Walkin' On Water
A/N: This is not meant to be taken seriously, not at all. I apologize for the blasphemy through it all, but this was inspired by a friend telling me that Jetfire's VA, Scott McNeil, was Jesus' VA in another show, so I had to do this.
"Hey, kids, come and see this!" it was the voice of the cockiest Autobot that the humans had ever met, and they obligingly trooped to the command center. Looking around, they didn't spot Jetfire, and Alexis cleared her throat.
"Jetfire, where are you?" she called, and Billy snorted from behind her.
"It's obvious that he's hiding, Alexis," the boy had never lost his arrogance, though it had lessened, and Alexis frowned at him unhappily. "It's just a question of where he's hiding..."
"Get it together Billy," Carlos shot back, defending his friend. "How could a giant alien robot hide in a big room like this? He'd be seen from everywhere, with those wings of his. Dios mio, all of you, just look around..."
"What if Megatron took him!" Fred cried, scarfing down some chips. "We may never see him again!" he paused at the incredulous looks on everyones' faces, and sank down. "Well, it could happen!"
"No, Jetfire's too good for that," Rad reflected, and his eyes widened. "What if he just upped and left, and wanted us to watch him kill Optimus? We all know that he likes fighting, what if he decided that he loved it more than peace?!"
"All of you, stop it!" Alexis cried, forever the voice of reason. "Think of the stupid things you all are saying! Hiding? Captured by Megatron? Defecting? You're all being stupid!" she shook her head, peeved. "No, it's obvious he wants us to watch something, but I... don't know what..."
"Oh, look, Alexis doesn't know something!" Billy teased, and all of the boys in the room laughed. The brunette was about to hit them all, but there was a rather annoyed cough. "Hey, what was that?"
"Are you all done so you can focus on me?" Jetfire asked, annoyed, and the kids all looked around. "Center monitor, smart ones," the kids looked towards the said monitor and stared in shock.
"Jetfire..." Billy started, and the image looked pleased, standing straighter and with his hands on his hips.
"Yea kid?" the shuttle asked cheerfully, and Rad pointed at Jetfire's feet.
"You're walking on..." he trailed off, too stunned to speak. Carlos picked up the train of thought, though he had a grin on his face.
"Water! But dude, why?" he asked, and Jetfire folded his arms regally. "Come on man, spill! What's the deal?"
"You all remember that story about that Jesus character, right?" Jetfire asked, and they all nodded. "Well, I got to wondering what made him so great, yannow? Then I started reading the Bible online, and I saw that this Jesus walked on water. So I said, 'Hey! I can do that!', and here I am!"
The kids stared at him as he began to walk, using his thrusters to keep him above the water but on it, and shook their heads. "Jetfire, this is blasphemy on so many levels," Alexis said, trying to hide her amusement. Fred was already in hysterics, and the shuttle beamed proudly, not that it could be seen.
"I know, but I'm better than Jesus! I can walk on water, AND I can fight! Oh yea, you don't get much better than me..." he trailed off as he noticed another mech behind the kids and smiled sheepishly. "I'm coming right back in, sir," he saluted and initiated his warp.
"Honestly, what am I going to do with him?" Optimus asked the kids, humoring them, and they all looked at each other. "He openly blasphemes human culture, he disobeys my orders, and he's a reckless aft."
"You could just admit that I'm Jesus and get it over with," Jetfire teased, a devilish light coming into his optics. "Maybe you should start saying THAT at night!"
And so the day ended with Jetfire holding his helm, and the kids laughing at Optimus' annoyed stance.
"Hey, you hit Jesus! You blasphemer!"
Well, not quite.