A Violinist of Hameln fanfic
By Ashley Auld
Note This setting for this fic is in the TV style. During the year in which Hamel and Flute are searching around alone for Pandora's Box and the key, prior to the second attack on Sforzando. Super WAFF in here- I'm a Hamel and Flute sap… yes I know… one of those-- so just giving you advanced sugar shock warning.
*disclaimer* The Violinist of Hameln is owned by Michiaki Watanabe, Enix, and Pony Canyon. I take no credit for its creation or the creation of the characters, I'm just writing this fic for my own personal enjoyment. ^_^ Thanks.
I'd like to extend LOTS of thanks to Megs for being my editor on this. And mucho thanks to Jerrin also for making the VoH Music Video that inspired me. I wanted to explore in some depth Hamel's and Flute's relationship in the TV series continuity that was depicted in the Music Video. (if you haven't watched it yet, it can be found at The Hameln Archive. I suggest you see it cause it's very very very good!!)
Part 1
~FLUTE~
* pat pat pat pat*
Flute lay awake in bed listening to the rain
hitting the wooden roof. She curled up with her knees almost touching
her chest; the bed covers were loosely thrown to the side. It was
a warm night, so they weren't really necessary. Besides, she had other
things occupying her mind.
" I wonder what time it is?" She thought,
" Probably pretty late…" she rotated her head just enough to get a glimpse
of the door.
Still closed…
Then, further over her shoulder to see the
bed across the room.
Still empty…
Not a sound of footsteps, no creaks or the
faintest sound of human existence…not a sound in the whole place save her
own heartbeat. She would have even been thankful for the snoring
of a guest next door, but it was like a tomb. Everything drowned out by
the "pat pat pat" of the rain hitting the roof.
She turned over and curled up on her other
side, this time facing the empty bed. "Hamel…" He'd been gone since
they'd eaten dinner. He said he'd had things to do… that she couldn't
accompany him.
Flute could never sleep when he was not near
her. This had happened before, and every time all she did was just
lie awake and think about too many things. The adventure that she'd
embarked on when leaving Staccato… The death of her Grandfather, the first
meeting with Raiel-san, with Trom… and finally her mother… The fight against
the Mazoku in Sforzando…Hamel…
Hamel…
She never would have imagined it had come this far.
Now they searched town to town for Pandora's box, slowly working their
way further and further north. How much further would they have to
travel? How much more could she take of this? She was ok if she was with
Hamel though… she was ok…
But… was she really? Flute stared out
at the water-streaked windowpane, the faintest silhouette of trees branches
swayed in the wind outside casting eerie shadows on the walls of the room.
Clawed branches…
The image of Hamel's demon hand struck her, and she recalled the last
town they'd visited. It had happened again, as it usually did.
Hamel would loose control of his anger and the demon inside him would come
rushing to the surface. They'd gotten kicked out of so many towns as freaks,
outsiders, the Evil Ones… What did those people care if she and Hamel were
trying to save mankind from disaster? People only knew about what was right
in front of their eyes at the
time…
Flute closed her eyes. " Try to forget
about it and sleep… you'll need it for tomorrow…" it was her weak practicality
talking. Her emotions never wanted to listen to her practicality.
She couldn't get his picture out of her head; it only intensified when
her eyes were closed.
The dark red of his skin, those muscles that quivered
with long suppressed power and rage. Clawed hands, clawed feet, huge
black wings like a bats only ten times more freakish.
Ten times… more of everything… His eyes glowed silver
and his grin widened, a bloodlust appeared on his usually beautiful and
sad face. Flute grimaced outwardly, but her eyelids refused
to open. It was as if her subconscious was telling her to face the
reality.
"No!" She thought. " No! Hamel isn't a monster…
he's--"
She saw the horns… The fanged teeth and the look
in his eyes… The glint of something not human… something beyond that of
human comprehension… It wasn't Hamel! Not HER Hamel!
Flute sat straight up in bed, tears unconsciously
streamed down her face. She gasped out at the blackness around her.
She wanted it to go away! She wanted to be held… her mother… Hamel… Grandpa…
anyone!! She wanted the security. But there was no one there.
No one…
It took her a few moments to calm herself.
She remained sitting, clasping the cloth of her nightgown tightly and twisting
it back and forth between both hands. She couldn't sleep, not until
he was back…
" Hamel… come back!!" She wanted to scream,
but only whispered the words. They sounded no more audible than a
hoarse, choking cry, like that of someone being strangled.
What could she do? She'd loved Hamel since
she could remember. He'd always been with her; he'd always protected
her in his own way. But, what was Hamel? What was he?? She could
not relate to his pain, to his suffering… All the things he'd been through,
while she'd grown up safe in a town with people that loved her. Even
now she had a mother that she knew would hold her, and a place to call
home- no matter how morbid the memory… Hamel had nothing of that.
" I'm no good…" She thought, all the times she'd
just done nothing more than feel sorry for her own predicament,
Hamel's was 100 times worse… and what could she do? She could
only sit and watch while he persecuted himself in a sea of guilt and bad
memories. And now determined to prove his humanity, he was loosing
more and more of his human self every day. The side that she detested.
She couldn't help it, if she had one wish in this entire world, it would
be to make it disappear. To erase his past and his horrible memories,
and withdraw from him the blood of the Demon King so he'd never face another
stone throttled at his face, another mothers frantic screaming, another
loss of a once dear friend…
She looked up suddenly, jolted out of her
inner thoughts at the sound of a dull thumping coming up the stairs. Footsteps…
Hurriedly, Flute flung herself down on the bed and closed her eyes.
A few seconds later, the creak of the door opened and the familiar footfalls
that could only be Hamel's echoed on the floorboards, softly and silently
like a cats, like only he could do.
She was suddenly ashamed of herself, thinking
all these things about him… what right did she have to analyze him like
that? Especially when she didn't know… she didn't understand him.
She couldn't relate, and she could never bring herself to ask him what
he was thinking. Every time she'd tried she always choked up.
She was a coward, because she knew she couldn't handle the truth.
It was better not to know and be ignorant and happy, than to know and be
miserable… What were Hamel's true feelings?
The footsteps stopped, but the creak of his
weight hitting his bed did not come. She wanted to open her eyes
and peak out to see what he was doing. It was painfully quiet, not
a sound but the constant rain. Then the slight rustle of his cape
caught her ears; he was standing right next to her bed. She could
feel his presence as he leaned over her. And then the covers that
she'd kicked down to her ankles due to her tossing and turning were carefully
pulled up to her chin. She felt a few drops of water land on one arm.
He must have been caught in the rain.
She continued to wait for him to lie down
himself and go to bed. But he didn't move. She could feel his
presence strongly now, watching over her, almost waiting for something.
She wanted to just open her eyes so badly and look up at him, why didn't
she? She could ask him all the questions that had been piling up in her
mind from the very moment she'd first discovered the small white horn on
his head.
What came next was unexpected. The mattress
of her bed sunk on one side as he sat down on it. Flute's eyes opened
wide with surprise.
" Ha-" She opened her mouth but shut it quickly
as he began to talk. She didn't know if it was to her, to himself,
or maybe nobody in particular. He just sat there, facing the window
as the rain streaked endlessly down, hunched with one hand loosely covering
her own. His human hand…
" I'm sorry… I failed you again…" were his
words.
" H--Hamel?" Flute couldn't keep from speaking
his name this time. It was like a conditioned reflex. He didn't
look at her, but there was a long pause.
" You're awake?"
" Yes."
" I'm sorry…" He stood up and walked over
to his own bed. Flute sat up quickly.
" No! You didn't wake me, I've been waiting
for you to come back!"
Hamel stopped, then turned to face her.
His features were in silhouette but Flute was sure she could see the look
of pain on his face. It was all she saw whenever she closed her eyes.
And she wondered if that was really the reflection of his soul…
" I…" She began. " Umm-- did you find
what you needed too?"
" Yes." He sat on his bed facing her and folded
both hands between his knees.
" Why do you always insist on going alone?
Just what were you doing? What do you mean you failed? Failed who?" Flute
seldom shot questions like this to him. She braced herself for a
stiff reprimand or a simple feign of ignorance. It looked to be the
latter for a few moments until he spoke.
" … I failed you…" He said in that unwavering
tenor lilt that sent a shiver down her spine. " I… lost my
temper…"
Flute blinked a few times, thinking hard what
she could say to comfort him. But nothing came out except a simple.
" That's ok."
" … We continue to the next town tomorrow.
There's nothing here… get some sleep." He removed his hat and set it on
the bedside table. The small horn was now visible in the silhouette
of his profile
" Hamel…" Flute whispered. " To loose
your temper… that is not failing me."
He stopped his motion of getting into bed,
then sat up again and looked at her. " But… I feel you drifting further
from me… every day."
" I… I'm not!"
He sprung from his bed very quickly and leaned
over to her, his nose at most ten inches from her own with both hands set
down firmly on her bedside.
" Then why is it that you flinch to hold my
hand? You flinch at me like you're doing now? You are so quiet when you
used to be so cheerful?! Ever since I learned my true character it has
been like this!"
" That's… I… umm…" Her heartbeat increased
as he continued to inch his face closer to hers. She trembled, and
finally pulled away. "It's not because I dislike you!"
Hamel didn't move, he waited further for her
explanation in silence.
" I… I don't understand you…" she whispered.
" I can't because I can't relate to you. How can I possibly pretend
to know what kinds of things you're going through?" Tears started down
her cheeks again. She hugged her arms around herself tightly and
shook her head. " Your Mazoku… and you're suddenly not the Hamel
that I thought I knew and loved… and your human… You ARE human! But sometimes
I doubt it… I doubt you. I'm ashamed of myself!"
" Flute…" Hamel reached out and put a hand on her
shoulder, Her thin frame shook with sobs and she curled her knees up to
her chest, wrapping both arms around them.
" I feel alienated … I guess… I never know what
you want… how you feel… what you think. And whenever I want to ask
I turn into a coward! Because, what if you're thinking, or feeling, or
wanting something other than what I can give?
Why do I love you when I don't understand you? Maybe it's wrong
of me to love you? I don't know… I don't know!!"
She buried her face in her hands and cried,
wracked with sobs and whimpers. It was a long overdue vent that she'd kept
inside of her. For all the months that they'd been travelling this
had been weighing her down more and more each day. And finally once
let loose, she didn't even know what to feel.
-end part 1