Teresa Lisbon was having a good day. The sun was shining, they had no case, Jane was being quiet and her paperwork was almost completed.
Wait a minute, stop, rewind. Jane was being quiet? Sheepdip. That usually meant some ridiculous thing was about happen, especially in the absence of some poor murdered soul to keep the hyperactive dope entertained.
Craning her neck Lisbon half stood from behind her desk, her usual view of Jane's couch obscured by the rather large chest of Wayne Rigsby who at that moment was frantically biting the air- he'd somehow roped the usually stoic Cho into tossing peanuts a few feet into the air, which was of course still within reach of a man of Rigsby's stature.
Sighing she pushed her chair out and stood fully, if the rest of her team were already behaving like teenagers (Van Pelt had apparently wandered off) then who knows what age the consultant had regressed to. It was best to find him now, Minelli always appreciated it when she at least pretended Jane was under her control.
Decisively she pulled open her office door, only for her plans to be foiled by the distinct lack of one Patrick Jane anywhere in sight. Turning to the remaining bozos she put a little of her well-earned authority into her voice, hoping to better draw their attention.
"Hey guys, since you're all so hard at work as usual, I don't suppose you've seen Jane anywhere?" Lisbon's mouth pulled slightly to one side in her usual close-lipped smile, conveying she meant business.
Three things happened at once then as Van Pelt, who at that moment had been scuttling back inside, tried to increase her speed and tripped, splashing coffee everywhere. Including Rigsby's crotch. As a result the man, rather understandably, startled and began to choke on the nut he'd just triumphantly caught.
Above all this mayhem however was the distinct sound of shouting and things breaking from their mini kitchen. Closing her eyes in sheer exasperation Lisbon wasn't sure which disaster to deal with first, that is until the thump of flesh hitting flesh could be heard throughout the bullpen. Well at least now she knew where Jane was.
Flashing a quick glance to Cho, who in his normal capable fashion had already begun to pat Rigsby's back, she raised her eyebrow at him, the quick bob of his head he gave in reply leaving her free to go to the aid of her wayward consultant.
Turning on her heel and waving aside her rookie's apologies Lisbon arrived at the kitchen in a few quick strides but stopped dead in the doorway, uncharacteristically frozen by the sight before her.
Normally Jane cowered (behind her back) at the first sign of violence. Even in his darker moments, those when she truly believed him capable of extracting the revenge he sought, his natural cowardice continued. Here and now though, he just seemed... wrong.
He wasn't hitting back, though she was pretty sure if he did it wouldn't do much anyway, but he stood there with his chin up, as it were, facing his attacker head on. The guy in return, who she vaguely recalled as a member of a first entry SWAT team, was definitely not pulling his punches.
"Hey, HEY" She shouted angrily, striding towards them. Here Jane would usually make some ridiculous comment about her looking like his avenging angel, that is if he weren't too busy getting his face pummelled in.
Stepping in front of him protectively she glared at the man (she now remembered as Mark), who was at least half a foot taller than her, until he dropped his arm shamefully. The anger on his face was receding now, overtaken by mild horror as he apparently realised he'd been wailing on someone who was essentially defenceless.
Raising an eyebrow at him she turned so she could berate them both at once "What the hell is going on he- and Jane had vanished. Of course he had, what was she expecting? Gratitude. Thinking back to the strange expression on his face she realised it was probably better that she catch him alone anyway.
Not that she'd forgotten about the other culprit. "So, Flint", she crossed her arms as her eyebrows knitted together, "Care to enlighten me on your reasons for attacking Jane now, instead of every other time he's annoyed you?"
The man's body language became even more defensive as he spread his arms helplessly "He just came up to me and started having a go at me, told me my wife was cheating on me and my kid doesn't love me." A slightly thoughtful look came over his face then and Lisbon could all of a sudden see where he was going with this "It's almost like he... er wanted me to hit him Agent."
Shaking her head slightly Lisbon frowned at him, carefully calculating the dates in her head, "I don't care if he walked up to you and actually told you to beat him up Flint, that's no excuse. You can be damn sure I'll report this to your supervisor but you can make it easier if you tell me which way he went."
His eyebrows raised but his shameful expression didn't let up as he gestured behind her, to her own office. What the hell was Jane up to?
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