[AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, I was reading a fanfic the other day, for the anime FullMetal Alchemist, which was based on Skippy's List and was inspired to write one for the Plumverse. So, with the help of my very best friend Svendances, here it is!].
A couple of months after Stephanie Plum began working at the Rangeman building a handwritten notice appeared on the Break Room's bulletin board. Over time the handwritten notice grew longer and included several different sets of handwriting.
NOTICE
Below is an Amended List of Rules and Regulations to forthwith be abided by,
by all Rangeman personnel and visitors/ invited spectators to Rangeman / or any subsequent official activities
provided/ participated in by Rangeman Co. personnel.
1) Bombshell and Boss Man are not to be referred to as Mom and Dad.
a. Failure to adhere results in an electrical shock (via stun gun) to the testicles.
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2) Replacing Boss Man's black hair ties with "My Little Pony", "Dora the Explorer" or any other variation of children's hair ties is not funny.
a. Ever.
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3) The words "Steph", "Bombshell", "Cupcake" or "Babe" are NEVER to be uttered in the same sentence as the words "PMS" or "that time of month".
a. Don't even think of using any other variations of above mentioned words.
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4) Storage rooms are not to be used for quickies during the lunch break.
a. Or at any other time.
b. Tank.
c. You too, Lula.
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5) Company Internet quota is not to be used for uploading videos of homemade Drag Queen Fashion Shows/ strip teases to public or private forums.
a. Oh gods WHY?
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6) Stop laughing Lester. It's not that funny.
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7) If you're going to sneak sweets onto the comm. floor, don't leave a trail of wrappers leading to your cubicle. It's a little conspicuous.
a. *cough* Bombshell *cough*
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8) Declaring a Practical Joke Duel is not a productive way to settle petty arguments.
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9) Nor is it a productive way to settle any other sort of argument.
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10) The Boss Man's Porsche is not to be referred to as the Batmobile.
a. Nor is the seventh floor the Bat Cave.
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11) Boy Wonder comments will result in a smack down.
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12) Tank has never, and never will say "Holy underpants, Batman!"
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13) We do not require all visitors to wear tracking bracelets whilst on the premises.
a. So only the suspicious looking ones?
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14) Company policy trumps bro code.
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15) Mrs Plum is not the Devil Incarnate, you with stop referring to her a thus.
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16) Morelli is not the enemy.
a. Yeah, cause Boss Man has so totally already got Bombshell bagged as a sure thing.
b. I'll drink to that!
c. Hear, hear!
d. I am NOT a "sure thing", and will you stop talking about my love life.
e. What's the difference between a "love life" and a "sex life"?
f. Candles?
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17) The list of Amended Rules and Regulations is NOT to be used as a personal discussion forum.
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18) The phrase "in accordance with the prophecy" is henceforth banned in the office
a. In accordance with the prophecy
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19) Talent shows are hereby banned until further notice.
a. You mean I've been practicing my flaming juggling for nothing?
b. You prove my point.
c. What was that discussion forum rule again?
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20) To every rule there is an exception.
a. Except this one.
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21) While the nickname "Merry Men" is cute, we do not "roam around the forest looking for fights" and as such, should not be expected to wear "TIGHT tights".
a. You get on the bad side of Bombshell and you will be.
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22) Duct taping Cal off the floor and to the wall is not an appropriate usage of work materials.
a. No matter how epic it was.
/