Terribly sorry, my email's suddenly started filtering FF alerts and I didn't dare write anything until I'd figured it out. i'm not gonna miss out on my lovely reviews! Anyway, to make up for the delay and also to rid off my writer's block, here is a short little humor oneshot. Although whether you find it funny or not is entirely your choice.

Summary: Danny should never have left Montana. (No pun intended.)

Disclaimer: Seriously, if I owned CSI: NY, I would not be sitting here like a geek writing stories abot them, I'd be too busy hanging out with Carmine, Ed, Hill, Anna and Gary. And also making chock loads of lolly.

'Daaaaanny! Cooo - eee!' she yelled, surprisingly high-pitched, out of the window.

Something inside Danny cringed, but he ignored it. This was his new love life, and he was enjoying it. Well, most of it.

'Yes, I'm here, darling.' he said, trying to be enthusiastic. Lately he had been down for no particular reason.

Well actually... he thought. He shook it off before he could think of it, and climbed up the stairs to their apartment.

When he reached it, he took out his keys to open the door, but the door flew open, almost taking his nose with it.

'Danny!' She squealed. 'I've made your favourite dinner, and I've even brought some roses to put by the table and -'

'Ok, Precious, why don't we go in first?' he said, half bemused. It never ceased to surprise him that 'Precious' was her actual name.

And sure enough, there was a table with a pink tablecloth covering it, pink roses, pink napkins, pink candles and even the plates were laced with pink.

The 'something' inside him cringed again, and yet again he ignored it.

'Wow. This is great, Precious.'

'Oooooh, I'm sooo glad you like it!' She ran over and gave him a rather badly aimed kiss on what was either the cheek or the lips.

'Where's the food then?' he asked.

'Ooooooh, you see, because you have such a fab job, I'm supposing that you always have to work overtime and I thought to myself: 'Hey Precious, why don't you be clever and put it back in the oven just in case my sweet, sweet Danny doesn't come home in time, because, I mean, no-one likes a cold dinner, so I did that but just as I put it in the oven I looked out the window and YOU WERE THERE SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR DINNER GETTING COOOOOLD, SO I - '

Her voice had risen to an over-excited screech and Danny's eyebrows were already in his hair.

'Okay, okay, you can tell me this over dinner, I'm starving.'

'Yees, let's eat, I'm sure you'll love this dish, you always love my cooking...' she burbled happily.

Danny sat down at the pink - adorned table as she put down the dish.

Mmmm, that does look good. At least this girl can cook, unlike -

'So, shall we eat?' she said sweetly, coating her words with maple syrup.

'Yeah!' he said, having awoken from his reverie, and picked up his knife and fork eagerly. His fork was inches away from the dish, ready to scoop out a large helping, when suddenly it disappeared from sight, and he nearly fell flat face onto the table, carried by his momentum.

'Waaaaaiiit! I almost forgot, I'm guessing you handsome looks made me forget,' she said seductively.

'What?' he said, half confused, half annoyed.

'It's in my family tradition. Once you fall in love, you must always spit into your cooking to show your devotion to each other!' she said excitedly.

Danny just watched in mild disgust as she gathered up the saliva in her mouth and spat it in. He'd instantly lost appetite.

She sat back down and took a portion of the dish for herself, as if nothing had just happened.

'Well, come on! The rest is yours!' she said, peering at him.

'And... you've done that for how long...?' he said.

'Ooooh, didn't you know? Ever since we met! I knew it was true love the moment I saw you face!'

She batted her eyelashes.

I didn't find that funny either.

:(