Hello! This is my first Gravitation FanFic! Yay! I know, I know! I should finish my other fics but…someone refuses to come over to my house to do that… so yah.. lets just get on with the story.
Disclaimer: I wish I owned it, I want it! But I don't…so it's not mine!
Title: Cherry Blossoms In Winter
Summery: Mika is dead and Seguchi Tohma is having a hard time trying to cope with the loss of his wife, what happens when he tries suicide? Who will save him? Rated for Cursing and attempted suicide, may go up, and your stupid if you don't think this is going to be yaoi! That's what Gravitation is!
Chapter rating: M (for coursing and attempted suicide)
Chapter One"It's not true that life is one damn thing after another. It's the same damn thing over and over."
Time changes people, right? Or is it just some stupid scheme a retard came up with because he was really board… I don't really know… I've tired to understand Yuki. I truly have but… he never changes.
Today were going to a funeral for Mika-san. She died in a car crash about a week ago. Seguchi-san has been really rattled by the whole thing. He'd locked himself up in his office for days and finally came out when Eiri went to go tell him that they were have a funeral for Mika-san.
Right now all four of us, Eiri, Seguchi-san, Sakuma-san and I, Shindou Shuichi, are ridding in Yuki's car to the cemetery. Seguchi-san is sitting upfront next to Yuki and I'm sitting in back with Ryuichi who has Kumagoro held tightly in his arms.
Sakuma-san is coming to pay respects with us for a reason I guess. He says because Mika-san was Seguchi-san's wife and Seguchi-san is a keyboardist in his band that he would go to support Seguchi-san. I thought it was really sweet of Sakuma-san to do that for Seguchi-san.
"We're almost there." Yuki said breaking the salience, it made me jump truthfully, I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't even realize that we started to pull into the cemetery. It had large bronze gates and a huge lake in the middle with ducks and geese.
"Shindou-san," Tohma said getting my attention with a "huh"," you've been unusually quiet are you feeling well?" he turned to face me.
"I'm fine," I said," It's just really sad that Mika-san had to die."
"Don't feel bad." Tohma said," If you dwell on the past and how you feel about the past you have no hopes of moving on whatsoever."
I stared at Seguchi-san in aw I couldn't believe this was coming from him. I do admit that at times I really hate him for trying to brake me and Yuki up but… I still conceder him a friend and my boss," I'll keep that in mind."
"Come on Shu-chan! You gotta be more happy, na no da!" Ryuichi said cutting into the conversation waving the pink stuffed bunny around.
"This may sound weird but Ryuichi's right Shuichi." Yuki said looking at me through the rear-view mirror," You don't have to act sad if you aren't and if you are… try to be a little more up beat. I know that the death of someone is a terrible thing but in the end you've got to think about the good times you had with that person and the good times you'll have in the time to came."
"Did that really come from you Yuki!" all three man screamed.
"What? Can't I be sympatric!" Yuki said as he pulled into the procession line of cars.
"No." all three men said with a straight face.
Yuki's eyes started to twitch as he opened the car door and stepped out to meet Tatsuha and his father. Seguchi-san, Sakuma-san and I quickly followed suite.
"Ahh," Yuki's father said," Tohma-kun, this is a great loss to us all."
"Yes." Tohma said his face showing no emotion at the least.
I shivered as his voice, to me, sounded distant and cold. Like Yuki's did a lot of the time. It was scary that Seguchi-san would sound like that. His voice and the way he acted were completely opposite of the Seguchi Tohma I was used to. It didn't seem right that he should act like that.
"Excuse me." a small man said, his face was grizzled and he had oily black hair that was slicked back," We're ready to begin the procession, when you are."
"Yes." Tohma said," Yuki…"
"Right," Yuki said as he walked back over to his car," Come on you damn brat." He called to me as I was entranced on how ugly the little man was.
"Oh," I said realizing I was being called to," Sakuma-san we're going now." I called for Ryuichi who was playing with the ducks.
"Coming!" he called as he ran over to us Kumagoro clutched in his death grip.
A smile appeared on my lips at the thought as it being a death like grip, I thought it was mildly funny then Yuki put a hand on my shoulder," Come on."
I nodded my head and stepped in the car. Ryuichi was soon bouncing next to me Kumagoro's ears flopping around with him. His hyperactive behavior, I had to admit, surprised me. I guess at this moment hyper activeness was foreign to me.
"Oi! Shu-chan?" Ryuichi said I looked to him and he looked really serious all the sudden," Don't ever call me Sakuma-san again…call me," he then put on a childish smile," Ryu-chan, na no da!"
I laughed a bit then said," Alright…" I paused for a second," Ryu-chan."
"Yay!" he said starting to bounce again.
It seemed as if it took forever for everyone to pay respects and for the Priest to give his blessings on Mika-san cremation. I know thinking like that'll give me some sort of a curse but oh well, my butt was starting to hurt and Ryu-chan was sleeping on my shoulder. He, by the way, got many disapproving glances but when Seguchi-san walked over to us and saw that Ryu-chan was sleeping, he just laughed and asked if I would be so kind as to be Ryu-chan's pillow for a bit longer. I nodded my head, then Seguchi-san turned to leave before he walked away he glanced at me then walked away.
It struck me as a little odd that Seguchi-san would look back me like that, the look on his face, it was almost, happiness. It could have been just as easily a false smile as he always does but, it just sent some sort of a shiver down my spine.
"Are you cold, na no da?" Ryuichi asked me.
"I'm sorry, Sa—Ryu-chan did I wake you up?" I caught myself before I said Sakuma-san.
"Nope! Kumagoro woke Ryu-chan!" he said shoving the little bunny in my face. I kinda had my own version of Kumagoro, but he was a little plainer then Ryuichi's.
I smiled as I felt some of my usual hyper ness return. I was changing a lot. Now that I think about it I used to constantly cry over stupid little things and have about thirty mood swings in fifteen seconds flat.
My smile grew as I thought about doing that just to piss off Yuki. It had become a hobby now to see how long I could do something before he either did one of three things: one, kick me out, two: yell at me to knock it off, and three, kiss me, or take me to bed.
"Lets go you two." Yuki said as he walked over to me and Ryuichi-chan.
"Alright." He both said, I was a little happier now then I was on the way over.
It seemed as if time had slowed as we got in the car and drove back to the temple at Kyoto for the little party thing they have after, I forgot the name, does it even have a name? I dunno, but when we got there some people were automatically engaged in happy conversations and other were flat and stayed on the outer rims of the party.
"Shuichi." Yuki said getting my attention.
"Yes, Yuki?" I asked turning my head to face him.
"Be hyper." He said.
"What?" I asked my moth almost dropping.
"I said be hyper, jump around, give me a reason to leave dragging you Ryuichi and Tohma with me." he said, I looked around for Ryuichi and Seguchi-san. Ryu-chan was currently eating cake and Seguchi-san… I couldn't see Seguchi-san anywhere.
I stood up and said to Yuki before leaving to go look for Seguchi-san," I'll do my best!" I pretended to sound hyper and then bounced off to go find Seguchi-san.
I walked around the temple for a good long time, when I at long last came to the only room I hadn't looked in, when I opened the door I lost my ability to use my voice.
Seguchi-san was hanging from a rope tied around his neck that was tied to a high post. He looked as if he were still alive so I quickly run under him and lifted him so he could get breath.
I then tried to get the rope off from around his neck by lifting him higher. The whole time I was calling for Yuki or Ryuichi to help me. I eventually got the rope off and then we both fell to the floor gasping for air. Seguchi-san sat up on his knees and said to me," Why'd you stop me?"
"Because it's not right! Yuki said it! If you don't look forward then you'll just drowned in the past!" I was yelling. I didn't want to yell but… I was so mad that Seguchi-san would try and kill himself.
"Shu…ichi-kun…" he said slowly.
I didn't know what to do, I could see Seguchi-san eyes start to gloss over with tears so I did the only thing I knew and hugged him close to me. I pressed his head to my chest and I tried to comfort him, it was when I pulled him close that he broke down and started to bawl like a child how just scraped his knee.
Heavy foot steps and breathing met my ears when suddenly the door slid open and Yuki was standing there, hunched over breathing deeply, he'd been running, so I guess he did hear me. Ryuichi was right behind him with Kumagoro clutched in his arms as I currently held Seguchi-san.
Yuki looked from Seguchi-san and me to the rope and back. He then walked over to us and knelt down to try and persuade Seguchi-san to him. I let go but like a reflex clutched onto me.
After much trying, Yuki gave up on trying to pry Seguchi-san off me. After he stopped she asked me what happened, I told him that," When you asked me to be hyper back at the party I looked around for Seguchi-san but when I didn't see him around the people or near the walls I went looking for him. I checked all the rooms and then looked in this one I'm guessing right after he dropped himself. The first thing I could think of was lifting his body up so he could get air then I started to try to get the rope off while I was still lifting. I was calling for you and Ryu-chan the whole time untill I finally got him off then he asked me why I stopped him. I reminded him of what you said in the car before the procession and then he broke down."
I could quite place the look Eiri had on his face. It seemed to be a mix of surprise, confusion and then a bit of… pity? Was that pity in the eyes of Yuki Eiri? I would have slapped myself but I decided to hug Seguchi-san again he seemed to really need it.
"We'll be staying here tonight." Yuki said at long last after about five minute of utter salience," Shuichi… stay with Tohma tonight."
"Yuki?" I asked I wondered why he wanted me to stay with Seguchi-san.
"He needs someone by his side and he doesn't seem to want me." Yuki said lighting up a cigarette.
"If its ok with Seguchi-san." I said looking down, the only response I got from him was him burying his face even further into my chest. I, as well as Yuki and Ryuichi I was guessing, took that as an okay.
Sunset came really fast, I didn't expect it to come like it did. The sunset was really pretty, all the colors, red, yellow, orange, pink, blue and the slow coming violet. It was like a painting, I wanted to paint it, but I can't draw for a damn so I killed off that idea.
"Shuichi-san?" I heard Seguchi-san say, he was sitting right next to me, he's just spoken for the first time since he tired to kill himself.
"Yah Seguchi-san?" I asked. I wondered what he wanted to say.
"You can call me Tohma." He said.
"Alright then…how about Tohma-kun?" I asked kind nervous about it.
"That's fine," He said smiling," I wanted to thank you."
"Thank me?" I questioned.
He laughed a bit before saying," For saving me form myself. If didn't come look for me I'd be dead and you'd all be going to another funeral."
"Oh." I said I guess I sounded upset or something because he looked at me with concern," I mean… your welcome!"
Tohma just looked at me as if trying to read me. No one could read me… I was way to weird to read, I think if I were a book, I'd be in another language that no one uses.
"I used to hate you." He said.
"What?" I said surprised by the comment.
"I used to hate you, at first when you started your way up it was okay but then I hated the way you and Yuki had things going, but now…I guess… I'm jealous."
"Jealous?" I asked.
"Yah," he said," That Eiri has someone like you to care for him. Mika's gone now so I don't have anyone." He started to look off into the distance.
Lights started to flicker on as the last rays of sunlight left the canvas. It was a warm night and fireflies were out so we just kinda kept sitting on the patio. The sand garden was an eerie white glow as a half moon peeked out from behind a cloud.
"Looks like it might rain." Tohma said at long last.
"Yah," I didn't get it, I wanted to jump around and be as nuts as everyone was used to seeing out of me but I had on energy. I guess finding Tohma like I did took all the energy I had not to have a heart attack.
"Shuichi-kun." Tohma said.
"Yah?" I guess he just wanted to say my name because he didn't say anything after that, untill about five minutes after.
"I'm sorry for causing you the trouble of staying with me but…" he paused," I just feel like I need to be with you right now."
The way that sounded, it sounded like he wanted to be like Eiri is, but then again maybe I'm just missing Eiri, yah missing him. I looked over at Tohma and saw that he was staring at me. I started to blush, wait… Blush? Me? Now? Why?
"Shuichi-kun," he said my name again! What'll I tell Yuki if…? NO! It's not going to happen! Tohma-kun is my boss!
"Y…yah?" I said stuttering, great! Now I'm stuttering! How can this get any worse!
"Do you know what I mean?" Tohma asked still not moving his turquoise eyes not leaving mine.
"N…no…" I was getting freaked out now.
"I guess…" he leaned his head to rest on my shoulder," That it wouldn't happen and," he paused," it doesn't matter."
'Wouldn't happen? Doesn't matter! What the hell! I'm losing my mind! This is Seguchi Tohma we're talking about! He's…well he was married… to a woman! Right? Or maybe Mika was really a man! Whoa! That would be freaky! Wait… why am I…? Oh no!' I don't remember when it happened but it seemed like out of the blue Tohma was on top of me," To…Tohma-kun?"
"Shhh," he said," I just want to ask you one favor."
"Wha…What?" I keep stuttering! Stop it Shuichi!
"Can I… can…" he was trying to say something," can…" he looked at me with pleading eyes, 'What was he pleading for? I didn't know… I guess Yuki calls me an idiot for a reason. I have to try and understand…is…trying to ask me to… I know now.' I thought before sitting up, Tohma still on me," Tohma-kun, you know I'm am Yuki's and Yuki is mine now…"
"I…I know." Tohma said looking down, he looked so sad that I couldn't stand it.
"But…" I said,' Yuki's gonna kill me if he ever finds out what I'm about to do…' I sighed as I thought over what I was about to do then I took Tohma's chin and kissed him.
TBC
Hey everyone! How'd you like it? I think this is the first Fic that I wrote that I actually really like! Yay! I'm so into Gravitation right now so I just wrote this! Hehe how'd you like the little TohmaxShuichi thing? I know that I'll probably get flames saying that Tohma's straight and married and people asking why Mika had to die… well the answer to all those questions is because I wanted to! Lol well I'll go and try to type the next chapter now!
Ja Ne
Kaiyuku-San