Chapter One



'We hereby announce Ash Ketchum as the world's greatest pokémon master! Yes, Ash caught all two hundred and fifty one pokémon - or whatever the total is by this time - AND defeated every gym leader in every town in every country (or he just made them feel sorry for him and they gave away their badges)! In fact, I think we should just announce Ash Ketchum as King Of The Pokémon World! We love him sooo much! Oh look, and here's Ash's fanclub to help congratulate our beloved hero..'

Ash was lucky Psyduck didn't know how to use its psychic powers. I mean, seriously, imagine if it could actually do something with those powers it was meant to have, and like.. read his mind or something. If Misty found out Ash dreamt about himself being King Of The Pokémon World every night, well who knows what she'd do. Then again, we probably don't want to know why Misty was wondering what he was dreaming about anyway.

Now's about the time when something should actually happen, so along walked Jigglypuff. It glanced around at the sleeping trio and scratched its head (well, technically its body.. it doesn't really have much of a head when you think about it). This lot normally fell asleep after it sang. Still, nothing could be more fun than seeking revenge on them anyway, so it took the lid of its "microphone" and started drawing on the nearest human's face. It happened to be Ash's.

'Woah, woah what's going on?' Ash murmured. 'I'm meant to be the one doing the autographs.. hang on, this isn't Indigo Plateau! Where am I? AAHHHH it's Jigglypuff!'

Ash suddenly stood up, complete with that little springy sound they use in anime when people move suddenly. He straightened his hat (he wears it to bed), then realised he had texta all over his face and decided to concentrate on wiping it off instead.

'What's going on here?' Brock asked, annoyed to be woken up from his dream of being married to Officer Jenny (he wasn't even sure which one).

'It's Jigglypuff!' said Ash observantly, pointing at the big pink blobby thing.

'Jiggly!' added Jigglypuff. It took a deep breath.

'Noo don't sing Jigglypuff!' yelled Ash.

'You know what, Ash?' said Brock thoughtfully. 'I just thought of something. Why don't we ever just get our pokémon to battle Jigglypuff whenever it starts to sing? I mean, our pokémon should be at high levels by now, they should be able to handle it easily.'

'Ash's pokémon aren't at high levels,' said Misty, sitting up. 'Don't you remember, Brock? It's that psychological disorder he's got.. he can't handle high level pokémon and whenever his pokémon actually get to high levels he has to find some way of giving them away..'

'Oh, that's right,' said Brock, nodding. 'But when you think about it, it makes sense. The lower level his pokémon are, the more likely he is to lose at the Johto League, thus prolonging the length of the series.'

'Oh, of course!' said Misty. 'What I don't understand, though, is how none of us seem to get any older, even though Ash clearly stated that a year passed from when he left home to when he returned to Viridian City....'

It's amazing how in anime, two characters can start having a conversation during the middle of some kind of threat to their health, pride or sleep patterns.. and the threat just magically sits there and waits for them to finish. I mean, what the hell was that all about in Digimon when ExVeemon and Davis were having that big emotional talk to Stingmon and Ken, and Okuwamon was just patiently waiting for them to DNA Digivolve instead of destroying them!? But Jigglypuff just doesn't stand for that.

'PUFF!'

'Oh that's right, we were going to battle Jigglypuff,' said Ash. 'Go Pikachu!'

'No way,' breathed Brock. 'I was seriously expecting Noctowl to get some screen time.. oh well.'

'Pikachu, thunderbolt now!' said Ash.

'Pika pika chuuuuu!'

Of course it wouldn't have mattered which electric attack Ash ordered his pokémon to use, since they all look exactly the same and seem to do the same amount of damage, but "thunderbolt" has the catchiest title.

'Jiggly!' Jigglypuff exclaimed. With that, it fell to the ground.

'Hey, I know!' said Misty, stepping forward. 'Pokéball go!'

'Hey that's not fair!' Ash moaned. 'I was the one that weakened it!'

Misty's pokéball hit Jigglypuff, and it was sucked inside. Then, however, the pokéball broke open and Jigglypuff re-emerged, angrier than ever.

'I just realised why we always run away..' said Brock, seeing the menacing look on the little pokémon's face.

'PUUUUFF!' it said angrily, blowing itself up. Er, but not like it was exploding, like it was expanding. Like blowing a balloon up, not like blowing a bomb up, get it? OK, moving along..

'Piiika?' Pikachu asked, confused.

'Puff!' said Jigglypuff, and started using its doubleslap on, strangely, everyone.

'AAAHHHHHH!!!!' they all screamed, and promptly ran.

Little did they know, however, that they had left their backpacks behind (of course, they'll probably have them back in the next scene, but that's not the point)...