Title: He Doesn't Even Know

This is my first "Rookie Blue" fanfic. From my very first episode (I've caught up on every episode from the pilot on over the past few days), I have been a Dov fan ever since. I like his pairing with Sue, and I hope that they last.

Dov Epstein was a lot of things: handsome, brave, funny, eager, impulsive, cocky, and a rookie. He was also terribly insecure. He was tired of making mistakes. He was tired of being the rookie screw-up who was constantly putting his life in danger, having his squad car stolen, and jumping into dangerous situations with his guns blazing.

He knew that Officer Shaw and the others were only teasing when they pointed out his mistakes. He knew that they cared about him – this new family of his – but he couldn't help feeling like a clumsy screw-up. It seemed to him that if there was a call to be botched, he would be the one to do it. And he looked at his girlfriend, the beautiful Sue Tran, and constantly reminded himself that he didn't deserve her.

She may not have been Gail Peck, but she was perfect nonetheless: gorgeous, intelligent, athletic, courageous, caring, calm. Why, she was everything that he had ever wanted. She was a member of the bomb squad. She was an everyday hero – and she had saved his life. She was careful. And her job was honourable and important. It seemed like he was always waiting for the day that she would finally open her eyes and leave. Everyone in his life always seemed to be leaving.

Sue Tran affectionately watched as Dov slept, passed out after a rough day at work. Tenderly, her fingers ghosted over his forehead. Her small smile, illuminated by the first light of dawn shining through the window, was full of love.

She knew. She had seen the way he had looked at Peck. She wasn't stupid. She could get past that though, because – for now – he was hers and that was all she wanted. She had recognized the self-doubt in his eyes. She had seen the worry and insecurity that creased his smooth forehead, and she had heard the murmurs of nightmares in his sleep.

She knew, but she didn't understand.

Sue couldn't comprehend how he couldn't see himself as everyone else did.

"He doesn't even know," she thought, "that he's perfect."

So maybe Dov wasn't on the squad or rookie of the year. Maybe he wasn't the best cop around or climbing swiftly up the ranks. Maybe he made mistakes often. Sue didn't care. All of those things made him perfect, to her, made him human.

But Dov was a great man. He was a rarity. He had a big, good heart. There were times when he could be a little oblivious, but he was sensitive and understanding. He was brave and strong and sweet. He was smart and his job meant a lot to him. He was a real hero, through and through. He could make her smile on her worst days. He made her feel safe and protected. And he chased away all of her fears.

His spirit, the depths of his eyes, his gentle grin, the way he filled out a uniform: it drove her crazy. She had never felt the way about anyone the way she felt about Dov. He made her want to be a better person. He made her feel like she made a difference in the world, like she was someone special.

All the scars and pain the world had left her, the darkness and fear, melted away when he wrapped her in his arms. It was the way he served her breakfast in bed after particularly difficult nights, held her hand as she lounged in the tub and rubbed her back. It was the way he stumbled over his words when he was nervous and talked to the mirror in the morning. It was the way he put on a brave face and never burdened anyone with just how worn down and sad he was. It was the way he asked questions about her day, her work, and did everything he could to be closer to her and to learn. It was the way that he always forgot to replace the cap on the toothpaste and he left his towel on the floor. It was the way he said her name and looked at her.

All of these things made her love him.

Yes, she loved Dov Epstein.

And she hoped that maybe, someday, he could love her as much as she loved him.

As he began to rouse, Sue kissed his eyes, his cheek, his forehead. He looked at her, and smiled a sleepy, lopsided grin.

No, he didn't know. He didn't know that he made her head spin or her heart pound against her ribcage. He didn't know how much people cared about him.

He didn't even know that he was beautiful.

END