"You've gotta be excited, right?"

She rolled her eyes at his enthusiasm and couldn't help but smile. He was always like this- so excited, so passionate, so bright. He was walking backwards towards the cafeteria and he spoke animatedly, hands flying up and out and hitting the sides of the narrow hallway.

"I can't believe me and Davy got picked to be the landing party!" he said, grinning, whistling a short, happy tune. "I'm gonna be the first person to breathe fresh air!" She had to laugh at that.

"What's wrong about the air here?" she asked. "The simulation's not that bad." He shrugged and narrowly missed hitting his hip on a small table. He stumbled and she reached out to grab his arm. "Chris, honestly, stop it, you're gonna hurt yourself!" He laughed as he pulled himself up, effectively pulling her closer to him.

"Hey, maybe I just did it on purpose, you know?" he whispered huskily, his arms winding around her waist. She hit his chest and tried to squirm out of his grip, blushing furiously. He laughed, leaning close and pressing his face to her hair. He took a deep breath. "Hey, Jenny, you smell like apples," he murmured in her ear before pulling back and stealing a kiss. He winked before running away, whooping and laughing. She stood frozen, feeling her stomach twist into knots.

"Chris! Chris, get back here!" she yelled, running after him, a grin on her face. Soon, the hallway widened into the Centre Hall and she slowed down when she saw Davy grab Chris by the back of his shirt, giving his old friend an exasperated look.

"You guys look like you're having fun," he said, raising a brow. Chris glanced at Emma's barely noticeable baby bump and grinned wickedly.

"Looks like you had fun-"

"You finish that sentence and I swear, Chris Hewitt!" Jenny said, mortified. He only laughed and pushed himself from Davy, who looked part embarrassed and angry.

"Sorry, sorry, I couldn't help myself," he said cheekily. "It was begging to be said." Jenny rolled her eyes and whacked him on the head.

"And you're begging to sleep on the couch tonight," she replied. His smile disappeared.

"You can't do that!" he exclaimed, pouting. "We're newlyweds-" Davy snorted.

"You've been newlyweds for a month, Chris," he said. "Come off it."

"Well!" he said, feigning an insulted look. He turned to Jenny and wrapped his arms around her waist, placing a kiss on her cheek. "Don't worry, I've talked with Aaron- I'm planning for us to get married again when we finally land." He caught Davy's gaze and smirked. "So there." Jenny gasped at his news and her eyes flew to his.

"What-?" she asked, before she was silenced with a soft peck on the lips.

"I want us to be the first people married in the New World," he whispered on her lips. "Wouldn't that be something?" She pulled away, a smile tugging at her lips.

"We're already married- it's fine," she said. He shrugged.

"I've seen those films where they have those big, fancy weddings," he said. "I want you to walk down the aisle, with everyone watching…and I want every single, hot-blooded male envious because I have you." She laughed.

"Chris Hewitt, you're really something."

"If I had known we'd be leaving now, I would have declined," Davy said, frowning, adjusting the cuffs on his shirt nervously. Everything was ready and from the corner of his eye he could see Chris and Jenny whispering words of comfort and promise, stuck in their happy bubble. He turned back to Emma and she gave him a smile.

"It's okay, Davy," she said, patting her stomach. "It's only for three months." He sighed, cupping her face in his hands and giving her a lingering kiss.

"Wait for me."

"Of course."

Everything was going wrong. The compactness of the scout ship proved to be dangerous as they headed towards the New World's atmosphere. Almost immediately, he could feel himself losing control of the ship.

"Chris!" he yelled, scared to take his eyes away from the screen. "Chris, you alright?" He heard his friend shuffling towards the front and then suddenly Chris was next to him, swearing under his breath and looking over the controls.

"Davy, I'm gonna have to go at the back," he said, his wide eyes betraying his fear. "There's something wrong with the engine." He unbuckled himself from the seat hurriedly. He stood up just as the ship lurched – it staggered against the friction of the atmosphere. Chris was hurled against the side of the ship without warning, the scream never leaving his throat.

"Chris!" Davy yelled, letting go of the controls for a second to reach for his friend. The ship lurched again and he was jarred towards the front of the ship, his seatbelt the only thing keeping him in place. He felt panic well up in his chest, so tight he felt like he was going to burst. He grabbed the controls and tried to pull but the engine was dead. They were falling towards the ground with nothing to soften the blow, and at the rate they were going-

No simulation could have prepared him for this.

Still, he leaned down and his hands fumbled to press the emergency power, watching as the lights flickered on and off in the controls. He took deep, calming breaths. He could do this. If he timed it right, he could minimise the damage when they landed. How? His mind traitorously asked. He pushed the thought aside. He had to think clearly. The ground came closer and closer. He steeled himself, and just before they were about to crash, he pulled the steering wheel up-

But it was too fast, everything was happening too fast- they crashed, the ship rolling and bumping against the ground, rattling everything inside. Distantly, he heard crashes and the sound of metal against metal and he feared the worst. He squeezed his eyes shut as his head was mercilessly jerked to the right and he was screaming- the pain on the side of his head was so extreme that his vision blacked out for a few moments. He could feel the ship start to slow down and his hands fell away from the controls.

Everything was quiet except for his ragged breathing.

He groaned when he felt blood rushing in his head and immediately, he realised that the ship had overturned. He fumbled with the seat belt and he landed on the ground with a thud, finding the energy to twist himself just in time so he didn't hit his head. He clutched his throbbing head and he felt something sticky in his hands. He brought his hand down and found blood. He screamed.

He could do this, he could do this…He shut his eyes and tried to think. In his mind, he saw his Emma, giving him her small smile as she waved him off. He opened his eyes and tried to push himself to his feet. He stumbled and the rush at his head had his vision blacking out for a few moments, but he steadied himself and waited until he could finally look around him.

It was surreal. Everything seemed to have come loose and scattered around the battered ship. The big metal shelves that contained monitors and other machinery looked like they had been ripped from their bolts. The windows of the ship had all shattered, and broken glass glittered around him, all sharp edges and reflecting light. He searched for any sign of Chris and his breath left him as he saw a flash of blond hair under one of the heavy metal shelves.

No.

He stumbled towards his friend, sobs escaping from his trembling mouth. He stared at his friend and the sheer amount of blood that leaked from the back of his head, staining what would have been the roof of the ship red.

"Chris," he said hysterically. "Chris, don't do this to me, you piece of-" he choked and tried to pull back the shelf that had fallen on top of him, grunting from the pain that shot up his arm. "Chris, dammit, open your eyes!" He saw Chris's hand twitch and he worked faster, trying to get him out from under the heavy metal shelves that had come undone. Even in his state, Chris found enough energy to swear.

"Dave, stop," he said, gasping. One of his eyes was closed and bloody, and he realised that a stray piece of shrapnel must have hit his eye during the collision. "Dave, I think I'm going to die."

"No, no," Davy said, gripping the metal shelf that wouldn't budge. "No, dammit, Chris, you can't die on me!" He tried to lift it again. And again. And again.

"Davy, I don't wanna die." Blood leaked out of his injured eye. Chris was crying. "I don't wanna die."

"I won't let you die, don't you worry," Davy said, pulling the shelf with all his might and finally feeling it move little by little. "You'll have your wedding, you hear? Don't close your eyes, Chris, just keep them open, we-we'll contact the ship and they'll come and-" Chris screamed as soon as he tried to push the metal shelf away.

"No, Davy, stop, I can't- I'm not-" He gave a gurgled noise and Davy stopped, scared that he would hurt his friend more. He didn't know what to do- he only knew first aid but the medical kit was nowhere to be found.

"Tell Jenny…tell her she'll be okay. She can't…She has to be strong. I love her so much, Davy. Tell her that. Keep them safe, Davy." He wanted to refuse, but the reality was sinking in and he found himself nodding. Chris attempted another smile before he closed his eyes.

Davy waited, but Chris did not take another breath. A scream tore from his throat and he cried.

No one heard.

He didn't know how long he stayed inside the ship, crying, but when he was strong enough to pull himself together, he heaved the metal shelf and retched at the sight of his friend's corpse. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to steel himself, damn it, he's not a kid anymore, and he owed it to Chris to have a proper burial. He managed to carry Chris out of the ship, his blood staining his hands, his shirt, his hair. He looked around, wishing he could appreciate this world. Finding the closest tree, he set to work, digging with his bare hands until late into the night. His hands shook the entire time.

It's my fault it's my fault it's my fault

He thought he was going mad when he heard those words, his thoughts that he did not speak, and he lay next to the grave, his breathing ragged and shallow. It was the same words, over and over again. He waited for Death, but Death did not come. The first rays of sunlight saw the blood that stained his hands seep into his skin. His eyes looked up, and he faintly realised that he was looking at the sky. The word sounded bitter on his lips.

He did not want to see the sky. He wanted to die.

She knew. She knew what happened as soon as Davy reported back to the ship, his voice crackling and thick. And now, as she waited with bated breath for the ship to land, all the emotions she had been hiding were slowly being peeled away, and she wasn't sure if she could do it, if she could go and live in the world where Chris died. She had kept to herself for the remaining journey, bottling her emotions, pushing his death away, pretending as if it never existed – as if he was still in the scout ship with Davy and they never touched land. But now…

"Jenny."

She turned and saw Davy walking towards her. He was skinnier, and he couldn't look her in the eyes, and suddenly everything crashed down on her, thoughts so heavy she thought she would drown. Tears ran down her cheeks and she fell to him, her sobs loud and broken, shaking her entire frame. She didn't think – she couldn't think. She could only feel. All the memories, the sound of his voice, his face, his smile, the feeling of his hand on hers, his breath on her cheek. She remembered, and now she couldn't stop.

"This wasn't supposed to happen," she said through gasps and sobs. "Davy, this wasn't supposed to happen. Davy, do something, please-" her voice rose to a scream and she clutched his arms, her nails biting into his skin hard enough to draw blood. He did not wince. He could not wince – his thoughts swirled above his head, loud and threatening, dark and unmerciful. He deserved every pain he felt because it was his fault. He tried not to think, only focusing on the pain.

His Noise stuttered.

Prompt: The settlers' first few steps on New World

Notes: I wrote this originally in 2012, on tumblr, and just recently found it again! Reviews would be appreciated! :)