The dark. When you're a child, you often fear it. Sometimes, when you are an adult, the same thing can happen. I don't know the exact time or place it happens, I can't really remember back that far, but I know it did. Sometimes, though, I wonder.
Playground, school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Jack is here with me tonight. I wasn't sure he would be. I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to be alone. I'm rarely sure of what I want. It's only been a single day. One night has come through since she left my life.
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello?
Jack's so much more needy tonight then normal. Trying to cheer Gwen up; Gwen who rests in the arms of Rhys tonight. I sigh deeply as his lips explore and touch my body in the dark, in the comfort. In the comfort of not having to look at me while he bites back his tears.
I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello
The dark can be comforting sometimes. A place where no one can see you or only sees what you choose them to see. That makes the dark dangerous and twisted. Maybe we still fear it as adults? Maybe for different reasons.
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
His lips, they touch me. They make sure that I am tangible and his. The moon comes in through the blinds, dusting our bodies in its eerie glow. I shut my eyes briefly, one tear wrestling its way to my pillow. I try watching his lips move every which way. It's not working.
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello?
That picture is still there. I may never have the courage to put it away. For most of our lives and our jobs, there is no documentation. The hazard, the high risk of it all won't allow for it. But Torchwood Three was never known for following the rules, was it?
I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry
I reach out in the middle of Jack's crescendo at the picture. I'm tempted to turn the light on and look at it. Wishing and praying that she could for once have felt what I feel with Jack. Whatever it is beyond the touching and kissing that we have.
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello
We were happy that day. I remember it vividly. The very day before Owen was killed, the first time, Gwen takes us to a football match. I remember having to sit next to Jack a row down from Gwen, Owen, and Tosh to keep him in check. The players were very attractive, that was their reasoning. I smiled, remembering the lie and the thought behind it. They thought they were giving us a first date.
I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday
They took this picture shortly after we appeared on the big screen, just under a group of painted boys proclaiming their love for Manchester United. We all had a good laugh and went out afterwards for drinks.
I don't turn the light on because I can still see it in my mind's eye. A hot dog in Owen's hand. Gwen's yellow scarf with red fringe. Jack in the over sized novelty team sweater. Tosh waving her little pennant. And me.
My hand brushes the frame and then there was Jack, bringing me back. I feel as though I rise inches off the bed, moved by his pure lust. My white sheets glow in the darkness, his skin with sweat.
And suddenly I know I'm not sleeping. That somehow, we are still here. All that's left of yesterday. And all that will be when the darkness ends tomorrow.
Creator's Note: Evanescence owns the song. TW staff owns the characters. I kind of own the blending cause I don't think anyone else has thought of it (although I could be wrong about that, it's a big fanfic world). If you listen to it, you can almost hear Ianto talking over the sound of piano and violins in the breaks. It just went. I know I promised no more dwelling on Exit Wounds, but with material and muses like these, who can resist? It all started with one word. Dark. Take that, tamingthemuse prompt!