Only You
I felt dirty, I knew I wasn't ready this. Even if he did love me I knew my heart was set on a certain man at McKindley High. I gasped as I felt his hard shaft against one of my butt cheeks, "Stop!" I gasped, "Please I'm not ready!" I sniffled as a tear ran down my face and I heard him chuckle, "Don't you love me Blaine?" He continued to laugh and I knew I was being used, he didn't really love me, he was being sarcastic. I gritted my teeth and let it happen, my wrists has been tied to the bed and he was a lot stronger than me anyway. I continued to cry and felt him tug at my hair, "you deserve this." I was breathing heavily from all the pain, I couldn't even think of a comeback to what he had just said to me. I looked back and I saw him grinning as he took my innocence away, what could I do? It felt like forever but eventually he had finished pleasuring himself and I knew he had planted his seed within me, he kissed my cheek and I looked down in shame as he got dressed. He left the room laughing and I was left tied to the frame of my bed.
It was Sebastian who found me, I was asleep when he did though because when I woke up I was laying on my back completly dressed and Sebastian was sat by my bedside looking at me. "Blaine? Are you okay?" I felt a lump in my throat and as I tried to speak I felt tears began to fall. I told him everything, about the abuse Duncan (my supposedly nice boyfriend) had put me through. He listened carefully and even though we had both had our differences he was still there when I needed a friend. "We need to tell someone." I shook my head, I didn't want anyone to know, I knew rape was a serious matter I knew it was my fault, if I had done what Duncan had asked he would have probably been a bit more gentle. "Blaine I know you've been through a lot but what he did to you..." Sebastian put his hand on mine, "it wasn't right!" He looked me in the eye and I began crying again. We ended up having to leave my dorm for class, I found myself limping through the hallways and fighting the urge to cry. Unfortunately Dalton was a pretty huge place and all the class's rooms were pretty spread out so that meant a lot of pain and late to a lot of classes. My first class was Mathematics, I couldn't really concentrate, "Anderson!" Mr Pickerterr called my name and I looked up at him, "Could you tell me how to work out the volume of a sphere?" I was lucky to get an easy question, "four over three multiplied by pie and the radius cubed." He nodded at me which was his praise and continued with the lesson while I sat drowning in my own thoughts. After Maths it was time for Warbular rehearsels, I was dreading having to come up with an excuse for me not to move much...maybe a slow song? I walked in and all eyes were on me, Sebastian smiled weakily and I knew he had told them all, my eyes filled with tears and I slowly turned around not wanting to be seen by anyone on campus. I needed to see him. I waited in McKindleys auditorium knowing Kurt always came here on a Monday break time with his friends to get in extra singing practice. I walked onto the stage and looked ahead at all the empty seats and was reminded of my empty heart. I opened my lips a little.."Can't you see what you've done to me? I'm broken so bad, someone set my heart free. I think I'm unfixable, belong in a bin because of what you've put me through...I'm stupid for loving you!" I started to cry, I couldn't even finish the first stanza and I felt stupid for it.
I sat at the front of the stage my legs dangling off the edge, the bell rang and I knew the school halls were now heaving. Eventually I heard the familiar laugh of the gorgeous Kurt Hummel. He and his friends Mercedes,Artie,Tina and Micheal entered the room and I immediately felt out of place. "Blaine?" Tina pulled me into a hug and I tried my best not to cry as I slid off the stage. After being greeted by his friends they went back stage saying, "hurry up love birds we've got to rehearse!" Me and Kurt chuckled taking a seat in the front row of the audience, I looked him in the eyes,those bright sky blue eyes and smiled softly. "What's wrong?" He said suddenly, how did he know? Was I that obvious? I heard him sigh and put a hand on mine, "you can tell me Blaine...we're best friends remember?" I smiled softly remembering the pact me and him had made. To be best friends and go to live in New York together and be on broadway together. I found myself crying and telling him everything, Kurt was the only person I trusted, I trusted him with everything and now I was telling him how I was used by Duncan. I was expecting to see flames fly our of his ears, I had never seen him so angry. "Blaine have you told an adult?" I shook my head and let myself be cradled by him, towards the end of our discussion we found ourselves walking to Mr Schuesters class room and I was going to have to tell him everything. But I could do it because I had him. I had Kurt.
Mr Schue sat looking at me and Kurt with a wide eyes expression, "Blaine are you-" he sighed probably knowing it was a stupid question, "you should have gone to your headmaster..." I nodded looking down biting hard on my lip, Kurt reached over to me putting a hand on mine smiling softly, "with all honesty Mr Schuester, Blaine isn't the kind of person could can comfortably tell someone something traumatising..." Mr Schuester nodded and I looked at both the men before me. I knew they just wanted to help me but I really didn't want it, because I didn't deserve it. I had it coming. I've had feelings for Kurt for a while now, I had told Duncan about a month ago. I started dating Duncan at the start of this school year, so roughly eight months ago. He got real mad when I became friends with Kurt and then started getting really abusive after he knew my feelings. He would call me horrible names but I stayed, because well... I really thought Duncan would be the only one to ever want me, Kurt was way out of my league, he wouldn't be interested in dating someone like me so I guess I stayed with Duncan.. So I wasn't lonely... Now me, Kurt, Mr Schue, were sat in the office of the headmaster at Dalton Academy. Mr Kirwinense. The police were on their way to pick up Duncan and I couldn't help but cry. I was in so much pain I just wanted the pain to go away. I never thought I would lose my virginity like this, I wanted it to be passionate and about love... I was never going to get that. The door opened and the police walked in, Duncan was handcuffed to one of the officers. "Is this the man that sexually abused you Mr Anderson?" I looked at Duncan and nodded, I knew I was close to tears but I couldn't show any sign of weakness, especially in front of Duncan. They walked away but I knew the investigation was far from over, I would have pictures taking of me and I knew they were going see if any traces of his DNA were inside of me. I looked over at Kurt who smiled softly at me, he looked hurt but I knew it was because I was his best friend. Nothing more.
-–-
Three months later and word was still spreading round school, I was asked about the Duncan situation every day, I just wanted it to go away but I felt like I was being haunted. "Why don't you transfer?" Kurt sat at the end of his bed smiling innocently, he continued to rub my feet trying to comfort me. "I mean, at McKindley no one knows..." I nodded looking up at him, he was so beautiful... "And you'll be with me!" He continued with his persuasions and that one worked. Being with Kurt in the same school would be a dream! "So what do you think Blaine?" He smiled and came forward cuddling up next to me, did he like me back? I nodded looking at him, "sounds like a good idea...but I'm a Warbular" he giggled looking at me climbing on top of me straddling my hips, whoa is it getting hot in here? "Come on Blaine, you can join the New Directions!" Kurt starting tickling me and to my surprise I started squealing like a little girl. "Okay! Okay!" I chuckled turning us over so I was on top, "I'll come to your school Kurt," I looked into his eyes, he looked so innocent."Would you like to get coffee Kurt?" He looked at me confused, "we get coffee every Friday Blaine..." I chuckled staring at his reaction, his expression was absolutely adorable! I swallowed the lump in my throat that I didn't know was there, "I mean as a date," I blushed looking down, why would a guy like him want to be with me? He was cute and I was.. well me... "I would love too!" He grinned happily, it was music to my ears, he really wanted to go on a date with me! This was now officially the best day of my life, he had helped me throughout everything and we had got closer but I never imagined him actually saying yes! "Th-that's great Kurt!" I stuttered a little, I was so nervous, the palms of my hands were really sweaty and I had a gorgeous boy beneath me! "But Blaine, not coffee, we're going to the fair right?"He smiled giggling and chuckled, "the fair? You think you deserve that?"
He nodded grabbing my collar kissing me hard, it took me a little while to realise what was happening but it was great. His lips against mine was just perfect! He pulled off my collar and I groaned loud when I felt his hand rub over my hardening shaft and that's when I realised I was suddenly naked. Wait what? "Blaine?" I rubbed my hand and looked down at him, "huh?" I stared down at him, was all that in my head? "I said I deserve to go to the fair..." Yeah of course, all in my head. "Are you sure you're ready to start dating again Blaine? You seem very distant?" Oh Kurt I'm only distant because if you knew what I was daydreaming of... Damn I was naked with Kurt. If only it was reality. What if we... No there's the pain again, everytime I think of being intimate.. The memory of Duncan just destroys it! "Blaine your staring..." I was now back in reality, "s-sorry, yeah I can't wait for our date, this Saturday?" Kurt nodded at me and I got off him, "I'll pick you up at eight!" I smiled weakily standing by his bedroom door and he nodded before I left walking down his stairs to his kitchen. I was starving. Kurt's house was pretty much a second home to me, I was aloud to eat whenever that's how much I was there.
I stood at his fridge looking at the Hudson-Hummel household stock, "Blaine how can you eat so much?" Caroline laughed sitting on one of the kitchen stools, "sorry Mrs Hummel I forgot to have breakfast this morning." She shook her head at me and sighed, "Blaine you should never skip breakfast and for the last time call me Caroline!" She chuckled lightly and so did I, she brought a stool out from under the table and tapped it, I took a fruit and nut bar out the fridge and undone the wrapper before sitting beside her, "so tell me," she smiled, "how's it going with Kurt?" Caroline knew I had a crush on Kurt, it was weird because she was Kurt's stepmother but also my counsellor, I had started counselling after being sexually abused by Duncan which to be honest I think helped a lot. "I erm actually have a date with him on Saturday," She hugged me tight, "oh how exciting!" She giggled, she had sort of become a mother for me, I didn't exactly have many memories of my parents as they were always on business trips and died when I was 7 and my brother was 19. We heard footsteps coming down the stairs and I smiled when I saw Kurt in his vogue 2013 edition leggings and a shirt for NYADA. I blushed looking at him and started to chew on my fruit bar. "Hey Caroline how was work?" Kurt asked sitting on a stool opposite us, "it was just like any other day Kurt!" She smiled, "I better start on dinner, Blaine your have dinner here!" She walked towards the cupboards and Kurt looked at me with a grin plastered on my face, he was thinking of something wasn't he? At dinner I,Kurt,Finn,Caroline and Burt sat round a rectanglur table, just like most days. "Could you pass the salt?" Finn looked at me and slid the salt holder across the table which was followed by a quick 'thanks.' Normally I would quickly eat dinner but my eyes kept meeting his, Kurt. How can one person get my attention like this? Maybe the fact he had actually accepted a date? Wow. I'm such a lucky guy, right? "So Blaine, Kurt says you're transferring to McKindley?" Burt glanced at me and then went back to eating his food, "yeah I was considering it." I looked over at Kurt who just smiled at me, Caroline patted my knee, "well I think that's a great idea! Your best friend is at McKindley anyway!" Kurt came round the table collecting the plates and put them in the dishwasher. "You'll be joining the New Directions right?" I nodded looking at Finn before taking a sip of my cola and standing up, "thanks for dinner guys" I smiled, "anytime kid!" Burt sipped his beer, "are you staying with us tonight or would you like a lift home?" Finn asked, "he's staying!" Kurt came beside me grabbing my arm and I felt my heart beat ten times faster and harder. "Well you know the rules, two inch gap in the doorway!" Burt gave us a soft smile before Kurt dragged me up stairs.
We walked into the bedroom and I left the door a little ajar before joining Kurt on the bed. "Lets sneak out!" Kurt giggled cuddling up to me, "Kurt what's got into you ?" I laughed looking at him, "Oh come on I want to remember my senior year! I'm going to New York soon!" I felt my heart drop, I had just got him and now I would have to learn how to love him without seeing him everyday. "Come on Blaine I'll make it worth your while!" I giggled as he got on top of me, "I'm tired!" I pushed him off but he pulled me by the collar kissing my lips softly, after a few moments I pulled away completely stunned, "too tired for me?" He giggled looking me in the eyes, "fine we'll sneak out!" I looked at him, "once I can kiss you again?" I grinned innocently, he laughed, "of course you can!" He leaned close kissing me again. It felt magical, his lips against mine just felt so perfect, he kissed down my bare chest towards my erection. Wait bare chest? I'm naked? Oh not again... "Hello? Blaine are you there?" Kurt was laying beside me, "I said if your tired you can rest a little while before we go..." I nodded at him smiling, why did my brain keep doing that to me? That kiss felt so real... An hour or so later I awoke to Kurt blowing in my ear, I groaned and turned over and heard him give a little giggle, "come on Blaine!" He whispered rubbing my back, "lets go!" He shook me gently and I sat up looking at him, "where exactly are we going?" I looked at him, he handed me a suit along with a bow tie and winked, "it's a surprise!" He got off the bed and I took into account how his dark skinny jeans hugged his ass perfectly, he had a nice white shirt along with a blazer that he must of personalised because it had vintage buttons and a sequinned patten on the back. "It's your size Blaine, the pants may feel a little tight but that's intentional!" He giggled kissing my cheek, "now get ready tonight is going to be so much fun!" He disappeared into his walk in wardrobe and I began to get changed.
I stood at the mirror pulling on my bow tie, it was a bit plain for me but it'll suit me fine. I saw Kurt watching me in the mirror, how long had he been there? "Kurt?" I span round on one foot and smiled, "I know you're there." I watched as Kurt came out from the door, he smiled and his cheeks were rosy red which looked so angelic on his beautifully pale face. I walked towards him and planted a kiss on his cheek, "you're a natural peeping tom!" I chuckled and so did he, "did you like what you saw?" I smirked looking into his eye and blushed looking down, "I'll take that as a yes." I chuckled and Kurt moved around me and walked towards the door, "just be quiet will you?" He smiled walking out and I followed him quietly. We walked into an alley and Kurt suddenly stopped at a door, "K-Kurt what is this place?" He smirked holding my hands, "it's my guilty pleasure." He winked at me and he opened the door and we walked inside.
It seemed to be a night club of some sort. We got butterfly stamps on our hands and Kurt handed over some cash, "come dance with me!" He giggled leading me onto the dance floor backing his ass into my crotch area, as I looked around I noticied the club was full of guys. Oh god. He had brought me to a gay club? As I danced I realised Kurt was getting a lot of attention, "guilty pleasure..you come here regularly?" He nodded dancing to the music. He looked so god damn sexy. How did he swing his hips like that? I glanced around the room, Kurt was getting a lot of attention and I didn't like it. "Kurt people are staring at you..." I heard Kurt giggle, "of course they are, we must be the hottest couple here!" I chuckled a little and continued to dance, I had never seen Kurt so confident before, what happened to that sweet shy boy I knew? He started grinding against me and I smirked grinding against his ass, this as a treat but also torture...I wasn't able to touch where I wanted too. After about an hour me and Kurt made our way over the the bar and like a gentlemen would I brought us both a beer, "Kurt I don't want to get too drunk okay?" He nodded, "of course not we've got school tomorrow! It's your last week at Dalton right?" I smiled, "yeah next week I'll be starting at McKindley!" I leaned close kissing his ear and I heard him moan loud.
Now all of a sudden I had some new found confidence and I was kissing Kurt Hummels ear lobe and he was liking it. "B-blaine!" He moaned holding his hands on my shoulders, "Kurt y-your so beautiful...did I ever tell you that?" I continued to kiss Kurt's ear and then moved towards his neck, "No you didn't, Blaine how about we..." I knew what he was suggesting. "K-Kurt!" I stuttered as he kissed me, we were laying on a king size bed in a hotel across the street from the night club. He moaned into my lips and his tongue entered my mouth. As much as I wanted this I wasn't ready and I knew. I pushed him away a little and he looked at me confused, "Blaine? What's wrong?" I felt my self start to tear up. "I- this reminds me of Duncan..." Kurt immediately held me tight, "Blaine I'm so sorry!" We stayed close, I knew he really cared about me. "Blaine please forgive me..." I kissed his lips gently and smiled, "I know you wouldn't hurt me deliberately Kurt, ju-just, the intimacy, it, it makes me think about Duncan a-and I don't want to feel that pain ever, and I mean ever again..." I looked into the ocean blue of Kurt's eyes saw love, he wasn't acting on lust he was acting on love. He may be ready but I'm definitely not. "Blaine, I'm never going to hurt you or force you into something you don't want, I just knew you was kissing me and-" I leaned forward kissing him agian but this time on the lips, "I understand Kurt I've been sending mixed signals." I kissed him more and his arms hung over my shoulders, "Kurt lets to back to yours, enjoy a movie and look forward to going to the fair on Saturday!" We both grinned standing up and I kissed his knuckles before putting my coat on. I hope Saturday gets here fast!