Alternative Energy
It was supposed to be an exercise in acting.
That's it; nothing more. Ms. Corcoran had put him up to it in the first of what proved to be a series of covert meetings in her car, marked by sighs and misty eyes and raised voices and a progressively intensifying feeling of what are we doing isn't it supposed to be easier. When she'd first taken him to watch New Directions at sectionals, he'd been confused, then intrigued-enough so that he didn't voice his qualms. Now, he's not so sure that he'd-they'd-done the right thing.
He's losing his touch-everyone at Carmel knows it. If Vocal Adrenaline was an engine, Jesse was the key in its ignition, but the key took a detour to William McKinley High School for a couple of weeks and when it came back the engine didn't need it anymore, running on wind power, solar power, memory power of the last three years' glory-call it what you will. Jesse is replaceable. No, worse: Jesse is dispensable.
Ironic, isn't it, that New Directions will be devastated without him?
It was supposed to be an exercise in acting, but somewhere along the line, the act became reality and the lies became the truth and maybe he is in love with a girl named Rachel Berry, maybe he does pity Vocal Adrenaline for lack of soul, maybe WIll Schuester's sorry little endeavor should stand a chance after all-he doesn't know. He wishes he knew, because Jesse is willing to become a lot of things, but he's not so sure anymore that a double agent is one of them.
Vocal Adrenaline's biggest strength isn't talent; it's energy, the sheer will to keep going going going going going. And Jesse doesn't know if he can go any further without-