Life hasn't always been this hard. I remember a time when all I cared about was where my damn brother was hiding. He has always been better than me at hide and seek, both in the hiding and seeking part. I remember when the only reason I couldn't sleep was because I couldn't wait till the morning to open all the presents perched underneath the giant christmas tree, when the worst pain I felt was from a scrape I've just gotten on my knee after falling down from running around with not so much as an inkling of care about was happening around me. Life was so much easier back then, no worries, no troubles. I wonder why I was very eager to grow up. It is not at all as fun as I thought it would be. I envy the little kids I see around me, their faces free from all the creases born from all the stress and anxiety, their innocence and obliviousness shielding them from the harsh reality of the world. Ignorance is bliss as they say.
Maybe that's why I don't like them as much. Kids irritate me for some reason, maybe now I know why. Why did I even agree with Quinn to drag me in here? I figured it's because I'm a pretty awesome friend who would give a friend support even if that means I had to follow her to the least appealing place, a kindergarten. She wanted to do a paper for some social issue on something, I lost interest while she was explaining. While she's inside interviewing the head teacher of some sort, she left me outside by the waiting area where a bunch of kids are also waiting for their parents to pick them up. If there was a way of torturing me, this was it.
"Why are your eyebrows scrunched up together?"
Reality sinks back in as a bubbly voice interrupts my train of thought. I tilt my head up to see an expectant face of a little girl looking at me. Her dirty blonde hair is kept neatly with pigtails sticking out from both sides of her head. She has her hands clasped behind her back as she impatiently waits for my reply, bouncing up and down on the tip of her toes.
"I was just thinking about something." I finally manage to reply.
I purposely use a dismissive tone in my voice, trying to avoid further prying from the child. Another reason I dislike kids is their never-ending questions. I understand it is vital for their growth to fill their curiosity, but I never signed up for that job.
The girl's eyes seem to grow more confused as she takes in my answer.
"I think about things all the time, but I never have my eyebrows scrunched up as closely like that." She immediately shots back with pure confidence as she points a finger at my forehead. I might have been furrowing my eyebrows still. A deep sigh escapes my mouth as I realize this little girl is one of those kids who seems to never be satisfied with just one answer, I am in for a long ride.
"Well maybe because we think about different things." My patience was growing thinner by the second, but I know I can't lash out on her. She's just a curious little mind, she doesn't deserve to be on the receiving end of my vicious, vicious words, as people have said. And so I hold back, just hoping my answers bore this pig-tailed bumblebee and she'd leave me alone. She's smiling now though, for god knows why.
"What were you thinking about then?" She exclaims rather too enthusiastically, her smile broadening by the second.
'Look little bird, I've no time for your 20 questions, so why don't you just skip your pig-tailed ass back to you mothers cave, and try to be a better asset to this place we call earth by never uttering a word to me again.' I can't let my temper run off, not right now, and so I hold myself back from uttering the words I would have said from the start if it would have been someone else in front of me. Someone older and with less hypnotizing eyes. Instead I patiently answer the girl again.
"Adult stuff." I decide to just answer as nonchalantly, showing no interest. Maybe that'll turn her off.
"Oh.." The little girl's brows arch upward, creasing her forehead.
"My sister says adults think about stuff I wouldn't understand yet so I shouldn't try to find out what they're thinking about."
I was about to say something before she stopped me and continued with her short babbling.
"She told me that when I was wondering what mom and dad were shouting about. I don't like it when they're shouting.", she finishes off with a pout.
I immediately felt bad for this little girl. It wasn't long ago that I went through the same thing. My parents started to have conversations with voice raised higher than usual, next thing I know, I was switching between houses every other week. I didn't get a breakdown over it. I was just 12, but divorce wasn't something new to me. A couple of my friends parents were already going through it, and I've had an idea what it was all about by how much they talk about it. At the time I thought it was gonna be fun, two sets of gifts, two parents giving you money, it was bittersweet. It wasn't at all like that though. Everything was just so sad and depressing. It was a year later that things started to pick up. My dad found a girlfriend, and even though I was a little bit jealous, I liked seeing him happy again. Same thing with my mom. Again, it was bittersweet.
I looked at the little girl with my eyes filled with sympathy now rather than annoyance from a few seconds ago.
"Well you're sister's right you know. Don't think too much about it, just remember it's never your fault." Instantly she smiled up at me.
"That's what Britty says too!" This time she was grinning so wide, it was infectious and I couldn't help but smile back.
"Bree.." A soft call made the little girl turn around on the spot. I automatically followed her view.
"Britty!" She exclaimed enthusiastically. The girl who called for her stood just a few feet away. She was so…bright. Everything about her just shined. With her blonde hair swaying by her shoulders, she approached me and, I'm assuming, Bree. Her bright smile never faltering. Before she could take the last step towards us, Bree jumped on her with a loud squeal.
"Whoah Breezy, slow down. Why are you so excited, I just saw you this morning?"
I couldn't help myself but smile at the cuteness in front of me, but immediately berated myself for thinking so. I don't like kids and cute things, I reminded myself.
The bright girl looked over Bree's shoulder and straight at me. She seemed to now be aware of my existence. As she was dislodging Bree from her, she gave me an apologetic smile.
"I'm sorry, did Bree here bother you?" I couldn't answer right away with those piercing blue eyes staring right back at me. It was so easy to get lost into and I found myself doing just that. She subtly cleared her throat and just like that the spell was broken. I immediately looked away and realized that she must have noticed that I was staring. I hope my being of hispanic descent was put to good use in hiding the blush I was sporting. I cleared my throat as well before finally deciding to answer her question.
"No, it was alright." I looked at Bree and saw her smiling brightly at me. They're definitely sisters.
A soft chuckle ringed through my ears and I looked back up to the taller blonde. Her smile was wider now, and that paired with the chuckle was enough to make me feel all tingly inside.
"Well I hope she wasn't too much trouble." She turned to Bree before she continued, "Ready to go Bree?"
"Yup." She nodded her head fervently.
They both gave me a soft smile before turning away and leaving. They were a feet away from the door when Bree turned back around and ran back to me. She leaned onto me and stood on her tiptoes to get to head level with me. I realized that wasn't enough so I crouched down so she could whisper to my ear.
"You look prettier when you don't have your brows scrunched up together.", And with that she ran away. I saw her tugging on her older sister's hands, and just like that they were out of sight. Just like that, being surrounded by little bouncy devils wasn't half as bad anymore.