A/N: I don't own The Hunger Games or any of the characters just this fic. Enjoy and don't forget to review please.
The Capitol ball was one of the things I was dreading the most while awaiting the Victory tour. I had just arrived and could see President Snow already glaring at me from across the room. I feel a cold shiver run down my spine that has nothing to do with the temperature of the room. I failed to convince President Snow that I was crazy in love with Peeta. And now my life and the lives of those I care about the most are in danger.
"Katniss! Stop looking like a kicked puppy and smile sweetheart!" Haymitch whispers loudly in my ear. I give him an evil glare that makes him grin wide and makes me glare even more.
Smile? Yes of course! Why not?! I think sarcastically. Now that I know for sure President Snow wasn't convinced of my love for Peeta despite our "engagement" all I want to do now is go home and think of a way to keep the ones I love safe from Snow.
"And for goodness sake stand up straight Katniss!" Effie hisses in my other ear. "The most important people in the Capital are all here to see their favorite star crossed lovers."
I look down unhappily at the frilly orange dress and matching high heels Cinna has put me in. Now I really wish I was home. Deep in the woods of District 12 wearing my favorite boots and my father's hunting jacket . Not here in the Capital surrounded by strange people all trying to catch a glimpse of Peeta and me. The star crossed lovers of District 12. Thinking of home is making me depressed. So I sigh and plaster a fake smile on my face.
"You two should feel honored! President Snow organized this beautiful ball just for you." Effie smiles at Peeta and me.
I turn to see that Peeta is looking at me. He gives me a shy smile and turns beet red. Probably thinking about what Effie did to us this morning.
Peeta and I are fast asleep in my old room in the training center when I feel someone shake me awake. "Katniss? Someone is at the door." Peeta yawns from his side of the bed.
"Katniss?" I hear Effie call in between knocks.
I get up sleepily to open the door. I suppose I should be embarrassed to be caught with Peeta sleeping in my bed but everyone already knows we slept together every night on the train. We didn't do anything but sleep anyway.
I open the door and I'm surprised to see a young woman with bright pink hair, orange skin and a white coat standing next to Effie.
"Effie? What's going on? Who is this?" I don't care if I sound rude.
"Augusta is here to administer your contraceptive shot of course" Effie says as if it should have been obvious.
"My what?!" I almost yell.
Effie lets out an exasperated sigh. "I told you on the train that if you and Peeta insisted on sleeping together every night I would have to do something to keep you from getting pregnant." She exclaims making me turn red. She then glances into my room and sees Peeta getting out my bed wearing only boxers and white t-shirt. "I just hope it's not too late" She laments.
I roll my eyes at her and look over at Peeta who looks more embarrassed than me. He tries to sneak out of my room but is pushed back by Augusta, who I now see is holding a syringe with a clear liquid inside, as she charges into my room.
"Hold still dear it will only take a second." She says as she backs me further into my room.
I'm about to shove her away when Haymitch happens to pass by my room and peeks in. Great. What is he doing up this early anyway? Shouldn't he be in his room nursing his latest hangover?
"Well what do we have here sweetheart?" Haymitch smiles. " You two lovebirds have another passionate night together?" He winks.
I'm about to yell at him when I feel a sharp pain in my arm. "Ahhhh!" I yell rubbing my arm.
"That's a good girl." Augusta chirps in her annoying Capitol accent. "It should last you one year and will start working in a couple of hours. Then you can have all the sex you want." She winks first at me then at Peeta.
I run out of my room as fast as I can. Haymitch's laugh following me out the door.
I shouldn't care that people think I'm having sex with Peeta but a small part of me still does. Maybe it's because I'm still confused about what my feelings are for him. I've allowed him into my bed to comfort me after I've had a nightmare. I hug my middle thinking about how warm his strong arms feel when they embrace me every night. How tightly he holds me when I wake up screaming for him to run.
I'm brought back to the present when I feel Peeta's arm wrap around my waist. Oh right he doesn't know. He thinks we're still trying to convince President Snow we're really in love. "Well that I am." I think sadly.
He pulls me to him tightly. "You look beautiful sweetheart." He whispers in my ear. His warm breath sends shivers down my body. I try to ignore it as best I can as I smirk at him. I know he likes to use Haymitch's annoying endearment for me to make me smile.
The rest of the night is long and boring. Peeta keeps me at his side as much as he can and for that I'm grateful. All these Capitol people disgust me with their surgically altered bodies and unnatural colored hair.
Peeta holds me close as we dance and I try not to think too much about my body's reaction to his proximity. About the shivers running down my spine when he touches me or the strange hunger I feel when he kisses me briefly and the disappointment I feel at it's briefness.
I look up into Peeta's eyes and we don't have to speak to know we're thinking the same thing. Maybe sleeping together was a bad idea. Our bodies are getting too used to each other.
I try to pull away from him slightly and I'm surprised when he stops me. He leans down to whisper in my ear, ticking the hair on my neck in the process. "Please don't pull away from me. This is the only time I get to hold you .Well besides at night but we're both sleeping so that doesn't count." He laughs but his eyes look sad.
I don't know if I love Peeta but I do know I care for him and the last thing I want to do is hurt him.
I open my mouth to say something but he cuts me off with his lips. Maybe it's the confusion or the need to show him that I do care for him but for a moment I forget where I am and allow the hunger to take over. My hands find there way to his hair as he kisses me. I know I'm pulling on his hair too roughly but he says nothing,
We pull apart when we hear a throat being cleared . I see Haymitch smirking at us and people stopping mid dance to gawk affectionately in our direction. I glance at Peeta who's looking at me like he's never seen me before. I'm too embarrassed to do anything but walk out of the ballroom. Pushing an already drunk Haymitch out of my way. How could I allow myself to get carried away like that? I have a death sentence hanging over my head and what do I do? I make out with Peeta like some silly school girl with a crush. No! I can not allow myself to give into my desire. I shake my head to clear my thoughts. Did I really just admit I desire Peeta?
The President's mansion is rather large and extravagant for only one person and his wife. I think about all the people in the Seam that have to live in cramped little house and barely have enough to eat. While here in the Capital they eat until they burst and live in homes too large for their needs.
I've been walking around for quite a while when suddenly I hear someone coming down the hallway. I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to wander about the President's mansion like this, so I duck through the first door I see isn't locked. The room is large from what I can see of it. It's dark and what little light I can make out comes from the moonlight shining through a window that leads to the gardens.
Once safely inside, I crack the door open to see if the person coming down the hallway is gone. That's when I sense someone in the room. I close the door and try to feel for the light switch with no luck.
"Katniss?" A voice in the room calls. His voice sounds familiar but I'm too scared to place it.
"How do you know who I am?" I demand.
The man hesitates for a moment. "Everyone knows who the girl on fire is." He says with a small laugh.
I try to feel for the door. But I'm surprised by how far into the room I am. I must have subconsciously walked toward the voice as I demanded him to tell me how he knew my identity.
Suddenly I feel him grab my arm. Not harshly but with enough confidence that I know I should leave.
"Where are you going in such a hurry? I'm sure you wouldn't mind staying here and entertaining one of your admires."
I'm pretty sure I know what kind of entertainment this man wants. I feel so angry that it makes me brave or maybe stupid. "Admirers?" I spit out.
He loosens his grip on my arm. Perhaps he's as surprised as I am at my courage.
"Yes. I count myself as one of your most faithful admirers. I thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen from the moment I first saw you."
I fight back the bile rising up in my throat at his words. The moment he first saw me? Here in the Capitol that means from the moment he saw me volunteering to fight to the death. That's when I notice something perhaps I was too scared to notice before. He doesn't have the Capitol accent. Or maybe he's hiding it, thinking it will scare me off.
"I should go. Peeta ,my fiancée, is probably worried looking for me." I say as I turn toward what I hope is the door.
The man chuckles and pulls me hard against his chest . "I'm sure Peeta will be fine for a few minutes." He says, his nose in my hair.
I feel alarmed. Not because I'm in the arms of a complete stranger but because I feel too comfortable. There's something familiar about this man. His voice, his scent, the feel of his body against mine. My thoughts are cut off by his mouth kissing my cheek then the side of my neck. I try to protest but all that comes out is a small sigh. No! I scream in my head. This isn't me.
"Relax Katniss. Stop thinking and just do what your body tells you." He whispers huskily in my ear.
I open my mouth to protest when his lips capture mine. I feel his hands on my waist I put my hands up against his chest to push him off but I make little effort. He steps back to look at me and I can just make out the outline of his face. He has a defined jaw line and in the little light shining through the window I notice his eyes could be green or dark blue.
His eyes must be better adjusted to the darkness having been in the room longer than I have. I feel him caress my face with a gentleness I was not expecting. Perhaps that's why I can't think to move away from him.
"You're so beautiful." He whispers softly. I close my eyes when I feel his lips on mine. He walks me backwards and feel my back touch a wall. His tongue licks my bottom lip pleading for entrance. I part my lips with a sigh and let his tongue feel around my mouth. I sense that familiar hunger low in my belly. I have never been kissed like this before. But then I don't have much to compare it to. My one kiss with Gale felt wrong and with Peeta it was almost always for show. To be honest this kiss almost felt like how it was with Peeta during our time in the cave but more intense.
I might die soon so I might as well give into feelings I will never feel again. My hands instinctively wrap around his waist and pull him closer to me. One of his hands slides from my hip to the edge of my dress. I gasp as I feel his hand touch the bare skin of my leg and go to the back of my knee to wrap my leg around his middle. He moans into my mouth as my center rubs against his growing desire for me. I feel myself getting moist between my legs.
"I want you Katniss." My stranger whispers in his familiar voice. I feel bold enough to reach down and touch his hardness ,eliciting another quiet moan from him. His left hand rests on my ribs before rising to massage my left breast, kneading it like he would bread. He seems to be good at this.
He then trails kisses down my throat and I feel him pull down the left strap of my dress. Cinna told me not to wear a bra with this dress so the action exposes my left breast. He flicks my nipple with his tongue making me throw my head back in pleasure. I couldn't imagine feeling any better when I feel his hand on my stomach. I swallow nervously as I feel his hand slide down and to the edge of my dress again. His fingers tug at the edge of my panties.
"I see my girl on fire is already burning for me." He says as he pushes the thin fabric of my underwear aside. His fingers enter me slowly, feeling around. I gasp when his fingers touch a sensitive spot. He continues to rub me there when he sees how much I'm enjoying it. I'm startled when I find myself imagining Peeta doing this to me. Thinking of Peeta seems to make what I'm doing feel less wrong.
Feeling bold, I continue to stroke him through his pants. His growing hardness encourages me to unbutton his pants and find the zipper pulling it slowly down. I slide my hand in and I feel around finding the top edge of his boxers. My hand goes in and I touch his hard member. He moans as my hand strokes him gently. It feels hard but soft at the same time. " Harder Katniss. Please. Don't worry you won't break it sweetheart."
"Sweetheart?!" My mind screams.
There are only two people that call me that. And one of them is probably passed out drunk somewhere.
"Peeta?!" I yell throwing him off of me. The sharp movement causes me to bump against the wall. I find the light switch I had been searching for when I stumbled into this room.
I hit the lights on harshly. I take a second to absorb the sight of Peeta before me. His blonde hair tousled carelessly and his face flushed. I am momentarily distracted by his heaving chest as he breathes in and out heavily. His eyes are dark with lust as he grins at me not the least bit remorseful at his deception.
"I can't believe you!" I yell.
"Come on Katniss." He pleads. " We both know this would have happened anyway." I almost forget my anger when he smiles at me with such sweetness and just the right amount of shyness.
"No! It wouldn't!" I protest.
Peeta walks slowly toward me. " Admit it Katniss. You liked what we did." He grins.
I slap him hard on his cheek and rush out the door. I find Effie and tell her I want to go back to the training center now, ignoring her questions about the whereabouts of Haymitch and Peeta.
Later that night, I lay awake in my bed thinking about what had just happened between Peeta and me. I close my eyes and can almost feel his strong hands all over my body, his mouth kissing me in places I never thought I would let him kiss. I sigh as I remember him touching my wet folds. His fingers skillfully rubbing against my sensitive bundle of nerves, giving me a pleasure I didn't think existed.
I get up with a groan and walk to the large living area and stop in my tracks when I see Peeta sitting on one of the couches.
"You here to finish me off sweetheart." He jokes. He stares at my arms folded across my chest. I want to glare at him but I can't stop staring at his lips. I shake my head trying to clear my thoughts.
"Are you still mad at me?"
"You could have told me it was you. You made me feel stupid. I shouldn't have let you…" I look away too embarrassed to continue.
"You really didn't know it was me?" He asks suddenly.
"A small part of me wished it was you." I admit. What was the point of lying now? Peeta and I has crossed a line tonight. His raises his eyebrows at me and I feel my face grow hot.
"Look I'm sorry. But when I realized you didn't know who I was…" He pauses for a moment lost in thought. My breathe catches in my thought when I see him lick his lips. Why am I acting like this? I've kissed him a million times before. Even slept in the same bed with him. Everything is different now and there might be no going back. I remind myself.
"You don't know how many times I wished I could kiss and touch you like that." I stiffen when I see Peeta get up from his seat. "That you would let me." He smiles.
He walks toward me slowly not sure if I'm going to run off like I always do. We're silent for a moment before he speaks again. "Well? Say something. Anything." His eyes pleading.
"So are you coming to bed with me or do I have to fight off my nightmares on my own?" I smile wickedly at the look on his face.
He takes my hand and touches his forehead to mine. "Are we just going to sleep or did what happened change all that?"
I glare at him and he laughs. " What? I just think that if Effie went to all that trouble of getting that contraceptive shot for you, we should test it out."
I lean into him and kiss him softly on the lips. When I pull away I look into his eyes which have already turned a darker shade of blue. "We'll see." I tell him as I pull him by the hand into my room and lock the door.