This was an entirely pointless fluff piece that went nowhere, but I enjoyed writing it anyway.

Sometimes, he can be boring. Very boring. Just like now, as he raves on and on about Fairy Tail's apparent fiscal crisis.

"I mean, we can't have all of Fairy Tail's strongest members just up and leave every single time we find someone strong to fight. Destroying entire towns costs us way too much, and not just in terms of physical compensation. There's also the time we need to dispense into relocating all the now homeless residents, and then getting everything back into lawful order while also staving off the thieves and bandits looking to take advantage of the situation. And while we're all off fixing the mess we made, the weaker members are left alone here, and even though they do take quests, they usually don't go so far as to take the more dangerous, higher class quests with higher rewards! And not to mention the-" he continues to ramble, clearly exasperated, as he begins to gesticulate wildly.

"Calm down." She takes his hand, entwining his fingers with hers. "It's not as bad as you think," she says, looking into his green eyes.

Except it is. It's definitely as bad as he thinks. The guild had been increasingly in debt since its reopening after the temporary disbanding seven years ago. And Mest would absolutely know how bad the debt crisis was, since he took over the responsibility of accounting and financing when he realized that literally no one gave even the slightest fuck about anything other than fighting, their significant others, or fighting their significant others, which had happened on more than one occasion.

And Wendy would absolutely know that Mest would absolutely know, considering she's been dating him for the past three years. But she's loathe to agree with him. Simply because...

...destroying towns is kind of fun. It gives her a bit of a thrill every time she winds up accidentally knocking over a building. And everyone in the guild reaches an immediate state of catharsis the moment an entire town collapses into a cloud of dust and smoke, as horrible as it sounds.

Not to mention the fact that Wendy knows, for sure, that Mest secretly enjoys destroying towns too. Only because he can briefly revive his old role as councilman by setting up a temporary government there, while also being in charge of the reconstruction units.

So she repeats to him, "It's not as bad as you think," as she leans up to land a peck on his cheek.

Feeling the slight pressure of her lips, he immediately unstiffens. He leans his back onto the table, thankful that he's sitting down. Even after years of dating her, his legs still wobble a bit every time she initiates any form of intimate contact.

"Feeling better?" She breathes lightly into his ear, chest lightly pushing against his side.

He can feel his cheeks burning up. Even though she's nearly twenty-one, her breasts haven't grown out too big, at least not in comparison to the likes of Erza and Lucy (although, realistically speaking, their breast sizes are ridiculous). Still, she's his girlfriend, and he would be lying if he said he weren't attracted to her in every possible way.

"Mest?" She looks up at him with her big eyes, and he has to resist the urge to just hold on to her and never let go. Although he does kind of suck at resisting that urge, considering it resurfaces at least seven times a day, every day.

Instead he just swallows, awkwardly sliding his arms around her waist. "Yeah, I'm definitely feeling better now. Thanks."

She giggles and he looks away in embarrassment, fixing his eyes on Mirajane cleaning the bar, Gajeel teasing Levy, Natsu teasing Lucy, Evergreen teasing Elfman...literally anyone else but his cute girlfriend because he might melt into a puddle at her feet if he does otherwise.

"Mest?"

Oh look. Haha. Gajeel's holding a book high over Levy's head and she's jumping up for it.

"Mest."

Wow, is that Natsu? Look at him over there, not getting that Lucy's asking him out on a date, even though they've been married for nearly five years. Wow. Haha. Would you look at that?"

"Mest!"

And what is Elfman doing over there? Flexing. Wow, that's a sight anyone definitely needs to see, isn't it?

Suddenly, he feels something moist sliding along his jawline. His eyes travel downwards, and he's surprised to meet, Wendy (?!) kissing and tracing the line of his jaw.

"Wendy? W-What are y-you doing?" he stammers out. She only pouts in response.

"You're not paying any attention to me," she says, cheeks indignantly puffed.

"Well, I am now-!"

She quickly leans into him, her mouth greedily searching for his. She softly bites his lower lip, eliciting a quiet moan from him. And then she darts her tongue between his parted lips, exploring the walls of his oral cavern. He moans again, this time louder. Encouraged by his responses, his girlfriend then begins feeling along his chest, her fingers sending him bursts of electric shock through his thin shirt.

He has to force himself to part lips with her. "S-Stop."

"Why?" She's panting now, hot breaths landing on his chin.

"Everyone's watching." He tilts his head in the general direction of the rest of the guild. Which is, for once, silent. Sure enough, they were watching. In fact, they had been watching.

But against his expectations, Wendy is entirely undeterred. "Hmph!" She stands up abruptly, dragging him by the collar into the nearest closet. The second they enter, she blasts a puff of air into door, effectively shutting it.

"Now, where were we?"