The air enclosed around us; draped in our black robes, traditionally we only wore these when we came to kill. The snow lay thick on the ground and this is when Aro said we'd greet the Cullen's, like old friends, no one could feel the intensity of the blood thirst and lust he had towards Bella, wanting to make Edward made to join us and Alice, for they possessed qualities he could only dream of. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath, even though it wasn't needed.
Despite the raging storm and the cry of the wolves, I couldn't feel the cold against my cheek. As a human, coming inside after the snow and feeling the dampness against your cloak, there was nothing nicer than feeling your cheeks almost defrost as you sat near the fireside, a large mug of something warm in your hand. Once I had been introduced to the luxury of being rich in the Italian coven, there was no joy anymore, what was the point in drinking something to humanise myself when it all tasted bland?
Being immortal and in the most protected coven in the entire existence could have some privileges well that's what was explained to me anyway, Aro knew I had felt differently. They said as we didn't need to sleep, we could learn by night, teach ourselves of the wider world, and better ourselves. We could run extremely fast, climb high, breathe underwater; the world was literally our oyster. As a human I always said 'I wonder what it'd be like to live forever?' My father used to remind me 'Move on with the living, or be stuck in an unfamiliar world all alone.'
As a young boy, dreams were all I had for my mother had died young; during labour with me. I looked after my father and he looked after me. We were each other's companions. I was a human dreaming of life as I have it now; all I really wish for now is to go back, or to turn back time. For being a vampire brought me my dearest love; Didyme but it also tore me apart with the worst consequences. I close my eyes carefully, imagining of the times when I could feel the gentle breeze against my cheek, the time when I got changed and the time when I loved and lost the love of my life. It all happened when I was a mere 19 years of age.
An explosion of agony, an excruciating pain beyond what I thought any normal person had the potential to feel. Writhing on the barn floor, I could feel it burning deep down and it was the rush of lava from the pits of hell in my veins. I repented for my soul; why was God punishing me for what had I done? I lurched over in pain, doubling over in the middle, my arms waving all over the straw. I felt like I was burning alive, I needed to scream to let them know I was here. A cold pair of hands lifted me from the floor, bringing me up to the surface. I hadn't quite realised the loud volume of my screams filling the hall until they reached the vast space of the night sky; a clear midnight shade of blue. I felt like we were running, running fast through the trees as I was gently placed in a darkened room. The pain was taking over everything and I felt terrified; where was Papa? What was I to do? Was I dying? Was this what death felt like? It seemingly hurt more than the books said, I remember Grandfather hadn't screamed out, it looked quicker than falling asleep.
It was sizzling and burning against my delicate, young skin. I gasped, letting the last rush of air enter my lungs for they wouldn't move of their own accord anymore. I remember seeing black, a rush of black looked like robes; black perhaps foreshadowing my fate.
I could hear the pain in her voice and the promise sounded like empty words; she couldn't prove that I was going to be ok. She must have phoned an ambulance because sirens were screeching around but not as loud as me. It was tiring, my eyes couldn't seem to manage with the intensity of the light, they burned like everything else and I couldn't make sense of what was happening around me. It was intense, throughout my entire existence, body, and mind. I couldn't do it anymore, control myself or any part of my body, so I slumped down on the floor lifelessly, like I was blindfolded, unknowing of my fate and let the darkness take me.
I sat outside; near the bush of purple Hibiscus's. There was a fountain behind me, gently pouring water down a small stream that surrounded the rich enclosed marbled pathways. The ripples sounded softly in the back ground, the birds tweeted and hummed, my hearing was insanely better. My sight could pick every colour out of the spectrum so when my lover Didyme approached, my soul mate, I could see every flush of fuchsia in her cheek bones.
'Didyme, what brings you outside at this time?' I briefly questioned my love as she sat beside me, encasing her hand in mine, the locket that I had brought her when she had transformed sitting comfortably on her neck. She was Aro's sister and to some extent looked like him. Long glossy black hair cascaded down her neck, around her shoulders. 'I came to inform you Marcus, you know who escaped they have left the coven, you know this is what we wanted, a chance to run, to be free, my love think of the opportunities, it's a wider world than Volterra!' She held her arm out pointing to the sun caressing the horizon; about two thousand colours flooding my iris. 'But what would Aro say?' I furrowed my eye brows slightly in fear. 'Marcus. My brother gave us his blessing; he sees how happy we are together.' Our eyes met briefly. I inhaled her scent without my chest cavity having to expand, my arms folded comfortably around her waist drawing her close. She moved a lock of hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear, feeling my sigh. 'Oh my love you worry too much, he can run this place without us, we can leave, experience this new life for ourselves, I've heard of another coven down in America, they're experimenting with other kinds of life. Their leader Carlisle….' 'He was a former member of the Volturi.'She smiled and her pearl white teeth glistened against the sun. 'There we go, he doesn't hold that forever, they're still friends.' She didn't seem to understand the extent of her brother's power, the way he had us all on a string. There was friendship and the idea that if a foot was placed wrongly; he'd squish him like a ton of bricks. Not that it was that easy to kill a vampire, something I learnt years later.
I kissed her lips delicately, for once outside I forgot the issues with leaving, the burning of my throat that I had ignored for I was in deep thought. I remembered when I was introduced to her; the most beautiful woman in Volterra, she was gorgeous. We had danced at one of the balls, all night, twirling around in the crowd; she had sat beside me several a banquet or watching the coven feast. My red eyes looked softer than usual as they reflected on the water below. My hand in the small of her back, we wandered, still contemplating our options and our means of escape.
She had left to inform Aro of our departure and that night I sat alone, looking at our few belongings packed together. I think first we could go and get married, make our bond official, maybe see where Carlisle had gotten too after all these years, and try his way of living, and see if we could maybe start a family of our own. Not that I needed all that as long as I had Didyme. Approaching the grand hall, I assumed it'd be empty for the day but there was one further decapitated victim. The dress looked familiar and so did the glossy black hair streaming down what would be the back. I leaned over, scooping the head within my palms, turning over to see the light that had left the eyes, the tortured expression imprinted on the face, this one face and one face that I had known all too well…..Didyme. I picked the body holding it close to mine making awkward strangled sobs without any tears, more like screams for vampires couldn't cry. For something so soulless all I wanted to do was to tear out my broken heart. It wasn't beating anyway so nothing would happen but I knew in that instant , something I promised myself, I'd never smile again.
Aro approached me carefully, his expensive shoes tapping the tiles impatiently yet carefully. 'Marcus my brother, I wouldn't have told you, it's a terrible loss.' His emotionless face and monotone voice; I couldn't tell whether he was shutting off some inner emotion or maybe he knew more about what had happened than he'd let on. Maybe he…no I shouldn't let the grief do the talking or hold myself against my brother. He briefly held my shoulder. 'Brother you can talk.' Caius responded. Aro hissed. 'What is it they say; the humans I've heard them say better to love and to lose than to lose and to never have loved at all. Didyme loved you but you'll get through this.' Aro pointed out to me as if it was something so pointedly obvious I should have seen it myself, his hand ran over mine and I opened my palm to find her locket with the words PLUS QUE MA PROPRE VIE engraved, she was more than my own life for I couldn't live. 'But brother, forgive me, god forgive me, I'd rather die than be without her…' My strangled empty words echoed in the room; moaning and groaning in pain. Aro didn't have to speak in the silence, for once his eyes did all the talking, and he was guilty.
When men say 'It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves.' This couldn't be truer. As Alice showed the vision of what the battle could have been like, I found myself wishing it to play out.
I could greet death like an old friend and go to where I believe Didyme was waiting for me; an eternal sleep instead of an eternal immortal life as a blood lust vampire, a soulless creature. A soulless creature who was heartbroken, loving with such an intensity that when I looked into the eyes of Edward, all I could feel is the love I had when I was with her. His golden eyes boring a hole in my head, the way he held Bella close, safe, it's meant to be. They said I was blessed to be reborn, have my life recreated like arising from the dead, to have a gift, to feel other's emotional connections. All I did was hurt me more; especially the emotional anguish as Irina was killed in front of her sisters. I stood there with a blank face, trying to stop myself from leaving or being sick although it was physically impossible for both; vampires couldn't be sick without some strange phenomena that I was yet to encounter and also Chelsea had me there under power against my will.
I opened my eyes to look into the eyes of the small girl; Renesmee. What struck me about her, other than the half hybrid self they were on about is the small locket around her neck. 'Plus que ma proper vie' I whispered so quiet, I was afraid the others would pick up on it. Why I would vote against killing this precious little life; it was clear Aro just wanted his own back. She wasn't any harm, bit like me and Didyme leaving. They weren't to understand why but they would never in this eternity feel what I do. If I was a mortal I'd die knowing I could see her again, in this life I can't leave. This pain is so deep; an ache that cannot be simply mended, no amount of stitching or the look of any other woman could change it. I almost wish they could slice my head off right now; only that could mend me as this broken what was once a man.
My battered, bruised heart and mind will never fix, I'm empty inside and soulless. I've seen hundreds die under the hands of the Volturi; maybe this is what ages me so? If I could break out and join their side I would in a heartbeat, which can explain how I am strapped to this destiny. I'll walk alone a thousand paths before I reach the end. I still remember the night when I tried to kill myself. I jumped off the cliff, trying to let my body hit the slate below like a rock. That's when I consider briefly the possibility of whether I should start up this fight and greet my ending that I so desperately desire. Instead I stand there, watching the scene unfold before my eyes; for I am alive but will never live again.