Gay Day

15/10/2010 – Okay, I've finally edited this, thanks to the nagging of my annoying little sis (not really). Gay Day was my first fic, and a few days back I realized that it really needed a bit of editing. BUT since it's so close to my heart and all that, I just made a few minor changes to the grammar, and... I put in page breaks! A reviewer PMed me, and told me that half the humor of the story was gone because of the absence of page breaks. So this one's for you.

0o0o0

Disclaimer: Sob…sob…..No! Leave me alone! (with due melodrama) Sorry, guys! You see, my mom said she can't get me the rights to Harry Potter on my birthday….do you think Lord Voldemort would if I asked him?

"The Homos Potion: It affects the part of the male brain which dictates romantic attraction and changes it to attraction for the other sex. It has been noticed that the object of attraction is the one for whom the subject feels the most emotion- be it love, fear or hatred. It's most widespread use was probably when Professor Sniyder, the Potions Master for Hogwarts from 1865-1904 accidentally dropped a vial of potion into the students' soup while in the kitchen."

Fred shut Moste Potente Potions. "Well, what do you know… studying is fun." The twins' smirks were identically evil. "What do you say we….commemorate Gay Day, Fred?" George asked innocently. They both cackled evilly.

0o0o0

"WHAAAAT?"

Ron had just taken a sip of pumpkin juice when eyes went round and he spat it out directly on Harry's face. "Thanks a bunch, Ron." Harry said, wiping his glasses.

"I could have sworn he wasn't gay." Ron said, not listening to a word Harry said.

"Who?" Harry, Hermione and Ginny asked in unison. Ron pointed to the Ravenclaw table.

Their jaws dropped. Michael Corner had Terry Boot in a liplock directly on the table. The other Ravenclaws were edging away from the snogging couple.

"No way!" Ginny shrieked. Harry and Ron winced as their Mrs. Weasley- damaged eardrums were torn apart again. "I went out with a gay person!"

"Wait… you went out with Michael Corner?"

"Well, yeah, Ron, that was so last year!"

Before Ron's temper could match the color of his hair, another commotion broke out at the Slytherin table. "Now what?" Ron took a large gulp of his pumpkin juice. A large number of Slytherins apparently seemed to be holding Draco Malfoy back.

He managed to break away from them and rushed over to the Gryffindor table, flinging himself on the table directly before Harry.

"Harry, say that you love me!"

A stunned silence grew in the hall. Harry's mouth was so wide open, he could have swallowed an entire Hippogriff whole. A voice spoke from behind him.

"Are you kidding me? Harry loves me, you stupid twit!" Ron Weasley looked expectantly at Harry.

"Umm…actually I…" Harry started but no one was actually bothering to listen to him.

"You worthless Weasel!"

"You slimy Slytherin!"

And it went on. And on.

Hermione and Ginny were still staring dumbfounded, when they felt someone appear behind them.

"How do you like the entertainment, ladies?" Fred asked, smirking. "We did our best." George appeared on the other side.

"Wait, you did this?" Hermione asked. "A bit of Homos Potion in everyone's pumpkin juice, my dear."

"And now, if you'll excuse us…."

"…..we have a show to watch."

They walked away, grinning.

"What's Homos Potion?" Ginny asked, lost. "It's a potion which makes a straight guy gay. And umm… it's effects take a while to wear of-" Hermione's explanation was cut off by a loud shriek.

"Oh, no! My brother is snogging my boyfriend!"

Sparks began to fly. $$###$$$!

Ron and Draco's fight had turned physical by now. Hermione took the opportunity to explain things to a bewildered Harry.

Comprehension dawned in his face. He rushed forward to stop them. "Guys! Ron! Okay, Stop now!"

Both turned to look at him. Draco said "Well, I'd still look better in a bikini than him anyway. I mean, red hair would clash horribly with a pink bikini. While on me….gorgeous."

"Would not! Accio Ginny's pink bikini!"

"AARGH! RONALD WEASLEY WHAT ARE YOU THINKING SUMMONING MY DAMN BIKINI!"

Most of the students ran to the Hospital Wing, clutching their ears.

0o0o0

On the Quidditch Pitch

"Why are Crabbe and Goyle rubbing against each other anyway?"

"Umm… I'm no expert, but I think that's the way rocks reproduce, you know- rubbing against each other to produce tiny little rocks?"

0o0o0

RED ALERT! RED ALERT! DUE TO CERTAIN UNAVOIDABLE CIRCUMSTANCES, THE SCHOOL (noise in background- Oh, Alastor, do get off Professor Flitwick) HAS BEEN DECLARED A (Minerva, please help Filius out) HOLIDAY TODAY!

"I'm surprised Dumbledore isn't snogging the heck out of someone."

"He was gay in the first place!"

0o0o0

"Hey guys, where's Neville"?

Gossip Girl 1: You haven't heard? He just got detention for the next 100 million years starting now!

"Seriously? What did he do?"

GG2: You are so not gonna believe this. He just rushed out of the Great Hall and came back with this tiny seed box and he actually had the nerve to walk up to Snape (yeah, you heard right). And guess what was in it?

GG1: A ring made out of Devil's Snare! And he went down on his knees and said

GG 1 and 2: Will you marry me?

Silence. More silence. THUMP!

GG1: Where's Ginny?

THUMP!

GG2: Hermione's disappeared as well!

"Why is everyone lying on the floor?"

0o0o0

A/N: This is my first ever fic, guys, so no flames, OK?

REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!