A/N: I've been waiting forever to post this oneshot. It was written months ago and now it's finally posted! This oneshot takes place after chapter 19 of The Early Stages of War and probably should have been part of the main story itself, but after I made my final plans for TESOW, I didn't want to add another chapter to it (I'm weird like that).
Note: For anyone here who hasn't read TESOW, just know that Starscream's old nickname when he first joined the Decepticons was Grunt.
Also a special thanks to Jesus Luvs Everyone for looking over this.
Disclaimer: No matter what I say, it will never be. Oh Transformers, why do you taunt me?
The Ultimate Resource
How dare that old fool Megatron compare him to Grunt!
Starscream was upset.
How can that slagger say that Grunt was superior to him? By the Pit, Starscream was Grunt!
Starscream cycled his vents. Only one thing could make him feel better.
XXX
Starscream smirked when he reached his destination. He entered the room and immediately headed towards to a mysterious container.
He picked it up, sat on the floor with his legs crossed, and tore it open. The Seeker then pulled out the tool he needed and began to scoop out the contents of the container. Starscream pulled tool close to his mouth and ate the contents.
Once he tasted it, Starscream began shoveling it down his throat, all the while making moans of contentment. He was so preoccupied that he didn't noticed the door open.
"Starscream, you miserable excuse of a Second-In-Command, what are you doing in the freezer?," bellowed Megatron.
Starscream froze, the spoon still in his mouth, at his commander's voice. He quickly pulled out the spoon and hissed, "Go away! I'm upset and I want to eat my Rocky Road ice cream in peace!"
In response, Megatron snatched the ice cream from Starscream's grasp.
"Hey!," shouted the Seeker.
"Starscream, you fool, this is the last of our supply of ice cream. Do you know what that means?," growled Megatron.
Starscream shook his helm.
"If we don't have ice cream, then the Decepticons don't have a way of letting out their emotions and if my army doesn't have an outlet, they will eventually become emo like Thundercracker, only useless."
"Can't we just let out our emotions like everyone else?," suggested Starscream.
That earned him a smack to the helm.
"Decepticons don't cry, except for Grunt, he was special, unlike you."
"Then what are we going to do?"
Megatron pondered for a moment before coming up with a plan. "We are going to visit the Neutrals that sell ice cream."
"Do we even have enough credits to buy that much ice cream?," wondered Starscream.
"Don't be stupid. We don't have the funding to buy ice cream; we're going to steal it," stated Megatron. "And you'll be the one sent ahead while the rest of us follow."
"Me, going in Neutral territory, by myself? Are you mad?," shrieked Starscream.
"Just think of this as an outlet for your frustrations; I am giving you permission to do what you want to the Neutrals," Megatron said smoothly.
"I can do anything?," asked Starscream hesitantly.
"Go crazy."
Starscream smirked. "As you command, Lord Megatron."
XXX
One Neutral massacre later…
As Megatron and the rest of the Decepticons approached the Neutral market, smoke was already visible in the sky. Once they entered the market square, all were shocked by the amount of death and destruction in the area. And all of it was caused by one Seeker.
"The Pit hath no fury like a Seeker without ice cream," muttered Skywarp.
Thundercracker just nodded in silent agreement.
Suddenly a door opened and all Decepticons aimed their weapons at the unknown figure stepping out.
All relaxed once they saw it was simply Starscream with a big container of Rocky Road.
"There's more inside," said the SIC, gesturing to the building he had just come out of.
Soundwave entered the building and began to investigate, just in case Starscream had laid some traps. Soon the telepath discovered some information that shook him to his very core. He commed. Megatron and told him what he had learned.
"STARSCREAM!"
XXX
At the Autobot Base…
Prowl was going over inventory when he realized that they were in short supply of a certain resource. His data pad didn't state what was the resource but it was labeled as essential to the Autobot cause.
Hmm. I must alert Optimus about this, he thought.
xxx
Optimus was in his office, doing paperwork, when Prowl entered.
"Sir," said Prowl.
Optimus looked up at his SIC and said, "Hello Prowl. What seems to be the problem this time?"
"Sir, while doing inventory, I discovered that we are low on the resource IC and apparently it is essential to our cause."
Optimus looked worried. "That resource is an important morale booster among the troops, without it…"
"Sir, what is this resource exactly?"
"Resource IC is ice cream."
Prowl almost fritz on the spot. "Are you joking?"
Optimus gave Prowl his most serious look.
"I suppose not. But Prime, where are we supposed to find more ice cream in the middle of war?"
"Simple Prowl. We visit the Neutral Market."
xxx
The Autobots were shocked by the devastation of the Neutral Market and had begun investigating the area.
"Who would kill all these Neutrals?," asked Prowl.
Optimus frowned. "Obviously someone ignorant."
The Autobot SIC looked confused.
"The Neutrals are all dead, the ice cream is gone, yet none of their valuables are missing. It is clear that the ones who have done this didn't knew that the Neutrals who sell the ice cream are the same as those who make it," explained Optimus. "But ignorant or not, this is very bad for us."
"Why Sir?," asked Prowl.
"These same Neutrals are the only Cybertronians on this planet who know how to make ice cream."
"Prime!," called out Ironhide. "We found a warehouse full of ice cream!"
xxx
Not much earlier…
Starscream groaned from the beating Megatron had given him before he and the other Decepticons returned to the base, leaving behind the tri-colored Seeker. He looked over his injuries. They weren't too serious; he could fly back to the base on his own.
"Primus, what happened here?," cried out a voice from just outside the warehouse Starscream had retreated to.
"Who would kill all these Neutrals?," asked another voice.
Starscream listened to the mechs talk and shuddered when he realized that they were Autobots.
The door began to open and the Seeker ran into a nearby closet.
"Looks like whoever did this forgot about this place," said the unmistakable voice of Optimus Prime.
Slag!, he thought. It won't be long before they find me here! What do I do? What do I do?
Then in the corner of his optic, he spotted some melted strawberry ice cream.
xxx
Ironhide and Ratchet entered the closet and both were shocked by what they saw.
Inside was a dead Seeker, who had been, apparently, beaten before deactivation and was covered in Energon.
Ratchet stepped toward the Decepticon corpse and took in the features. "It's a shame. Such a pretty thing."
"Yup," agreed Ironhide. "Looks like the Decepticons have one less femme around."
The two mechs lingered in the room for another moment before rejoining their comrades.
I am not a femme!, thought Starscream angrily.
He took in a few air intakes to calm himself down. He should be grateful that the Autobots didn't notice the smell of strawberries or the container of ice cream in the corner. Now was the time to leave.
But first, he thought mischievously, a little present for them to enjoy.
Starscream smirked as he un-subspaced a few cluster bombs.
xxx
BOOM!
All the Autobots present watched the explosion with their jaws hanging open.
"How-," started Optimus. He and the other Autobots turned to look at their resident engineer.
"I didn't do it!," cried out Wheeljack. "I didn't even go inside!"
"Ironhide," said a dazed Ratchet.
"Yeah?"
"That could have been us."
"Yeah."
"That Decepticon femme was probably faking it, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Or maybe she really was dead and just had a bomb planted inside of her?"
"Yeah."
"…"
"Yeah."
"Are you even listening to me?"
"Yeah."
Ratchet was getting annoyed and decided to test his luck. "I interfaced with Chromia."
"Yeah."
"I'm going to remove your cannons, weld your aft to the wall, and spray paint you pink when we get back."
"Yeah."
"Ironhide, snap out of it!"
"Yeah."
"Oh for Primus sake," muttered Ratchet. He pulled out his trusty wrench and smacked Ironhide's helm with it.
XXX
At the Decepticon Base…
As Starscream headed towards the throne room, everyone was giving him death glares.
Suddenly, Skywarp teleported in front of him.
"Why Starscream?," he wailed. "What did we ever do to you to deserve this? Now I'll never have bubblegum ice cream ever again!"
Thundercracker grabbed Skywarp's arm and pulled him out of Starscream's path, but not before saying, "This is all your fault."
Although, whether the blue Seeker was talking about Skywarp or the ice cream, Starscream wasn't sure. Probably both.
Starscream entered the throne room and was immediately being choked by Megatron.
"How dare you show your face here!," the former High Lord Protector bellowed.
"Please…My Lord…Allow…Me…To…Make …It up…To you," choked out the SIC.
"Oh, you'll be making up for your mistake Starscream," growled Megatron.
xxx
A few minutes later…
"Please Megatron, don't do this!," shrieked Starscream.
"You are out of luck Starscream," said Megatron. "Are you ready Soundwave?"
"Affirmative," said the TIC.
Both mechs aimed their blasters at Starscream, who was currently tied to a pole.
"Stop, I beg of you!," Starscream screamed hysterically.
"You brought this on yourself," stated Megatron.
The humming of the blasters powering up seemed so loud to Starscream.
"Starscream: You have been found guilty of treason against the Decepticon cause. Punishment: Execution by Lord Megatron and Soundwave," Soundwave said emotionlessly. "Three…"
"No!"
"Two…"
Starscream kept shaking his helm.
"One…"
Starscream was saying his prayers.
"Fire!"
For ten minutes, Megatron and Soundwave shot at Starscream and as the smoke cleared, they approached the pole to inspect their work.
"I-I'm still alive," said Starscream as he onlined his optics.
"Aw, slag it to the Pit," cursed Megatron. "Our aim was off."
"Suggestion: Try again with new blasters," said Soundwave.
"Excellent idea."
"Wait, Megatron, please spare my life!," begged Starscream.
"Why should I?," asked Megatron.
"Because I know how to make ice cream!"
"You lie!," shouted Megatron.
"I do not! I had a friend before the war whose maternal-creator made ice cream. He trusted me with the recipes before he died," explained Starscream.
Megatron pondered for a moment.
"Cut him down."
"As you command," said Soundwave.
Starscream almost fainted with relief.
XXX
With the Autobots on some random ice planet…
"Explain again why we are on some random ice planet?," asked Mirage.
"Because, Wheeljack is going to try to recreate ice cream and he's going to need a lot of ice," explained Prowl.
Mirage frowned. "I seriously doubt that there is real ice in ice cream."
"Hey, it's worth a shot," commented Jazz.
For the next few hours, the Autobots were digging up all the ice that they felt Wheeljack would need when Jazz made a discovery.
"Sweet merciful Primus, I found a servo!," he cried out.
"Let me see!," said Cliffjumper. He saw the servo sticking out of the ice and immediately began screaming like a little femme.
Everyone ignored the screaming 'bot and all gathered around the servo.
"So…What do we do now?," asked Mirage.
"I guess we dig it up," said Prowl.
xxx
Soon the Autobots discovered that the servo belonged to a large white mech who wore no faction insignias.
After the long and boring process of reactivating the mech's systems, he onlined.
"Uh, who are you?," he asked.
"I am Prowl, Second-In-Command of the Autobots."
"What are Autobots?"
Prowl looked uncomfortable. "What was the date you were last online?"
The mech answered and Prowl was shocked, but kept his face neutral. The mech had been frozen since not long before the war started.
"You…Uh…"
"Skyfire."
"Thank you. Skyfire, you have been frozen for a long time. Cybertron is in the middle of a civil war. On one side are the Autobots, the other Decepticons."
"Why are you fighting?"
"The Decepticons want to conquer the planet and we are trying to stop them."
Skyfire remained silent for several minutes before asking, "Where's my friend?"
"Unfortunately, you were the only one we found," said Prowl.
For the next hour, they talked and Skyfire was convinced to the join the Autobots, even though he had told Prowl that he was a pacifist.
"Don't worry," said Prowl. "You don't have to be a warrior to help out. What can you do?"
"Well before I was frozen, I was a scientist."
"That's excellent, you can help out Wheeljack with his current project."
"What is it?"
"Um…He's trying to make ice cream."
Skyfire rose an optic ridge. "Why?"
"The ice cream recipes were lost recently and without it, our troops have lost an important morale booster."
Skyfire found that a little hard to believe, but he replied, "I can help you make ice cream. My maternal-creator was an ice cream maker and she taught me all the recipes."
"That is good news," said Prowl. "Oh, you never told me about your friend."
"You're right. He was my research partner and a fellow scientist. He was a Seeker model and we had known each other for almost our whole lives."
"What was his name?"
"Starscream."
"Excuse me for a moment." Prowl got up and left the room.
Skyfire heard Prowl say something to another mech, but he couldn't hear them clearly.
Suddenly the door opened and mech wearing a visor stepped in.
The mech shook Skyfire's servo and said, "I'm Jazz, the Third-In-Command of the Autobots, and I have something to tell you."
"Yes?"
"Your friend Starscream is alive."
"That's great!," exclaimed Skyfire happily.
"And he's the Second-In-Command of the Decepticons."
"WHAT?"
XXX
And so that is how Skyfire joined the Autobots as well as why Megatron hasn't killed Starscream yet.
A/N: Damn, now I want ice cream.
I hoped you all enjoyed! :3
If you did, please review.