Without You

AN: I always feel like my songfics are incredibly cliché and have probably been thought of before now but are too cliché to actually be posted. I'm carpe dieming again and posting this though.

The whole 'tears don't freeze' comes from me because I was outside with my dog and I thought we were going to put him down that night and I was crying really hard and a) I didn't feel the cold, though the ground was frozen solid and b) my tears didn't freeze (obviously). Turns out we did have to put him down, which made me cry again…I'll shut up now.

Lemme just put this in here, the EPIC AN is that the end of the last chappy. I wasn't originally going to split this up but now I am so have fun.

Disclaimer: I don't know why anyone would think I own RENT/Dead Poets, or anything else in here, but just for copyright happiness and future reference… I DON'T. poo and double merde! (for Pittsie/EE23)

Tears

Todd Anderson did not know how long he stood on the end of the dock. And when he was tired of standing, how long had he sat, snow soaking through his thick jacket? He knew he was freezing, shivering and probably had chapped and blue lips, but somehow he could not feel it. Tears don't freeze he thought, wiping his hand across his face. He thought the sky was dark. He thought he was sitting on the wood of the dock, the snow having melted beneath him, he thought he had sat in the same place for days. He thought Charlie had come into his room early that morning, tears streaming down his face…he thought…and then he didn't want to think anymore, he tried not to.

What he did not have to think about though, was the warm hand he felt on his shoulder, "Todd?" he looked up into his father's face. He tried to think back to the last time he had heard his father say his name…and couldn't remember. He remembered the cold nickname, 598. He wished he would stop thinking. Everything brought him back to the memories he didn't want to have anymore, not if they were going to keep him like this. "Come on son, you can't sit out here. You'll freeze." Todd sniffed and with the aid of his father, stood up. "You're soaked. How long have you been out here?" He sounded caring, interested, finally! It just figured that it had to take this to make him so. Todd shook his head. His father made a quiet "Oh," of understanding that his son did not want to speak, put his arm around him and walked him back to the school building.

"Go change into something dry, okay?" said his dad when they entered Todd's dormitory hallway. He didn't want to enter the old room, least of all alone, with nothing but his cursed thoughts, but he did.

Without you, the ground thaws,

The rain falls, the grass grows.
Without you, the seeds root,

The flowers bloom, the children play.

It seemed only minutes had passed, but the passing of minutes in the middle of a cold Vermont winter, would not yield sunshine, green trees, soft grass, and people outside. What had been happening? That was something Todd couldn't remember now either. He had no idea that nearly six months and ten thousand tears had passed between the time on a frozen dock and the time inside on a beautiful summer's day.