:Lol, well I hope you guys enjoy this one. It will most likely be a chapter story. Inspiration from something my very good friend sent me. It made me laugh…to say the least.

Sex Tips

Sex tip number one:

---You should have SEX on days that begin with T:

Thanksgiving

Tuesday

Thursday

Today

Tomorrow

We'll go with today.

:Today…Atha mansion.:

He eyed her as she walked on by, paperwork that she had no intention of doing in her hand. Today was…well…today, and today, just so happened to begin with T. Doesn't it always?

She didn't notice his stare apparently, and was oblivious to the fact that she was being stalked. She would turn around whenever she thought she saw something, there was nothing there, but whenever she wasn't looking, Athrun would pop out and find a new place to hide when she turned around again. She shrugged it off and continued walking.

She began making her way up the grand staircase, but stopped and abruptly turned around when she heard footsteps from behind her. Once again, nothing there. Athrun quickly made his move when she was turned back around and ran up the stairs. Before she had time to turn around he tackled her to the floor and she fell with an 'OOF!' and her papers fluttered everywhere.

"Athrun, what do you want?"

"Do you know what's special about today, Cagalli?"

"Am I getting married again? Cuz if it's that purple haired madcap with a god complex coming back from the dead to haunt me, so help me god I-

"No, that's not it!"

"Oh, well then, what?"

"Today begins with T."

Cagalli almost laughed out loud and gave him an incredulous look.

"Yeah…and?"

"You should have sex on days that begin with T."

She froze, mocking smile rubbing off on to his mouth.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!"

Athrun grabbed her and dragged her into their bedroom, still shocked out of her mind. As the door closed behind the two, it got all quiet and Cagalli suddenly spoke.

"Hey Athrun?"

"Yes?"

"…Today can be used on any day, and today always begins with a T."

"…Exactly."

---Top 10 Places to have sex:

Location number one:


In your parents bed.

Milly and Dearka were getting a bit on the intimate side tonight, or at least trying to. Here's the problem:

"Dearka, I hate my bed, let's go do it somewhere else."

"Like where, it's not like your parents are out of town in Bermuda for 2 weeks or anything," He said idiotically.

"Dearka you idiot! They are out of town in Bermuda for 2 weeks!"

"Alright!" Dearka pumped a fist into the air and excitement. "So, where to?"

"Let's do it in my parents' bed!"

"Hell yeah!"

They both scampered off into Milly's parents' room. All was well, until there was a crash.

"DEARKA!"

Inside the room, was a smashed vase from Italy. Dearka had knocked it off while switching positions.

"I'm sorry, it wasn't my fault!"

"Yes it was! I told you my leg didn't bend that way!"

"Yeah, after it smashed into your parents' treasured vase!"

"You know what, forget it, I'll just kill you and tell my parents a burglar broke in!" She picked up the sheet and wrapped it around his neck and attempted to choke him with it. They rolled around on the bed as Dearka tried to free himself. Milly pushed down on him and he'd push back up. The started bouncing, making it look like they were doing something far more inappropriate then what they were actually doing…if trying to kill some one was more appropriate than sex. Sometime during that time, Cagalli, Athrun, Kira, Lacus, Yzak, and Shiho stopped in for the party they were having, the party that Dearka and Milly weren't ready for yet. Mu and Murrue would also be dropping in…as soon as they were done in the car, that is.

Cagalli and Athrun began searching for their lost friends.

"Hey, Milly, parties here!" Cagalli called, and then heard noises coming from the main bedroom. They sounded, sexual.

Behind the door, Milly was well on her way to trying to kill Dearka.

"Milly…are you…out of your…fucking mind!" he said quietly.

"Baby, I'm just getting started!"

That was when Cagalli tuned in from right outside the door, unknown to Milly and Dearka, unfortunately.

"Milly, you're gonna kill me if you keep going like that!"

"Maybe you wouldn't have to worry so much if you didn't break it!"

"It's not my fault I broke it! Maybe if you weren't so crazy it wouldn't have!"

"Oh, so now it's my fault that I can't move in that position!

Cagalli was stifling her laughter from behind the door when Athrun came up behind her; followed by the rest, save for Mu and Murrue, who we will be getting too shortly.

"What's up?" Athrun asked in a whisper.

"Listen to this, they're really getting into it in there,"

"Dearka I swear to god, if you keep moving around like that I'm gonna scream!"

"Go ahead maybe it will make this end quicker and painlessly!"

"Fine, then I will…after I kill you!" She tightened the sheet she had around his neck and they began bouncing again as Dearka tried to free himself.

"You're gonna have to try harder than that, Milly,"

"How much harder?"

"Harder,"

"Like this?"

"Harder!"

"Hard like this?"

"HARDER!"

"I AM!"

"Ouch, ok, that's hard enough," She was damn near strangling Dearka.

"Now, maybe you could move yourself down a little more, and start that bouncing thing over again…" Milly gave him a glare that shut his mouth.

Dearka than deiced to just screw it and flipped her over, much to her surprise, and pulled the sheet off of his neck and tied her hands to the bedposts.

"YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY NOW!"

Just as Milly was about to let lose a horrendous scream, the door busted open, freezing the two on the bed.

"Oh, this is just TOO good!"

Milly then screamed…louder than she ever did before in her life.

---Top 10 Places to have sex:

Location number two:

In a car

:Outside of Milly's house, Mu and Murrue's car:

Well, I'm sure we all know what's going on by now in the car, so we'll just get right to the point. Inside the rocking car and through the steamy windows, were Mu and Murrue, as we all know. After getting to Milly's house, the two lovers decided to take a shot of one of the many bottles of vodka and such they brought a long. As a result, somehow, between the alcohol and the attempts to get out of the car, they lost their clothes. Mu pulled her into the back seat where they initiated in a bit of sexual activities.

About 3 minutes later, they were lying there, in the back seat of their car, in Milly's driveway. What a way to have sex for the first time in two years. That was when Mu decided to open his mouth, but, the wrong words came out.

Top three things NOT to say after having sex

Number one:

"Was that it?"

Murrue jerked herself up and looked him square in the eyes.

"You asshole! I just had sex with you in a car in Milly's driveway for God's sake! And that's all you have to say?"

"N-n-NO! What I meant by that was, was that it, or do you wanna do it again?"

Next thing he knew her fist was reeled back and then slammed right back in to his face.

She pulled her clothes on hastily and slammed the car door shut to head into Milly's. He pulled his clothes on as well and sat in the driver's seat. He put his hands on the steering wheel and banged his head off of it violently.

"STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"

He eventually stopped and looked out the window.

"God, I am such an idiot!"

He sighed and decided to get out of the car and head into Milly's house, trying not to think of what Murrue was about to do to him. Once he reached the front door, he could hear the screaming and slamming. He opened the door slowly to see Milly and Dearka chasing each other around clad in only towels. He was about to dive into the mess when Milly picked up a very heavy looking vase and tossed it…and missed her original target. Instead she hit Mu square in the head, and he fell over with a thud, on the ground. But before he passed out, he had just a few choice words.

"I'm ok…"

"Oops…"

"Way to go, Miriallia," Dearka mocked while gaping at Mu on the ground unconscious.

"Shut up, Dearka!"

"He deserved it," Murrue spoke.

"Well that sucks," Cagalli laughed.

"Yeah…it really does," Athrun agreed.

"Dude, that was awesome!" Yzak shouted.

"I think you killed him," Kira voiced his opinion.

They all froze.

"Oh boy,"

:Hehe, well I hope this wasn't too out of line. And I hope it was maybe just slightly on the amusing side. There will be more if you guys enjoyed it xD