It was the end of July and Kerry was excited to go back to work. She loved her family on set, a close group of actors who where in their seventh and last season of filming their hit show. They had all become good friends, but one person in particular held her heart. Her on screen love interest Tony. From the moment they met, 10 years ago during activist activities, they had gotten along great together. She had felt immensely attracted to him, but he was already married. When the opportunity arose to work together they had both jumped on it. And even though she fell in love with him, she never gave into her feelings. She dated here and there : trying to forget him and ended up getting pregnant. She married the father of her child, even while they didn't love each other. They wanted to be co parents to their baby. She also hoped she would learn to love him over time. They liked each other, but love never materialized. She had always wanted a sibling for her baby and soon they had a boy to follow their baby girl. She was married with kids ...and Tony had gotten a divorce. It had been too late, if only she had waited a few years longer. She knew he loved her, he had always been so open about his adoration for her. But she had made her bed and had to lie in it. She had her kids to raise with a man who she didn't love, but who she cared for and who was being a good father to her kids. Her summer had been great , but now she was glad to be back on set. Even though he was not hers, she couldn't help but be happy to see him again. Her kids usually came to the set with her, but were staying with her parents for the day ,so she was walking to the studio lot alone. He was already waiting for her, like he often was, by the entrance door. She flew in his open arms and he kissed her unashamedly on her lips :" Kerry! ", he exclaimed. She held him tight, he towered over her as always. She grinned up at him and immediatly started teasing him like she always did :"Did you miss me , Mr President?". He coloured a little and laughed :" Starting already ? Yes, ofcourse I missed you, baby". One of the things she liked most about him was how he let her fun personality shine. He never tried to power over her. Never tried to be more important. He always made her feel loved and wanted and special. It made him even more attractive to her. Their embrace got interrupted by Bellamy, who called out :"Kerry, Tony! Hi you guys !!" She started hugging them both after Tony reluctantly let her go. He immediatly hugged Bellamy back, kissed her cheek and Kerry felt a stab of jealousy run through her. Even while being pleased that he only kissed Bellamy' s cheek, while he had kissed her lips. Darby looped an arm around Kerry, and she jumped a little, spooked. The laughter hid Darby's whisper in Kerry's ear: " You know he only loves you, nothing to worry about. ", Darby winked at her and they all walked into the studio. Darby arm in arm with Kerry. They walked into the room where they held the table read. Kerry was sitting between Darby and Tony. Tony kept touching her often and she felt so alive. She couldn't help but enjoy his attention. She moved her chair closer to him and was rewarded by his arm around her shoulders, a kiss on her hair. She was pleased to see they had a love scene in the first season 7 episode already. So that meant she got to kiss him for real tomorrow during filming. They never acted their kisses. There was no way she was going to deprive herself from his amazing mouth...that tongue...he was the best kiss she had ever had, even if it was just during filming. Every time they kissed, it was like she had never been kissed before. He made her heart go wild, her mind shut of , her senses go in overload. When she looked at him he grinned his lopsided smile at her. She grabbed his hand that was on the table and because he still had his other arm around her , he pulled her closer to him. She rested her head against his chest. His heartbeat against her ear. She remembered herself and set up straight. Removed herself slightly from him. His arm fell off her shoulders. Darby, , her best friend, was always there to spur her on or to cover for her when she felt shy. This time was no different, she gave her a quick hug and covered Kerry's emotions. Bellamy, always eager to get Tony' s attention, set on his other side and put her hand on his arm. Tony engaged her in conversation. Kerry sighted rejectedly. Her situation was so messed up. Why couldn't she be happy with her husband? Why couldn't she let go of her feelings for Tony? When did her life become so complicated?
He masked his pain of her rejection by smiling at Bellamy. Why did he feel so cold when he wasn't looking at her? Why did it feel as if his heart would stop when she no longer touched him? Why was she so warm and open, yet so closed off the next second? Why was he so in love with her? A gorgeous woman who had never been his and never would be . Why had he never made his move before she had gotten married? Why could he not move on? He sighted deeply. He knew why he had never made a move. He had still been married . And when he finally told her he was divorced, she had already met her future husband and gotten pregnant. Neither one of them had ever cheated on a partner. He also knew that with Kerry it didn't matter. He would had done anything to have her, but he was afraid she would reject him, or only want him for a few weeks, untill the thrill would be gone. There was no way she loved him the same as he loved her. She was young, beautiful, smart and so talented. She could literally have any man she would ever want, so he didn't believe she would fall in love with him. He knew she loved him, but he was afraid she loved him more like a best friend, like a brother almost.
His hand reached out to the water bottle and as he did so, she happend to reach for it too, their hands touched each other and their eyes met. The blood rushed through his body and for a lingering second he let himself enjoy her fingers touching him, than he withdrew his hand and smiled kindly :" After you, beautiful". She held his eyes while she took the cap of the bottle and took a long sip of the water. He felt himself blush. Why was everything this woman did so sexy and erotic to him? Than she handed him the bottle and purposely held his hand a few seconds before letting go. He saw her knowing smile and he realized she knew exactly the effect she had on him. He bend closer to her and murmured in her ear :" You are a bad girl, Kerry, stop teasing me". He took a long drink while staring at her and he was rewarded by her blushing this time. He felt satisfied , only fair he dished out back what she gave. It was like they where alone in the room, untill Josh, one of the cast members, started talking to him :" Hey, Tony, are you in there, man? Stop drooling over Kerry for a minute and read your line instead, ok?" The whole room burst out in laughter. They all knew he was hopelessly in love with her. He started reading his lines and it was back to business. He did however put his hand on her tigh, and he was pleased that she let him.
It was the next morning and he was a little nervous , but in a good way. He had been laying awake, knowing that today he got to kiss and make out with her. And even if it was only for filming, he always loved it. Any chance to be near her and let himself dream away in thoughts of her being his would do. He walked to her trailer with a big smile on his face. A smile that diminished for a second when he walked in and saw that her husband was there . He immediatly recovered and greeted him pleasantly. Her daughter ran up to him calling out : " Uncle Tony!", she ran in his arms and he flew her high like he knew she loved, he loved playing with her kids and since he was around their mom so much , he also saw her kids a lot. Her younger son wobbled up to him and he grinned while watching that. He was adorable and looked a lot like Kerry. And than Kerry came out of the bathroom and their eyes met. A quick second she was his, than she greeted him while continuing some conversation she obviously had with her husband before he walked in.
Her husband rarely came to the set. She could count it on 1 hand. Yet today, the first time she would get to kiss Tony again in months, he had decided to come watch her . She felt nervous. They made their way to the set before she knew it and the love scene was up first. She knew she had to temper her enthusiasm or it would be painfully obvious that she liked this part of her work too much...with this man anyway. She decided to act like it was her husband opposite of her, that would be perfectly fine she thought. It would be caring, with love, but not her unbridled passion. They started the scene, and after a few lines on both ends she ran in his arms and started kissing him, she felt a shock run through her as always, when their lips met, and she pulled back just a little. She actively started thinking of her husband and she went through the motions. It felt very wrong. Apparently the director thought the same because he yelled "cut" too soon. He scratched his head and teased them...:" Well, that's a first...guys...lets start again from the top ok, it seems a little off today. This is Olitz , ok?". They started over, but it didn't click. It went that way for 4 times before the director ,Tom ,gave them a heads up :" Ok everyone, why don't we leave Kerry and Tony alone for 15 and than we start over. ".
Everybody left the set, light, sound, Tom, her husband. It was just her and Tony now. She stared at the ground. She felt him come up to her and he lifted her face to his, met her eyes. :"Ker, what's wrong, baby?"
And before she knew it tears sprung in her eyes. She cried silently in front of him. He put his arms around her and sushed her :"Talk to me , baby."
She took a deep breath and finally admitted it out loud :" How can I kiss you the way I want to and not hurt my husband? How did you get divorced just as I got married? How did we get in this mess?"