Author's note: Serious spoiler ahead. This story is one big spoiler. Based on time after Spike's fight with Vicious. Two things you need to know (which I'm sure Cowboy Bebop fans know): 1) Faye and Spike got into a fight before he left to fight Vicious, 2) spike has a fake eye which he claims looks into the past and a real eye which he claims looks into the future. *Best read while listening to the song "Memory" from Cowboy Bebop*
I remember that day all too well. Jet and I had waited and waited for Spike to come back, decided if he was crazy enough to fight this fight, waiting was all we could do. So, hours passed us by. Occasionally, the wind would blow against the haul of the Bebop and mistaking it for the creak of the deck door, I would jump up. But it was never Spike coming home. He'd never touch that door again. Finally, after I had been begging continuously, Jet agreed to go search for Spike. And we eventually found him, lying face up in a puddle of water and blood, eyes fixed blankly upon the sky, one looking into the past, the other not having a future. I wish that we had never found him. At least that way, I could imagine him doing well on some other ship, planning for the day when I would be cooled off enough from our last fight so that he could come back. I cried myself to sleep that night in Jet's arms, the whole time wishing it was Spike there instead. Every once in a while I would actually imagine that it was indeed Spike, but a soft whimper from my comrade would pull me back into the horrible reality. I will never forgive myself for not telling Spike what I wanted to that day. I only made such a big deal out of his going off to fight Vicious because I didn't want him to get hurt because I… I still can't say it or write it now. I can only think those words in my mind. Maybe that makes me a coward. I don't really know. I can only hope that, as Spike watches over us all from Eternity, he realizes that all those times I teased him and all those times we fought, they were only because I… because I cared so much. And I still care. Three years later, and I still care as much as ever. But even that can't bring him back.