathroom door, and tried turning the doorknob. It didn't budge. He ran back to the room, and ripped open every drawer. He pulled everything out of the drawers, looking for something. He stopped and looked over at his nightstand. He opened the drawer in his nightstand, and pulled out a hammer. He ran back to the bathroom door and tried to wedge it open. He took the hammer, and winded up to his the center of the door. The door opened before he had the chance, and Jade walked past him, and into the bedroom. Mike stood still and watched her walk emotionless through the hallway. He dropped the hammer on the floor and followed her into the bedroom.

"I'm not trying to accuse you of anything. But can I just see your wrists? I had a bad dream." Mike asked hesitantly. She turned to look at him in disbelief and showed him her wrists, one by one, keeping her towel up with one hand. "Okay, good." He said looking at her untouched arms.

"Can I get dressed now?" She asked. He turned toward the door, and took a few steps. He turned back around to face her quickly, ready to say something. His jaw dropped when he saw scars, and cuts on Jades left thigh. She looked up at him, she was terrified. She quickly took her towel and put it over her leg. "It was an accident." She was always a horrible lier. He walked over to the bed and sat down. She took two steps toward Mike and he reached out and took her hand. He pulled her closer, and swept the towel off of her leg with his hand. His fingers gently running over the indents she had made in her skin.

"Why?" He asked. His eyes filled with water. "I know you're upset about your brother, but why would you do this to yourself? To me? To Dylan?"

Jade looked down at her severed leg, tears forming in her eyes. "I'm sorry." She cried. She through her arms around Mike and cried into his chest. He too put his arms around Jade's torso, and started singing to her.

"I'll be, you're crying shoulder. I'll be, you're love suicide." He sang. Crying Shoulder was always one of their favorite songs. It was the song sung by a choir at Jordan's funeral. There were so many memories behind the song, that they considered it "their song", and want to have it played at their wedding.

Their unsure of when their wedding will take place. Jade is going through so much in her life. She had Dylan in the start of the month, and her brothers funeral in the middle. Her father is also in the hospital, and she isn't even sure what's wrong with him. He can't walk, or even stand up, and his words are always jumbled. Also, Jade's mother has been put into a clinic for having suicidal thoughts, and actions ever since Jordan killed himself. His death has had a critical effect on everyone. Jenna, his ex-girlfriend has also been affected hugely. To the point that she too killed herself. She blamed herself for his death. Saying she should of never broke up with him and that she still loves him so much. She left a note for her family. Very similar to Jordan's actions.

Dear mom and dad. Friends and acquaintances. I love him. I miss him. I should of never broke up with him. His death is all my fault and I feel miserable. The guilt is eating me away. I don't even know why I broke up with him. The last words I said to him?... ""I hate you! I never want to see you again! You have no future, and I can't fucking stand you and your fuck ups!"... I didn't mean it! I'm the reason he's dead! I don't know how to handle all of this guilt, and all of this pain. I love you. I love you too Jordan. I'm coming baby.

3 Jenna.

She hung herself that night. It was exactly one week after Jordan had ended his life. Jade looked up at Mike, "I'm so sorry", she said apologetically. "I'll be back later. I have to find something." Jade threw on a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. She put her hair up in a bun, grabbed her car keys, and ran out of the door. As she pulled out of the driveway, Mike stood in the doorway watching her speed away.

Jade continued down the road for a few miles. Soon enough, she found herself in the parking lot of an old abandoned elementary school. A sign still stood by the road reading, "Caulfield Elementary School". This is the school Jade and her brother had attended when they were just little kids. She walked up to the main entrance and carefully brushed the soot off of the handle with her finger tips. She pulled the door open, watching everything around her.

The hallways were dark, and the lockers were destroyed. Some lockers had the door falling off, some didn't have doors at all. There were old, burnt pieces of paper all over the floor, smudged in black. In the middle of Jade's 4thgrade year, and Jordan's 5thgrade year, the school had caught fire. Not on accident, but arson. It wasn't the horrible memories Jade had returned for. Jade stopped at a locker, number 417. The door was still attached, it wasn't even open. She pushed up on the lever and ripped it open. Inside was a box. She carefully took the box out of the locker and brushed off the soot to see the colorful wrapping paper. There was a small piece of paper taped to the box.

To: Jade

Love: Jordan

Happy Valentine's Day :) Love you sis. 3

She removed the wrapping paper slowly, trying not to rip it. When she got the paper off, she carefully opened the box with tears in her eyes. Inside she found a pink teddy bear, and a folded up piece of paper. She removed the bear and examined it before giving it a hug. She put the bear back inside of the box and unfolded the piece of paper.

Please, don't worry about me. I love you sis. :) Nothing will change that. 3

Even as a kid Jordan suffered from slight depression that only grew over the years. The fire almost killed him. The day of the fire Jordan was in the boys restroom. No one else was there. He heard the alarms and panicked. When he tried running out into the hallway the door refused to open. He pushed, kicked hit, pulled, everything he could do to open the door, but it refused to open. It was when the fire got in through under the door that Jordan began to cry. He screamed for help but there was no one left in the school to help him. Luckily, the fire department had been checking all of the rooms to make sure everyone had gotten out. They kicked in the door to the bathroom, and carried him out, saving his life.

Jordan never really thought about it after that. He put it behind him and tried to pretend it never happened. Jade on the other hand was horrified. She could've lost her brother that day. As a young girl. She also thinks this has a huge impact on why he was so depressed. Jordan told her to not mention his depressed and suicidal thoughts to their parents, it would kill them. Their parents always believed Jordan had everything for him. He would get great grades in school, and get a football scholarship, possibly even a hockey scholarship. They had nothing but faith in him. Dylan didn't want to upset them, but when they discovered that he was gone, all they could do was mourn. His father attempted suicide twice in the past month. His mother stays in bed and cries all night and day. Even Jade, who tried to protect her bother all these years cuts herself, wishing she had told someone what her brother was telling her.

Jade folded up the note and put it in her pocket, took the box, with the bear still insider, and continued down the hallway. She walked through a doorway with the faded number '298' on the wall beside it. There were cobwebs in the corners, soot on all of the desks, it was an old classroom. It was her old 4th grade classroom. After the fire, the fire department went inside to see fi there were any other people left inside, after that, they left. No one has been inside the school until this day. She walked to the very back of the class to a desk, held up by three legs. She sat down in the seat, and looked to the front of the class. It was then she found everything looked different. The walls had posters on them, in many colors. "Math is fun", one read. And the alphabet was hung high above the chalkboard. She watched as the teacher tought them how to divide larger numbers. She looked around the room to all of the young students writing down notes, and trying to understand.

She looked at one boy in particular. A young boy with short dusty brown hair, and hazel eyes. He was wearing a striped colllar t-shirt, and a pair of blue jeans. The laminated strip of paper taped to his desk read 'Dylan". His name was Dylan Courtier. Dylan was one of Jordans best friends, and Jades crush. Jade would always talk t him, sit with him at lunch, play with him at recess, but never had the courage to tell him how she felt. They were young, she didn't want to lose a best friend. It wasn't until a piece of wood fell from the front of the room that Jade escaped from the day dream. She opened her desk hesitantly, and looked to see a card. The colors were faded, and the red heart in the middle was a near pink. She pulled it out of her desk, brushing off cobwebs, and opened it. "

Jordan, I love you so much! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Jade

It was her own valentines day card for Jordan. She wasn't keeping up on her chores, so she couldn't afford to get him a gift. The fire was started before she had a chance to give her brother his made her feel horrible. Perhaps if she took the card out of her desk before the evacuation he wouldn't of been so depressed. Could this minor detail be part of a huge event? There's no way to know now.

Jade got up from her seat, and slowly made her way to the hallway. As she walked through the halls of old memories, she looked in each room and saw what she had seen in 4th grade. She walked to the front door, the same in which she entered through, and pushed on the handle. It wouldn't open.

The hallway was silent, there wasn't a noise to be heard. She continued to another side door in the school and attempted to open it. It wouldn't budge. She made her way around the abandoned school and checked every door and every window she could find. All the doors have been wedged shut, and all of the windows are locked. There's no way out, she thought to herself. She went to the old cafeteria to see if there was any other way out. It looked... normal. There was no soot, the table were all intact, and the floors were clean. Cobwebs were the only thing she noticed. She looked out of the windows. There were no cars outside, and the streets were empty. Where was every one? Am I going to be stuck here forever? These are the questions that haunted continued to walk through the school. Next she went to the gym to see if there was anyway out. Not a sound was heard. Not even wind could be heard from outside. She pulled open the gym door with all of her strength and it began to creak open. Maybe there was hope. She kept pulling and it finally flung open. She turned down the street to the corner store. Jade noticed the lights were off. This was strange for a 24 hour store. She knocked on the door, no reply. At this time she was worried about her family. What if Mike expected she was in danger? How is Dylan? Is he okay?She continued walking down the street. At the end of the road there was a church. Someone is always there. She went up to the door and knocked three times. No one answered. She opened the door and walked inside. "Hello?" She called out. Still no response. It was a ghost town. She looked around the dark church and walked over towards the front where the priest stands. She looked at the man nailed to the cross up on the wall. Well, there's no one here either. So I should just go. She turned around to walk out, and nearly screamed by the sight in front of her. She couldn't scream. She tried so hard, but nothing would come out. She fell backwards onto the floor, and began crawling back towards the wall. What did she see? Pale white faces sitting in the benches. Still, staring at her. No one was breathing, and no one was speaking. They were just watching.