Disclaimer: Okay, seriously, I'm about to just put a huge CAPSLOCK disclaimer on my profile page to make it blatantly obvious to the world that I don't own Disney, Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix, or Final Fantasy. Because I don't. And I hate writing this all the time.

Warnings: Illogicalness. Spock would be horrified. Potential craziness, possible cursing and generally, characters putting each other down. You know how Hayner and Seifer are.

Author's Note: I KNOW, I OWE YOU ALL THE NEXT PART OF MERITS. I'M SORRY. IT'S ON ITS WAY, I SWEAR. But I've wanted to write a Seiner for forever. So here it is. The main pairing here was originally going to be AkuRoku, but somehow Seifer manhandled his way in here, and, well…sorry, Axel. It just wasn't meant to be. I'm not saying there won't be AkuRoku (It's still my OTP), it just won't be the focused-on pairing here.

And credit where credit is due: This fic is inspired by a combination of Axie L. Kiryu's (formerly ChronosKingdom) fic Of Baddies and Beasties and Squigglidoos and my sociology and ethics classes. I know, it makes you wonder what the hell I'm learning in college, doesn't it? Hopefully Axie L. Kiryu loves me muchly and doesn't mind…*shifty eyes* Thank you to those of you who listened to me rant about this idea, and then put up with me changing EVERYTHING at the last minute. Like, last night. Not wait, that was actually this morning, wasn't it…?

READ. NAO. XD

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Chapter One: Of Libraries and Bookstores

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It was just one of those days, really.

Just one of your typical Saturdays: being woken up at nine in the morning by your very irritated mother, stumbling downstairs to see your equally sleepy and bewildered older sister sitting at the kitchen table looking like she got dressed in a sealed room with no windows, mirrors, or lights, and realizing (simultaneously, if the look of dawning horror on Rikku's face was anything to go by) that your mother had obviously gotten your report card the day before but because she hadn't gotten home until late, it hadn't been opened until this morning. So it was no surprise to either of them when she spent the next hour chewing them out, alternating between horrific threats and teary 'I don't understand's (making them both feel like they'd been intentionally starving underprivileged children in far-off countries), and then shipped them off to the public library for some 'intense, good old-fashioned studying'.

Yes, typical indeed.

Which, of course, was why Hayner (a junior) was happily napping on his physics textbook in a secluded corner of the library, unabashedly drooling on a series of diagrams depicting several Kinematic equations. Or he was, at least, until he was startled out of this glorious state at the feel of a hard knock against his skull that was unceremonious at best and just plain painful at present.

Jerking his head up from the table, he gifted his sister with a scowl as one hand automatically rose to gingerly assess the damage to the back of his head. "What the hell, Rikku?"

His older sister (a senior) gave him a disparaging glare, standing up from their study table and slamming her book closed with a dramatic flourish that made her beaded braids clink against each other. "You're supposed to be studying, Hay-hay," she told him, putting her hands on her hips and tutting in mock disappointment. "Drooling on your books just isn't the same thing."

Hayner's scowl deepened as he dragged his wrist over his lips to wipe away excess spit and rubbed the sleeve of his jacket over the now-damp pages of his textbook half-heartedly. It wasn't his fault the book was so damn boring. Glaring at her, he reached across the table and smeared his hand on her shirtsleeve. "Don't call me Hay-hay, Ri-ri," he retorted irritably, delighting in her disgusted squeals about how gross and immature he was, and how she now probably had some nasty, incurable younger-brother cootie disease.

"Hay-hay!"

"I'll spit on you," he threatened, leaning forward and making swishing noises with his mouth.

She huffed at him, still rubbing at the damp spot on her shirt. "Anyway, I'm going to be leaving. Yuna and Paine called, and they wanna go see a movie."

"You're supposed to be studying, Ri-ri," Hayner told her in a high-pitched imitation of her own voice. "Isn't that what you said to me ten seconds ago?"

"I have been studying, brother dearest," she said, looking pleased and decidedly superior. "So I get to take a study break."

"Don't even lie," Hayner said flatly, watching her gather up her books. "Once you leave you're not coming back."

Rikku ignored him, giving him the evil eye as she tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Whatever. The point is, I'm leaving. I'll see you when you get home."

"Did you ask Mom if you could go?" Hayner asked suspiciously, his eyes narrowing at her as he played with the pages of his physics book. "After this morning, I don't think she'd let you go anywhere that didn't involve books or worksheets—"

"Yes, well," his sister told him in a voice that completely failed to be menacing or coercive in any way, despite her best intentions. "Mom's not going to know, because you're not going to tell her. Because we're both happily studying at the library like good children."

Hayner rubbed at his eyes and yawned. "Yeah, see, this is the part where I get confused. Why do you seem to think I owe you anything, again?"

She gave him a sweet smile as she picked up her backpack and patted him on the head, which only made him hiss angrily and re-fluff his hair. "Because one of these days, you're gonna need a favor from your favorite sister. And you have to pay in advance."

He rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat, one arm dangling over the backrest. "Fine, go away. But I'm going to remind you of this when I need that favor."

Rikku beamed at him, hugging her books to her chest as the bangles on her arms tinkled in gleeful harmony. "Thank you, Hay! Be good and don't make the librarian kick you out like last time!"

Hayner didn't even have time to protest as she flounced away in a whirl of blond hair and colorful clothing under the watchful eyes of several curious library patrons. He threw his arms up and behind him, stretching out his back and shoulder blades as his sister vanished through the door and down the street. Grumbling about older siblings in general, he turned his attention back to his abused textbook and turned the page, grimacing at how the soft papers stuck together.

The sharp thud of books beside him made his head snap to the side to see who it was, his mouth already open to make some sort of comment when the other person beat him to it.

"I thought that was your sister leaving," his best friend said dryly, pulling out the chair next to Hayner and sitting down. "Is she off to do some 'studying' elsewhere?"

"Yeah, the movie theater this time," Hayner said, pushing his book away and glancing at this friend. "What're you doing here, Roxas?"

The blond shrugged, his eyes briefly darting up as another boy joined them. "Report cards are coming out. Sora and I always head Mom off by spending the weekend at the library. The idea that we're 'making an effort to raise our grades' appeases her, I guess."

Roxas's twin nodded, hovering by the end of the table. "It usually works. But that means we don't get to do anything else this weekend…" his voice was sad, obviously thinking of everything else he could be doing instead of potentially thwarting any academically based punishment.

Hayner looked at them both thoughtfully, rubbing the side of his face that he'd been sleeping on. It felt a bit stiff. "That's a good idea. Maybe I should try that…"

Roxas snorted. "Your mom would get suspicious. Maybe you should try it when report cards aren't coming out."

"Are we ready to leave?" Sora asked hopefully, bouncing on the balls of his feet and staring imploringly at his twin and his brother's best friend. "We're done, right? Because there's this new store off of—"

"Sora," Roxas interrupted, sounding as though they'd had this conversation before. "I already told you. It's not a candy store."

"It is," Sora insisted, his face adopting a stubborn expression that informed everyone within viewing range that it just wasn't worth it to argue with him. "How could a place called Kingdom Oblivion not sell candy?"

"How does that make any sense at all?" Roxas said with an incredulous stare at his brother. "Kingdom Oblivion could be anything. Oblivion could refer to, I don't know, drugs or something. It could be a hookah bar, Sora!"

Hayner nodded in solemn agreement. "It could be a sex shop."

Roxas socked him in the shoulder. "It is not."

"How do you know?" Sora challenged, lifting his chin and daring Roxas to contradict him. "Have you been in there?"

"No," Roxas said in annoyance, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. "But use your head, Sora. They wouldn't put a sex shop on Main Street. Do you want it to be a sex shop?"

"No. Because it's a candy store."

"Sora…"

"Hey, why don't we just go check it out then?" Hayner suggested, hurriedly shoving his physics book back in his bag and clearing all the papers he'd set out but had no intention of actually looking at off the rest of the table. "Then we'll know for sure, right?"

Roxas eyed Hayner's movements with a dubious air. "Aren't you supposed to be studying, or something?"

"I'm done," Hayner said firmly, zipping the bag closed and getting up. "I'll just ask Olette or Pence for tutoring or something. Let's go. Come on, Roxas, it'll be fun."

"Define 'fun'," Roxas sighed, but stood up and followed his friend towards the door. "This isn't going to cause me mental scarring later, will it?"

"It shouldn't!" Sora said brightly, jogging past him to open the doors. "It's just a little exercise and candy. Did you bring money, Rox?"

"It's not candy, Sora," Roxas growled as he stepped out into fresh air and sunshine.

"You don't know that!"

"If it was candy, we'd all know about it, because Mom would have forbidden you to go there!"

Sora made a pouty face and stuck his tongue out at his twin. "She would not, Rox."

"Main Street's not far from here, right?" Hayner asked indifferently, used to Roxas and Sora squabbling over inane things. "Just down there?"

His best friend's brother nodded enthusiastically, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Yup! I can see the sign from here!"

Hayner rattled the small change in his pockets, squinting down the street at the dark blue and silver sign that marked their destination. From what he could see, it was a pretty small place, aged in years with an almost antique feel to it that piqued his curiosity. "You're sure this place is new? It looks like it's been here for a while. And it sure doesn't look like a candy store. Sorry, Sora."

Roxas frowned as he eyed the approaching building, their steps simultaneously slowing until they came to a stop and stared up at it. "Well, maybe…the building's just old. But I'm pretty sure this place is new."

Sora gnawed uncertainly on his lower lip while his eyes darted over the front windows, taking in the heavy maroon curtains and the small steps leading up to the door. "Well, let's go in and see, then. We might as well go in…"

The tallest of the boys shrugged and climbed the stairs, opening the door and turning to look back at Sora and Roxas with an expectant expression. "Come on, guys. It's not going to eat you, you know."

The blond scowled as he pushed by him, followed by a wary but interested spiky-haired brunet. Hayner let the door fall closed, ignoring the ringing of the bell attached to the frame and took a good look around. "No way," he said, furrowing his eyebrows in disbelief. "It's a—"

"Bookstore…?" Sora finished quietly, his voice more awed than disappointed.

Surrounding them were shelves upon shelves of books, most of them looking as though they'd been published several decades ago, nearly all of them with hardcover bindings in solid colors. Each bookcase had at least seven shelves to it, but Hayner didn't recognize any of the titles, although that didn't surprise him. He wasn't exactly a strong reader. But what caught his attention the most was the atmosphere in the store—it was quiet, slightly dusty, with an expectant air of patient waiting that seemed so different from being outside on the street. Here was a small place that escaped the regular push and pull of the rest of the world, where time decided to take a rest and put its feet up for a minute. It was…odd.

There was the quick scuffle of footsteps from farther in the store that announced the presence of an employee, and Hayner felt more than saw both Roxas and Sora move closer towards him. Seconds later, a silver-haired man appeared behind the front counter to their left, watching them with intent amber eyes.

Wasn't silver hair reserved for old people? Hayner wondered, not at all bothered with how staring was considered rude by most people. But this guy only looked like he was in his thirties or so.

"Hello…" the man said calmly, his voice carrying easily through the small shop. "Can I help you?"

Roxas and Sora glanced at each other and then at him, so Hayner looked back at the employee. "Uhh, no, um. I think we're just here to look around."

The man nodded, a smile pulling at his eyes that wasn't on his face as he looked them over. "Very well. I'm the owner of this store, Xemnas. Let me know if you need anything."

"Uh, yeah. Thanks," Hayner said uneasily, glancing around at the towering shelves and colorful books. "Where—"

"Fiction," Xemnas said, interrupting him in a way that didn't feel like an interruption, "is back that way." He nodded towards the back corner of the store, his brightly colored eyes not leaving them for a second.

Roxas immediately headed off in the indicated direction without looking to see if either of the other two was following. Deciding he didn't want to be left out front with the weird bookkeeper, Hayner headed after his friend, watching the blond and his brother whisper to each other.

"That was weird," Sora muttered, gazing at the surrounding books with uneasiness. "I don't like this place, you guys. It doesn't feel right."

Hayner brushed a hand along some of the books as he trailed along behind them, watching the back of Sora's head. "Whaddaya mean, Sora?"

"I like this place," Roxas said decidedly, pausing in front of a bookshelf he deemed far enough from the front counter for his safety. "I like old stores like this. What don't you like about it, Sora?"

The brunet shifted uneasily, tugging at a spike of his hair and watching Roxas examine the books. "I dunno…that guy…"

"You can't let one weirdo throw you off, Sora," Roxas informed him curtly, standing on his tiptoes to look at some of the higher books. "And there's no harm in being weird when you own a small bookstore. It's kind of expected."

"No, but…did you see his eyes?" the brunet continued doggedly, turning to include Hayner in the conversation. "I mean really look at them? I think he was laughing at us."

"Of course he was laughing at us," the blond countered with a shrug, moving along the bookcase. "We're a bunch of kids that don't know our way around a bookstore. I'd laugh at us too."

Sora sighed and looked at Hayner, his eyes pleading. "Do you understand what I'm saying, Hayner? It wasn't just…I dunno. But it wasn't normal. I don't like it."

Hayner frowned at the books as he read over the titles, sparing a glance at Sora. "Well, he was laughing at us. But…I don't think he was trying to be mean or anything. But it sort of did feel like he was…sizing us up, or something."

"Yes!" Sora said delightedly, spinning around to gesture at Roxas. "Yes! See! That's what I meant!"

Roxas crossed his arms, turning to glare at his brother. "Sora, he's probably worried we're going to try and sneak a five-fingered discount, or something. Now stop being paranoid. He's just a guy selling books. You don't have to make it a big deal."

The brunet puffed out his cheeks in a pout, crossing his arms too and staring resentfully at the blond. "Roxas, I'm not being paranoid…"

"Seriously, Sora. Just look at the books."

Hayner scanned the books in front of him, something niggling at the back of his mind as he looked over the covers. He didn't know any of these titles. Lumaria and Even? The Legend of Griever? And what exactly was Disintegration of a SOLDIER supposed to be about?

"Hey, Roxas," Hayner said slowly, reading cover after unknown cover. "Is it weird that I don't know any of these books?"

He looked over at Roxas to see the blond staring at the books in way that said he was thinking, not reading.

"You know, normally I'd say no…" Roxas said with equal slowness, taking a step back to look all the way up the bookshelf. "But I'm not recognizing any of these books either. Maybe these are all out of print?"

"Wouldn't that make these really expensive?" Sora asked, looking at a book with a red binding and wrinkling his nose.

"Depends on the book," Roxas muttered, his eyes roving over the adjourning bookcases.

He was just going to suggest that they should leave and do something a little less unnerving when Hayner's eyes settled on a book on the fifth shelf. It was thick like an old tome and looked pretty heavy, with a white fabric cover that was surprisingly clean. The title was printed in faded black letters he couldn't properly make out from his current angle, but the book looked like it had been hastily re-shelved. Furtively looking around for the store owner, Hayner braced a foot on the lowest bookshelf and hauled himself up to the book's level so he could easily slide his target out of its place. Grasping the book, he dropped back down to the floor and flipped the book over in his hands, feeling the durable softness of the cover and the weight of the pages it contained.

"What's that?"

Hayner nearly jumped back onto the bookcase when he heard the voice right next to him, and took a moment to remind himself that beating Roxas with his book would not lead to good things. Instead, he just ran a hand through his hair and glowered at his best friend. "You scared the hell out of me, Roxas. Jeeze."

"Sorry," Roxas said unapologetically, focused on the object in his friend's hands. "What book is that?" he repeated.

"I don't know, I just wanted to look at it," Hayner said with no small measure of irritation, lifting the book so he could decipher the title. "It's…A Paradoxical Wonderland? Have you guys ever heard of that?"

Roxas shook his head, a bemused expression on his face.

"Is it like Alice in Wonderland?" Sora suggested, running a finger under the title. "That would make sense, right?"

"But Wonderland was already a paradox, wasn't it?" Roxas asked, glancing up at Hayner and Sora. "Nothing made sense there. How do you get more messed up then that?"

Hayner shrugged out of his backpack and dropped it to the floor, carefully rotating his shoulder to get the blood flowing again where it had started to go numb. "I dunno. Maybe it has pictures?"

"Let's see, open it," Sora encouraged him, peering over his arm so he could see the pages.

He was lifting the front cover with the expectation of reading the title page, listening to something Roxas was saying, when there was a blinding flash of white light Hayner would later swear came from the book itself, completely wiping out his vision in a way that burned his retinas and made him wish he'd never had eyesight to begin with. He felt the book fall from his fingers as he reared back, his hands immediately flying up to belatedly protect his unseeing eyes, hearing cries of surprise and pain not unlike his own.

And to be perfectly honest, he didn't remember anything after that.

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Author's Note: So, the beginning's a bit slow, but it picks right up in the next chapter. Whaddaya think? Feedback on this would be lovely! I prefer reviews to story alerts, in case you're wondering…XD