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Author's Notes: Well, We've finally finished. It took
quite awhile, but we're done, and pretty proud of it too! Be
warned: It's LONG. This story was written by Chibi-Haruka and
Chibi-Michi. All Sailormoon characters are (c) Naoko Takeuchi,
Toei Animation, Kodansha Comics, etc. This story is
(obviously) a Monty Python/Sailormoon crossover. And now, with
that said, may we present to you: Monty Mistress Nine and the
Holy Grail!
----------------------------------------------
[Episode preview music plays.]
Usagi V.O.:
Today on Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon, we are going to have lots
of fun!
[Clip of Usagi and Tuxedo Kamen hurling swords
at each other.]
Usagi V.O.: Also, we're going to see
some familiar faces!
[Clip of the Mimete blowing
things up.]
Usagi V.O.: And many people you don't like
are going to die!
[Clip of Kakyuu-hime hitting the
Three Lights over the head with Chibi-Chibi.]
Usagi
V.O.: And remember, if you don't like it, TOUGH! I
mean...Tsukini Kawatte, OSHIOKYO!
[Moonlight Densetsu
starts to play, but then we hear the sound of a scratching
record. A title appears on screen.]
Monty Mistress 9
and the Holy Grail
Usagi V.O.: MONCHI MISUTORESU NAINU
TO SEIHAI!
[credits role]
[The sound of a
horse galloping is heard in the distance. Usagi is seen
bouncing over the hill, followed by Luna with a huge bag full
of stuff on her back, clacking coconuts together. They are
heading towards a castle. Cyprine is seen at the top of the
castle. Usagi stops at the castle, and Cyprine looks down at
her.]
Cyprine: Halt! Who goes there?
Usagi: I am
Usagi from Tokyo! Daughter of Queen Serenity! Defeater of
really evil villains! Sovereign of all anime! And this is my
trusty servant Luna! We have traveled the land in search of
senshi to join our team!
Cyprine: Wheres your horse? Youre
using coconuts!
Usagi: I am not!
Cyprine: Yes you are!
Whered you get the coconuts?
Usagi: We found them!
Cyprine: You found them? Here?
Usagi: What do you
mean?
Cyprine: This is a temperate zone!
Usagi: The
daimons may run south, but they are not strangers to us!
Cyprine: Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
Usagi: Not at all! Maybe a daimon carried one.
Cyprine: A daimon? Carrying a coconut?
Usagi: It could
grip it by the husk!
Cyprine: It doesnt matter where they
grip it, its a matter of looks! A disturbing-looking daimon,
carrying a cute little coconut?
Usagi: It doesnt matter!
[At the top of the castle, Pikurol appears next to
Cyprine.]
Pikurol: Two is one, one is--
[Cyprine smacks her.]
Pikurol: Oh...sorry.
*ahem* It could have been carried by an lemure!
Cyprine:
Maybe, but not a daimon!
Pikurol: Oh yeah, I agree with
that!
[Usagi and Luna decide to move on. They come to
a poor village. Sick people are seen all around. Hotaru is
collecting dead bodies.]
Hotaru: Bring out your dead!
Bring out your dead!
[Demando appears, carrying the
Wiseman over his shoulder.]
Demando: Heres one!
Wiseman: Im not dead!
Hotaru: Hes not dead!
Demando: He will be in a moment, hes very ill.
Wiseman: Im getting better! I dont want to go on the cart!
I feel happy! I feel happy!
[Hotaru hits him over the
head with her glaive.]
Hotaru: There you go.
Demando: Thank you. See you on Thursday.
[Usagi
and Luna ride by.]
Demando: Who's that?
Hotaru: I
don't know. Must be royalty.
Demando: How can you tell
that?
Hotaru: Look at those things on the top of her head!
Demando: Oh, I see.
[Usagi and Luna come to a
field where people are working. Rubeus is working in a field
and Usagi approaches him.]
Usagi: Old woman!
Rubeus: Man!
Usagi: Sorry! Who lives in that castle
over there?
Rubeus: Im 37! Im not old!
Usagi: Well I
couldnt have just called you man!
Rubeus: You couldve
called me Rubeus! Thats my name.
Usagi: Im sorry, I didnt
know.
Rubeus: Well you didnt bother to find out, did you?
You automatically treat me like an inferior!
Usagi: Well,
I am Princess Serenity.
Rubeus: OooOooh, I guess that
makes you special, doesn't it?
Usagi: Well, actually--
[Rubeus starts going on and on about government, when
Saffir appears and throws himself on the ground.]
Saffir: Oh, what lovely filth down here! Oh hello!
Usagi: Hello, I am Usagi, princess of shoujo manga!
Saffir: I didnt know we had a princess!
Rubeus: We
dont, were living in a dictatorship!
[Rubeus and
Saffir babble on about government for about five minutes,
while Usagi holds her hands over her ears.]
Usagi: Be
quiet! I order you to be quiet!
Saffir: Order us, do you?
Usagi: Yes, I am your princess!
Saffir: Well, I didn't
vote for you.
Usagi: You don't vote for a princess! I was
walking down the streets of Juuban one day, when a black cat
appeared before me, and gave me a henshin broach. I was able
to transform into the Sailorsenshi known as Sailormoon, and--
Rubeus: Look, alien cats walking down the sidewalk,
distributing jewelry is no basis for a system of government!
Usagi: Shut up! Shut up, will you, shut up!
Rubeus:
Help, help, Im being repressed! Do you see her repressing me?
Usagi: UGGH!!
[Usagi leaves, and is next seen in a
forest. Fighting is heard, and as Usagi gets closer, she sees
that the two people fighting are Tsukikage no Knight and
Tuxedo Kamen. Usagi just sits there and watches. Tsukikage no
Knight charges at Tuxedo Kamen and screams a battle cry.
Tuxedo Kamen replies by sticking a rose in Tsukikage no
Knight's eyes, thus killing him. Usagi then approaches Tuxedo
Kamen.]
Usagi: You fight with the strength of many
men, Tuxedo Kamen-sama.
[Tuxedo Kamen is silent.]
Usagi: I am Usagi! Keeper of the ginzuishou! I am
looking for senshi to join me at Crystal Tokyo!
[Silence.]
Usagi: You make me sad, Sir
Mamo-chan.
[She goes to leave.]
Tuxedo Kamen:
None shall pass.
Usagi: What?
Tuxedo Kamen: None shall
pass.
Usagi: I have no quarrels with you! I must cross
this bridge!
Tuxedo Kamen: Then you shall... *dramatic
pause* shine.
Usagi: STAND ASIDE!
Tuxedo Kamen: I move
for no man.
Usagi: I am not a man!
Tuxedo Kamen:
Sorry. I move for no person.
Usagi: So be it!
[They fight for awhile until Usagi brings out the
Spiral Moon Heart Rod, shouts "MOON SPIRAL HEART ATTACK!" and
Tuxedo Kamens arm falls off.]
Usagi: Now stand aside,
worthy advisory.
Tuxedo Kamen: Tis but a scratch!
Usagi: What!? Your arms off!
Tuxedo Kamen: No it
isn't.
Usagi: Then what's that, then?
[Usagi
gestures to Tuxedo Kamen's arm, lying on the ground, and
Tuxedo Kamen looks at it and laughs.]
Tuxedo Kamen:
Ive had worse. Come on, you pansy!
[Tuxedo Kamen
rushes at Usagi, and Usagi uses her attack so that his other
arm comes off.]
Usagi: Victory is mine!
[Usagi
kneels downs to pray to Puu, and Tuxedo Kamen kicks Usagi on
the head.]
Tuxedo Kamen: Come on! Come on!
Usagi:
Stop it! This fight is mine!
Tuxedo Kamen: Oh, had enough,
eh?
Usagi: Stop it, youve got no arms left!
Tuxedo
Kamen: Yes I have!
[He kicks her in the behind.]
Usagi: All right then!
[Again, Usagi uses her
attack, and off comes one of Tuxedo Kamens legs. Tuxedo Kamen
hops around on the only limb he has left.]
Tuxedo
Kamen: Right! I'll do you for that!
Usagi: You'll what!?
What are you going to do, bleed on me?
[Tuxedo Kamen
rushes at her again.]
Tuxedo Kamen: I'M INVINCIBLE!
Usagi: You're a looney.
Tuxedo Kamen: MAMO-CHAN ALWAYS
TRIUMPHS! Come on, then!
[Usagi uses her attack again,
and Tuxedo Kamen is leg-less. He sits up on his stumps.]
Tuxedo Kamen: Alright then, we'll call it a draw.
Usagi: Come on, Luna.
[Luna comes out from her
hiding place behind a tree and follows Usagi as she leaves
Tuxedo Kamen.]
Tuxedo Kamen: I see, running away? Come
back here and take what's coming to you!
[There is a
quick cut to the next scene, four men are seen chanting in
Latin. They are Jadeite, Nephrite, Zoisite, and Kunzite. They
stop to slam wood things against their heads, and then
continue chanting. As the camera pans left, we see a bunch of
pheasants pushing Nephrenia up to a platform where Minako
stands, zoning off into space. Nephrenia is dressed up as a
witch with a fake nose and ratty clothes.]
Pheasents:
WITCH! She's a witch! Witch! We've got a witch!
Tsukino
Kenji: We have found a witch, may we burn her?
Minako: How
do you know she is a witch?
Tsukino Shingo: She looks like
one!
Minako: Bring her forward.
Nephrenia: I am not a
witch!
Minako: But you are dressed as one.
Nephrenia:
They dressed me like this.
Pheasents: No! No we didn't!
Nephrenia: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one!
[Minako lifts up the fake nose that is on Nephrenia's
face.]
Minako: Well?
Tsukino Kenji: Well, we did
do the nose.
Minako: The nose?
Tsukino Kenji: And the
hat. But she is a witch!
Pheasents: BURN HER, BURN HER!
Minako: Did you...dress her up like this?
Pheasents:
NO!
Tsukino Kenji: No!
Pheasents: Yes...
Tsukino
Kenji: Yes...a bit. She has got a wart!
Minako: What makes
you think she is a witch?
Tsukino Shingo: She turned me
into a NEWT!
Minako: A newt?
Tsukino Shingo: *pauses*
I got better...
Tsukino Ikuko: BURN HER ANYWAY!
[We see Usagi and Luna enter the scene.]
Minako: Quiet, quiet! There are ways of telling
whether she is a witch!
Tsukino Kenji: There are? What are
they? Tell us!
Tsukino Ikuko: Tell us, tell us!
Minako: What do we do with witches?
Pheasents: BURRRN
THEM!
Minako: And what do we burn apart from witches?
Tsukino Kenji: MORE WITCHES!
Tsukino Ikuko: WOOD!
Minako: So why do witches burn?
[Long pause.]
Tsukino Shingo: Because they're made of wood?
Minako: Goood! So. How to we tell if she is made of wood?
Tsukino Kenji: Build a bridge out of her!
Minako: Aah,
but can you not also build bridges out of stone?
[Another long pause.]
Minako: Does wood sink
in water?
Tsukino Kenji: No, it floats!
Minako: What
also floats in water?
Tsukino Kenji: Bread!
Tsukino
Ikuko: Apples!
Tsukino Shingo: Very small rocks!
[Many different things are called out as Minako shakes
her head.]
Usagi: A DUCK!
[The crowd gasps.]
Minako: Exactly! So, logically, if...
Tsukino
Kenji: She...weighs...the same as a duck...she's made of wood!
Minako: And therefore...
[Pause.]
Tsukino
Kenji: A WITCH!
Pheasents: A WITCH! A WITCH!
Minako:
We should use my larger scales.
[She hops off of the
platform she's standing on. The all run over to two scales,
placing Nephrenia in one and a duck in the other. The scales
teeter a little bit and then even out. Somehow, Nephrenia
weighs the same as a duck. They all run off to burn her,
except Minako, who Usagi approaches.]
Minako: Who are
you, who is so wise in the ways of science?
Usagi: I am
Usagi, princess of Tokyo.
[Minako bows before Usagi.]
Minako: My liege!
Usagi: Good Sailorsenshi, would
you join my senshi team as we make our way to Crystal Tokyo?
Minako: I would be honored!
Usagi: What is your name?
Minako: Aino Minako, but you may call me Minako-chan, or
Mina-chan, or Mina-P, or--
Usagi: Then I dub you SIR
MINAKO, Sailorvenus!
Narrator: The wise Sir Minako was
the first to join Usagi's Sailorsenshi Team. More were soon to
follow. Sir Haruka, Sailoruranus, the Brave.
[Clip of
Haruka fighting back hoards of her groupies.]
Groupies: Haruka-saammaaaa...
Haruka: Argh! Back!
Back I say!
Groupies: Noooo!
Haruka: GET BACK!
Narrator: Sir Ami, Sailormercury, the Pure.
[Clip of Ami covering her eyes as the other Inner
Senshi peek through the bushes (a la the R movie).]
Ami: Bad, bad, bad, spying on them!
Chibi-usa:
Geez, Ami-chan, really...
Ami: It's bad, bad!
Narrator: Sir Kakyuu, the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As Sir
Haruka...
[Clip of Kakyuu-hime twirling a strand of
hair around her finger.]
Narrator: ...Who had nearly
fought Galaxia...
[Clip of Kakyuu-hime hiding in a
closet while Galaxia looks around for her.]
Narrator:
...Who had almost kicked Taiki in the forehead...
[Clip of Kakyuu-hime slipping in a puddle of water,
her shoe flying off as she flips over, and Taiki barely
escaping the shoe in time to save his precious forehead.]
Narrator: And who had personally picked up her skirts
and ran when she saw the Starlights henshin for the first
time.
[Clip of Kakyuu-hime staring at the Starlights.]
Kakyuu: Men? MEN? You disguised yourselves as men!?
Seiya: Well, uh...we can fix that...FIGHTER STAR POWER!
Taiki: MAKER STAR POWER!
Yaten: HEALER STAR POWER!
All: MAKE UP!
Kakyuu: ...Holy-- ARRGGGGHHH!!
Narrator: And the aptly named, Sir
Not-Appearing-In-This-Film.
[Clip of Galaxia looking
pissed.]
Narrator: Together they formed a Sailorsenshi
Team, whose names and deeds would be retold through manga,
anime, and video games!
[Now we see our group of
senshi hopping up and down across the land, each senshi has
someone following behind them with coconuts, making clacking
sounds. Behind Usagi is Luna, Rei follows Minako, Makoto is
following Ami, Michiru is behind Haruka, and Chibi-Chibi is
struggling along behind Kakyuu-hime.]
Minako: So you
see, Usagi-chan, the way to get good grades on your English
test is to go to America, live there for a few years, and
hopefully by then you should know a few words. Then return to
your school and I bet you'll ace those tests!
Usagi:
Really, Minako-chan, isn't there an easier way?
Minako:
NO!!
Haruka: Look, Odango-chan!
[The group looks
to where Haruka is pointing. She is pointing at a large
crystal-looking castle.]
Usagi: Crystal Tokyo!
Ami: Crystal Tokyo!
Haruka: Crystal Tokyo!
Luna:
It's only a model.
Usagi: Shh, Luna. Sailorsenshi, I bid
you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to...Crystal Tokyo!
[Music starts up, it's Moonlight Densetsu, and
Chibi-usa is singing.]
Chibi-usa: Gomen ne sunao
janakute,
Yume no naka naga i--
[We hear gunshots,
and the singing stops.]
Usagi: Um...let's skip Crystal
Tokyo. Scary people live there.
[The Sailorsenshi are
traveling along a hill when they hear a voice. It sounds
mysteriously like Setsuna's.]
Setsuna: Usagi...Usagi,
Queen of Crystal Tokyo!
[Setsuna's image appears in
the clouds and all of the senshi bow down before her.]
Setsuna: Oh, don't grovel! One thing I can't stand is
people groveling! Everytime I try to talk to someone it's
"Puu," this and "Puu," that and "Puu, can I go back in time to
save so-and-so," so knock it off!
Usagi: Yes, Puu!
Setsuna: Usagi, Queen of Crystal Tokyo, your Sailorsenshi
shall have a task to make them an example in these hard times.
Usagi: Why are they hard times?
Setsuna: Because I
said so!!
Usagi: Oh, um...Good idea, O Puu!
Setsuna:
OF COURSE IT'S A GOOD IDEA! Behold, Usagi, this is the Holy
Grail, the Sacred Cup, the Sacred Chalice, the Seihai, or
whatever you want to call the thing. With this you can power
up into Super Sailormoon. This is your purpose, Usagi. The
Quest for the Holy Grail.
Haruka: Ano...excuse me...do
Michiru and I have to die this time?
Setsuna: You don't
want to die this time?
Michiru: Not necessarily.
[Setsuna pulls out a pen and quickly rewrites the
script.]
Setsuna: No. You don't have to die.
Haruka: Oh...that's good.
[The clouds close and
Setsuna is no longer seen.]
Ami: Puu be praised!
[Clip of all of the senshi bowing down before Setsuna,
who is wearing a huge grin.]
Setsuna: God has three
letters, Puu has three letters. What more can you want?
[Um...anyway. Our group of senshi moves on to another
castle. Usagi looks up to the top and calls out to them.]
Usagi: Koooonnniiiichiii waaaa!!
[Mistress 9
pops her head out and answers back, in a thick Japanese
accent.]
Mistress 9: Herro? Who is it?
Usagi: It
is Usagi, and these are my Sailorsenshi. Who's castle is this?
Mistress 9: This is the caserre of my mastaa, Mastaa
Pharaoh 90!
Usagi: Go and tell your master that we have
been charged by Puu with a sacred quest to find the Seihai!
Mistress 9: Werr, I'r ask him, but I don't think he'rr be
beri keen, he's arready got one, see?
Usagi: What?
Ami: She says they've already got one!
Usagi: You've
already got one?
Mistress 9: Hai, it's beri nice!
[Mistress 9 leans back to speak to others in the
castle, and we can see that they are Eudial and Villuy.]
Mistress 9: I told them we already had one!
[Eudial and Villuy snicker.]
Usagi: May we
come up and have a look?
Mistress 9: Of course not! You
are Engrish persons!
Usagi: Um...no, we're not...we're
Japanese, like you!
Mistress 9: Then why are you tarking
in Engrish?
Usagi: This is a...movie...for...English
people...
Ami: Excuse me, if you are Japanese, what are
you doing in England?
Mistress 9: I am getting paid good
money to appear in this sirry moobi!
Usagi: If you will
not let us come up, then we will take your castle by force!
Mistress 9: You don't frighten my, Engrish rabbit girr!
Usagi: I TOLD you, I'm not English!
Mistress 9: Go and
cook your odango, daughter of sirry kuiin! I wirr wrap my hair
around your neck!
Ami: She's even weirder than ME...
Usagi: Now look here--
Mistress 9: I don wanna tark to
you no more, you airheaded bunny, you dumpring headed person!
Your mother was a jackrabbit and your father smert of
moonshine!
[Usagi rolls her eyes at all the bad
references to the moon and rabbits.]
Ami: Is there
someone else up there we could talk to?
Mistress 9: Go
away or I sharr taunt you a second taimu!
Usagi: Now, this
is your last chance. I think I have been more than
reasonable--
[Mistress 9 turns to Eudial and Villuy
and tells them something in Japanese. They nod, and hurry off
to do something.]
Usagi: --if you would just agree
with my commands--
[A loud sound is heard, and
suddenly a daimon comes flying over the castle walls.]
Daimon: Neeekkooooo-neeeerrruuuuuu!!
Usagi: YAAH!
All: CHARGE!
[They run towards the castle as
dozens of daimons are launched at them.]
Daimon:
Uuutooommaaaddaaachiiii!!
Daimon: Maaaakuuujiiii!
Daimon: Steeerrinngguu!
Usagi: RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
Haruka: How dare they launch recycled daimons at us!
Minako: Usagi-chan, I have a plan...
[Mistress 9
is standing at her post, and she begins to hear noises in the
forest. Slowly, a huge Trojan-horse-like wooden rabbit is
pushed up to the castle by the senshi. At the gate, they leave
it and run back to the forest. Eudial pokes her head out to
examine the rabbit. Slowly Mistress 9, Eudial, and Villuy
sneak out of the castle and take the rabbit back in.]
Usagi: So, what happens now?
Minako: Okay, now,
Haruka-san, Ami-chan, and I wait until nightfall, and then
leap out of the rabbit, taking Mistress 9 and her witch
friends by surprise. Not only taking them by surprise, but
totally unarmed!
Usagi: Who leaps out?
Minako:
Haruka-san, Ami-chan, and I...leap...out of...the rabbit...
Usagi: UGH...
Minako: Look, if we built this large,
wooden odango...
[Usagi smacks Minako. Suddenly there
is another loud sound, and the giant wooden rabbit is launched
over the castle walls.]
Usagi: Uh...RUN AWAY! RUN
AWAY!
[There is a quick scene change. Now we see a man
with white hair, glinting glasses, and a big red smile. Yes,
it's Professor Tomoe.]
Tomoe: Defeat at the castle
seemed to have utterly disheartened Usagi. The ferocity of
Mistress 9 and her daimons took the Sailorsenshi completely by
surprise, and Usagi was convinced that new strategies would be
needed if the quest for the Seihai would be completed. Usagi
decided that her senshi team should separate. But I seriously
doubt they will get past those daimons, after all, I made
them. Then we can...TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! Mwaha,
MWAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHOOHOOHOOHAHAA!!
[All
of the sudden, a berserk daimon comes running up from nowhere
and kills Professor Tomoe. Kaolinite comes running up to him,
screaming.]
Kaolinite: PROFESSOR!
[A title
appears on screen: "The Tale of Sir Kakyuu."]
Narrator: So the senshi went their separate ways. Sir
Kakyuu rode north, through the dark forest of Euwing,
accompanied by her favorite minstrels.
[We see
Kakyuu-hime traveling through the forest, followed by
Chibi-Chibi and the Three Lights, who are singing "Nagareboshi
hi."]
Seiya: Kotaete!
Yaten and Taiki: Answer for
meee...
Seiya: Imasugu!
Yaten and Taiki: Answer for
meee...
Seiya: Kotaete!
Yaten and Taiki: Answer for
meee...
Seiya: Yasashiku!
Yaten and Taiki: Answer for
meee...
Kakyuu: Shut up, shut UP, SHUT UP! Would you sing
something different for a change!?
Seiya:
Um...okay...urm...how about...
Three Lights: Yume no naka
de nan domo, so tsu to kuchizuke kawashi--
Kakyuu: I don't
like that one EITHER!
Taiki: Gee, you don't like anything
today, do you?
Kakyuu: DON'T QUESTION ME!
Three
voices: HALT! WHO ART THOU!?
[Kakyuu-hime looks up to
see a person with three heads. The heads are Tigers Eye, Hawks
Eye, and Fish Eye.]
Kakyuu: Oh...nobody...I'm just
passing by...
Amazon Trio: What do you want?
Seiya:
We're looking fo--
[Kakyuu-hime clamps a hand over his
mouth.]
Kakyuu: Just passing through...
Amazon
Trio: Well, we're afraid not.
Kakyuu: Well...I am with
Usagi's Sailorsenshi...
Amazon Trio: You're a
Sailorsenshi?
Yaten: I am! I am! Yaaay!
Kakyuu:
No...I'm just their princess...
Tiger's Eye: Then I'll
have to kill you.
Hawk's Eye: Shall I?
Fish Eye: I
don't think so! Hey...you haven't by any chance seen anyone
named Mamoru lately, have you?
Tiger's Eye: Oh, shut up! I
want to cut his head off!
Fish Eye: Hmph, cut your own
head off.
Hawk's Eye: Yeah, do us all a favor!
Fish
Eye: He's always bothering me!
Hawk's Eye: You're lucky,
you're not next to him.
Tiger's Eye: What do you mean?
Hawk's Eye: You snore.
Tiger's Eye: I'm too beautiful
to snore! Anyway, you're hair is always in my face.
Hawk's
Eye: It's only because you don't brush it!
Fish Eye: Stop
bitching and just get on with it, you two!
Tiger's Eye:
Okay! Let's kill him!
Hawk's Eye and Fish Eye: Right.
[They look down and see...no Kakyuu-hime. She has ran
off into the woods.]
Seiya: Hey, why did you run away?
Yaten: Why didn't you fight them?
Taiki: Haruka would
have fought them!
Kakyuu: Who cares about Haruka?
Seiya: It's fun to piss her off. ^_^
Kakyuu: You are
such an idiot.
[Another title screen comes up, "The
Tale of Sir Ami." We see Ami and Makoto walking through the
forest, and they see a castle. They are walking up to the
castle, when suddenly the screen rips, and we can see a bunch
of DiC workers snipping away at the film.]
DiC Worker
#1: The upcoming scene is not suitable for children. For this
reason, we must CUT IT OUT!
All DiC Workers: MWAHAHAHA!
MWHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!
DiC Worker #1: Anyway, we will be
continuing the film after the part that is not suitable...oh,
what the hell.
DiC Worker #2: Umm...
DiC Worker #1:
Heck, heck, what the heck.
[Toei workers run in,
screaming, and chase the DiC workers out.]
Toei worker
#1: Sorry about that, but seeing as how they cut up this part
of the film into little tiny pieces, we wont be able to show
that to you. Well have to continue on to the part that isnt in
little bits all over the floor. Thank you for understanding.
[The scene returns to normal, with Ami standing in the
middle of a forest.]
Ami: This sucks. Why my scene?
Narrator: *ahem* Meanwhile, Usagi and Sir Minako, not more
than a daimon's leap away (a daimon not carrying a coconut,
obviously, it would look too silly), had discovered something.
[Usagi and Minako are talking to a giant bug, which
turns out to be who else than Zirconia. Zircon is perched on
the ground, its flames providing light. Luna and Rei are
sitting behind Usagi and Minako.]
Usagi: And this
enchanter of who you speak, she has seen the Seihai?
Zirconia: Hee hee hee hee hee...
Usagi: Where does she
live? Old woman, where does she live?
Zirconia: She knows
of a cave, a cave which no person has entered!
Usagi: And
the Seihai, the Seihai is there?
Zirconia: There is much
danger, for beyond the cave lies--
Usagi: But the SEIHAI!
Where is the Seihai!
Zirconia: Over the Bridge of Death!
Usagi: The Bridge of Death?
[Ziconia disappears,
and Usagi and Minako are left sitting alone in the forest.
They stand up and begin traveling through the forest again.
Suddenly, a huge figure appears before them. It is ParaPara on
stilts. CereCere, JunJun, and VesVes pop their heads up from
the bushes around her.]
ParaPara: NI!
Usagi: Who
are you?
ParaPara: ParaPara and her friends are the Circus
Performers Who Say...NI!
Usagi: No! Not the Circus
Performers Who Say Ni!
ParaPara: The same! ParaPara and
her friends are the keepers of the sacred words, "Ni," "Ping,"
and "NEEEWAAAAM!"
Usagi: Those who hear them seldom live
to tell the tale!
ParaPara: ParaPara demands...a
sacrifice!
Usagi: Circus Performers Who Say Ni, we are but
simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these
woods--
ParaPara: NI!
Amazoness Quartet: Ni! Ni! Ni!
ParaPara: We shall say "Ni" again to you if you do not
appease us.
Usagi: Well, what is it you want?
ParaPara: ParaPara wants...A SHRUBBERY!
Usagi: What?
ParaPara: NI!
Usagi: Fine then, we will find you a
shrubbery!
ParaPara: You must find ParaPara a shrubbery,
or you will never pass through this wood...alive.
Usagi: O
Circus Performers of Ni, you are just and fair, we will find
you a shrubbery--
ParaPara: One that looks nice.
Usagi: Of course--
ParaPara: And not to expensive.
Usagi: Yes.
ParaPara: Now...GO!
[A title that
says "The Tale of Sir Haruka" appears on the screen. We see
Queen Beryl and Motoki inside a castle, looking out the
window.]
Beryl: One day lad, all of this will be
yours. That will be your kingdom, lad.
Motoki: But I don't
want any of that!
Beryl: Look! I built this kingdom out of
nothing, and look how it turned out! All nice and gloomy and
dark and everything. That is why we call it the Dark Kingdom!
And that is what you're getting!
Motoki: But I don't want
any of that, I'd rather--
Beryl: Rather what?
Motoki:
Sing!
Beryl: Stop that, you're not going to do any of that
while I'm here! Now listen. In twenty minutes you're getting
married to a girl whose father owns a lot of open land in
Tokyo--
Motoki: But I don't want land...
Beryl:
Listen, Motoki, we live in a dank dark place! We need all the
land we can get!
Motoki: But I don't like her!
Beryl:
You'll like her! She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got...a
lot of land.
Motoki: I know, but I want the girl I marry
to have a certain...special...something!
[Music starts
up.]
Beryl: Stop that, stop that! You're marrying this
girl, Motoki, so you better get used to that! Guards!
[Sailor Aluminum Siren and Sailor Lead Crow walk in.]
Beryl: He is not to leave the room until I come and
get him.
Aluminum Siren: Umm...he is not to leave the
room, even if you come and get him?
Beryl: No. Until I
come and get him.
Aluminum Siren: We are not to stay in
the room?
Beryl: No, you are to stay in the room--
Aluminum Siren: Until you come and get him.
Lead Crow:
*hiccups*
Beryl: Right.
Aluminum Siren: If we, uh, if
we...um...if we...
Beryl: Look. It's quite simple. You
just stay here, and make sure he doesn't leave the room until
I come and get him. Okay?
Aluminum Siren: Can he leave the
room with us?
Beryl: No, no...
Lead Crow: *hiccups*
Beryl: Have you got it?
Aluminum Siren: Yes, it's
quite clear to me now.
Motoki: But--
[Music starts
up.]
Beryl: AND NO SINGING!
[She finally
leaves the room. Motoki innocently wanders over to a piece of
paper, writes something on it, folds it up into a paper
airplane shape, and launches it out the window. Aluminum Siren
and Lead Crow smile at him. The scene changes, and we see
Haruka and Michiru hopping over small streams. Suddenly
Michiru screams, and Haruka looks back.]
Michiru:
AAAAAAAAHHH!
Haruka: What is it?
[Haruka turns
around to see Michiru with a paper airplane stuck in her
hair.]
Michiru: MY HAIR! IT'S MUSSED MY HAIR!
Haruka: Oh...what is it?
Michiru: I don't know, but
IT'S IN MY HAIR!
[Haruka takes the airplane out of
Michiru's hair. Michiru is still twitching as Haruka unfolds
the airplane.]
Haruka: "To anyone who finds this, I am
being imprisoned by Queen Beryl, who wishes me to marry
against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me; I
am in the tall tower of the Dark Kingdom." At last! This may
be the sign that leads us to the Seihai! Brave, brave, Michi!
You shall not have had your hair mussed in vain!
Michiru:
It's okay now.
Haruka: Oh, I see.
Michiru: Actually I
think I can go with you now. *straightens hair*
Haruka:
No, sweet Michiru! Stay here! I will send help! And now I will
attempt a heroic rescue in my own particular...Uhhmmm...My own
particular...*looks at Michi* Whats the next word?
Michi:
Idium, Haruka.
Haruka: Yes! Idium! *dashes off
heroic-like*
Michiru: So Ill stay here then, right?
[The scene changes to the front of the castle where
Iron Mouse and Tin Nyanko are standing welcoming guests. Iron
Mouse is eating an apple, and Tin Nyanko is checking out a
guest. They look and see Haruka running toward them. They
continue what they were doing before. When they look again,
Haruka is still running toward them, in the same place she was
a minute ago. Again, they continue their activities, and when
they look up for the third time, Haruka is STILL running
toward them in the same place she was before. Iron Mouse keeps
eating her apple, and Tin Nyanko just stares at Haruka. All of
the sudden, Haruka suddenly appears in front of them and runs
Iron Mouse through with her sword and dashes into the castle.]
Tin Nyanko: Hey.
[Once inside the castle,
Haruka goes on a killing spree. She stabs anyone in her way.
She makes her way up to Motokis room, and stabs Aluminum Siren
and Lead Crow and kneels before Motoki.]
Haruka: Oh
fair one! Behold your servant, Sir Haruka of Crystal Tokyo,
I--what the? *stands up*
Motoki: Oh! Youve come to rescue
me!!!
Haruka: No, well you see...
Motoki: I KNEW
someone would! I knew that someone out there,
somewhere...*music starts up*
Beryl: Stop that! Stop that!
Who are you?
Motoki: Im your son...
Beryl: Not you,
you!
Haruka: Im Sir Haruka of Crystal Tokyo.
Motoki:
Shes come to rescue me father! Or are you my mother?
Beryl: Shut up! You know those guards are expensive? They
cost 500000 yen each!
Haruka: Im awfully sorry!
Motoki: Quick, Sir Haruka! Ive got a rope ready!
Haruka: Well, I thought that he was a girl.
Beryl: I
can understand that!
Motoki: Hurry, Sir Haruka! Hurry!
Beryl: Shut up! You know you killed eight wedding guests
in all? And you kicked the bride in the chest!
Haruka: Im
so sorry. I just got carried away! I got this note when I was
riding north from Crystal Tokyo and
Beryl: Did you say
Crystal Tokyo? Would you like to have a drink?
Motoki:
Hurry! Im ready!
Haruka: Well thats awfully nice of you to
askSure!
Motoki: HARUKA-SAN! IM READY! HURRY!
[Beryl cuts Motokis rope and walks downstairs with
Haruka to have a drink. Downstairs there is much wailing and
gnashing of teeth because the wedding was ruined.]
Yuuichirou: There she is!
Beryl: Oh. Bloody hell.
[Haruka runs down the stairs and starts killing people
again.]
Beryl: Stop it! Stop it!
Haruka: Sorry!
Sorry! See there? I get so carried away!
Yuuichirou: Shes
killed the best man!
Beryl: Hold it! Hold it! This is Sir
Haruka from Crystal Tokyo, a very brave and influential
knight.
Yuuichirou: She killed my aunty!
Beryl:
Please! Please! This is supposed to be a happy time. Lets not
fight bout who killed who. This is a happy time! We are here
today to witness the union of two young people in holy
wedlock. However, one of them is dead. My son, Motoki, has
just fallen to his death.
[People moan.]
Beryl: I dont think Ive lost a son, but gained a
daughter. Reikas father, who on deaths door felt the icy grip
of Death himself...
[Tin Nyanko chokes Reikas father.]
Beryl: ...I want his only daughter to look upon me, as
her father, in a very real and legally binding sense.
[People clap.]
Yuuichirou: LOOK! The dead
prince!
Beryl: You fell out of the tall tower you creep!
Motoki: But I was saved at the last minute.
Beryl:
How?
Motoki: Well Ill tell you. *music starts up*
Beryl: No! Not like that! Not like that!
People:
*singing* Hes going to tell. Hes going to tell.
Michiru:
Quickly, Haruka! Come this way!
Haruka: Yes, but I must do
it dramatically!
[She jumps on rope and swings down,
but doesnt make it. Haruka is left swinging on the rope over a
bunch of singing people. The scene changes to a town where
Usagi and Minako ride up. Esmeraude is beating Artemis against
her house.]
Artemis: MEOW!
Usagi: Old crow! Do you
know where we can buy...a shrubbery?
Esmeraude: Who sent
you?
Usagi: The Circus Performers who say Ni!
Esmeraude: NO! There are no shrubberies here!
Usagi:
If you do not help us my friend and I will saywill sayNI!
Esmeraude: NO! No...shrubberies...
Usagi: NI!
Minako: Neewww!
Usagi: No! Its Ni!
Minako:
Newww...nooee...ni!
Usagi: There now you have it!
Both: NI! NI! NI!
Esmeraude: No! Thereare no
shrubberiesnoo!
Tellu: Are you saying Ni to that old
woman?
Usagi: Ahhh...yes.
Tellu: What sad times are
these when passing senshi can say Ni at will to old women.
Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under
considerable economic stress!
Usagi: Are you a shrubbier?
Tellu: Yes. Shrubbery is my trade. I am a shrubbier. I am
Tellu the shrubbier. I arrange, design, and sell shrubbery.
Minako: NI!
Usagi: NO!
[The scene changes,
back to the forest and the Circus Performers Who Say Ni.]
Usagi: Heres your shrubbery! Can we go now?
ParaPara:
There is one problem! We are no longer the Circus Performers
Who Say Ni! We are the Soap Opera Actors who say EH! Therefore
we must give you a test!
Usagi: Please, not another
shrubbery!
ParaPara: Indeed! And you must cut down the
mightiest tree in the forest with...Nephrites nose!
Usagi:
It cant be done!
ParaPara: Dont say that word! Suffice to
say the word that the Circus Performers Who Say Ni can not
hear!
Usagi: Well if you dont tell us what it is well keep
on saying it!
ParaPara, JunJun, VesVes and CereCere:
NNOOO!!!
Usagi: What? It?
[The Circus Performers
who say Ni scream.]
Minako: LOOK! Its Sir Kakyuu!
The Rights: Brave Sir Kakyuu! Packing it in and packing it
out! Running away and-
Kakyuu: SHUT UP!
Usagi: What
are you doing here?
Kakyuu: Well, I was looking for it
here in this woods.
Usagi: Well its not here.
[The
Circus Performers Who Say Ni scream.]
Usagi: OH STOP
IT!
ParaPara: You said it again! AH! ParaPara said it!
ParaPara said it again! AH! Thats three times!
[Usagi
and company leave. Meanwhile, Kaolinite is talking to the
police as they take Professor Tomoe away in a body bag.]
Narrator: And so Usagi, Sir Minako and Sir Kakyuu set
out to find the Enchanter that Zirconia spoke of in scene 24.
Beyond the forest they met Sir Haruka and Sir Ami and there
was much rejoicing. In the frozen land of Nedor they were
forced to eat the Sir Kakyuus minstrels. And there was much
rejoicing. A year passed. Until one day...
[The camera
pans down a rocky area to our heroines. There is the sound of
a loud explosion.]
Usagi: Halt! What was that?
[They all pause, but nothing happens. They resume
traveling, but then hear the sound again. We see Mimete
standing on top of a mountain, blowing things away with her
Charm Buster thing, then she blows herself up and appears in
front of Usagi.]
Usagi: WOW! That was cool! Can you do
that again?
Minako: Stick to the script, Usagi-chan!
Usagi: Right. Who are you?
Mimete: I am...an
enchanter.
Usagi: What is your name!?
Mimete: There
are some who call me...Mimete.
Usagi: Great! Weve been
looking all over for you! Whyd you have to hide all the way
out here!? My butt is sore from riding this stupid horse!
Mimete: What horse? Are those coconuts?
Luna: Not this
again!
Minako: Here. Watch this so we dont have to explain
it again.
[Minako quickly shows a clip from earlier in
the movie.]
Mimete: Oh, I see.
Usagi: Do you know
where the Seihai is?
Mimete: Nope.
All: Oh no...
Mimete: But! I do know where you can find the directions
to find the Seihai! BUT BEWARE! It is guarded by the fiercest
animal that has ever lived, with big pointy teeth!
[The senshi go towards the cave.]
Mimete:
Wait...
[Luna, Rei, Makoto, Michiru, and Chibi-Chibi
stop in their tracks and refuse to go on.]
Ami: Theyre
nervous, Usagi-chan!
Usagi: Dismount! Well continue on
foot!
[The senshi then reach the cave.]
Mimete: Behold the cave of big pointy teeth!
Usagi: Right! Im going in!
Mimete: WAIT! There it is!
Usagi: What!? Behind that cute devilish child with pink
hair?
Mimete: It IS the child.
Usagi: Whatever. Go and
kill it, Sir No Name.
No name: Right! One yam stew coming
up!
[Chibi-usa attacks and bites off No Names head.]
Ami: Eeewwwww...
Mimete: I told you! I told you!
Usagi: CHARGE!
[And a great battle ensues and
Chibi-usa attacks and kills two other No Named people.]
Usagi: RUN AWAY!
All: RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
Usagi: Good Puu! Thats kids dynamite!
Minako: It
killed No Name one, two and three!
Usagi: So that makes
five...
Ami: Three, Usagi-chan.
Usagi: Three.
Mimete: I told you! HAHAHAHAHA! I told you!!!!
Usagi:
Shut up!
Minako: Now what are we going to do??
Ami: I
know! The Holy Hand Grenade!
Usagi: Queen Serenity! Bring
me the Holy Hand Grenade!
[Queen Serenity, Endymion,
and the Four Dark Kingdom Generals proceed down the hill with
the Holy Hand Grenade. The Generals are singing Kokoro
Tabanete Makin' For The Right in three different keys.]
Queen Serenity: Shut up, will you?
Jadeite:
But...weve practicing!
[Kunzite, Ziocite and Nephrite
all nod in agreement.]
Generals: Yes, indeed, we have
been practicing!
Queen Serenity: Just shut up!
[They proceed down the hill in silence.]
Usagi: How does it, ummm, work exactly?
Ami: The
book of armaments!
Queen Serenity: The Book of Armaments,
chapter two, verses nine through twenty-three.
Endymion:
And Saint Magister raised the Holy Hand Grenade on high
saying; Oh Puu! Bless this thy hand grenade so that it may
blow thine enemy into tiny bits, in thy mercy. And the Puu did
grin, and the people feasted upon the lambs, and the sloths,
and the cats, and organutauns, and the lamas, and the deer,
and the yams and-
Queen Serenity: Skip a bit, brother.
Endymion: Im not your brother, but, ok. *clears throat*
And the Puu spake saying, First shall thou takest out the pin
from the Holy Hand Grenade, and thou shall count to three. No
more no less. Three shall be the number thou shall count and
the number shall be three. Four shall thou not count, nor
count thou two, unless thou go-est on to three. The number
three been reached, being the third number, lobbest the Holy
Hand Grenade of Saint Magister toward thy foe, who not being
in my sight, ducks not-eth.
Queen Serenity: Amen.
Senshi: Amen.
Usagi: Right, then.
[She grabs
Hand Grenade.]
Usagi: One two, five!
Minako:
Three, Usagi-chan!
Usagi: Three!
[She throws the
grenade. A great explosion sends dust everywhere and when it
clears the only thing remaining is the yams from the monster.]
[Meanwhile, in the forest where the Circus Performers
Who Say Ni reside, Umino and Naru are hot on the trail of the
person who killed Professor Tomoe. They hear the explosion and
run off. Back to the cave, Usagi and her senshi enter the dark
cave and find an inscription upon the wall.]
Usagi:
There! Look!
Ami: What language is that?
Usagi: Queen
Serenity!
Queen Serenity: Its Latin! Oh very good!
Ami: Of course! The Magister!
Usagi: Whats it say?
Queen Serenity: It reads: Here are the last words of the
Magister. He who has spiffy weapons and cheesy attacks may
find the Seihai in the Castle of Uuuuggghhhhh...
Usagi:
What!?
Queen Serenity: The Castle of Uuuugggghhhhh!
Minako: What does that mean!?
Queen Serenity: He must
have died while craving it.
Kakyuu: Oh, come on.
Ami:
Perhaps he was dictating it...
Usagi: Oh, shut up. Does it
say anything else?
Queen Serenity: Nope. Just
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhh...
[Everyone starts
saying Uuuuuuuugggggghhhhh.]
Ami: OOOOOHHHHH!
Minako: No! Its, uuuuuugggggggghhhhhh!
Ami: OH! As in
surprise and alarm!
[Helios roars and the senshi
scream.]
Senshi: AAAAHHHH!!
Queen Serenity: Its
the great black beast of...AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!!
[She
is eaten by Helios.]
Usagi: Run away!
[Helios
chases the senshi around until the narrator starts talking.]
Narrator: As the evil black beast lunged forward,
escape for Usagi and her brave sidekicks seemed hopeless. When
suddenly, The Animator, Naoko Takeuchi, suffered a fatal heart
attack.
[Clip of Naoko falling over dead.]
Narrator: The Anime peril was no more. The Quest for
the Seihai could continue.
[Outside of the cave, Umino
and Naru look at the dead bodies.]
Umino: Are
these...yams?
Naru: Yes, I think so.
Umino and Naru:
Yay, we got to say two lines in this whole f---ing flick.
DiC worker #1: Bad, bad! Thats a BAD word! *cut, cut,
censor, censor*
[Umino and Naru move on. There is a
scene change. The senshi have come upon the Bridge of Death.]
Usagi: There it is! The Bridge of Death!
Minako:
Look! Theres the old woman commonly mistaken as a man from
scene 24!
Usagi: This is the most dangerous part; the
bridge keeper asks the traveler five questions.
Ami:
Three, Usagi-chan.
Usagi: Three questions. And once he
answers the five questions--
Minako: Three, Usagi-chan.
Usagi: Three questions he can pass! Sir Kakyuu, go and
answer the questions first!
Kakyuu: I think...Sir Haruka
should answer them first!
Haruka: I shall do it single
handedly! Ill make a fake to the northeast and--
Usagi:
Just answer the questions! We will stay here and pray. Puu be
with you.
Haruka: I understand, Odango-chan.
Zirconia:
STOP! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these
questions three. Dare the other side he see.
Zircon: *flap
flap*
Haruka: Ask me the questions, bridge keeper! I am
not afraid!
Zirconia: What is your name?
Haruka: My
name is Sir Haruka of the Outer Senshi!
Zirconia: What is
your quest?
Haruka: To find the Seihai.
Zirconia: What
is your favorite color?
Haruka: Gold.
Zirconia: Right!
Off you go.
Zircon: *flap flap*
Haruka: Oh. Thank you!
Thank you very much!
[She walks over the Bridge of
Death and disappears.]
Kakyuu: Thats easy!
Zirconia: STOP! Who would cross the bridge of death must
answer me these questions three. Dare the other side he see.
Kakyuu: I am not afraid!
Zirconia: What is your name?
Kakyuu: Sir Kakyuu of...well...just Sir Kakyuu.
Zirconia: What is your quest?
Kakyuu: To find the
Seihai.
Zirconia: What...is the capital of Assyria?
Kakyuu: I dont know that! Aaaahh!!
[She is
launched over the side and into the Pit of Many Perils. Zircon
watches her go over the edge and continues flapping.]
Zirconia: STOP! Who would cross the bridge of death
must answer me these questions three. Dare the other side he
see. WHAT...is your name?
Ami: Sir Ami of the Inner
Senshi!
Zirconia: What is your quest?
Ami: I seek the
Seihai!
Zirconia: What is your favorite color?
Ami:
Yellow! No, bluuuuuueeeeeeeeeee!
[She is also hurled
into the Pit of Many Perils.]
Zirconia: STOP! What is
your name?
Usagi: I am Usagi, from Tokyo! The future
Neo-Queen Serenity! Holder of deadly sticks! The Messiah of
Light!
Zirconia: What is your quest?
Usagi: To seek
the Seihai!
Zirconia: WHAT...is the air speed velocity of
an unladen monster of the day?
Usagi: A daimon or a
lemure?
Zirconia: I...I dont know!
[She is
launched over the side. Zircon just watches and continues
flapping as its master is hurled to her death.]
Minako: How do you know so much about swallows?
Usagi: Well, royalty just has to know this kind of stuff.
[They continue to cross the bridge. There will now be
a short intermission. Please refresh your sodas and make use
of your local restroom at this time.]
.
.
.
[The intermission is now over. I hope you used your
time wisely. *ahem* Anyway. Usagi and Minako get across the
bridge and cant find Haruka.]
Usagi: Haruka-san!
Minako: HARUKA-SAN! Hello? Anyone out there? Haruka-san?
[Haruka is seen on the side of a police car and Umino
is putting hand cuffs on her.]
Usagi: Haruka-san!?
Voice: Usa-ee!
Usagi: Nani?? That sounded like
Rei-chan!
Minako: But shes back with the other horses, it
cant be her!
Usagi: Oh, right.
[They follow the
voice to a lake where the freaky boat from the SuperS movie
waits for them. They board the ship and land on an island
where the Castle of Uuuuuggggghhhhh awaits them.]
Usagi: Puu be praised! Our quest is over!
Minako:
We dont HAVE the Seihai yet, so its not OVER! Duh.
Usagi:
Right.
[They both kneel.]
Usagi: Oh my mighty
Puu, we thank thee, for thou has not forsaken us the most---
[A catapult noise is heard.]
Usagi: JESUS
CHRIST!
Mistress 9: HERRO! Firthy Engrish senshi and
firthy Engrish purinsesu who wears the fuku of a duck, you
know. SO! We Japanese witches outwit you a second time!
Usagi: How the heck did you get here?
Mistress 9: We
have frequent flyer mires on Derta! Besides, I have to make a
rast appearance! This is Monty _MISTRESS 9_ and the Holy
Grail, is it not?
Usagi: Right! But...I came all the way
only to find you here, and now you wont give the Seihai to me,
right?
Mistress 9: Correct, rabbit! Biidddaaaa!
[She sticks her tongue out at Usagi.]
Usagi:
Fine. Lets go, Minako-chan.
[They leave and reach the
other shore, then turn back around.]
Usagi: CHARGE!
Minako: Right!
[A whole army of youmas and the
like start to run forward behind Usagi and Minako. They almost
reach the road when a S.W.A.T. car and several police cars
show up. Kaolinite runs out of a police car.]
Kaolinite: Thats her! Thats her!
[Umino and
Naru arrest the two very confused Senshi.]
Usagi: But
what about the Seihai? Our quest?
Minako: This was NOT in
the script! Why are you doing this!?
[Everyone holds
the money Mistress 9 gave them to arrest the Senshi.]
Usagi: Oh well, isnt this a fine lot?
[End
credits start to roll.]
Usagi: Well, thats all for
today!
[Umino closes the jail cell door.]
Minako: Hey, Umino-san! The show is over! You can let
us out now!
[Umino leaves Usagi and Minako alone in
the cell.]
Usagi: UMINO-SAN! NARU-CHAN! ANYBODY!? GET
US OUT OF HERE!
The End. Huzzah.
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