-1Resident Evol 4 LOL Version
Why am I the one who always gets the short end of the stick?, the 2nd policia said to his mate, yo who are you really? Yeah come and tell us you're a long way away from home cowboy you have my sympathies, the 1st one said to Leon, guess that's the locals way of breaking the ice anyway you know what this is about… I'm here to look for the presidents missing daughter, Leon told them honestly, what all by yourself?, the 1st one said back, I'm sure you'se two didn't tag along just so we could sing cumbaya at some boy scout bonfire or maybe you did?, oh you crazy Canadian ah its no picnic… it's a direct order from the chief himself, the 1st one replied, I'm American you dunderhead, Leon told him angrily, ah being called a crazy Canadian is better than being called a crazy American anyhow, the 1st policia told him, we wouldn't have said crazy American we would've just said American… no need to state the obvious, the second added in.
Car pulls over…
Do you want a smoke?, the 2nd policia asks Leon, no… I don't smoke, Leon replies, how about a joint then?, ok… pass it back Leon says to the cop, no fucking way go grow your own green herbs bitch, the 2nd policia says to him. (meanwhile outside of the car-1st policia) ah its freezing so cold all of a sudden, he hears something in the brushes behind him, he looks around, ah must be my imagination, he says to himself as he hops back into the car, sorry it took so long he says to the other two as the car takes off,(they arrive at destination) just up ahead is the village, ok I'll go and check it out, Leon says to them, the 2nd policia says to Leon, we'll stay and watch the car… don't want to get any parking tickets, right… parking tickets, Leon says sarcastically, the 1st policia tells Leon, good luck and get out of our car fuckface, the 2nd policia yells at him, geez who are these guys? Leon says as he gets out of the car, did you say something? Oh its on bitch!
Leon calls Hunnigan…
Umm Hunnigan I don't know what to do I'm confused, Leon spoke into the phone, did you read the playing manual I sent you?, Hunnigan replied, no…, Leon answered, fucking idiot if you read the manual you would know what to do! Fucking tosspot I didn't write that thing for nothing' fuck…, umm bye leon replied quickly as he hang up the phone.
I guess I better read that thing…. Leon says to himself as he pulls out the playing manual, shit, leon says as he pulls out the phone again, umm Hunnigan?, Leon asks, what fuckstick? Read the manual yet?, hunnigan replied angrily, umm about that I see only weird symbols and I cant make out what they mean…., oh my fucking god Leon cant you read? , well no actually…, Leon replied sheepishly, ok then I'll go through it with you…
20 minutes later…
I guess I better check out that house…, Leon says to himself as he walks up to the wooden cottage, he steps inside walks around the corner and sees a man, uh excuse me sir! I was wondering if you recognize the girl in this photo?, Leon asks him, Qué carajo haces aquí? Lárgate, cabrón!, the Ganado replies, sorry I don't speak French, Leon tells him, aargh the Ganado says as he swings an axe at Leon's head, Leon dodges steps back and says, freeze I said freeze.
Leon fires, nothing happens, Leon looks at the gun and says oh shit!, the Ganado laughs maliciously, que son tan jodida ahora, the Ganado says to him, Leon pulls out his knife and throws it at the Ganado missing by a mile, the Ganado clutches his chest laughing madly out loud, que son tan desesperada, the Ganado says to Leon, aww man what do I do now? Leon says to himself.
Leon runs up to the Ganado and head butts him on the nose, ha caught ya off guard didn't I? the Ganado doesn't move, shit I think I killed him, Leon says to himself, Leon grabs his cell phone and rings Hunnigan, uh Hunnigan I just killed some villager umm what do I do?, Leon spoke into the phone, you're an absolute fuckstick! He was a bad guy fool, Hunnigan yelled back into the phone, ok then calm down Leon said as he hung up the phone.