"Would you look at Maude Bones over there. That bird sure does clean up nicely", Sirius declared as he ogled the curvaceous girl from across the Great Hall.
"Mmmm", James acknowledged absentmindedly, barely processing what his friend was saying. Sirius turned to peer at him concernedly.
"What's wrong with you, mate? It's our last day of school - ever, for the rest of our bloody lives! You should be leaping for joy, not moping about as you're apparently doing. What's wrong?"
"Nothing", James blurted instinctively, though he knew he wasn't fooling either Sirius or himself.
"Nothing, my arse", Sirius scoffed. "Really, mate, tell me what's wrong.
Marauders don't let each other sulk for long. How 'bout you go chat up that Sarah girl over there, while I go after Maude?"
James offered a perfunctory glance at the tall, elegant Sarah, then scowled in disinterest. "She's not Lily", he muttered Sirius paused in his perusal of the snack table.
"Are you serious, mate?"
"No, you are", James shot back, not because he was in a humorous mood but because the joke was almost second nature by now. Sirius rolled his eyes.
"James! You said you were over her! I distinctly remember you saying that last month. You said you realized it was a lost cause."
"I lied", James declared morosely. "I mean, I do realize it's a lost cause, but that doesn't mean I can wave my wand and Vanish my feelings for her." He paused, tilting his head in consideration. "Somebody should invent a spell like that. Prevent a whole lot of broken hearts."
Sirius shook his head in exasperation. "I pity you, mate. Seven years you've been chasing the girl, and you still refuse to take a hint!"
"Six and a half", James corrected.
Sirius threw up his hands. "Oh, I beg your pardon. That makes so much difference."
James glared moodily at his best friend. "I thought you had a certain Miss Bones to go chat up?"
"I do", Sirius grinned. "You, my poor, sad mate, can stay here and moon over Evans all night while I go have some fun with some ladies who might actually be interested in me. Cheers!"
James rolled his eyes at his friend's receding back. Sirius meant well, but he just didn't understand how it was, to feel as deeply for somebody as James did for Lily. You couldn't snap yourself out of it by chatting up some other girl. Hell, the more Lily rejected his advances, the more he wanted her.
"You always want what you can't have", James reflected miserably as he sipped a glass of punch. He scanned the packed, noisy Great Hall for a telltale flash of red hair, and found her standing some yards away, deep in conversation with Frank Longbottom. James felt the jealousy bubbling up hot and bitter in his throat. He should be standing there talking to Lily. More than talking. He should be dancing with her, holding her, kissing her...
That was when James decided. He had to have one last try. After all, who knew when he'd see her again? Who knew if he'd see her again...ever?
James froze as this possibility sank into his mind. The current seventh-years of Hogwarts were graduating tomorrow, and scattering to the four corners of the world, each to make their own lives. It would be really and truly over, his life for the past seven years. Why had he thought he'd be here forever, pulling pranks with the other Marauders, falling asleep in History of Magic, getting an owl from his mother every month┘and yearning for Lily. Most of all, yearning for Lily. Every day, practically every minute, no matter what else he was doing, he was being tormented by his longing for the girl with the fiery hair and spirit to match. He knew she couldn't stand him - she'd certainly rejected his advances enough times - but she was always there, to scowl and turn away when he tried to strike up conversation with her, to be the first with her hand up in class, to watch secretly whenever he got the chance. It was best when she didn't know he was there, for then there was no scowl marring her lovely face, just an exquisite smile as she read in the library, or chatted with her friends, or whatever. He never got tired of observing her, aching for that smile to be directed at him. Of course it never was, but as long as they were here, at Hogwarts together, no matter how much she spurned him, James always harbored a vague, absurd hope. But now...there would be no more chances, no more "maybe this time"s. This was the end, of something that had never really begun.
James was appalled to feel a sudden, sharp stinging in his eyes. Tears?! How could he be crying? Men didn' cry. He hadn't cried in years. But he was now, the moisture brimming in his eyes as he pictured a future without Lily, without ever hearing her mellifluous voice again, ever spending another moment lost in the shimmering depths of her eyes. James scowled and tried to subtly wipe the tears away. There was no use standing here bloody bawling. He had to do something, had to make one last effort to soften her towards him. Maybe she'd at least be more civil than usual, because this was so close to goodbye. And even if she wasn't, what was one more rejection?
No more of his usual cocky, flirtatious manner, James decided as he searched for the beauty again. He needed to show her he was sincere, show her how much she meant to him, how desperate he was for just a chance.
James made his way unsteadily over to the emerald-clad girl, heart pounding wildly with apprehension. He momentarily lost his capability for speech as he beheld how the smooth silk dress hugged her subtle curves, how its color matched the brilliant shade of her eyes. Then he choked out, "I - I don't suppose you'd like to dance with me?", knowing the answer even as he asked. Or thinking he knew, anyhow.
To James' immense surprise, however, Lily didn't respond with an immediate "No". She didn't respond with an immediate anything. She stood there, perfectly still, for many moments, contemplating him with something new and mysterious lurking in her eyes. Then she slowly nodded her head.
"All right", she whispered.
James gaped. "W-what?", he blurted stupidly. Lily rolled her eyes. "I said, all right", she repeated, her voice tinged with exasperation, but also with a gentleness she had never shown towards him before. James stared at her incredulously, doubting his own ears. Then slowly, on trembling legs, he led her onto the dance floor, his eyes still fixed on her warily, as though convinced she was not actually Lily Evans, but some sort of imposter.
They stood there for several moments, staring at each other, Lily's scarlet lips parted, her eyes wide with uncertainty and a tinge of shyness.
Then, slowly, he drew her to him, and she drifted into his careful, tender embrace. James cradled Lily's delicate body as they swayed to the soft melody being played by the band. He was so used to her rejections, and having to pretend they didn't hurt, that he was at a loss for what to do now that she wasn't rejecting him.
Marveling at the turn of events, James gazed tenderly down at the girl he was holding. Then, James found himself unable to breathe as Lily drew closer to him and lay her head on his shoulder. This couldn't be real. But then again, it had to be. This was even more extraordinary than anything his imagination could conjure up.
"Lily...", he whispered urgently. She remained silent, but lifted her head to gaze up at James, her metamorphosing emotions shining from her eyes. No more words were necessary at that moment, as James silently thanked Merlin, his lucky stars, and anybody else he could think of, and Lily's realization of how much could be lurking beneath the surface of her own soul was confirmed.