"I've been here the whole time"
This sentence doesn't work anymore.
Why?
It's simple.
Because he isn't a shadow anymore.
Why?
The answer is obvious.
Because he doesn't play basketball anymore.
Why?
Because he can't.
...
Why?
Why can't he play?
Because...
...
...
...
He
...
...
...
Died.
Yes. You don't need to reread.
You read it right the first time.
Kuroko Tetsuya is dead.
When?Who?How? ... Why?
When?
It was Saturday night; the full moon was huge and beautiful. The clouds were extremely rare. There was only a few. They were too little to obscure the moonlight that illuminate the city of Tokyo.
The clock reads 12h31PM.
It was the end of January 31.
It was the end of Kuroko's birthday.
Who killed him?
Kuroko Tetsuya.
How?
If you read the answer of the question "Who killed him?" And you didn't understand.
Don't worry it's normal.
Because I will explain the meaning in a few seconds.
How Kuroko Tetsuya died? That's an interesting question.
Did he have a car accident? No
Did he have a heart attack? No
Did he have any disease? No
Did someone killed him? No
Did he kill himself?
…
…
…
… Yes
Did he commit suicide?
…
…
…
... Yes
Did he die...alone?
…
…
…
... Yes
Why?
Because he was here the whole time ... but nobody saw him.
Aomine Daiki, Momoi Satsuki, Akashi Seijuro, Murasakibara Atsushi ,Midorima Shintaro, Kise Ryouta, Kagami Taiga and all his friends of Seirin.
They weren't here.
When he was forgotten every single time. Again. Again. And again.
They forgot him.
"Do you want to go to Maji Kuroko?"
Kagami said but they never went. Kagami forgot and accepted to play with Aomine.
"Oha Asa said that tomorrow Cancer and Aquarius were compatible… don't think that I'm saying that because I want to hang out with you or anything."
Midorima said but it seems that that day hang out with Takao was more important. But we already know that nothing is more important that Midorima's horoscope. The only explication possible is that he forgot what he said to Kuroko. He forgot about him.
"Hey! Tetsu! Me and Momoi will come to your house tomorrow."
"Dai-chan! You're rude! So Tetsu-kun if you don't mind can we come tomorrow? "
He waited but Momoi and Aomine never came.
"Tetsuya we will have a game with Seirin tomorrow. Don't be late"
Akashi said.
"If we win you have to give me vanilla candies Kuro-chin"
Murasakibara said.
"Neeee kurokochiiiiii why don't you play with us? Seirin doesn't deserve you! "
Kise said.
"Oy!"
Seirin's players protested.
The day of the match was January 31.
His birthday. He was so happy. It was the first time he will be celebrate his birthday with his friends.
So he came.
But ...
They didn't see him.
Nobody said his name.
Nobody said "where is kuroko/tetsu/tetsu-kun/tetsuya/kuro-chin/kurokochii ? "
They played.
He watched.
He didn't have the chance to say "I've been here the whole time"
Because nobody asked.
We could almost hear the sound of a crack.
The crack of Kuroko's heart.
He can't anymore.
It was his limit.
The feeling of solitude was too strong. The feeling when you're forgotten again again again again and again.
But he stayed.
"Maybe they will remember me" He thought.
But they didn't.
It was 11h45pm when he returned home.
The house was dark and only the sound of Kuroko's "I'm home" was heard.
Nobody answered. Like always the "Welcome back" never came.
The cake was on the table.
The cake that he made for himself.
He knew that even if his friends invited him to play it was only a simple coincidence that it was the day of his birthday.
He knew that they forgot.
He knew.
He knew and it hurt so much.
He made his way to the bathroom and found a razor. It was his father's but he didn't use it anymore because most of the time he wasn't home.
So Kuroko wasn't guilty that he used something that wasn't his.
Anyway it will be the first and last time.
He put the razor on his wrist and a line of red appeared. And the blood began to come out. So much blood. The smell was so strong but he didn't care. Nobody was at home to smell it. He was alone. Like always.
The blood keeps coming out until he fell on his knees. His face was pale and his breathing was extremely slow. His vision began to be blurred. But he didn't know if it was because of the blood lose or because of the tears that began to fall.
He remembered all the promises that he was the only one to remember. He didn't blame them. It was his fault after all. He was the one with a weak presence. It was his fault. Only his. He didn't blame them. He didn't want to blame them. They were his friends and he will always remember them even if they don't. Even if they forget him. Even if he didn't want them to forget him. He didn't want that. He wanted them to remember him. He wanted them to be with him, to play with him, to ...die with him. Die. To die. He was going to die. Without them, without anyone.
He didn't want to die alone. He didn't want that. He didn't.
...
...
...
Suddenly, the silence was the only thing that can be heard in the house.
The sound of sobbing stopped.
The sound of the razor that fell on the ground stopped.
The sound of swallow breathing stopped.
The sound of a body that collide with the floor stopped.
It only means one thing.
Kuroko's heart stopped.
Kuroko is dead.
He's dead.
He died.
Alone.
And his face was full of tears of pain, of desperation and of solitude.
Kuroko Tetsuya
January 31 2015
17 years old
Suicide
"I've been here the whole time" This sentence will not be heard anymore.