Chapter 1: New Beginnings
In our world, it is believed our heart is our soul. It defines who we are and guides us through our journey in life. The heart can be the source of extraordinary abilities and some people have the ability to call forth on these otherworldly abilities.
They are simply dubbed as 'Heartinvokers' or 'Invokers', for short.
I have never understood why only some people seem capable of these abilities, and probably never will.
Some believe that Invokers are here to protect others from the dark creatures that sometimes plague us and try to feed of our hearts.
I always thought that people only took advantage of these people and their powers. That Heartinvokers are only tools to be used then later discarded, feared or hated because they are different.
But you showed me otherwise…you brought him to me…you lead my heart to his, so that both could be healed and become stronger. You put me in charge of his protection and will graciously accept this duty in your stead.
Even now, when you are so far away, I can still feel the compassion your heart gave us. The warmth of your light somehow still present and guiding us…
It's a shame….I honestly wish that I would have had the chance to actually meet you. Or who knows, maybe we will in another life….
Bur for now, I will always take care of his heart for it has become a part of mine just like mine has become a part of his…I'm sure he'll protect my heart as well…
For this, I thank you….you can rest now and may your heart be forever at peace…brother…
A pubescent male voice drew the mind of the young man named Squall Leonhart (most commonly known as 'Leon'), out of its ponderous slumber. He laid on his back, one arm was comfortably tucked under his pillow while the other rested on his stomach. A presence was present beside him, he could feel it and he frowned in his sleep.
"Big broootheeeerrr" the voice sing-sang when Leon refused to open his eyes the man's subconscious was trying to piece together the haunting dream it had been projecting.
The voice went silent. For a moment Leon was grateful, and he snuggled more into his pillow...until he felt the mischief emanating from his younger brother….
Suspicion that was confirmed when the weight of another body flopped onto his stomach quickly followed by an air horn blown right into his ear. Goes without saying that the brunette man's slaty eyes shot wide open as his body practically jumped into a sitting-down position.
Glaring down through choppy messy bangs, at his knees, where the culprit of the rather rude awakening had rolled onto his back as Leon had sat up. The adult roared "Sora!"
"Hey! You're awake!" came the chipper reply.
Leon clicked his tongue while jerking his palpitating ear, scowl still in place "Was that really necessary?"
"Now you know how I feel when you do it" the brunette teen replied nonchalantly putting an arm behind his head and slowly swayed the can from side to side. "Plus, you're a bit late. Been trying to wake you up"
The adult stole a glance at the alarm clock on his night stand and it was almost eight in the morning. He was more than a little late for work. Leon sighed hiding his face into his hands to rub off the little sleep left on his face.
"You ok Leon?" the carefree tone was completely replaced with concern, blue eyes looking up at the hidden face.
A tired sigh and a hand lazily ran through messy chocolate hair "Yea…Yea. Why are you up so early?"
"I sensed your distress." Sora picked up the silver crown shaped charm that hung from the chain around his neck and tapped it as part of his answer. The older brother gave a short hum.
"Right. It was just the same dream as usual." Leon then massaged one of his shoulders.
"Oh. So it's gonna be one of those days, huh?"
"I hope not…" Leon said through a stifled yawn "Anyways. You. Off" one of the adult's long legs slid from under Sora's body so that he could push off the teen with it. Sora let out a whine as his body was pushed by his brother's foot.
Leon had gotten on his feet, ignoring his younger brother's protest as the adult stumbled to the bathroom to start getting ready for work. The brunette man had gotten into the tub and stared at the running water through narrowed eyes. Leon's body was practically on autopilot as he scrubbed, rinsed, got out of the shower and brushed his teeth. All the while his mind in a ramble as he spaced out recalling the recurrent dream and all the strange feelings it caused him...
The brunette man replayed the dream in his head piece by piece in the same manner that he put on his favorite white v-neck shirt, followed by a pair of black, bootcut cargo pants. After tucking the shirt in, he buttoned and zipped his pants then abruptly stopped….he wondered why did he keep having the same dream during the last year. He frowned to himself as he picked his socks and boots and slumped on his bed to put them on.
It's always the same…he would walk endlessly, looking for something but he did not know what it was. Yet he craved it, no matter how much he walked, he never found what it was. Leon stood up, stretching his arms above his head with a barely audible grunt. If his dreams were trying to tell him something, why couldn't they just be clear from the get go? Quite frankly it was beginning to irk him…What bothered him most about that dream was the leftover feelings in his chest: He ended up frustrated yearning to find the answer….and another strong feeling he was not sure what name to give it, for none of the ideas that went through his head seemed to quite fit it. Accommodating the lion head pendant that never left his neck, Griever, Leon proceeded to put a silver parka jacket and headed out the room to have some breakfast. Sora was already dressed and ready to go, his attire: A sky blue v-neck shirt, a sleeveless red vest, black short cargo pants and a pair of dark gray, desert combat styled boots.
Leon was thankful that Sora was a homeschooler, that they were both spared the morning stress. Leon was the right hand of a man named Cid Highwind, acting more or less as sort of supervisor in the workshop the latter owned. Sora would tag along and help around the shop more often than not. Highwind, was a highly frequented workshop that also offered delivery services. It was a two story, spacious building where the second floor served as Cid's living quarters. Cid, was usually in the garage fixing and building. Leon was usually in charge of the delivery services the shop offered and kept the shop in order (though he would also lend a hand on the workshop).
When they arrived at said shop, they entered through the spacious garage. The place was well lit thanks to the windows strewn across. Long wooden high tables were scattered throughout, tools inside boxes or hanging form hooks on the walls, archives give the place a professional and organized feel. There was an door that led to the interior of the workshop.
As Sora pushed open the door in a way he would say was with 'style' he announced "Watch out everyone, I have arrived"
A young woman, whom was the same age as Leon, was at the counter to their left wiping the cash registers until turned to face the brothers, her caramel hair that was tied in a single long braid swung behind her back. Her emerald green eyes bright as she straightened her pink button down shirt and she cleaned one of her hand on her light blue jeans.
"Sora, Leon! Good morning!"
"Heya Aerith!"
"Good mornin' Aer"
Both brothers replied at the same time, Sora in his energetic voice and Leon in a more mellow one. The voice of another young woman piped in. She sported a pine green tank top with light brown capri pants and she was two years younger than Aerith and Leon.
"Hey, I thought I heard squirty's voice in here"
"We're here Yuff!" the brunette teen greeted with a wave.
"Hey-yo, Sora!" a high five added to their greeting, Leon passing by them and leaned casually against the counter
"Where's Cid?" Leon's question was quickly answered as the man in question came from out of Leon's office, which was located to their left.
"Right 'ere" the blonde man was putting on his blue parka jacket over the gray shirts he usually wore. blue, worn jeans and an old pair of work boots. "'mornin', for a moment there I thought ya were not gonna come to work"
"I over slept a little…" the response was left hanging in the air, it was not necessary to finish it.
"Having problems with your powers again Leon?" Aerith asked concerned as she placed a tender hand on his shoulder.
"Just a little. I'll be fine" he assured patting the hand on his shoulder
"That's what you said last time and you almost lost your shit again" Yuffie sighed exasperatedly as she scratched her head
"You've said it: almost" he countered in a flat tone as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"Well, before ya pipsqueaks start bickerin', Leon, I left ya the 'to do' list on yer desk. I'll most probably be out for tha rest of tha day so, you're completely in charge."
Sora tilted his head to the side while crossing his arms over his chest in a curious manner "Where you going gramps?"
"I'm helping a friend move over from Midgar. I think I found us a new delivery man, which means he'll be under your wing Leon. He'll be helping ya with the deliveries and around the workshop."
"Good. That means the deliveries won't be delayed any longer" Leon exclaimed in a sigh of relief
"What's his name Cid?" Aerith inquired in her usual calm voice, but the glint in her eyes suggested nothing but curiosity and excitement.
"Cloud Strife" Cid replied.
"Huh? Cloud? You mean like the puffy things we see in the sky?" Sora arched an eyebrow and smiled incredulously, placing his hand on his hips and tilted his head to the side. Cid really tried hard not to, but he couldn't contain the snort that escaped him.
"Yea Kid, just like those. He also has a younger brother that's yer same age Sor. He's a homeschooler like you, so he might be helping around as well." the older man replied
"Cool! Can't wait to meet them then!"
Leon had remained quiet, his arms crossed over his chest and eyes squinted in deep thought. That name…Cloud…it had provoked a strange sensation within him. There was odd sense of familiarity behind it. A name of conflict, uncertainty; fierce and sharp. Yet there was also something soft and gentle about it. Indeed, Leon found himself repeating the name as he looked for where to place the odd feelings...
"Hey Squally squirt, you still with us?" Cid waved his hand in front of the younger man's face. Leon shook his head to get himself out of his thoughts
"Huh? What?"
"You spaced out for a moment there" Sora pointed out
"Oh. No. I was just…" he cleared his throat "So uh, is he good?" he used first question that came to mind in order to shift the attention away from himself.
"He's young, maybe three years or two then you. He's a quick learner so I'm sure he'll be able to help ya with deliveries or any repairs. Plus, he needs this job…"
Leon noted that the way Cid's word trailed off and the way he had frowned, had been both in sympathy and empathy for this Cloud person. He wondered what was the story there, but it was not his problem and wouldn't prod, so he would keep his curiosity to himself.
"Well, we should get to work. I'll keep an eye on everything" Leon assured, trying to ignore the pressing curiosity in him.
At Cid's nod, Aerith, Yuffie and Sora went back to the garage to organize some things. Leon had begun to move towards his office when Cid suddenly spoke as he just remembered that he wanted ask the young man something.
"Ah right! Squall, can I talk to ya a sec?."
Called by his real name and not by his preferred one or 'Squirt'…it was something serious. Leon stopped in his tracks and looked at Cid, whom gave him a serious knowing look, looking straight into each other's eyes as if they were having a silent conversation. Before Cid could talk, Leon knew exactly what the other man wanted to talk to him about. The feeling of unease and concern were as clear as words to Leon.
"You said you were bein' troubled….what 'bout squirty? His powers are not actin' up too, right?"
"No, not for the moment. His powers are in check and whenever we have to fight, I do most of the fighting. You know…not to put strain on his body and heart…"
"Hmmm…Don't ya think yer protecting him a bit too much?"
"More like, I don't want to take unnecessary risks. Sora's heart is unstable, you know that"
"That may be. But ya hafta give him a bit more space ta grow, ya know?"
"Yea. I know but…." Leon trailed off looking away from his elder with a contemplative frown. The younger man was conflicted; in part he knew Cid was right and he really didn't want to overprotect Sora so much. But another part of him didn't want to risk Sora's sporadic condition. Cid looked at Leon, waiting for the gunblader to finish his answer.
"…Is that all you wanted to tell me, Cid?" Leon sighed turning to look at Cid again. The gruff man, remained silent for a short moment, wondering if he should press the issue or not. He sighed and said
"Fine…get back to work squirt. See ya in the afternoon." Cid said in a low voice, looking away from Leon and dismissed him with a few quick flick of the wrists.
Leon nodded and returned to his work, although, by the way Cid had dismissed him, he knew that the man hasn't completely given up on the subject entirely.
It was a breezy afternoon. The sun would start to set at any moment and the breeze only seemed to get stronger. Or maybe that was simply because there was not much traffic in the highway, making it perfect for a move, all the way from Midgar to Radiant Gardens. Almost a three hour drive. And for Cloud and Roxas Strife, it couldn't be better, since everything has been like going downhill for the two brothers, especially during the last year. The year, when Zack died and just when he had proposed marriage to Cloud…It has been a devastating blow.
It has been a big struggle: each trying to mourn the loss of someone that was supposed to be like a family to them. Cloud had lost his job, they had been about to get evicted from their home…it had all been too much, it was starting to take a significant toll on Cloud's overall health.
Thankfully, Cid, a friend of Cloud, had offered the latter a job at his shop and that he could help them with the move. So with the little savings Cloud had, they had managed to find a decent and affordable apartment. The brothers didn't have too many possessions, so Cid could easily take it all on his ten footer truck. Roxas and Fenrir (a stray wolf-dog the Strife brothers had adopted years ago) would ride with Cid on the truck, Cloud opted for riding his black and gold sports motorcycle. He hated riding inside cars mostly because he would get motion sick, therefor he would avoid riding in them unless necessary or if he was the one driving.
"Damn, Spiky jr., I 'ad no idea how thin Spiky had got'en" Cid remarked, shooting Roxas a quick glance before turning to look out at Cloud in front of them, as they waited for the green light.
"Oay …though he's eatin' more lately…y meddma" Roxas frowned in contemplative concern as he petted Fenrir's head. Cid overlooked the words that had escaped Roxas' tongue in his native language, Nibel, he understood some words here and there. At least the young teen's accent in the common tongue was understandable, unlike some folk that spoke Nibel.
"Don't worry kiddo, I'm sure it'll go better for ya guys here in Radiant Gardens. It's a big city but it's much more tranquil then Midgar….an' cleaner"
"I hope…Cloud's changed…" The teen remarked in a low dispirited tone, looking down to his lap. The light changed from red to green and they started moving again. Cid sighed scratching his head as he said
"The change of scenery will 'elp him. Plus, I'm sure Spiky can handle that job I offered him"
"I hope…he was unsure of going with all of this"
"You and I both know how stubborn yer brother can be….but he comes around" the adult flashed the adolescent a re-assuring grin, earning a small and just a bit unsure smile from the teen.
"Thanks for all ur help Cid"
"'Ey, no prob, kiddo. Ya both been through a lot, it's time fer a change." Cid reached out a hand to ruffle Roxas' head, whom gave a light chuckle
After just a few more minutes of driving through busy streets, they arrived at a small apartment complex located on the northern part of the city. The area that was mostly known for the largest and lush gardens of the city.
The apartment buildings were only about eight floors high, with what seemed like maybe five or four apartments per floor. Though the area didn't look exactly luxurious, it definitely looked decent. They all got off from their respective vehicles. Roxas looked up with widened eyes and whistled in awe, Cloud stood beside him and looked up as well, but with a more neutral look on his face.
"Wow Cloud! This place looks nice!" Roxas turned to his brother enthusiastically but Cloud only responded with a small grunt, his eyes still looking up at the structure.
"How'd you find this place?" the younger Strife asked in a much less energetic tone, discouraged by Cloud's reaction, or lack thereof.
"Cid helped" the eldest replied in an neutral tone, which Roxas considered was an improvement. The youngest Strife sighed looking away from Cloud.
"Oi, Spiky and Spiky jr., are you gonna move in or you gonna stand there all day?!" Cid exclaimed with a grin as he opened the back of the truck to start unloading it. Fenrir barked as if agreeing with the middle aged man.
"Lusehk! " Roxas ran off excitedly, opting for not letting his brother's sullen mood get to him.
Cloud sauntered over to the truck after a few more seconds of contemplation and a faint sigh: He was certainly exhausted, his body wasn't exactly in tip top condition and the move had drained out of him more than it should have. Cloud wanted to be done as soon as possible. But he hoped, that he had made the right decision on moving to Radiant Gardens. Midgar hadn't only gotten near impossible to live in…it also harbored way too many memories….painful ones.
Between the three of them they managed to get the things up into the apartment fairly quickly, much to Cloud's relief. Although all the Strife brothers really had for furniture was a couch, the dinner table with two chairs and the two beds, aside from their clothing and few personal possessions. Roxas and Fenrir seemed delighted with their new home, their apartment was on the eighth floor. The place was a fair size for just two people, which was all they really needed and what Cloud's pocket could only really afford, at least at the moment.
The kitchen and the living room were separated by the small hallway that led to the two rooms. There was a bathroom in the hall and another in the master bedroom. In the living room, there was also a sliding door that led to the medium sized balcony, that overlooked one of Radiant Gardens' market places, and a ancient historical castle in the distance. A castle that looked like it had been taken straight out of a story book, or one of those games Roxas played; enigmatic and huge in size, it spawned an aura of both dread and wonder.
"Welp, I think that all yer stuff." Cid announced as he placed a box on top of the table, then dusting off his hands. Cloud came from behind him and placed another box on the table as well.
"Thanks for the help, Cid" Cloud still spoke in a low dejected tone, though his features were formed into a soft frown. But Cid knew he meant his gratitude, the elder didn't take Cloud's dispirited demeanor personally. Cid sighed and placed a comforting hand on the young man's shoulder.
" 'ey, lis'en Spiky. I'm very sorry fer yer loss. Jus' give yerself some time, won't be easy but…" Cid trailed off for a moment and turned to look at Roxas whom was in the balcony whipping his head from right to left inspecting the view. Fenrir was beside the teen, standing on his hind legs while wagging his long fluffy tail.
"The kiddo still needs ya. An' I know, that he means a lot to ya too. I'm sure Zack would've wanted tha best fer tha both of ya"
At Cid's words, Cloud lowered his head further and an all too familiar pain ran through his chest. He felt his eyes water, but he managed to keep the tears at bay…at least for the moment. He couldn't and wouldn't let himself break, and he would've probably snapped or shun himself away if it had been someone else telling him words of comfort. But not Cid, not someone that had helped him so much to at least try and make an attempt to put his life back on track.
'If that's even possible…' Cloud thought
"How 'bout ya start work after 'morrow? Take yer time settling an' stuff" Cid had barely finished his sentence when Cloud replied.
"Tomorrow is fine" Cloud replied hastily and just a bit harsh, though anger wasn't really intended towards the older man.
"Ya sure kid? You look like you could use some rest"
"I'm fine Cid." though the tone had been low, it had held a sternness to it that left little to no space to refute.
Cid had too much experience with stubborn men (a certain man came to mind), and he also wagered that Cloud wanted to keep himself busy, as a way to cope with his grief. So, Cid decided not to argue anything further and only sighed in defeat.
"A'right. Tomorrow at seven then?"
"I'll be there"
"K, see ya then. See ya kiddo!" Cid shouted to Roxas with a grin as he turned to leave
"Caa oy, Cid!" Roxas shoot back speaking Nibel once again.
Cid exited, shutting the door behind him. Cloud stood where he was for a few more moments with the same dejected frown, before he started opening the box and started to take out basic kitchen utensils from it. Roxas walked over to him, he kneeled on the chair that was opposite to Cloud and started to help his brother. Fenrir simply sat and stared at his owners thumping his tail from time to time.
"Cyo, Cloud?"
"Oac?"
"….fro tuh'd fa ku aqbmuna? Oui ghuf, kad du ghuf uin haf rusa?"
"E fung dusunnuf. E's denat. Yht fro yna oui cbaygehk Hepam? Oui cruimt bnyldela ouin lussuh duhkia."
"I like speaking our tongue" Roxas rubbed the back of his head " 'sides my common tongue is…my common tongue is…what that word again? kuut?"
"Good"
"Ah! Nekrd! Good, my common tongue is good"
"You keep forgetting words and mixing both languages" Cloud remarked with an eyebrow raised
"But I can still speak it" Roxas countered smugly. Cloud hummed in approval while keeping his face straight, deciding not to doubt his little brother's confidence.
"If you say so. I'm going to lay down for a while, we can deal with this later." the elder brother walked off into his room not even giving Roxas the chance to respond.
"Ug, veha…" Roxas said through a sigh to himself as he deflated, proceeding to unpack more of the contents inside the box to keep himself entertained.
He really hoped that, moving to Radiant Gardens would really allow them the fresh start they so desperately needed….
It was ten pm in the city of Midgar, even though it was dark the ambient felt hot and dense. Zack was in the middle of the living room doing his patented squats while Fenrir watched him, his head bobbing every now and then along Zack's movements.
"Where…is…he?. His food…is…cold" Zack said out loud, with a squat between every word. He had been very anxious. Cloud hadn't return home and even though he had told Zack he was going to come home about an hour late, and Zack couldn't help but worry. Especially since Cloud had the annoying tendency to sometimes, quite literally, forget about the existence of his cell phone. Zack stopped his exercises and sighed looking at the clock on the wall
"10:30….come on spike, you're worrying me outta my wits here…."
Right on cue, coming for the hall outside, he heard the distinct sound of jingling keys; Cloud's keys. Fenrir's ears perked up and the canine bolted towards the door and stood there in anticipation as the sound of a key entering the lock was followed by a click that brought relief to Zack's chest. As soon as Cloud opened the door, Fenrir stood on his hind legs and assaulted Cloud with licks. Being half the size of Cloud, he nearly knocked the blonde man down.
"Whoa! hey, easy boy!" Cloud yelped, barely being able to keep his balance, Zack chuckled at the sight.
"Fenrir, ced!" Cloud commanded in Nigel and the canine immediately obeyed and sat down, though he still wagged his tail frantically as he panted.
"Kuut puo" Cloud patted Fenrir's head with a relieved sigh, grateful that Fenrir was an obedient dog. Cloud turned around to close and lock the door, when he turned back again, Zack had walked up to him and was pulling him into a welcoming embrace.
"Can I have my turn to kiss you hello now?" Zack asked through a warm smile, the kind of smile Cloud loved, as he rested his forehead on Cloud's and brushed their noses together. Cloud hummed in approval and tilted his head upwards to peck his taller lover on the lips, whom responded with another peck before they locked in a loving, warm and welcoming kiss.
"Missed me?" Cloud asked after he broke the kiss.
"Like a child misses their blanket. I was getting worried, Spike"
"Uv luinca oui fana" Cloud smirked, not at all surprised by that fact. Zack hummed with a grin.
"Did you eat?" Zack asked
"No. Was very busy…I'm starving. But I want to take a shower first…I really need it"
"Ah-huh. Couldn't agree more" Zack pulled Cloud's head to his nose and inhaled. In all fairness, Cloud didn't smell too bad. The young man only smelled like when you spend too much time under a blistering sun, mixed with the carbon dioxide emitted from cars. But he wanted to tease his younger lover, so he scrunched his nose while saying
"Phew! You're one stinky Chocobo!"
Cloud slightly pouted as he shoved a laughing Zack.
"Is Roxas asleep?" Cloud asked as he started to make his way to his and Zack's room.
"Yes. I helped him with one of his lessons, he's getting better."
"Ok, good. I'll be right back then."
"I'll heat your food in the meantime"
With a nod Cloud disappeared down the short hall and into their room to take his desired shower. Zack knew Cloud would take a while, so he waited a few minutes before heating Cloud's food. He then sat on the sofa with his head thrown back, his arms stretched to the sides and closed his eyes. Zack dozed off for a few moments. What woke him up was the feeling of someone looking at him and the scent of a very soft and subtle cologne that graced his nose. It smelled fresh, almost like soap. Zack opened his eyes to see Cloud hunched forward with his hands on his knees, smiling at him with those brilliant eyes of his. His golden spikes flattened and dripping from the dampness.
"You fell asleep?" Cloud asked with a slight tilt of his head. Zack smiled and responded
"More like, just resting my eyes"
"Mm. Right." Cloud drawled with a smirk, Zack reached out for one of his lover's arms and gently pulled him towards him. Cloud sat straddling on the older man's lap, wrapping his porcelain arms around the tanned neck.
"Do I smell good now?" Cloud purred into Zack's neck playfully.
"Exquisite" Zack responded in pleasured sigh after he had inhaled the alluring scent of Cloud's shampoo.
They rested their foreheads against eachother, Zack pecked Cloud on the lips and Cloud did the same. One peck then another until they were locked in a slow blissful kiss. Their tongues gently rubbed against the other's, tasting the depths of eachother's mouths. Cloud cupped the sides of Zack's head, gently breaking the kiss to look into Zack's eyes with half lidded eyes and parted lips. Zack stared back with the same expression, there was desire in their eyes, love swelled their chest accompanied by the need to feel eachother.
Cloud pulled Zack into another kiss, this one, was more passionate and a bit more quick in pace to convey the need for one another. Their tongues danced sensually together, between pants and moans they nibbled eachother's lips. Cloud massaged Zack's head, tangling his fingers between the raven, soft spikes while Zack ran his hands up Cloud's back lifting the gray shirt along the way. The older man's hands stopped their trail at the younger's shoulder blades to then run them back down to rest them on lithe hips.
The feeling of hands running up and down his back, made Cloud shudder, prickling his skin as he moaned into Zack's mouth once again. Zack responded by slithering his hands through the waist of Cloud's pajama pants and down to grope his butt cheeks. He pressed Cloud closer to him as he shifted his own hips to cause friction between their growing erections. The action caused Cloud to arch his back and throw his head back in a silent cry of pleasure, as he pressed Zack's face against his chest with one hand while the other hand held on to the sofa. Once they recovered from the sudden outburst of pleasurable ardor, they looked at eachother through a half lidded, knowing gaze.
"We should take this to the room…" Zack suggested between pants and a lustful look defining his eyes
"Agreed" Cloud panted, the agreement held an unmistakeable needy undertone.
That was all Zack needed to jump off the sofa with a startled Cloud hanging on to him for dear life by hooking his arms around the elder's neck and legs wrapped around his waist. Once in the room Zack undressed Cloud with the utmost of tenderness, kissing and caressing every inch of the fair, freckled skin. He then proceeded to take off his own clothing. They didn't rush, both men poured their love for one another in every touch and kiss, enjoyed the warmth of their heated skin. It drove Zack mad each time Cloud would arch his back to rub his arousal against his own. Zack had Cloud suck on the two fingers he would use to prepare him, eliciting beautiful sounds that would come from his younger lover's mouth whenever he would brush against that one delightful spot.
Cloud was turned on to his stomach, Zack entered him with slow, gentle thrusts. He placed kisses all over the blonde man's back and neck. When Zack thrust deeper to hit Cloud's prostate, the older of the two would place his hand over Cloud's mouth and lick the back of his ear. Cloud alternated between moaning or biting down on Zack's fingers, both would have the same effect on the raven haired man; a crashing wave of pleasure that would come out as guttural groans and quicker thrusts. It was one particular long and precise thrust that spurred Cloud's climax, the blonde let out a strangled cry as he threw his head back. The sensual and erotic sound that had escaped from Cloud had been enough to bring about Zack's orgasm.
The older man collapsed on top of Cloud, both men panting and shuddering with utmost satisfaction. One recovered, they laid on their side, beside each other. Cloud had his eyes closed, pillowing his head on one hand. Zack had his head propped in one hand as he gently caressed golden spikes with the other. He looked at his lover; that gentle expression, the relaxed even breathing. How much he adored Cloud and he knew that the other felt the same way…
Zack felt bad everytime he had to leave for a mission and spend so much time away from his beloved. But it's not like he had much of a choice…he was a Heartinvoker….he had a duty to protect Midgar…it was his burden for having powers…It didn't mean that whenever his heart was away from Cloud's it didn't actually pain him…
"Say, Cloud" he called and Cloud hummed in response.
"I…Do you think we could….move?" Zack asked uncertainly brushing his knuckles against Cloud's cheek. It was then that Cloud opened his eyes and stared at Zack with a questioning frown.
"Move? Where?"
"Away from Midgar…anywhere really…"
Now Cloud was really interested but still confused at his lover's sudden proposal, the younger propped up his own cheek on a fist as his blues pupils flickered around Zack's face.
"Where did this come from? Is there somethin' botherin' u, Zack?"
The older remained silent, his expression turning a little sad as he looked down at his own hand that was now plucking the sheets thoughtfully. After a while of waiting for an answer Cloud moved to gently push Zack back against the mattress so that he could lay himself over his older lover and kiss him deeply. After the loving kiss, Cloud moved down to press his ear against the beating in Zack's chest, hooking his arms under tanned shoulders for a loose embrace. Zack responded by wrapping his strong arms around the more lean frame.
"I'm just….I want something better for us, spike…This place…I'm getting tired of it" what Zack didn't say was that he was really growing worried and wary of the people he worked for. He considered Cloud and Roxas his family…He didn't want to leave them…but he didn't want to risk them either.
"Zack, to me, it doesn't matter where we go….just as long as we're together…all of us….but…we would have to save though. It might take us a bit"
"I can wait. We'll start saving as much as we can, I know we can do it" he planted a kiss on golden spikes
"Hm. Do you have any places in mind?"
Zack pulled his lips to the side as he thought of a few places he has heard of.
"Well, I've heard that Radiant Gardens is a nice city."
Cloud stood perplexed, in the middle of that pitch black abyss. Loneliness….was the only company.
Something warm yet cold gripping his very being: A constricting hold on his heart, it squeezed to suffocate.
The darkness around sneered and mocked the face contorted in pain. A sharp feeling plunged deeper into his chest, his heart constricted tighter. Breath came as a struggle, chopped between dry-heaves and gasps.
He scanned the void surrounding until, a few feet away, his eyes fell upon the backside of a familiar figure: Tall. Broad and well built. Tanned skin and black wild hair styled in spikes…
Cloud widened his eyes and he tried to call out the name that was so clear in his mind: Labored breathing was all Cloud's mouth managed to utter. As if alerted of Cloud's presence, the other man turned his head to the side seeming to look at Cloud out of the corner of the eye. Cloud tried to call out again, another stroke of pain killed the words he wanted to speak: Wincing as young features carved a pained frown. The blonde man fell to his knees clutching the left side of his chest.
That's when the other man completely turned to look at him…
That face was not the one Cloud remembered….dark blue eyes looked heavy, crinkles around the eyes made the man look older than what he should really be….his eyebrows were softly furrowed…lips were turned down at the corners…
Cloud could not stop his tears as he stared at the heart breaking expression on the other's face, he raised a shaky hand to reach out to the raven haired man. Then closed his eyes in that same pained expression as he slowly shook his head. A harsh, painful throb racked Cloud's chest and more tears fell: His left hand fisting the dark fabric that covered his left pectoral, while the right still remained outstretched towards the other man.
The man grinded his teeth and gave a sharp shake of the head, then looked at Cloud. His lips moved as they worded something, a feel of desperation and pain, seeming as if he was begging…But Cloud could not listen to any of it.
Instead, Cloud, whispered the other's name: Letters with barely energy behind them, lazily leaving his tongue. The other man shouted something Cloud still did not understood, in desperation and worry etching around his face.
At that same moment Cloud felt as he started to fall, finding how unusually heavy his body felt. Strength started to leave him as he was pulled down by chains he could not see. The abyss put a crushing pressure on his body, he opened his mouth to scream the dread that knotted his heart: Only to find that, he was starved of his breath as his lungs filled with water. Stretching out his arm upwards calling out in his mind for someone to help him…
And he sank deeper…
And deeper….
"Zaaaaacckkk!"the name left his throat in a ear shattering scream, hurting his throat in the process…
Cloud jerked up from his bed with an arm reached out, his sleeveless black shirt was drenched in cold sweat. One of the sleeves had slid off his shoulder revealing part of his pale, and now sweaty chest that heaved along with a pair of shoulders in heavy panting. Some of the blond spikes of his hair were dishevelled while others fell limply due to how damp they were in sweat.
Once the sleep induced haze cleared, his sky blue eyes studied the darkness around him, but this darkness was much clearer than the one he had just experienced thanks to the moonlight that seeped into the room from the window, but it was just as cold and lonely. After a short while his breathing became stable, but he was still taking deep breaths, clenching a fistful of the wet dark fabric on his chest. His mind was telling him that he was okay, that he was in his room where he was supposed to be….yet the unbearable pain that made his heart feel heavy and the anger that was gnawing at him refused to release their grip.
Though they were vague, images of the dream replayed in his head…
"Again….why won't it stop haunting me?….." the words where nothing more than a shaky whisper with a hint of despair in every word.
The blonde felt his stomach and heart drop to his feet and his eyes were becoming blurred again, only this time it was because of the tears that were beginning to form. Willing himself not let them fall, he swung his legs down to the floor but remained seated on the edge of the bed.
'Please stop….' he begged his mind, the gods, the universe…whoever was willing to listen to his plea.
However, the mind being the cruel thing it sometimes is, started replaying the dream that has become the cause of his sleepless, grief stricken nights. Leaning his elbows on his knees, he clasped his hands together intertwining his fingers, resting his chin on his thumbs, leaving his clasped hands pressed on his lips. For a while he stared out his window without focusing at anything, only desperate to shut off his fumbling mind; detach himself from the messy blob of feelings inside him…
His chest was growing tighter with grief, at this point he felt like if it were about to explode. The tears were threatening to start falling but he held them back with all the strength he didn't know where he was drawing from.
'Don't keep doing this to yourself, Cloud' A voice in his head told him, whether the voice was his or not he wasn't sure.
Cloud started to remember the way Zack would smile at him, the way he would comfort him when he felt unsure or frustrated, the jokes they would tell, the dreams they had together…..it was all a stab right through the heart. He felt his heart drop all the way to the floor, leaving a pressure and a void right in the middle of his chest followed by a pressure on his nose, a dry throat and eyes that started to sting as they were about to overflow.
'I love you, spike' then the memory of a sweet kiss.
Really, just how cruel and sadistic could his brain really be? He wondered. For it now reminded him of those words with that same exact voice… Zack's voice, that was the final straw that had to be drawn. Overwhelmed by the memories and the feelings, he couldn't steel himself any longer. The first tears fell one right after the other, desperate to be released, his hands started to shake, eyes squinting to such a degree that it created various creases around his lids and eyebrows. His lips turned down at the corners so much, that it could have seemed like they were about to reach his jaw line. Heat filled his ears, nose and cheeks, painting a red color in its wake. Cloud sobbed once, still trying to not let himself lose it, his room wasn't far from Roxas', any sound could easily echo through the hall and he did not want to alert his younger brother of his moment of weakness yet again. He sniffled and then coughed choking a bit with his own saliva when he swallowed hard to relief his dry throat. For a brief moment it seemed he had managed to stop himself, and for a briefer moment he thought he had composed himself.
Not long after, another but more violent sob escaped him, all efforts of trying to be strong and not disturb anybody dissipated as he broke down. Quickly he pressed the palm of his hands to his eyes as if that would stop the salty liquid that now roamed down his face. Palms still pressed on his eyes, he shook his head slightly gritting his teeth and clenching some of his golden locks with his fingers. The silence of his medium sized room echoed with an orchestra of deep sobs, whimpers, shaky breaths, groans, hiccups and an occasional raspy cough. Accompanied by an uncontrollable shake on the body and heaving shoulders.
"Damn….Zack…why…oh Zack…" the question he wanted to form died as he let out another deep sob, all the while still trying futilely to repress his tears.
The mourning blonde was so focused on his struggle to keep his emotions in check that he failed to notice that his door, which hadn't been completely closed off, was slowly creaking open. It was barely half way open when the snout of a dog emerged and sniffed only once and the canine poked his whole head in. Fenrir perked his pointy ears at the sound of Cloud's sobbing, squeezing his way through the door, he made his way into the room and towards the crying man: The dark purple, steel, bone shaped dog tags that hung on his collar jingled lightly to the rhythm of his steps. Fenrir lowered his ears back, when he sat in front of Cloud as he whined to get his master's attention. A bit startled Cloud lifted his tear stricken gaze to look directly into the canine's light blue eyes.
"Fenrir…" he whispered sadly. Tilting slightly to the side, the wolf-dog whined again pawing Cloud's knee a few times before leaving it there.
Cloud scoffed with a heartbreakingly sad smile, then taking a shaky breath and coughing. Tears still trickling down his reddened fair skin. If Fenrir was here then that would mean that….
"Cloud?" Roxas' slightly muffled voice came from the outside of the room. The question small and shy.
Cloud remained silent directing a somber frown towards Fenrir as he petted him. Whether it was pride or the empty feeling in him…or the mix of both, Cloud, did not want Roxas worrying over him. But somehow the teen had developed this acute sense for Cloud's distress, especially if he was having nightmares….a recurring habit during the past year.
The young teen peeked in his head first, much like Fenrir had done a few moments ago, his blue eyes were full of concern. After a small moment of hesitation, Roxas entered, gently closing the door behind him before he made his way towards the bed. Roxas sat on the empty side of the bed with his legs crossed, fiddling idly with his fingers, with eyes that were half lidded in concerned observation, his lips were turned down at the corners. His heart dropped at the state Cloud was in: Stuck in a depression that was consuming him in more ways than one…. He loathed to see Cloud like this…
"Cloud….I heard you scream-" he started but Cloud cut him off
"I'm fine Rox…..Fen….just…another nightmare" he said to the both his brother and his dog, trying to keep the strain off his voice whilst ruffling the black and greyish fur on the canine's head with one hand and held Fenrir's lower jaw with the other.
Roxas was about to argue a point, but he knew Cloud wouldn't have the energy nor the mental strength for any sort of argument so he decided it was best to just drop it and remain there in what he hoped would be comforting silence as once again, the feeling of helplessness settled in him. But he would hate to cause his brother any more stress and knew that, that would only make Cloud withdraw within himself more that he already has and that is certainly not an option.
Fenrir on the other hand moved from Cloud's hands and jumped onto the bed and sat there, beside the teen, looking at Cloud intently, wagging his tail only once or twice. Cloud looked at him and immediately understood what the animal wanted, he sniffled, dried more tears with the back of his hand, took a few deep breaths and after a few heartbeats he had managed to at least calm down the sobbing.
"all right…." he said before he sniffed.
Cloud swung his legs under the covers once again and laid on his back, not a second later, he felt Fenrir settle comfortably beside his legs.
Roxas looked down at his fingers as he continued to fiddle with them. This situation reminded him of all those years back when they were younger. Memories that he rather not think about were quickly pushed out of his mind. Nonetheless, the lingering feelings from said memories made themselves welcome: Frustration. Guilt. Helplessness…the last mentioned being the most prominent.
And like back then, Roxas did the only thing he could offer. Quietly, he stretched out on the bed, laying on his back beside his older brother, putting his legs under the covers…worried that, like most times, Cloud would refuse the comfort. In light of this, the teen opted to just keep the elder brother company just in case he would either go through a sleepless night or another nightmare.
Cloud made no sign of protest, in fact, he didn't say anything at all. Cloud kept his eyes fixed on the ceiling, Roxas looked at him for a little bit as he wondered what was through his brother's mind. Then, the younger Strife turned his own gaze to the dark ceiling, and placed his arms under his head for further support. After a little while, a thought occurred to Roxas, he remembered how Cloud would always comfort him when he was a child. Sure, it made him feel childish, perhaps a little embarrassed and sappy even, but he thought Cloud could use it right now and it was worth a shoot.
"Hey bro?" Roxas turned to look at Cloud once again.
"Hm?" Cloud replied, turning towards him with a blank expression. The look instilled unsureness within Roxas almost making him regret the offer he was about to make
"Do…you need a…hug?"
"I…."
Cloud felt a chill run down his spine as his eyes met with that of Roxas' in which he saw his own reflection. Once upon a time, he would have accepted the humble offer…but as of late, the older Strife only felt empty on the inside. He felt incapable to reciprocate such an affectionate action in return…no matter how a part of him yearned for it. He could not understand why he was holding back…why he felt so afraid.
"I…I'm sorry Rox…not now…"
"…it's ok bro…I understand"
Roxas tried his best to hide his disappointment, but the shadow of a sad tone was a clear giveaway to Cloud whom turned on his other side unable to face his younger brother. He could not stand looking at the hurt behind his little brother's eyes at the same time feeling like he could do nothing about it…
"Roxas" he called with his back to the teen.
"Hm? yes?" Roxas turned to look at Cloud, unable to stop the small leap of hope his heart gave.
Cloud seemed to give his words some thought only to settle for an entire different response than the one he had intended
"….Good night, Rox."
"Oh….'night…bro…" of course, what else did he expect…that still didn't prevent the heartache he felt.
Fenrir yawned as if in response to their 'good nights'. After some time, Roxas heard the faint soft breathing beside him indicating that Cloud had managed to fall asleep again. He sighed with his eyes still fixed on the ceiling above him .
'Will it ever end?' Roxas thought '…I can't help him like I promised….What I'm gonna do Zack?….I feel so lost….'
Roxas frowned softly at the thought and then shifted to lay on his side with his back to Cloud while tucking his hands under his cheek, curling his body just a little bit. The young teen's thoughts rambled for another while until his eyes, slowly but surely, closed shut and he drifted off into an undisturbed sleep.
A Heart's Passage:
I never wanted to leave you…but sadly, we don't always get what we wish for.
I am causing this terrible pain upon you…
It's been far too long…I feel lost…like I shouldn't be here…but you keep calling my name and you keep shackling me down…
You're shackling yourself down….
I don't want to leave…It pains me to see you suffer every day…all because of me, because I wasn't as strong as I thought I was.
Each time you call my name with such despair, it creates a new chain that weighs me down.
But I guess…I'm also to blame.
I made you promise something that's hard to keep….
How am I supposed to move on? I can't leave you like this…
I won't leave until I make sure you are all right…
However, how can I, when you no longer hear me…see me…or even feel me?
There has to be something I can do for you…one last thing…to mend my mistake…
A/n: Hello everyone! I hope you all enjoy this fic is to experiment with some ideas and I will point out this is an alternate universe, though I will use aspects and some ideas from KH along with some ideas of my own. I'm also using this to practice my writing and because of course I wanted my own shot at a Cleon FanFic.
I will also point out that I've seen some people using the Al Bhed language as a sort of Nibelheim dialect and they have dubbed it 'Nibel'. I found the idea interesting and I decided to hop on the idea as well. So you can imagine Cloud and Roxas having a sort of accent in this fic, though I imagine Roxas' being more pronounced than Cloud's. Anyways, I appreciate your time and if you are reading this, please feel free to share thoughts, comments, opinions, suggestions...yea.