The anger within him started to boil every minute, but he couldn't let it out. The person he wanted to punch was gone, left him alone with his bottled up anger within him. He had to gulp it back every time inside him, or else he would kill someone. It's almost one year since the youngest of them had assigned to the hospital. He thanked God for not taking him away from them or else they would go mad badly. So many things happened through the hard times they faced since his suicidal night. But there's no significant progression on the laying helplessly body on the bed connected to the tubes to make him stayed alive. So many times he spent his times alone in the room, just staring at the youngest, hoped that he found any single sign that he would wake up. Any single move. He needed to assure himself that he was still had the hope.
But nothing happened so far. He just felt a very little move on his fingers. At first, his hope rose even to the level of optimistic, but then it went down again when the doctor said it's nothing. It's just the reaction of his muscles, indicated that he was still alive, that his vital signs were still working.
"There will always be a hope as long as we don't stop hoping."
Their grandmother always said that to him every time they stayed in the hospital for the night. The word was nothing for him. He smiled at her and nodded but inside his heart he had already prepared himself for the worst. No. He didn't prepare yet. He just forced himself to be prepared. But every time he heard his grandmother told him about the hope, he felt his heart warmed somehow. He didn't believe it at all at first, even until now. He had waited for almost one year to see him opened his eyes but nothing happened until the day. There's no progression at all. Yamato was still sleeping, and looked didn't want to wake up.
"Keep talking to him so he won't lose in the darkness. He knows we love him. He knows that we're waiting for him to wake up, so keep talking to him."
Ryu could only nod at the old man when he told him. He tried hard to tell him every single thing he found on his way to the hospital. Every single accident, every single change of the wind, the weather, the sky, the sun, everything. He had even told him everything about his university, which he never intended to. He just needed to talk until sometimes he confused himself about the topic.
He wanted to act like Shin who just gripped Yamato's hand, talked to him in silence, no words came out of his mouth but he knew that the older was talking so many things to the youngest through his grip, but failed. He just kept talking and talking until he felt that he had turned into a noisy person like Yuichi.
He hoped. They hoped, but nothing changed. The steady beeps from the vital sign monitors told him the same every day. There's nothing different day by day. His eyelids didn't even move a bit. He looked out of the window bitterly, watching the dark sky of the Summer night, lost his words. He didn't know what to say more, he had said all the things he met today, all the things he did today, all the things he thought today. He turned to the fingers in his grip. He caressed it gently, afraid of breaking them if he gripped them tightly like Shin always did.
Silence. He didn't say anything anymore. He was just caressing his fingers for a few time when he felt they moved. He stunned. He waited, but nothing more. He sighed heavily and brought the fingers to his forehead, touched them on it, silently wished that they would move again.
His wish granted. He straightened his body when he felt them moved once again. This time stronger then before. He stared at him intently, tried hard not to blink, hoped that he would tell him that he would awake, afraid that if he blinked his eyes even just once he would miss something, he would miss the sign.
No more move.
His shoulder slumped once again but he kept his eyes on him. He wished continuously that he hadn't received a blank hope. He wished continuously that he had receive the real sign that he would wake up.
Please. Open your eyes. You've been sleeping too long. Don't you miss us? Your friends? Don't you miss everything you have?
He felt the move once again. This time even stronger than before. He was stunned. His eyes widened while looking at his face.
The fingers moved again and he gripped it right away.
"Yamato ... " He whispered in his ears softly, tried hard to suppress his urge to shout his name.
The fingers moved again like he was trying to tell him that he knew.
"Open your eyes, please. Please wake up. It's okay. We're here."
It stopped moving again. The fingers didn't move again. It stayed still in his grip without moving again. His tears rolled down his cheeks. "Please, don't stop trying. Don't give up. Come on. It's okay. It's really okay. I'm here for you. It's okay. Come on. You can't give up now. Please, keep trying."
There's no response.
He gripped the fingers and pulled it to his forehead.
Please. Don't stop trying. Don't give up now, please.
One move.
He snapped and looked at him again with a high hope that he wouldn't stop moving this time. He even saw the move of his closed eyes. His breath hitched as he stood up and bent down to his ears again.
"Yes. Keep trying and don't give up. We're here. It's okay. Come on ... "
"Ryu, why don't you grab some coffee in the ... " The older young man stopped his words when he saw his cousins. He almost stunned by the door before realization struck him back. He turned over and ran away to find the doctor.
It was a hectic midnight when Kawashima Jun ran away along the corridor to get to Yamato's room, followed by Shin and a nurse behind them. Jun almost shoved Ryu to the side and took over Yamato, ordering the nurse to check on his vital signs which obediently she did it.
"Try to open it slowly. Don't push yourself. If you feel tired, stop. Then try again, okay. Take it slowly. Don't be rushed."
As understood of what he said, Yamato did everything been told to him. His closed eyes were moving, like he was trying hard to open it, but Jun knew. He knew that it was very hard to him to open it after gotten sleep for almost a year. He knew that Yamato must feel it's too heavy for him to open his eyes. He must feel that his eyes were glued and he had to try hard to open it.
He suddenly stopped.
"It's okay. Take a rest as long as you need but you can't give up. Try to open it again when you're ready, okay. Don't sleep again. Open your eyes first then I will let you sleep as long as you want."
No more move. Ryu started to panick, Shin was no helping at all when he just stood in his place, still couldn't believe of what he saw.
"Yamato, do you hear me?"
There's no response and Ryu almost ran over and grabbed him to no avail when Shin gripped him tightly, tried hard to make him stayed in his place.
"Yamato, do you hear me?"
There's still no response and Ryu slumped to the floor. He closed his eyes and gritted his jaws hard while gripping his own fingers tightly.